Caught at the Divorce Hotel

The conversation gave me some hope as she continued, "Over the last several weeks I've read dozens of articles on affairs. I even read some stories where the wife gets a polygraph test to answer all the questions that the aggrieved husband would have. From what I've read, there are about twenty common questions that need to be answered, so last week I made an appointment and went to an office downtown that specializes in lie detector exams. I had them ask me all of the questions I had prepared. They said the questions were unorthodox and not what they would usually ask, but agreed to my request. They said they would add them to their normal questions randomly. I gave them the list of questions I knew you had to be wondering about and answered them honestly."

In a desperate voice she said, "This envelope has the answers to your questions. I want you to know that I have not opened the envelope or looked at the results. I know what's true, and I'm confident these results will let you know I'm being completely truthful. I'll even volunteer to take a test every few months to prove how much I love you and that you can trust me again. I also met with an attorney and asked her to prepare a post-nuptial agreement, to prove how serious I am and to try and win back your trust. The post-nuptial agreement states that if I ever get stupid again, I give up custody of the children, and leave our home without support or alimony. I've read that this is common for cheaters like me. Yes, I know what I am now, and what I did. I accept the title, no matter how dirty it makes me feel. I also know I need to atone for what I've done, and I'll promise to put you first, always." She said as tears were now falling from her eyes and onto the table. "You will find the postnuptial agreement along with the polygraph test in the envelope."

I sat there stunned at her actions and her revelations about what she had done. My wife understood the impact on our family and our marriage.

"Well Lisa, I have to admit I'm surprised by your actions. It does give me something to think about, but I have one serious question. Why are you trying so hard to save this marriage? I mean, you obviously lost respect for me as your husband and were looking for something better. Now, with your looks and great body, you can have any man you want. You need to be honest, and ask yourself why would you want to stay with me, an overweight middle-aged man? You've already made it clear that you wanted more than I could give you. Knowing how you felt about me, I can't understand why you want me now? I think you just feel guilty about getting caught and want forgiveness to ease that guilt."

"No! That's not it. I want us back because I love you. You were there when I was sick, took care of me, nursed me back to health, and never complained all those years. You've always been there for me and I've always felt your unconditional love. I took it all for granted, and I realize now how precious that love was. There is nobody else I want, and I can't even imagine being with someone else. It's always been you, and I threw it away. And truthfully, you've always been all I needed sexually, you've always made me happy. I just took things for granted and stopped thinking about anyone else but myself, and that will never happen again."

She was now sobbing uncontrollably in the restaurant, making hiccup noises from the heavy crying. We were now getting looks from the other patrons. I went to her and put my arms around her, and held her as she cried into my shoulder. My heart was breaking again from all of her pain and I wasn't sure how much more of all these emotions I could take.

After she settled down, she handed me the manila envelope and told me to read the report later tonight when I was alone in bed. It definitely got my interest and I wondered what I would learn.

Just before we pulled into the driveway, she looked at me with the saddest eyes I've ever seen and said, "Please don't leave us, Joel. Don't move out of our home. I'll be happy to stay in the guest room if you don't want me in your bed. I understand why you wouldn't want me there, because when I think how I would have reacted if you did what I did, well let's just say I understand and I'll be there as long as you want. I just want to be with you and have our family stay together again. Please don't leave us. I know you'll never forgive me, but please give me a chance to win your heart back once more."

I smiled at her dad as we entered the house, giving him a small ray of hope of us getting back together. After they left, we got the kids off to bed. We went to our separate bedrooms after giving each other a small kiss for the first time since the accident.

Once in my room I took a shower, brushed my teeth, climbed in bed, and looked at the manila envelope, wondering what answers I would find inside. Would it make any difference? Did I want her back after everything that had happened?

When I opened the file, I was shocked to find the amount of detail in the report from the polygraph test. I knew that answers would most likely determine our future as husband and wife. I looked at all the questions and answers, all the data, and then the summary. Apparently, she did a great deal of research because all the questions I've had were now answered and in my hands. I wasn't sure I was ready, but I would soon know the truth.

Here are the relevant results. There were several unrelated questions I didn't list. The questions seemed to have been jumbled and out of order, so as not to allow her to know what was coming next. It was amusing as I could tell from the questions that Lisa had come up with, because a true polygraph would not ask questions this way.

• Is your name Lisa Conner? YES (followed by several opening questions)
• Did you cheat on your husband and family? YES
• Do you love Donnie? NO
• Do you want to be with Donnie again? NO
• Do you have any feelings for Donnie? NO
• Did you have intercourse with him? YES
• Were you on drugs or alcohol? NO
• Did you plan the affair? NO
• Was this the first time with Donnie? YES
• Did he wear a condom? YES
• Did you have an orgasm? YES
• Was your orgasm better with Donnie? NO
• Was he a better lover than your husband? NO
• Was he bigger than your husband? NO
• Was this your first-time having sex with Donnie? YES
• Did you give him oral sex? NO
• Did you kiss Donnie? YES
• Did you kiss him before that day? NO
• Did you ever let him touch you before that day? NO
• If you weren't caught, would you have done it again? NO
• Since you've been married, have you had sex with anyone else? NO
• Do you love your husband? YES
• Did your husband do anything wrong to make you cheat on him? NO
• Do you want a divorce? NO
• Will you ever cheat again? NO
• Do you find your husband attractive? YES
• Do you want to be with anyone else? NO
• Are you willing to do anything for Joel's forgiveness? YES

After reading the answers I slept soundly that night, still not sure of my future but somehow the answers to those questions gave me some relief.

