All Comments on 'Chasing the Dragon Ch. 04'

...And the violence leading up to this last sex scene makes the whole chapter seem so otherworldly, never read a story with such intense dream and lost-consciousness sequences. Gotta wonder where you're leading us this time Doc. Obviously there's more to Mr. Bubbles than a simple moat monster... can't wait for the next chapter... ( but I'll be here re-reading this one until then :) Cheers! --- Josie

As I set here wondering what to comment, I looked over into the next column where it says similar stories. Similar? Not even fucking close. I have never read a story like this before. It is a mix of amazing scifi, erotic sex and eclectic psychology, presented on spinning plates, which are constantly being twirled to keep them ballanced on the sticks. I would like to say I know where this is going, but that would be a damn lie. I am totally confused, totally frustrated and totally hooked. My only regret is that I don't have the entire novel in front of me to devour. Young Lady, this is damn good!

..use a little help. Sure there's a word missing here and there and a line editor would be glad to lend assistance. But what an editor can't do is provide a setting to help the reader move as quickly as you do. And you do move FAST! Your dialog fits the characters and setting (what little you've sketched for us) remarkably well. The characters are believable, even in delirium. But sometimes you move so FAST you leave us as breathless as Beez running from Mr. Bubbles. You don't have to slow down, just be as succinct with your setting descriptions as you are with your dialogue and you should be fine.

This really needs to be a novel, it's incredibly original (or maybe not, I haven't read a lot of conemporary sci-fi lately...you need to do some research to determine your target audience). The difficulty you may face on this section of Literotica is that it's so out there that it may face resistance from some who are conditioned to expect a more lesiurely pace. I was watching a documentary on Pablo Ferro last night and your pacing reminds me of his advertising style...way ahead of it's time.

Keep at it, ignore the unenlightened. But before you publish you really need to have a sit down with a line editor. Beyond that...5 bullet holes!

Just because you don't have the intellect to understand how cutting edge and ahead of it's time this story is, dosen't mean it's bad. It just means you need to stick to something on your own level. Captain Underpants or Diary of a Wimpy Kid springs to mind.

You've done it... Bravo, Doctor. Another successful operation.

I once thought that no story on literotica would ever trump the Rising series, despite the fact that it remains incomplete. I have never cared as much about any story or the characters within as much as what and whom you've presented before me.

I have no words, so I shall just wait for the next chapter.

Awful and awesome and just beyond anything I can say. I’m afraid of how this will end but can’t stop reading. I love your stuff but I have to take long breaks between stories just to recuperate! Maybe I’m too weak minded :D

The path and the idea worked perfect until a peaceful happy sexathon including a shower massage broke down wall after wall ….. the monkey, it was her doorkeeper like her pet her beloved family ??? …… violence vs violence the winner is pain grief tears in heart&soul

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