Carnal Desire Ch. 11-17

Chapter Eleven

Wednesday, November 18th

JORDAN

I left Sydney's room in a hurry wanting to catch Kennedy before she left. I needed to talk to her about what just happened. I didn't want her to get the wrong idea or jump to conclusions about what she just witnessed. I just hope she understands, but I mainly hope that she's willing to listen.

I ran down the hall and out of the school, stopping at the front entrance searching for Kennedy. My eyes darting to every vehicle looking for her car. I wouldn't necessarily say I was panicked; I just knew Kennedy well enough to know that she would be more hurt than anything. Mostly because I hadn't told her about Sydney.

Maybe I should feel bad about not telling her when things first started in New York, and to be honest I really don't have a viable excuse aside from the fact that I wanted to keep things private between me and Sydney. Not that I was ashamed of us being together, I just wanted to keep my love life to myself until we knew for sure where our relationship was headed.

I finally seen her on the other side of the parking lot. I sprinted in her direction,

"Kennedy!" I yelled, she didn't turn around even though I knew she heard me. "Kennedy! Will you just stop so I can explain?" She didn't answer as I neared her. Fuck. She's super pissed.

Grabbing her shoulder, I spun her around so she could face me. As she looked up to me, I could see the hurt in her eyes. "What?!" She asked irritated.

"Let me explain." I said pleadingly, while attempting to give her my puppy dog expression. I hoped it would work; it usually did when it came to Kennedy.

"Fine. Go ahead. Explain." She said as crossed her arms over her chest, a sure-fire way of her telling me that I had better make this good.

"Do you mind if we go somewhere else and talk?" I knew requesting this would probably be pushing it, but I didn't think that being in the middle of the school parking lot would be a good place to discuss my love life. Even if it was practically deserted. "Please?" I nudged just a little bit further.

Kennedy gave me a look of disappointment. "Ugh -- Fine." She exasperatingly put her hands at her sides in surrender. I was thankful for my small victory, and I told her as much. We decided that we would meet at my place since her family has company over for the upcoming holiday.

It didn't take me long to get home, I pulled into the driveway fifteen minutes later. Immediately going up to my room and throwing my bag next to my desk, then went downstairs to wait for Kennedy to arrive. I scrolled through my phone, looking at old Snapchat photos then checked my Instagram. Finding nothing too earth shattering to fill the void. So, I put my phone in my pocket.

As I was about to get up and make myself a snack, the doorbell rang. Casually strolling to the door, I opened it to find an annoyed Kennedy with her right hand placed on her hip, "let's get this over with, I have a party to attend." I moved out of the way and motioned for her to come in.

Kennedy went into the living room and sat down on the sofa. I on the other hand began pacing back and forth in front of the tv, trying to figure out the best place to start.

Suddenly stopping in my tracks, I turned to face a still annoyed Kennedy watching my every move. I looked into her eyes, her intense gaze showing no hint of backing down. "Before I begin, I just want to say that I didn't mean to hurt your feelings or suggest in any way that I don't trust you." I stated, sincerity dripping from every word. I did feel bad for not telling her from the beginning. "I can honestly say I don't know why I didn't tell you --" I knew this admission was the catalyst to what lie ahead. "I guess, a part of me just wanted to keep Sydney and I a secret because I wanted something for myself for a while. Another part of me thought because of the age difference certain people would judge us and I didn't want to put Sydney through that." It was a partial truth.

One that I still couldn't fully explain, it was hard to understand, even for myself. Kennedy didn't say anything, she just stared at me not saying anything for three minutes straight as I waited patiently for her reply. "I get it. Believe me, I get it." She finally said with a sigh. "I guess the thing that made me so upset was you not telling me. You know I'm going to support you no matter what. You're my best friend, of course I'm going to be there for you." The look in her eyes softening.

"And I know that. Like I said, I just wanted to have something, or in this case, someone for myself for a while. I was going to tell you once I knew for sure Sydney and I were official."

"I don't see how you two could be any more official than what I just saw." She said half joking and half serious.

"It's not always like that." I deadpanned.

"It didn't seem like it from where I was standing." She retorted.