The next morning, I spoke with my children and gave them some of the information and the extent of her betrayal, along with her actions to make things right. As we were still a family, I wanted their input on our future.

"Kids, as you already know, I was about to move out and find an apartment but last night your mom asked me to stay. I want this family to heal and get past this, but I need to know how you feel. Can we forgive your mom and take her back and work on getting our family back together? We all make mistakes, and Mom made a big one, but I believe she deserves another chance. I need to hear how you feel before I make any decisions for the family."

I looked at my son and said, "Jake, you suffered physically from your mom's mistake, how do you feel about what I've said?"

"Dad, I don't blame mom. I should have never walked home; it was my fault for disobeying your orders to never walk home. If I hadn't walked home that day, we would all be happy. It's my fault," he cried.

My heart broke watching my son take the blame for all the errors made on that day. I was proud of him for taking the blame and standing up for his mom and rubbed the top of his head.

"Son, let's not discuss blame. It's in the past and we need to focus on the present and our future. What we do now is all that matters."

The girls spoke up. "Dad, we don't want you to divorce Mom. Yes, we're all still angry, but if there's any way to forgive her, we need to stay together as a family. Please, Dad, don't get divorced, let's give her another chance."

"To be completely honest, I'm not sure if that's an option right now, but there might be a way that we can stay together as a family. You do understand that if I stay in the house, things between your mom and I will be different. She will be sleeping in the guest room. The love we once shared has been damaged, and we might not be the same for a while, and I honestly don't know if we will ever be that way again."

"Dad, we understand, but it will be much better to have both of you here with us, and not move out. Maybe in time, we can all get things back as they were."

I was now proud of my girls and realized that we did raise good kids. At that moment I knew we would try to save our family and forgive. We all walked up to Lisa's room and told her we wanted to have a family meeting and asked her to join us.

Lisa looked terrible. She had bags under her bloodshot eyes, obviously suffering from stress and crying. Because of the coldness from the family, her life had become a living Hell. Oddly, the only person that was speaking to her, and undoubtedly forgave her, was Jake. Her son, who was suffering the most. He was the first to forgive his mom.

This was our first family meeting since the incident, and Lisa was nervous as she sat alone on the couch. I walked over and sat next to her and held her hand knowing this was going to be a difficult conversation.

"I'll speak for all of us, Lisa. What you've done has damaged this family, and left me with the most difficult decision in my life. You may not like what I've decided, but there's no other way that I can maintain my self-respect as a man."

I watched as she sat quietly holding her hands tightly together on her lap, "The kids have made their desires known and want our family to stay together. Up until last night, I didn't think there was a way to stop me from leaving you, and moving into a new apartment. But after I read the polygraph report, and what you've done to try and save our marriage, I was moved. You surprised me with your efforts over the last month.

Lisa, to be honest, your contrition and actions have made me reconsider my decisions. Your cheating was devastating, but the real damage was the way you treated me and the family for the last six months. Then, when I learned that you mentally left us and were dating another man, I knew I was going to divorce you and end our marriage. On top of the pain that caused, I was enraged, because your cheating was partly responsible for Jake's injuries. And that was unforgivable."

I saw a tear fall from her eye as I went on, "After considering the situation, I believe in my heart that if this situation were reversed, and I had taken a lover that caused Jake's accident, there would be no discussion and you would have already kicked me out. But for some reason, which I can't explain, I still love you, and losing you will cause me even more pain than you've already bestowed upon me. It's a real-life quagmire, but my love for you is still strong. Today we had a family meeting about our future. Since this was a big decision I needed the kids' input, and as a family, the final vote was for us to try and stay together and work towards healing."

She looked openly relieved and a smile crossed her face.

"Don't look so happy just yet. You see, despite the kids' wishes, I cannot stay married to you knowing that you've cheated me, broken your promise to remain faithful, and forsake all others. You broke our marriage contract, and if I stay married to you then I'll be accepting that it was OK. It may sound vindictive but I am still going through with the divorce."

Her smile was instantly replaced with a look of dread and tears started to fall.

"Let me finish before you have a nervous breakdown. Like I said, I still love you and don't want our life together to end."

Now she was looking at me with a confused expression.

"We will divorce and start over, that is, if you still want to. The current living arrangements will not change, and you and I will date and work on our future together. Starting over will allow me to understand why you want to stay married. Don't get me wrong, this won't be easy. We will both have our freedom to live as if we are single, and dating others is on the table. That means you have the freedom to explore your desires, and see if being married to me is really what you want. I'll have the same freedom."

