Castles in the Sky

'I know, droll. He must have laughed when he thought of that little gem.'

She turned to Louise.

'I told you it wasn't a co-incidence. I bet your honeymoon to Lesbos wasn't either. I knew that was deliberate. We're so busted.'

Briony laughed as Louise shook her head. She didn't look happy.

Briony continued. 'When she realised that he'd gone and no-one knew where he was, she had an absolute melt down. I think she realised what she'd done. Trouble was, this was late Christmas Eve. We couldn't do anything. Didn't know where he was, he could have been in Letchworth, could have been in Manchester. We had no idea.'

She snorted. 'No idea and no phone to call. We know he's got a house here, but we don't have the address. We have his phone number and his phone. I guess he must have another phone he uses for business.'

Nita nodded slowly at them.

'We, she, couldn't contact her husband. Her husband who'd walked out at Christmas. It was a bleak and miserable Christmas. His departure hung over the whole of the holiday.'

'Took you guys a while to come up here.' Nita observed when Briony's voice trailed off.

'She had to get herself together, we had to work out where he worked and how to get here. It took a few days to pluck up the courage. She, we may not look it, but we're scared that everything is screwed up.'

'So how you going to fix it?'

Nita looked at the two of them. She knew that she had a strong poker face. Her face wouldn't be telling the story that their faces were telling her. Neither one replied to her question.

'You going to give each other up?'

'I don't want to lose either James or Briony.' Louise's words were quick and spoken in a quiet, but clear tone.

'Wow, no compromises.'

'How do I make that choice? Either I lose my husband who I love or my lifelong friend? If there's a way I can have both, I need to find it. This life has worked for years, why should it change? Why can't I have my cake and eat it?'

She looked at Nita and Nita could see the defiance in her eyes.

'Either way you lose.' She observed. Louise nodded.

'My relationship with Briony isn't a threat to my marriage, I don't think. I'm capable of loving two people. Other people get to love two people or more. I have enough love in me.'

'How about you Briony? Are you able to share?'

Briony laughed at the question. 'You ask the damnedest questions, Nita! I'd love to be in a monogamous relationship with Lou. I've loved her all my life. But we don't work well, just the two of us together. It all gets too intense and too in-our-heads. James fits our life; he breaks up that emotional lock. I can share. He's a good guy and I like him, he's always been so inclusive, so friendly.'

'What if he wants to share you as well as Louise?' Nita asked, arching an eyebrow.

'What?' Louise asked immediately.

'What if Jamie says, for instance, I'm OK with you having Briony as a side piece, but I want to play with her as well?'

Louise looked at Briony, Nita could see the shock at her question on both their faces.

'Oh, come on ladies, what if he wants to watch or maybe even, join in? Not exactly a novel question for a heterosexual man to ask his lesbian-leaning wife, is it?'

Briony and Louise were staring at each other, looks of surprise and horror on their faces. They both missed the playful grin on Nita's face. Her face was back to its unreadable best by the time they recovered.

'I don't know. It's never come up.'

'You might want to have a think about it. Might be the thing that keeps you married!'

She could see the two of them digesting what she'd said. There was a whole silent conversation in their expressions. This was the best fun she'd had in a while.

Briony paused to collect her thoughts. 'I guess I'd do it. If he insists. I'm not attracted to him. That sounds bad. I'm not attracted to men. I like him, a lot. I'm probably closer to him than I am to Terry. I know it sounds cheeky given I'm in a relationship with his wife, but he's important to me. He's a good guy. I could probably make it work.'

Silence fell on the room. Nita saw Louise reach a handout and squeeze Briony's hand.

'Ladies. I think this shit is fixable. I like that you are both willing to think about options. But I think you need to mull over what I've said before you sit down and talk. Now, I'm wanting to haul ass. You two wanna see Jimski?'

Briony glanced at Louise and nodded. Nita led them out into the office.

'I'm chipping guys, call me if there're any problems.' Nita said as she walked out. A chorus of 'Goodbyes' saw them out the door.

'Follow me. Actually, do you have sat nav?'

She gave them the post code and they set off in their separate cars.

Chapter Eight -- Tough talking, tough listening

Nita got home first, she knew the route and she parked outside the house. She watched as the two women squeezed into a gap a few cars down. She waited as they walked over.