Deciding to let her snide remark go, I continued. "What I mean is, we never really put a name on what our relationship is. Mainly because we both knew that we had lives we had to get back once the summer was over. Neither of us wanted to do long distance and we couldn't bear the thought of not being together. So, instead we just decided to be together in the moment. It was like, when we were together, we knew we were together, no one else was going to come between that."

"So, you're basically telling me that you couldn't stay away from each other." She stated while making a nonchalant gesture with her hands.

"Exactly. Maybe it'd be better if I start from the beginning." I walked over to the other side of the sofa and took a seat. Kennedy turned to face me, getting herself comfortable in the process.

*****^^^^^*****

Thursday, June 11th

The day started off like any other normal day this past summer. I woke up, got ready for the day, had breakfast but on this particular day, I decided instead of using the gym at our summer rental penthouse apartment, I wanted to go to a gym not too far from away. I needed to get out and get some fresh air. Be around other people for a while, even if they were complete strangers and I wouldn't be striking up a conversation.

I admit, I was growing a little lonesome with my parents always working and me just being there, not really doing anything aside from working out, training, or reading. Then when I would be doing other mundane things to fill out my day, I would be thinking of the mind-numbing pressures of life seemingly coming at me from every direction. Worrying about my senior year and where I was going to go to college, my future ever more present.

Well, you know what I mean. That's when I decided to call Kennedy. I needed a welcomed distraction and plus I genuinely missed my best friend, even though I had only been gone a week. It was lonely without her, that's why I invited her to come and visit me. At first, I was a little bummed she couldn't come the following week, but I understood that her and her parents were going on their vacation. Which is why I was overjoyed that we settled on her coming out the second weekend in July.

It gave me something to look forward to. So, with that in mind I had a little more pep in my step, so to speak. Anyway, after our brief conversation, I ended up going to the gym. Doing my usual routine. I had just finished running three miles on the inside track and went to the water cooler. While I was there, I was trying to figure out what exercise I wanted to work on next. I decided to do a little bit of weight training and maybe, if I were up to it, some calisthenics.

Mentally pumping myself up, I made my way to the weight area. When I rounded one of the tech weights, I collided into a soft body. Instinctively, I grabbed her by the waist to steady her, pulling her closer to me. I was about to apologize for my lack of awareness, but then I became caught in her mesmerizing emerald orbs, and I couldn't look away.

I realized that I was probably staring longer than was customary. Not wanting to come off creepy, I opened my mouth to apologize, but she beat me to it. "I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention." Her voice was like velvet to my ears, soft and melonic.

I furrowed my brows, genuinely concerned hoping that I didn't hurt her. I immediately felt terrible thinking the worst. I know to some, it may seem like an over-reaction, and you could be right. But for me, in this moment of seeing the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on, it wasn't. "No, no, it's my fault. I wasn't watching where I was going. I'm sorry. Are you alright?" I asked touching her arm in an attempt to steady her a little more and when I did, I felt a strong tingle of electricity run up my arm and throughout my entire body, the force sent little shock waves that I never felt before. How I managed to keep my composure is beyond me. I couldn't help the smile that splayed across my face, then I remembered the question I had asked.

"Yes, I'm fine thank you. Just slightly embarrassed is all." She replied honestly, glancing down sheepishly.

"I'm the one that should be embarrassed. I'm so sorry." I said as lowering myself to catch a glimpse of her emerald eyes again. Then I realized that I still had my hands on her waist, I didn't want to seem like a creeper, so I put my hands at my sides. Although, it felt like she fit me perfectly, even if it was just my hands at her waist.

"Don't worry about it. I'll be fine." She replied dismissively.

"Ok, good. See you around. That is if we both watch where we're going." She giggled at my poor attempt at a joke, it was sweet really. Mainly because I never considered myself funny, I was always sarcastic. Something about this woman made me feel otherwise, her smile made me smile my toothy grin. Suddenly feeling a bit nervous and a more than a little aroused by everything about her, I knew it was time to take my leave. She must have sensed the same thing as she stepped aside.

