All Comments on 'Child of Mine'

That was good. 5stars

It's really very strange to be ignorant of your child's blood group and only to know it when he is 8 years old.

Normally it's being tested from birth, giving information to parents in case of a medical emergency, right?

This story was ok, mostly because when previous tales where the dad discovered his child wasn’t his nearly always ended with a destroyed relationship. The ending here was a bit more original, but still might have shaken the dad if hadn’t known she was going to bars while he was doing reserve duty.

Loving wife.

Is there no post rape contraception available wherever these guys lived ?

Yet more extreme violence. I'm beginning to lose heart with this site. That Connie was attacked by the same man who raped Mandy but on a different occasion was laughably improbable but then the whole thing was too. Didn't bother to give it a score.

DNA test the other two kids.

Hopenot very well written & concise. Enjoyed your story. Well done! 5* from me

She doesnt wanted to avort a raped child ?

He should check DNA on all his kids.

Good story.

@Anonymous. Re. "Coincidence'.... Not a coincidence, that's how Connie and Tommy met. The fact they had such a strong event,and his saving her, helped them bond early.

4*, just because that's how a real brother would behave!

That's is a bullshit.

To get raped, you have to leave the bar with him. So she intentionally went into his car with him. Why didn't her sister help her? Where was she? Hooking up with another guy? I don't believe her story.

It’s momma’s baby, it’s daddy’s maybe. Always get a DNA test, especially when your girl is acting weird and you suspect cheating. In this case it would have forced the discussion about her rape sooner and gotten them all into counseling.

DNA test always. Her story may be true. However....she is nothing but a liar to her husband. Not a partnership at all.

Where was her sister while all this was happening? Mandy and Beth went out to a bar and Beth didn't see some guy taking Mandy out of the bar whether it appeared consensual or not?

Tom's story is he caught the guy dragging Connie to his car to rape her. So, nobody witnessed a guy physically dragging a woman to his car in the parking lot?

Concept of the story is good. Could have used to cleaning up of the details to make it more believable.

Story was good, but there are some holes. But some of the comments are really ignorant. As to the story, wife's secrecy makes no sense. If police could not find rapist, what made her think her husband would. And, how did Tom find the rapist by following basic open evidence, and the police did not? Worst part of story is that wife kept secret from her husband, but author really does not deal with that breach of relationship.

Some of the comments are are truly asinine like the need to DNA the other children. Why? Another suggested abortion, but that assumes wife should have known that it was rapist's child. Another suggest morning-after pill. That is more legitimate question, although pill got FDA approval only in 2009 and not clear when the event took place.

I was molested as a child. It took me almost 6 decades to come to grips with it. Good story.

I like the basic plot but its delivery left a lot to be desired. First was this the first kid or the third? You said he had three. And that make a difference since he should have immediately questioned the parentage of other 2. A rape covered up by 4 other close family members for close to 9 years?

If she was out to the bar with her sister, how did she get raped? Weren't they looking out for each other or were they both playing with guys in the parking lot? Never mentioned or questioned.

You have the guy get justifiably pissed but why give the hotel in case of an emergency but turn off his cell phone and ignore calls. That old 'I'm mad so I will turn off my calls so I can get my head straight thing is stupid. The man always says he needs information but then cuts off one of the biggest sources of info he could get- from the cheating wife (or in this case raped wife).

Now if the brother is so worried the guy would go and risk jail when he found out, why did he not quietly tell his brother what happened and how he took care of it. Again, you don't wait 9 years.

Sounds the brother is the real dad to me

The idea was good, but not well executed. Felt awkward and didn't flow. Read sort of like an outline. No character development. That said

Thanks for writing

I liked it. What amazes me is the number of experts on the phycology and mental state of a rape victim. 80% of rapes go unreported. His wife, Mandy, did report it and according to the story a rape kit was taken. Now you can poke holes in the fact that the brother, Tom found him by checking the video of the parking lot were Beth and Mandy went and the cops didn't. That was very sloppy police work. You could say that Tom should have told the brother and didn't because it was Tom that raped her and it was a smoke screen story, but if that was the case the brothers would produce a child with the same blood type. As far as her willingly going out into the parking lot because she, wanted to be raped? Guess they never heard of date rape drugs. The real question is where Beth was, when Mandy was being raped. They were supposed to be out together. Yes, there are holes in the story but there are holes in a lot of stories. When there are stories with no holes or mistakes then they will be published on a sight that you have to pay to read. I gave it 4-stars because on the whole it was pretty good.