'This isn't what I was expecting. This is a pretty nice neighbourhood.'

Briony said. Nita smiled at her and pointed to the first house.

'Oh yeah, very middle-class Manchester this area. You won't get mugged with a knife here. In this 'hood, you'll get done with an injunction. This is my house. This one, next to it, is Jimbo's.'

'Those are big houses. Victorian right? Three bedrooms, stone built. Lovely. I can see why James picked one of these up. They must be worth a fortune now. You're neighbours? He never said.'

Nita nodded. 'Yep. That's how we met. I knew there was a white guy next door, but nothing about him. Not wanting to be rude, but all white guys kind of look alike to me. He kept himself to himself and I wasn't exactly social at that time. My marriage was struggling, then it broke up and I was licking my wounds. I went for a job at the factory and after I got it, I realised I was neighbours with the boss man.'

She beckoned them to follow her. She walked up to her front door and let herself in. Her guests walked in behind her. The two ladies stood awkwardly as they looked around the large, open room.

'Bloody hell.' Said Briony. 'You'd never guess it was like this from the outside.'

Nita smiled. 'When we decided to live together, we thought about the best way to work it. This way, everyone thinks we're neighbours and have separate houses. But as soon as you open the door, we knocked through to make a single, big house.'

Louise and Briony were busy taking in the joined hallway. It was clear that a lot of money had been spent to merge the two houses together. The effect was stunning. The space was open, airy, and well set out. This house was every bit as gorgeous as the one that they lived in.

'Live together?' Louise asked, but before she could speak further there was a frantic clamouring.

'Mummy, Mummy, Mummy.'

There was shouting and a small raven-haired blur ran into the room and grabbed Nita's legs. She picked her up groaning at the weight.

'You girl are eating too many samosas. I can barely lift you.'

The girl smiled her pleasure and hugged her mother. The two women looked on. It was hard to see it and not be touched by the scene.

James walked into the room; he was carrying a large infant. As soon as the child saw Nita, she was straining to get out of James's hands and get a hug from her mother. Nita put down her daughter carefully and collected the child from James. James walked over and gave Nita a peck on the cheek.

'Hey Louise, Briony. Welcome to Manchester.'

'James, I ...' Louise started but he was shaking his head.

'Chill out Lou. We've got time to talk. It's more important we have the right conversation, than rush it. Are you two staying the night?'

Briony and Louise looked at each other, uncertainty clear on their faces.

'We've got a guest room. It's got a double bed. I'm sure you'll be able to share it for at least one night. I believe you have had practice.'

He walked off into the kitchen followed by a snickering Nita.

The two women followed, eyes everywhere, looking, admiring the house.

'Tea? Coffee? I've started marinating the chicken for tea, it's prepped when we're ready to cook.'

He made them drinks and they sat down at the table. The older child sat down and carried on the colouring she'd interrupted to greet her mum. The infant sat on Nita's lap.

'To finish the introductions. You know Nita, this is Jasminder and Aisha.'

Louise and Briony looked at the two girls.

'How old are they?'

'Jas is three, just turned three and Aisha is one.'

Louise turned to Nita. 'They do favour you strongly.'

'I don't know. I always think that they look more like Jim. Jas especially.'

She watched Louise's face fall as she put together what was meant by the comments. Louise looked at James, he could see the sadness in her face, the pain.

'We've got a lot of talking to do, Louise. A lot. Briony, I'm glad to see you here as well. You're part of this conversation. I don't want a talk without your voice being included.'

He took a sip of his tea.

'James.' Louise asked in a quiet voice. 'Can I have a hug? I've really, really missed you.'

He nodded and stepped around to her. She moulded herself into his arms and he could feel the gentle shaking as she cried into his shoulder. He held her, he could feel the tears prickling his eyes as they hugged. It was a long hug before they broke apart, each wiping their eyes.

'I've missed you as well, Louise. Please don't think for one moment, despite all of this, that I don't love you and value you. I do.'

'I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry. I was stupid. And really hurtful.'

'Hush. Let's have this hug and get ourselves a bit more balanced. Don't rush, you haven't had a hug off me for a couple of weeks. Take your time and enjoy it.'