I stepped where she created space. "Yeah, no kidding." I heard her say as I walked past her. As I casually walked to the free weights, I mentally kicked myself for at least not getting her name. I'm such an idiot. A beautiful woman and you can't even work up the courage to do something so simple. I'm fucking pathetic.

I didn't want to dwell on it too long, chances are, we'll probably never see each other again. And that thought alone was enough to make me mentally groan for my lack of courage. It's a good thing weightlifting had always been a way for me to clear my head in times like these. I had to focus on something else. Which I was finding out was a lot harder than it seemed.

To be honest, I was starting to get a little annoyed when a few other females came up to me asking for random things. Yet, I still managed to be polite and gently let them know that I was new to the gym. A couple of them tried to flirt with me but I would politely turn them down. I just continued on with my workout while my mind would go back to the beautiful goddess I had seen earlier. If only it was her, I would say yes in a heartbeat.

I noticed movement from the corner of my eye, sneaking a glance when she wasn't looking. It was indeed the beautiful goddess. Everything about her screamed Egyptian, from her long dark brown flowing locks to her natural sun-kissed complexion, her voluptuous curves that could bring any man or woman to their knees if she demanded. What I found to be most captivating is her mesmerizing emerald eyes.

It was hard to concentrate with her at the forefront of my mind. Sneaking another glance, I noticed she was stretching her muscles. I could feel my own starting to tighten. It was definitely time to work on my legs. I figured now would be the perfect time to go over and actually strike up a conversation and introduce myself. Depending on how everything went, hopefully it resulting in getting her number or name with her beautiful face.

As I neared the machine that she was using, she had just finished and sat back down. I adjusted the weights to what I thought was a bearable setting, it wasn't for a novice, that's for sure. I took a seat in the leg lift machine that was next to hers. By this time the butterflies were creating chaos in my stomach. I'm usually never this nervous, least of all at a loss for words. I wanted to be clever and witty, but nothing came to mind.

Too caught up in my own thoughts and lack of clever introduction as I started mindlessly lifting, I heard her melodic voice, "Wow, I'm impressed. I wish I could lift that much. How long have you been working out?" She seemed genuinely interested.

"Oh, this?" I asked gesturing towards the weights. "Don't think this pretentious, but it's nothing. I've been working out since I was about 9." Great, now she's going to think I'm boasting or trying to really impress her. I'm such an idiot.

The air around was silent, once again, I tried to think of something to say. Seriously, why was it so hard for me to talk to this woman? "I say again. Wow, I really am impressed. Such determination for someone so young." She remarked breaking the silence to which I felt like I was making things awkward.

How does someone respond to a remark like that. Yet, I felt comfortable enough to tell her the truth. "Well, to be honest, it wasn't something that I wanted to do when I was younger. It was kind of, forced on me. Not in a bad way. It's just that my dad," I hesitated, only because I didn't know how I was going to answer truthfully. If I revealed too much, it might put her off. I thought it was best to just leave it there.

"Never mind." I finally said after a moment of conflicted deliberation.

I could see a hint of disappointment in her eyes, "No, please go on. I don't mean to pry." She said sheepishly. I thought it was adorable. "It's just that I'm interested, I've always found genuine people fascinating." By the look on her face, I knew she was being genuine herself.

"Well, first of all thanks for that." I said smiling at her, it was a nice compliment.

"Well, it's true." She stated while returning the smile.

Taking a moment to actually think of how to word things correctly, without trying to come off as even more pretentious than I already have. "If I'm going to be honest, due to certain complications, my dad wanted me to learn how to defend myself. I actually started by learning Tai Kwon Doe, then it evolved to Muay Thai and then shortly after, boxing and wrestling. Once I started to actually take it seriously, I just fell in love with it. All of it." I figured sticking to the truth would help, albeit leaving out certain details. I didn't want to scare her off. Who knows how she might react to my complication.

However, thinking about how I came to love each sport does bring a smile to my face. Back then, my dad didn't miss a practice or a tournament. He would even train with me in the backyard or at the gym. Things have certainly changed after he and mom got the business to where it is. A lot of late hours and me spending most of my time either at school or at the gym with Dylan. "That's really interesting. I mean, it's wonderful that you found something that you thoroughly enjoy. I don't see that that often in younger people now days. May I ask how old you are?" An angelic voice asked breaking me free of my reverie.