@Bham487 Yeah with the two having the same name? And being the one to have "taken care of it"? It's really fucking suspicious to me too. The identical name thing is so on the nose that I would consider it poor writing if this wasn't the case.

Also what's suspicious is what's missing, children born from rapes are usually treated differently by the mother. No, not 100% of the time but a good amount of the time. The mother has trouble not seeing their rapist when they see the kid. This is actually something a woman told me that was raped by her ex where she couldn't take care of the kid herself because of the emotions it caused her and has her mother raise the kid for her.

Also what's strange is that the husband is the one that needs counseling while the wife suddenly admits to enjoying sex acts she once thought were 'dirty' before. It took the husband several months to mentally be where he can have sex again but never described anything similar about his wife at the time which typically would be in a much worse emotional state when it comes to sex.

Also consider this, the wife did a rape kid but "they didn't find anything". The brother just had to go to the bar and get the owner to show him the video and from that video he was able to make out the guys license plate number...does anyone else see the problem?

Not sure how Connie fits in though. She's either lying for her husband or she's was part of something really kinky between the 3 of them.

I can't sympathize with anyone here so didn't like the story. A wife should not be refusing to tell her husband she was raped and letting him think a child that doesn't bear his DNA is his. The statement in the story that the wife was right not to tell him was ridiculous. As others have pointed out it is difficult to imagine why the police didn't find the perp since the brother was so easily able to do so. It is a little tough for me to imagine the owner of the bar showing the security video to someone not the police that the bar owner would have reason to suspect might go vigilante and break the law.

As much as this is dark I have read darker and more twisted, but for me it was nice to read something that wasn't cuck, not intended that way either. Sometimes things that happen especially in the past so long ago weren't taken seriously like rape. It's only in the last few years that rape has been taken seriously, it's no longer what the woman was wearing or flirting those are common things but back then they in the eyes of the law would have contributed to her being raped as I'm he said she said and she was dressed for it. No I liked this darkness and touching on the emotional side of pain,

Amusing to read the comments about testing the other kids as if these events were real.

If the other kids were not the MC’s the author would have written that story not this one and let’s face it, it’s the author’s creation so of course he would know if the other two were not hubby’s and happily tell us all about it. Wouldn’t he?

Too many holes in the plot.

So much here makes little sense. Mandy doesn’t tell Ricky she was raped to keep him from killing the rapist and being sent to prison. Yet she tells his brother Tom. (?) So Tom goes and does what they wanted to keep Ricky from doing. Nothing happens to Tom. But for some stupid reason Tom doesn’t tell Mandy. So Mandy continues to think Ricky mustn’t know even though now the rapist is dead and Ricky therefore can’t do what Mandy is scared he would do - so if Tom and Connie had only told Mandy what they did, she could have told Ricky and all of this stupidity could have been averted. Don’t these morons talk to one another? How could Connie in particular have kept the truth from Mandy when she knew Mandy was still suffering? No freaking way.

That is just plain dumb. No matter what the wife should have told him about the rape. Trust is now broken and he will always question what she is withholding from him in the future. Get the whole healing process taken care of quickly, not 8 years later when everything is drudged up. And yes the DNA testing needs to be taken for the other two kids in the family. As someone said, no way the sister didn't accompany her if it started in side the club, so she left with him. Based on this story there are way too many missing details, the wife messed up big time in not being forthcoming regardless of his anger issues. Between the wife, SIL and his brother they could have all helped address the trust issues that simmered and boiled for 8 years.

His wife's acting strange & he didn't know why. He didn't ask questions, force her with an answer? If she didn't tell him then, leaving her later would've been the least he did; if she did, he could've helped her. When she found out she's prego, why didn't she get an abortion? Of course, her husband likely would've found out that way. I agree with the commenter below: maybe a DNA test should've been made at that time.

She's being raped in the guy's car back seat. WHY did she leave with him? Or did he see her leave then force her into his car? Story doesn't communicate the answer to any of these questions.

Staying with the storyline, she didn't tell him, leaving him to raise the son born from the rape. He's right to at least rape; her sister wanting to talk to him then saying constantly that he should talk to his wife should've led to him telling her that she wanted to talk, so he's leaving if she's not supplying info.

Too much missing but the writing was mostly good & interesting overall. But that missing info takes away from the enjoyment of the story. Spit between 2 & 3 stars, I'll give it a 2 due to the missing parts. Too bad. Bob

What was she doing in a bar, and why didn't she make a fuss on the way out and to the car. Four stars.

JPB

The sister was at the bar with her, does that mean she "got lucky" and left her sister there to fend for herself? The cops couldn't watch the video and get his license plate like the civilian did? It's all too convenient and makes the conspiracy theorist is me perk up.