Everyone was staring at me as I explained our future. "Don't misunderstand what I'm offering here. I have no desire or plans on dating others, but we both know you had desires outside our marriage, and I can't take the chance of you doing this again, and if you do, I might also want to have the option to find someone else as well."

I had to stop for a drink as my mouth was dry, and my emotions were on edge. "This next six months to a year will let both of us know what you really want in your life. It will also give me time to see if I can live with knowing that you needed another man in your life. I haven't mentioned this before, but my confidence and self-respect were an additional casualty of your betrayal, and it's something I will need to resolve and rebuild before I can give myself to you again. I liked your idea of the post-nuptial agreement and almost accepted your suggestion, but I realized that staying married under these circumstances would have condoned what you've done, and I would still wonder if you wanted more than I could give you. Under my plan, you will have the freedom to make your own decisions for the future. Depending on how things work out for us, I can try to trust you again. If things go well, there will be a Prenuptial agreement and new vows at our wedding ceremony. Yes, we will have a wedding ceremony to publicly commit to each other once again."

Without stopping I went on, "During this time, counseling will be mandatory. I will also seek a counselor to help me with my anger and trust issues, and we will also attend family counseling, as you have hurt all of us in different ways and we all need to work with a professional. The simple solution would be to just get a divorce and move on, but we love you and I want to make an effort to stay together. You also need to work at getting your relationship back with your parents. You have a lot of work in front of you if you want to stay with the family. Last night you told me you would do anything for me to stay. If you still want that, then be prepared for a long healing process." I stopped and let everything sink in, and we sat there until the pressure from the silence was overwhelming.

"So, Lisa, are you still willing to do whatever it takes? Do you still want to try and keep this family together?"

Lisa put her head in her hands in tears, "Yes, I love you. I don't want a divorce, but I understand how you feel. Thank you. I know I don't deserve a second chance. I thought about what you said, and if this was turned around, I would have divorced you already. Giving me another chance is all I ask, and I'll prove to you that you're all I want and nobody else. I promise I'll make it up to everyone. I'm so sorry, and I pray that someday you can all forgive me for what I've done."

I stood as the girls came over and wrapped their arms around their mother. I held Jake's hand and for the first time in months, we were together again. We knew at that moment that we turned the corner and we would be stronger after all of this drama.

Epilogue

It took over five months for me to allow her back into my bed. I had to give her credit as she did everything possible to win my trust and love back. I won't get into every detail, but she made us all know that getting our family back together was her primary goal, and she won us all back after a long recovery, dozens of counseling sessions, and family outings. From that day on, we spent all of our free time together as a family.

There were several times during that year that Lisa came to my bed, but those times only ended up being a way for both of us to relieve our sexual frustration. There was no lovemaking. Our time was never more than a few minutes, because my mind kept thinking of that dreadful day. Neither of us dated anyone or even discussed anyone else. My own therapy sessions were helping me accept things and regain my confidence. After losing interest in sex with Lisa, I was finally able to perform and get some sexual satisfaction, but lovemaking took much longer.

After ten months we did consummate our lovemaking, but it took several years before we experienced the level of intimacy we once shared. Her betrayal left a lasting hurt which I never fully resolved. Lisa's commitment was solid, and she proved to me that she was fully committed to me and not interested in anyone else. Her love and reassurance helped me get my self-confidence and respect back to an acceptable level, and I was finally happy again.

One year after that meeting, we had a small wedding ceremony with some friends, her parents, and the kids. We shared vows and signed the prenuptial agreements. During our small reception, she made a small speech to everyone apologizing for her actions that hurt the entire family and thanked everyone for their support. She promised to be a loving mother and a loyal wife. Many tears of happiness flowed that afternoon, and I even felt a few tears leave my eyes.

During our reconciliation, Lisa became less outgoing and suffered in her own hell. She realized how damaged I became from her affair. We stayed married and happy for the next 30 years. We watched our kids get married and have children. All in all, it was a happy life, and the events of that tragic day were now in the past and never to be mentioned again.

Donnie paid for the damage he caused my family and marriage. His wife kicked him out and handed him divorce papers shortly after Lisa confessed her sins to her. He ended up living in a studio apartment. After his child support and alimony payments, Donnie lived a miserable life. Between the alimony and support payments, and only being allowed to see his kids on weekends, left him broke and depressed. He suffered even more when he learned that his ex-wife was dating, and how much the kids loved mom's rich boyfriend. Weekends on his boat, trips to Disneyworld and Universal made him jealous and sad, as he realized that their future step-dad was a better man.

Donnie continued to run into bad luck from job to job as he continued to mess up. Dating girls didn't last long either, when they learned about his cheating history. He continued to date married women as they were easy prey to his good looks and charm. This was his downfall.

One night he was run down by another angry husband as he was coming out of a club. He suffered from internal bleeding, a dozen broken bones, a collapsed lung, and terrible pain for three straight days until he passed away. He left a trail of pain and died alone. With no family to claim the body the state eventually cremated his remains, and buried the ashes along with other unclaimed bodies, in a mass grave.