I could lie and say I'm 19 or 20, but the thing about lies is, somehow, they always come out in the wash. So to speak. "I'm 18. I'm actually going to be a senior in high school this fall." I admitted. I could tell by the semi surprised look on her face that I probably killed any chance I ever thought I had at getting her number.

"Oh wow, I would have guessed you were at least 19 or 20 at the most." She confirmed my previous thoughts.

"I get that a lot. I think it has to do with a person's eyes." It was the truth. "People would often comment on my age. That and I had to grow up at young age. I don't regret it or anything. Honestly, I wouldn't change it for the world." Why the hell did I just say all of that? I'm hardly ever this open to people when I first meet them, I'm usually more reserved than this. At least until I have a better idea of who people are.

"That's a good way of looking at it." She stated, immediately feeling lighter that this beautiful woman appreciated the way I view certain things in life. Taking another glance in her direction, I seen a look of realization cross her features. "Oh, I'm sorry. Where are my manners? My name is Sydney Vaughn." She said introducing herself while extending her hand.

As soon as I put my hand in hers, I felt the tingling bolt of electricity shoot throughout my body. "Jordan Hawkins. Nice to meet you." I replied quickly trying to recover. We shook hands for longer than was considered necessary, I honestly didn't want to let go of her. There was something about this woman that was drawing me closer to her.

"Well, Jordan Hawkins, it was lovely to meet you as well. But I really must be going. I hope you enjoy the rest of your workout." Sydney said while she vacated the machine. It was over all too soon. I knew I blew it; I think I doomed it once I told her my age. But I refuse to start anything with anyone with a lie. It wouldn't be fair to the other person.

"Thank you. You too." I replied more to myself than her.

Well, at least I got her name. That is something at least, I had no choice but to let it go now. I did another repetition then went over to the water fountain and took a drink. I think I'm done for the day. I didn't want to be too sore tomorrow and I was starting to feel a little hungry.

I went to the locker room, going down the aisle where I left my belongings. After grabbing my shower kit bag, I put it in one of shower stalls. Realizing that I forgot my towel I quickly made my way back to my locker. Right where I left it, on the bench. I slung it over my shoulder. I rounded the corner, bumping into a soft feminine body for the second time today. Once again, steadying the person while placing one hand on their waist and other on the small of their back, this was done out of pure instinct. I wasn't trying to overstep my bounds or social protocol.

Then I looked down and seen those piercing emerald eyes staring into my own. She smiled at me causing butterflies to swarm around my insides with excitement. "We really need to stop meeting like this." I commented. I didn't mean for my voice to sound low and husky. Then I realized the cliché comment I made. I'm seriously an idiot, I thought as I mentally facepalmed myself.

Suddenly I was now hyper aware of where my hands were. I'd be lying if I said I didn't like my hands there because I was beginning to enjoy where my hands automatically seemed to go with the encounters we've had. She felt so nice, soft and delicate. I forced myself not to explore her further, I could feel the heat emanating between us. A certain part of my anatomy becoming firm.

"I wouldn't want to do it with anyone else but you." I could see a slight flush of the cheeks as she uttered the words. But I hardly noticed, it was the sound of her sultry voice that caught my attention.

"The feelings mutual." Replying with the first thing that came to mind adding a slight grin and a wink, then stepped around her walking in the direction of the showers. I couldn't believe I had just done that. I'm not one to overly flirt with someone, well, to be perfectly honest, I never really had to. Women just seemed to naturally come to me, I don't know why. I never thought of myself as a huge prize or worthy of such attention.

I didn't abuse or take advantage of it either. I'm not trying to say that I'm a saint, Lord knows I'm not. I've had my fair share of one-night stands and short-term relationships. And looking back on it, not once did I initiate any of them. However, in each of them I had an abundant amount of respect for all of the women I've ever been with. I guess all I'm trying to say is, flirting openly is new territory for me.