Caught on Date Night

"Listen, there is nothing to talk about Annie. I know what you have done. I know how long you have been doing it. I know all the things you said to him about me and our marriage. I saw you do things with him that you never did with me. I saw how you dressed for him. I know he's bigger and better, I heard that a hundred times in your videos. You lied, concealed, cheated, and took me for a fool. I can't believe you were that stupid. If I'm missing anything, then we can talk, otherwise, I have nothing to say."

"I'm the fool, not you. I don't know why I let it happen, you gave me everything I ever wanted, and I love you regardless of what you heard in those videos. You have to know I never meant to hurt you, and I never wanted you to find out," she said with tears rolling down her face.

"Exactly my problem, Annie. You never wanted me to find out. You wanted to keep it a secret and continue to lie and fuck your lover behind my back. That's the real issue here Annie. I can forgive infidelity, hell we're all human and make mistakes. But this wasn't a mistake. You wanted this, and you wanted to keep it a secret and continue to lie, cheat, and conceal your relationship.

I love you Annie but as Tina Turner says, What's love got to do with it? My trust is gone, and I wonder if I really ever knew you. How many other men were there, how many times did you fuck your lover and bring yourself back to my bed full of his sperm? I'm so disgusted, I can barely speak."

Sobbing now she realized what I was feeling and understood what she had done. She had no comeback or excuses but admitted her wrongdoing.

"OK, I'm guilty and I hate myself. There was never anyone else, and no matter what I say I know you won't be able to forgive me for what I did, but I don't want to get divorced. I'll do whatever you want to stay in this with you. I think I need counseling and maybe we can go together to find out what's wrong with me. Please don't leave me."

I was silent for a moment and said, "Annie, you can go to counseling, figure out whatever you need, and I'll support you, but I can't live with a woman that can throw me away so carelessly. Your actions and the things you said told me your true feelings, and I don't see any way I can live with someone that feels that way about me. I know there are other women out there that would be more than happy to be with me. You had your chance, and you freely gave it away.

Enjoy your week here with the girls, try to explain why you're leaving. I will not disparage you, but you need to tell them you're leaving and why. In the divorce agreement, I've given you full access to the girls, anytime you want, but they will live with me. If you continue to slut around and be a bad example for the girls, I will make your visitations much more difficult. Look, I'll treat you better than you deserve, and help maintain your relationship with the girls, but I have two questions I would like answered. Listen to my questions and think about them before you answer. My first question is WHY? Why did you risk everything for this? My second question is, was it worth it?"

I called Jeremy the following Monday and told him to meet me for lunch on Wednesday. After convincing me how smart it would be to meet me, I explained to Jeremy how upset I was that he destroyed my marriage, and how close he came to being taken out. I then explained how I had a better plan for him.

During lunch, I explained how many people were hurt because he seduced a married woman. I explained how I expected him to make restitution. He was going to pay for Annie's rent, and car payments for the next 3 years. I felt he should have some pain for his actions. I explained how it would work.

"I'll send you the payment information so you can set up the automatic payments. This is your punishment and trust me, you're getting off easy. Even though I'm done with my slut wife I still love her and want her taken care of. Since you're the one that caused this, you will follow my demands. This arrangement will help Annie get on her feet after I kick her out. I don't care how you do it, but if you don't follow through on this, I will make sure you lose your job, and that Sara finds out about your infidelity. As a side benefit, you get to remain alive. All of this is because you had to seduce a married woman. Assholes like you need to understand that there are ramifications for your actions. Why not go after single girls instead of breaking up families? That was really a bull shit move, Jeremy."

Epilogue

I treated Annie well, allowed her to visit the children, and kept their relationship strong. We remained friendly, but she never gained back my respect or trust. Jeremy made those payments every month, with my threat hanging over his head.

Annie was never able to explain or answer those questions to my satisfaction. She was clear that her cheating and lying were not worth it and was sorry she did it, but she couldn't explain the why. She now lives alone, with no boyfriend, and without the love she once had. I could have destroyed her, but losing her family and my love was enough of a revenge.

Even with her counseling, the answer to the Why question, still could not be explained. The best she could come up with so far was, "I don't know why, it just happened. It had nothing to do with you, or our marriage, because I do love you, and I was happy with our sex and our life together, but it was something new and exciting. I screwed up."

I could not hold back, "Annie if you were happy, why would you dress up and wear sexy clothing for him. Why would you dress like that and do things for him that you never did with me? Perhaps if you had made that effort with me, we wouldn't have been in this position. 'It Just Happened' isn't really an answer. You did it over and over and you dressed to turn him on each time. But you tell me you loved me. I hope someday you can tell me why; I think you owe all of us that much."

For us husbands and boyfriends that have been cheated on, this seems to be the riddle that can't be solved. Thanks to these two cheating couples, I'm not sure I can ever trust, or give myself fully to another woman again. Sad but true.

Married partners should consider their actions and the consequences they inevitability bring. The path of destruction left behind is greater and longer-lasting than the excitement of sexual gratification. Speak with your partner. Either share each other's needs or leave the relationship, but a betrayal is a painful act with long-lasting effects.