Carnal Desire Ch. 11-17

It isn't easy trying to maintain a level head when all I wanted to do was to in the comfort of Jordan's embrace. It's beginning to feel like the gods had a twisted sense of humor, as if some unforeseen force was determined to keep us apart. How could fate bring us together in the most magical way possible, then in a cruel twist of fate, pulls us apart.

Being at home was proving to be quite difficult than I expected. I was finding it hard to concentrate on the simplest of tasks, even as simple as grading papers. Which I have been attempting to do for the past three hours. The familiarity of the situation wasn't lost on me as I looked around my somewhat lavish home office. A dark unsettling feeling lay in the pit of my stomach while my heart heavy with its ominous unrelenting pain.

Even the sapphire blue painted walls that were once a comfort to me, seemed especially dark and dreary. The dawn of light shone through the bay window casting shadows from the office furniture placed in the room. The artificial light of the desk lamp shinning minimally at best. I lazily threw my phone on the desk then sat back in my chair, sighing heavily as the aftermath of what I had done began to overwhelm me.

I wish it didn't have to be this way. Hurting Jordan is the last thing I wanted to do, which is why I have resigned to the fact that I was only doing it to keep her safe. Reminding myself of the true reason behind my actions. However, it didn't stop the anguish that lay within every time I remembered the words I said to her. But nothing hurt me more than the look on Jordan's face as I told her we could no longer be together.

My heart breaks every time I replay it over and over in my head. I hated having to say them, I hated being put in this position. I hated that I had to stay away from the one person who I wanted to be close to more than anything or anyone in this world. After she stormed out, I cried for hours until there were no tears left. Hoping and praying for the agony of what I had done to stop.

It's still there. It hasn't gone away. At this point I'm not sure if it ever will. It takes every bit of strength I have not to give in, it's especially difficult when I have to see her in class. I have to gather all of the strength and courage I possess not to look in her direction, because I know once I do, I will run to her. Like a moth to a flame, I am drawn to her.

In the days following my breakup with Jordan, I haven't even really allowed myself to fully go through the motions. I know it must seem like I have, but in all honesty, this is just the tip of that particular iceberg. Fear keeps those emotions in check, because I know once I do, I'll never be able to pick up and put the pieces back. Admitting that I'm the one who caused this is easy. Dealing with it is another.

To add insult to injury is Jordan's outlandish behavior. More than a few times I've seen her kissing some other girl in the hallways. Whether she cares if I'm there to witness it doesn't seem to matter to her. The jealousy is fueled whenever I see it, wanting nothing more than to pry them apart, whoever the girl happens to be at the time. Being a teacher and authority figure I should have been breaking it up.

Yet, I couldn't bring myself to do it. I didn't want to play the part of jealous ex-girlfriend in Jordan's eyes. She would see the hurt in my eyes if I were to step in. If I was being totally honest with myself, I was mostly afraid of what I might do or let slip if I were to attempt to dole out my authoritative obligations. Ultimately deciding it was best I keep away from anything that had to do with Jordan would suit both of our best interests. And with that thought in mind, I began the grueling process of grading papers.

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Friday March 12th

JORDAN

I arrived at Kennedy's a few minutes early, being raised with the notion even if you're on time you're late has been ingrained in me ever since I can remember. Also leading to when my parents would tell me it's bad manners to keep a lady waiting. I knocked on Kennedy's door expecting her to still be in the middle of or her almost being ready. This girl is hardly ever on time.

Which is why it was a surprise to see her dressed to the nines in a hot pink Ruched mini skirt with a small slit on by her left thigh, the skirt contrasting her tanned skinned nicely. Her long sleeved black and white blouse doing wonders for her figure. The colors separated at a diagonal leaving the top half white and the bottom half black. The straps of her blouse crisscrossed above the chest area which showed minimal cleavage, leaving her shoulders bare. She paired her outfit with black three inch round toed stiletto heels.

Kennedy wore her down in lose curls, making each of them cascade flawlessly down the middle of her back. Any idiot would be lucky enough to have her arm their arm for the night, or in general. Her aqua blue eyes sparkling in the light emanating from the sconce lighting outside.