He felt her snuggle back into him and he put his face into the hair on the top of her head and sniffed deeply enjoying the smell.

'I've missed you, babe.' He murmured. They held each other for a few minutes before they sat back down, Louise wiping tears from her eyes.

'My mum was mortified when she realised you'd left. She made me promise the first thing I'd do was to apologise on her behalf.'

James looked over at Briony. 'I hope I didn't ruin your Christmas. You caught me when I was absolutely cream crackered. I didn't have the capacity to stop and explain myself properly. I got out before I did something or said something that'd cause permanent damage, either to us or to other people.'

'We didn't sleep together. I went home to my parents, both nights.'

James shrugged as he sat back down. 'You didn't have to on my account, Louise.'

'I wanted you to know James, I didn't disrespect you.'

'I think we've got a different definition of disrespect.'

'Shall we save this conversation for after the children are in bed?' Nita asked, she could see Jasminder's big, brown eyes tracking the conversation with interest.

'Have you got enough for us?' Briony asked looking nervous.

James nodded. 'Nita rang from the car to say she was bringing you guys home. I've put enough together for all of us. Are you both ready to eat?'

He got up as they nodded and started moving around the kitchen. He'd done a lot of the prep work earlier and now it was just the cooking.

'What's cooking?' Briony asked, craning her neck watching him.

'Methi chicken, rice, a dhal and I've made roti as well.'

'Sounds nice. Not a meal you've ever cooked for us.'

'It's an Indian dish, one we eat fairly frequently.'

James continued. He could hear Nita talking with their visitors and it wasn't long before he looked around and saw Louise with Aisha on her lap. Briony was being shown the colouring that Jas was working on and ended up with a colouring pencil, helping the child out.

The meal was a success, the food tasted good. Both visitors were aware that James had cooked the meal from scratch including the bread. A couple of times Nita lapsed into a different language when speaking with Jas, mostly upbraiding her for poor manners. Louise looked at James quizzically.

'It's Gujarati, one of the bigger Indian languages. That's where Nita's family are from. We use it around the house.'

Louise nodded her understanding. But a few moments later when James spoke the language as well, her head whipped around sharply.

'You speak this?'

'Uh huh. When we started planning kids, like properly planning them, we decided all the different things that were important to us. Being able to speak in both of their heritage languages was one of the first. That meant I had to take lessons.'

He chuckled. 'I still go. Tuesday nights, to the Mundir and have lessons, although they're more practice sessions now than actual lessons.'

'You can speak it, like properly?'

'I'm not fluent. But simple conversations I can do. The bit I need to get better on is the reading and the writing, but even Nita can't do that worth a damn.'

Louise shook her head. James could see the sadness in her face. This was what she was wanting, the domestic family scene and she was here as an outsider. He could see her tracking Nita with the kids, hustling them through their evening routines and he could see her envy. It hurt him to see the look on her face as she tried to cope with it.

'Louise, Briony, would you like to help with the children's baths?' Nita called out.

The two guests each took a child each and under the mother's guidance, bathed them, helped get them ready for bed. James went and read a story to each of them and settled them down for the night before walking back through to the kitchen where the women were sat.

'Drink anyone?' He asked and sorted out a few snacks for them to nibble on as they talked.

'Right then.' He said as he sat down. 'Cat's out of the bag. You know about me and Nita. I'm the girl's father and whilst we're not married, we're in a committed relationship. I know about you and Briony and to the best of my knowledge, there're no secrets between us. Unless you've got a real shocker to hit me with.'

There was silence as all of them thought about what to say next to fill the gap.

'OK, I'll start.' James said. 'I don't want a divorce, I'm happy with how my life is. I can live with you two being together when I'm not around. But not with the shit you pulled at Christmas. That was embarrassing and for me, out of line. I was very careful to stick to our vows ...'

'I knew it.' Briony said, a hint of triumph in her voice. 'That was why you had the recommitment.'

Louise looked at James and he nodded his head, agreeing with Briony's words.

'She's right. I busted the two of you and we worked out what was going on ...'

'You spotted us in the garden.' Briony said, shaking her head. 'I told you he sussed it.'