Too much lying, for too long. They need serious counseling. What else has she lied about to 'protect him'?

Too many plot holes. Emergency contraception has been available since the 60s. Did the hospital offer it and she said no? I hope the brother had checked for cameras before rescuing his future wife.

Wow talk about gullible. They cooked up that story years ago in case you found out that she was truly a slut. Raised another mans kid, the ultimate betrayal.

I'm tired of the rape card getting played. While she wasn't to blame for getting pregnant, she betrayed her husband by committing paternity fraud. The rape doesn't excuse her using her husband as a slave to support and raise her child. Blubbering about rape trauma bullshit does not justify or excuse what she did. He was callously exploited by his wife and her family. He was entitled to know about the rape and the fact he wasn't the child's father.

A brother like his is a gift from God. The tragedy of rape should be dealt with love, therapy and retribution. Rape should have a mandatory 20 years to live prison term.

I must be suffering from some mental condition. I swear I read this exact story some time in the last two or three years. I do have an excellent memory for stories... just not the year I read them.

At around 30-50 short stories per day, in different platforms, over the last 10 years... Well, it mounts up.

Nope. So even though she did a rape test wit cops she doesn't tell her husband?

How did the guy get her out of the bar and forced into a car? No one see's it? She doesn't scream? If he had no weapon or some valid reason for her to not yell then why was she leaving with the guy without Beth? Did they both separate to go home and he snuck up? That is missing.

I would be so pissed off at my wife and family for holding that secret. I would question anything she says from now on and yes I would DNA the other kids.

I would NOT hold it against the kid but she things would never be the same.

Story idea was good, but it lacked feeling…… to me it was written like a report. But what do I know, I can’t write. Thanks for writing….

This just seemed at points … exaggerated. The Dad was instantly angry and insisted she was nothing but a dishonest slut. He wasn’t going to talk to her, he wasn’t … until he did. There was no possibility of forgiveness … until he heard her story and was completely on her side. He was going after the brother for not telling him … abut didn’t. I realize that people in traumatic situations have emotions that are all over the place, but when an author overdoes “I’ll never talk to her again,” it seems unreal when he then talks. People who make overdramatic “I’ll never” statements are ultimately weak; you can’t count on what they say. Is that the way you intend to write your main character? If you’re going to have an eventual reconciliation, tone down the insistences that the marriage is irretrievably over. Let him be angry, let him be hurt, let him be confused, let his emotions be all over the place, but give him enough doubt or continued feelings for her that his change of heart is seems believable and doesn’t make him a wimp.

Saw that coming but the conclusion was awesome! Poe would be proud of you

Check the other kids....

Monag,

Sorry brother. Glad he’s paying

Bham,

No idea what you mean

Should have buried the asshole alive

And what stopped her from taking plan B exactly?

There'd have to be some incredibly compelling reason for why the wife tricked him into raising a bastard, when a "morning after" pill would have solved this problem.

Way too many holes in her story. Where's the police report? WHERE WAS THE SISTER? Where's the grave? I smell bullshit.

The rape explains some things but not why she kept the kid and didn't ever tell her husband.

Nope. Ruined it with everyone keeping it a secret from him. I quit reading when he hugged his brother instead of breaking his jaw. Get a grip.

What if the older brother is the biological father of the other two children? A very big secret was kept for too long by all his close circle of the unfortunate hubby... Out of good intentions? Yes, of course...

Just an average story - too many plot holes.

@ JustOneMansOpinion

"You could say that Tom should have told the brother and didn't because it was Tom that raped her and it was a smoke screen story, but if that was the case the brothers would produce a child with the same blood type."

Nope, genetics doesn't work that way. Learned that in high-school biology 60 years ago.

If a paragraph doesn’t begin with a quotation mark, that indicates it’s narrative. This is not open for debate. That's part of how English works.

.

When one character is speaking and is not uninterrupted by narrative or another character talking, every paragraph starts with a mark, but only the last one has a closing mark.

So, she goes drinking when her husband is away. Dancing with other men. Refuses to report the “rape”.

I don’t believe it. I think that she had a threesome with the brother and his wife, and the “rape” story is just to cover it up!

ZK

@JustOneMansOpinion

"brothers would produce a child with the same blood type"

Actually no. I hated learning about blood types in school and had to go look this one up but siblings can have different blood types as long as it follows the blood type rules.

Even though it didn't say what the fathers blood type was the only way to get A is from a parent with A or AB if the other is either B or O.

Working backwards there's plenty of combinations for the brothers parents to yield offspring with either A, B, AB, or O.