While my best friend was dressed to kill, so to speak, I wasn't. After what went down with me and Sydney, I didn't really put a lot of effort into what I wore these days. I couldn't really care less either. Tonight, was no different. I had on black ripper skinny jeans, a white graffiti hoodie that said 'Hustler' in black letters, which had gold graffiti crowns and green graffiti dollar signs in random places. I completed the outfit with my black custom Air Force Ones that had the LV for Louis Vuitton in white neon stencil all around the shoes.

I contemplated pretty much all day whether or not if I should come out tonight. A couple of times I almost called and canceled, but the thought of disappointing my best friend didn't sit right with me. I had already avoided her long enough; I knew I couldn't continue to take advantage of our friendship. Especially after how she helped Sydney. That's something I would never be able to repay her for.

"So, what do you think?" Kennedy said, I realized I had been standing on her doorstep not saying anything. Lost in my thoughts as was now the norm.

"I think you look beautiful KD." I replied giving her a halfhearted smile. "You always do." I could see a slight blush form on her cheeks at the compliment.

"Always the charmer." She teased. Yeah, I heard that one before. I thought to myself.

"I hardly doubt that. But thanks." I remarked a little sullenly than I expected. I never believed myself to be a charmer, just someone who speaks the truth when I see it. "Shall we get going?" I asked as I motioned for her to walk ahead of me.

By the time we arrived at the party, cars lined the driveway and even down the side of the road. It's a good thing the location of the house was far enough on the outskirts of town where we wouldn't disturb any neighbors. I didn't know we would be driving this far, then again, it's not very often I go to these types of parties.

As we walked up the driveway, we noticed a few classmates were drunkenly wrestling in the front yard, it didn't seem to be anything but two friends engaging in horseplay. Music could be heard as we approached the front doorstep. The bass of the music making the walls shake it was so loud, so there was no reason for us to knock.

Stepping into the large Victorian style house almost looked like something out of the Better Homes and Gardens magazine. Twin staircases on either side of the front entrance, white marble floors in the grand entryway. The balcony could be seen above, hormonal teenagers were everywhere. The further we went into the house, passed the staircase, to right was a massive kitchen with drinks on the island countertop.

To our left looked to be the living room, modern furniture placed strategically throughout the room. A DJ was in the far-right corner of the room, doing his job by hyping the crowd of teenagers. Directly in front of us was a wall of windows along the entire back of the home, with sliding patio doors in front of us. One thing was for sure, this house was definitely packed with people.

Kennedy and I made our way through the throng of people and into the kitchen to get ourselves something to drink. I was deciding on if I should just have a water or something a little stronger. If I was being honest with myself, I felt a little out of my element in this setting. It's been few and far between where I would show up to a house party. Not that I was opposed to them.

Just as I made my decision, Marnie, the cheerleading captain came up to me and Kennedy. Marnie's blond hair was put up in the signature cheerleading style, she had on sky blue halter top, which showed off her nicely tanned complexion. She wore a plaid white and sky blue pleated mini skirt, showcasing her long smooth legs. The white three-inch stiletto heels finishing her look. "Hello Kennedy." She said sweetly, flashing her what I assume was a fake smile.

"Hello Marnie." My best friend replied in the same manner.

Marnie turned to me her smile grew wider and genuine. "Hello Jordan." She said in a sultry undertone. She licked her lips as I felt her gaze roam my body from head to toe. I didn't know whether to be flattered or uncomfortable in the moment. I chose the former.

"Hey Marnie. How's it going?" I asked attempting to quell the shared animosity between the two blonds.

"Better, now that you're here." She remarked with a sly wink. "Anyway, welcome to my home. There's plenty of drinks to go around. Feel free to help yourself. If you have any questions just ask, I'll be around."

"This is your party?" I questioned; I was under the impression this was Nick Campbell's party. Not that it would have made a difference either way if I showed up or not.

"Yeah, why so surprised?" Marnie asked sweetly.

"I'm not really. I just thought it was someone else's party." I admitted as I glanced in Kennedy's direction. She just shrugged her shoulders.

"I can give you a tour if you like." I could see the hope in her eyes.

