by AwkwardMD
Really great job. I get the feeling this story, without the sex, would make a great anime.
I like the whole erotic fantasy pill concept you've got going here. The end there with Roxie being the fantasy girl was nicely done. I like romance and hopefully this'll be evolving in future chapters (which I VERY much hope there will be). Eventually Beez will probably find out about Roxie drugging him though which could make for a great scene beginning with Beez standing up to Roxie and ending with them in a relationship or something~.
I would really like to see Beez and the real Roxie having sex though. Crossing my fingers that that will happen at least to some degree next chapter, and that the next chapter comes soon!
...And don't care, this is one fun story, feel like I should be making popcorn before I read it. Have you done any screenplay work Doc? So many mysteries about the bottom and how it came to be... thanks Doc, can't wait for the next episode, LOL!
This story is getting better and better...
I wouldn't have caught the "hallucination" of Roxie at the end if one of the other commenters didn't point it out... I was that engrossed in the overall story! Her reaction of being utterly flattered made much more sense, haha!
This is some top notch writing that makes for a top notch read. Don't keep us waiting for the next chapter!
1) It is extremely rewarding when some of the more nuanced aspects of a story are picked up on and appreciated.
2) No, I have never done any professional writing. Depending on the day, writing either scratches an itch for me, or it works a muscle. Both metaphors are correct from certain points of view.
3) Chapter 3 submitted just now. A few days seems to be standard for turnaround on visiblity.
This is one wild story. Reading it is like driving 90 mph down a dead end street and passing through the wall, into another reality. Really like this.
"... a man named Viktor. He even spells it with a K. It's like, 'thanks mom and dad, now I have to be an evil henchman'. "
LOOOOOOL
This story reads like it ought to be a screenplay, and I mean that in a good way. Fast pace, no wasted time in exposition. 👍
Also, I remember the first time I heard the name "The Motherfucker" (in Light Rays), I found it hilariously fitting, but I couldn't stop the nagging sense that I'd heard it somewhere before.. Then tonight I remembered that that was what the villain in the movie Kick Ass titled himself, which made it all the more funny for me. :)
Is there someone out there with more talent than me that could turn this awesome story into a graphic novel!!!
...there is a piece of art for Roxie, showing her basic physical appearance. I attempted to get the artist who drew that (on commission) to do more, but he was jnjnterested in the character.
What I mean to say is, I am right there with you. I would love to see this in graphic novel form.
Revenge an odd habit we humans used to use it or practice ….. but unfortunately a successful revenge is mostly not a successful satisfying task because it doesn’t substitute the former fact’s ….. so hopefully this chemical company and the greedy managers will getting a real hard shove up the ass ….. Roxies doorkeeper is still better then a electronic device, but needs to prove this theory of mine
🐉🐉🐉🐉🐉🐉🐉🐉🐉🐉🐉 ten dragons
Revenge an odd habit we humans used to use it or practice ….. but unfortunately a successful revenge is mostly not a successful satisfying task because it doesn’t substitute the former fact’s ….. so hopefully this chemical company and the greedy managers will getting a real hard shove up the ass ….. Roxies doorkeeper is still better then a electronic device, but needs to prove this theory of mine
🐉🐉🐉🐉🐉🐉🐉🐉🐉🐉🐉 ten dragons