'Yep, only took me ten bloody years!'

'Why didn't you say something?' Louise asked.

'I needed time to have a think about what I wanted. You would not have wanted my first reaction. I came up here and got some time and distance to think things over.'

'Then the recommitment ceremony?'

'Levelled the playing field. Meant we were equal. I was doing what you were. Those damn vows were so precious to you, I stuck to mine just like you stuck to yours.'

'I did! I never broke them, not ever.' Louise protested stridently.

'I know. I never broke mine. Just reworked them slightly after I found out just how friendly you and Briony really were.'

'So, you and Nita?'

'Strictly after the recommitment. I have done as you did. My vows are important to me. But make no bones, that was why I did it.'

He could see the looks on the visitors faces. They told a story.

'I'd like things to go back to how they were before Christmas. But I want to build more links between my two lives. I want Nita coming down with the girls some weekends and I want you both coming up here. Briony, you're part of this family and I want you to be involved with it as well. Given how important you are to Louise and are to me, I'd like you being part of their lives.'

Nita looked around and not seeing either of the other two about to talk, spoke up.

'I don't want the two of you to divorce. I've got what I wanted and even though I'm sharing a man. Something I never thought I'd ever do; it works for us and for the children. My family are OK with it, not happy but they can see it works so they don't bitch too much. I'd like to be more involved in your life away from here and I'd like the girls to know their wider family on Jamdaddy's side.'

'Are you OK with James not being here? Doesn't that make it difficult with the girls?' Briony asked.

'When Jimmy isn't here my Mum comes over. For her it's an escape from my father and the family and she loves spending time with the girls. She covers the gaps that Jamnesty leaves, well, more or less, and it's bought me and mum closer. Helped repair our relationship.'

'The girls cope with him being away?'

'Yeah, its normal for us. Family life has changed, it's not Dad, Mum, and the children. A lot of the families at Jas's nursery are single parents or gay parents. They appreciate him a bit more when he's here. When he comes back, they're kind of all over him, its cute.'

'I'm going to ask; how do you cope knowing he's going home to another woman?'

'Same way you do when he comes home and Louise puts you into second place.'

She paused for a moment thinking.

'I think it's better to focus on what you have than what you're missing. I think that's key to being happy in life. Too much stressing about what everyone else has and you don't doesn't make you happy. You get miserable. I'm grateful for the time with Jay and I work to make that time as enjoyable and fun as possible.'

'I guess. I kind of think the same way. When she's with me, I want her heart and soul with me and that's what happens. If I worry about her and James, it'd drive me mad with jealousy and comparisons. I've had to learn that over the years.'

There was a pause as everyone reflected on what had been said. James spoke into the silence. 'Right, you know where I stand, where Nita stands on this. We've been honest and upfront, please pay us the courtesy of doing the same. Louise, Briony time for you to show your hands. What do you want? Do you want a divorce?'

He said it in a casual tone but saying the words and keeping his voice calm and steady was difficult.

'I don't want a divorce.' Louise said. 'I want you back as my husband.'

She paused, tilting her head on the side.

'I want Briony in my life. I love her.'

She looked at Briony who'd turned to face her as she heard her words and her face flushed red. All the adults could see tears prickling in her eyes.

'I know I should've told you years ago James, but I do love Briony. She's an enormous part of my life and I don't want to imagine her not being in it. Same as I can't imagine you not being in it. You're both halves of me.'

'Why didn't you tell me?'

Louise laughed softly. 'That's easy. By the time I cared what you thought, I didn't want to ruin what we had. I was scared if you knew we were a package deal, you'd run a mile.'

'But you're not a package deal. I just had you.'

Louise looked over at Briony for a moment before she answered.

'Briony could cope with sharing me, but not with sharing you.'

James and Nita both looked at Briony with a question in their eyes.

'Bad experience with a guy when I was younger.'

She held up a hand to stop the explosion of noise that followed her statement.

'Not that bad, but enough to put me off. I get very edgy around guys I don't know well.'

'What about school? You've never said anything.'

'School's easy, there's a desk between me and any man, I make sure of it. As for not saying, let's be honest, I'm pretty good at keeping secrets.'

Silence fell on the room for a moment as everyone collected their thoughts.