"That's okay. Maybe later." I didn't want to completely disappoint her. If anything, I could use it as a last resort if I ended up getting bored. I had a feeling Kennedy would be going home with someone else.

"Alright then. Have fun. See you around." She with a flirty smile then spun on her heels and left.

I turned to my best friend who was looking at Marnie's back in disgust. "I could use a drink. How about you?" I asked my best friend; she nodded her head yes.

Instead choosing from the drinks that surrounded the island countertop, I decided to look in the refrigerator. It was full of bottled and canned beer. I grabbed two bottles and handed one to Kennedy. "I'm gonna go find Cole. Do you want to come with?" She after taking a couple of drinks.

"No, I'm good. I'm just gonna go out back and get some fresh air. Meet me out there after you find him." The last part coming out as more of a question.

"Okay." Kennedy replied cheerily then turned and went towards the living room area.

I walked onto the concrete patio, feeling the cool spring breeze brush against my skin. The area was well lit, people were scattered around the yard. At least fifteen people were occupying the pool and the hot tub. Some were sitting on or around the edge of the pool. Conversations could be heard in each of the groups of people.

There was a bar on the far side of the pool. Trees surrounded the side of the house. From the light of the moon and the party lights that lit the surrounding area, I could make out a cobblestone path that led to what appeared to be a decent sized guest house and an outline of trees beyond the guest house itself.

I recognized a few people from a few of my classes, we managed to strike up a decent conversation as I drank from my beer. Before I knew it the libation was gone. I excused myself to get another one. Walking to the bar across from the pool where one of my classmates was playing bartender. He handed me another bottle, I was going to go back and talk with group I was before, but then I felt arms wrap around my waist.

I turned to see Lauren looking up at me. I could smell the hard liquor on her breath. "Hey baby, I've been looking everywhere for you." She slurred. I had to hold her steady to keep her from swaying.

"Hey Lauren. Do you need to lay down or something?" I questioned as I noticed her eyes could hardly stay open.

"Is that an invitation?" She replied with a drunken smile. Her full weight hanging on me as she grabbed my shoulders to keep from falling.

"As tempting as the offer is, I wouldn't want to take advantage." I remarked as I took her hands in mine and forced her stand up.

Lauren looked up at me, "I wouldn't complain." She said in a playful manner. Attempting to be sexy but the alcohol had more than taken its effect on her.

"Yeah, but my chivalry would." I replied trying to let her down easy. The last thing I wanted was to cause a big scene.

"Come on Jordan, you know you want to." I was about to answer when I heard a familiar voice come up from behind me.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, but is everything alright over here?" I looked to my left and seen Marnie staring at Lauren with a worried expression on her face.

"Yeah, everything's fine." I answered, just then Lauren lost her balance, I pulled her close to me to keep her standing upright. "Actually, I was wondering if you had an empty room available?" Marnie gave me questioning yet playful smirk, then it dawned on me what I had implied. "Oh no, not like that, I just think Lauren had too much to drink and needs to rest." I explained.

"I know what you meant." Marnie smirked. Her eyes not giving anything away. "And yes, we do. We can take her to the guest house. No one will bother her there. Besides, it's off limits." We each grabbed an arm and put it around our shoulders and carted Lauren off to the guest house.

Once inside, Marnie led the way to one of three rooms. It was rather large for a guest house; you could fit another family in here. We laid Lauren on the queen-sized bed, covering her up with a blanket that was at the end of the bed. Turning off the lights and closing the door.

I walked to the spacious living room, I was about to leave and go find my friends when Marnie stopped me in my tracks. "Jordan." It came out more of question.

When I turned to face her, she was already standing a few feet in front of me. "Is there a problem?" I asked concerned.

The look on her face, showed she was having an inner conflict. Most likely wondering if she should say it or not. A brief moment of resolve came over her expression. "Well kind of." She stated. "Mainly mine." She admitted looking down, unable to hold her gaze towards me.

I took a step closer to her, if she had something that was bothering her, I wasn't going to turn her away. Not when she looked so conflicted a moment ago. "What's going on? Are you okay?" I inquired. Closing the short distance, if she needed a shoulder or a sounding board, I was here to help.

