All Comments on 'Child No More Ch. 02'

But this just seemed to me clunky rather than flowing smoothly. We have learned a little more about Maria, which is fine. However, I might have expected Tony to express a bit more concern about her mother's murder since it was mother that worked with Tony while Maria was small.

Some of the human reactions seemed a little strange. A simple one: isn't 'shock' a rather extreme reaction to discovering that Snickers now come in a blue version?

And, as before, the shortness of the episode means that the story hasn't progressed to anywhere really interesting. Serials need a hook at the end of each episode so that the reader wants to continue to the next episode. I think it's lacking here.

I just hope that things become a bit more interesting in Episode 3.

Lue

Is not what this is....it's un-captivating and not romantic...this episode only ranks a 2 and that is generous.

You telling your personal life story? Two pages and you've killed two hours of life.

Get on with it.

We don't need the blow-by-blow, we need the blow-by-blow!

It may be slow but it is enjoyable. Erotica is ment to stimulate the mind as well as the body. Good job so far.

Well that took a dark turn. I'm sad to see that you're no longer active on Lit, as this story had a lot of potential. It's such a common scenario. Older rich White man, poor young Filipina girl.

Too bad you never got around to finish it. I was actually kind of enjoying it, despite not being into "Mature" stuff much. I would love to have seen where this relationship goes.