All Comments on 'Chemistry Girl Ch. 01'

More! More!! More!!!

I second the More, More, More sentiment. This is a great story. There seemed to be a few minor issues with word omissions in sentences, nothing that a proofreader couldn't fix. Chapter 2 Brother-Sister full on wild sex, Chapter 3 Lisa tells Mr. Thompson about the accident and they damage more lab equipment as he is overcome by the lust generated by the hyper pheromones induced by the mysterious blue liquid. Handling test tubes with unknown substances explains her need for a massive project to pull her grade up to a C-, I think it will be an A+ after their lab lust explosion.

I stopped reading when it took Lisa an hour to get home from school. I just couldn’t take any more of your drivel. If English is your native tongue, it doesn’t show. Your misuse of common phrases and lack of editing and proofreading make it difficult to follow your storyline. Take a creative writing class and find someone with a good grasp of the English language to proofread your stories.

Hmm, so Samantha became Sarah.. This shows a lack of proofreading. There are tons of others on this site that would gladly help you edit this. I think it is a great premise and look forward to where it might go. Keep writing, but get some help with the editing.