Marnie finally looked up at me, her eyes darting from my eyes to my lips. Next thing I know her lips were on mine, I closed my eyes and let the kiss take me away. Imagining once again, that it was my Egyptian goddess that was in my arms. I thought if I kissed her hard and long enough, or if I let my imagination remember every detail of her then maybe I could magically conjure Sydney's presence to be the one pressed up against me.

I felt Marnie's hands attempting to pull up sweater, her small hands were caressing my abs. She reached around and started caressing my back as I pulled her hips closer to me. I could feel myself hardening as I continued to think of Sydney. While our tongues fought with one another, the vision of Sydney vivid in my mind, I could feel hands beginning to unbuckle my belt.

Before I knew what was happening, delicate hands were wrapping themselves around my tungsten solid cock. I couldn't help but to moan as she stroked it from base to tip. Sydney always knew exactly what to do to make me erupt like thousand-year-old volcano. I wanted revel in the feeling that only Sydney could do. The stroking continued as our tongues swirled and pushed each other further to the edge.

That's when I heard her moan and like a light had been turned on in my mind, I remembered where I was and who I was with. I pulled away slowly, gently removing her hands from my body. Marnie looked at me in confusion. "What's the matter?" She asked, worry in her tone.

"Nothing Marnie. It's just that, "I could see her the expression on her face fall. "You don't deserve this. Anyone would be lucky to have you, and I know I'm probably the biggest idiot to say this, but -- ". The blond pressed her finger against my lips to stop me from talking.

"You're in love with someone else." She finished for me.

"I'm sorry." I apologized, hoping I didn't cause her too much embarrassment.

"No. It's okay. I get it. I won't hold it against you." She stated reassuringly.

I tenderly reached for her hands in an attempt to further dissolve the situation. "I hope you can forgive me for leading you on." I softly pleaded.

"Nothing to forgive. I am the one who kissed you after all." She replied with a blush on her cheeks. Her cheery demeanor back in full. Both of us straighten out our clothes, making ourselves presentable once again.

"I'll see you around Marnie." I said with a whole-hearted smile, she nodded in agreement then I exited the guest house.

After leaving the guest house I went back to the bar and got myself another drink. Luckily, we hadn't been in there long enough for anyone to suspect that something went on between us. Everything was pretty much the same as we left it. I glanced around looking for my friends, I couldn't believe that I still hadn't seen them yet.

I took a long drink of my beer, finishing its contents as quick as possible. Placing the remnants on the bar. I had had enough of being here. I texted Kennedy I was ready to go, when I didn't receive a reply, I made up my mind that I would leave without her. I knew Cole could take her home. I texted him anyway to let him know he was on Kennedy duty.

Making my way towards the house, I looked at the large crowd of people I would have to walk through to get out the front door. Fuck that shit! I looked to my left and decided to walk along side of the house. The area was dark, the light from the front porch led the way to where I needed to go.

That's when I heard an all too familiar voice whispering in the line of trees. Then I heard another voice, this one unfamiliar. It sounded as if they were both arguing. I could barely make out what they were saying, so I decided to get as close as possible without either of them hearing.

"You shouldn't be here!" I heard the familiar voice say, irritated by whoever they talking to.

"What did you expect me to do? You weren't answering any of my calls or texts." The other voice countered.

"If anyone see's you, if she sees you, you're going to ruin everything that we worked hard for." The familiar voice raised their voice. I didn't want to believe what I was hearing. How could they do this to me? What the fuck to did I just walk into? What the fuck is going on?

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Chapter Fifteen

Monday March 15th

JORDAN

I woke up before my alarm went off. Going about my morning in my usual routine. Only this time with a slightly different mindset. One thing I knew for sure, I needed to talk to my mom and dad. I knew this type of information would be vital, we wouldn't want something like what happened with my mom to happen again. And from the sounds of it, I knew it was just going to be a matter of time before their plan was set into motion.

Time was definitely of the essence.

Which is why I spent most of my weekend thinking about what I overheard. To say that it didn't turn my world upside down would be putting it mildly. I couldn't believe my stroke of luck. It wasn't much to go on, but for all I knew, it could be the start of the break we needed.