Yeah it's a good thing they figured all that crap out when they did because they never would have after smartphones came around to destroy our attention spans.

Also in the Toms the dad theory, it doesn't need to be rape. It could have been consensual. A drunken "mistake".

this should be in the non-erotic category

Plan B pill? morning after pill?

The story had some good points, but has a couple HUGE holes. According to the story, brother did not disclose the rape out of fear his sibling would kill the rapist and go to prison. So, the husband can't kill the rapist b/c he will go to prison, but the brother does it w/ no problem? Okay, we could let that slide w/ the logic that the husband would not be as careful due to his emotional state. HOWEVER, once the rapist is dead, why isn't the secret shared w/ the husband? A rationale no longer exists for hiding such a huge secret. That pretty much ruined the story for me.

He made the right choice in coming back to his family!

4

Strong stuff... I would also ask why a Plan B pill wasn't used after the rape just to be sure, although unsaid was whether they had had sex just before he left for Reserve duty, and that was why she thought/hoped it was his...

...but taking Plan B could have absolutely removed the chance of it being the rapist's child.

The end comments talk about their grandchildren later and their rebuilt love and trust but a narrative of what happened when they told their son might have been another completion to the tale...

Some commenters in LW would call St. Joseph a cuck. That is proof positive that this site, specifically this area, serves a de facto mental health function by keeping some of the commenters otherwise occupied and off the street.

-

During the scene with the SIL, we get multiple repeated/rehashed points from the husband. Trust your readers to glam onto that factoid the first time around. Find someone to read over your work--not just a rubber stamp-- and/or find an editor.

-

You write well. Your storytelling is solid, and the originality of this piece showcases your skill. Don't fall into the trap of writing for the baying BTB jackals. Rated: Five.

2 stars. Wifey doesn't tell husband about the "rape" until forced to, which's after he leaves for a night or so. Should've been longer. I'd imagine most if all women who're raped would tell their husbands about the same time they're telling the police.

Mandy says she went out drinking a bit. How did she end up in his car? Her sister evidently knew about everything, called Rick to talk, but only said to speak to Mandy. It seems Rick's brother also knew about the "rape" & dealt with it. But did he?

Seems like it's a good cover story for Mandy cheating with the brother & her sister, gets pregnant accidently, Or she cheated with a friend, then they came up with the rape story. They've all kept the secret much toooo long for a thought otherwise. Rick should get a DNA test on his other kids. IF Mandy did cheat anywhere along the way, Rick's got a right to question about his other two kids. And if they AREN'T the proper blood type... an interesting part 2.

Folks, if either parent is AB, it's possible for one child to be A and the other B. Tom could totally be Tommy's father. I guess it was Mandy the one who chose his name.

Good story!

Too many holes, most of which have already been mentioned by others. I guess the biggest one is the fact that the brother didn't reveal the wife's secret because he didn't want hubby to be charged with murder, although he knew the rapist was already dead.

Around half way through I guessed the reason for different blood groups was either rape or some mix up in the maternity ward, I think the author tried too hard with the cheating red herring. The husband jumping immediately to the conclusion that she cheated took a lot of credibility out of the plot. It's usually a staple in blow hard BTB tales, here it just lost a lot of sympathy for the husband.

Not a bad effort, and everybody ended up happy. Perhaps could have done with a little more thought.

Very good story!!! Well done!!

@anonymous four before me - she reported the rape, there was a rape kit. The police didn't find/look for the guy.

I don’t agree with most of the comments. I really enjoyed the story, especially the actions of Tom.

Sure, show me the paperwork.

Violent, but interesting, story with closure

Of course, what is the brother's blood type?

Oatmeal1969 has it correct. The lesson in blood type is cool too, but too cool to get in the way of a yarn. Joebetterbnice also has a very good point or two.

Now for me the grammar nazi, get the tenses correct at least! I can deal with spelling 'f' ups but hells bells do not jump tenses please, pretty please. Choose one and stick with it. ps; a dictionary is a great tool for writers and want to be writers and a small volume of grammar will not go astray either.

STILL thanks for your offering and btw that was not all that dark. Nice try.

Think about this. 1) the kid shares the same name with the brother. 2) wife said they did a rape kit but nothing was found. However the brother claimed to have easily talked the bar owner into seeing the cctv video and was able to make out the guys license plate, make and model of his car. This is the bare minimum of what police would have done. 3) She kept the kid and shows no emotional distress towards the kid. The kid is a product of rape and not unusual for women to have trouble bonding with children from rape. 4) Only the Husband requires any counseling while no such period of emotional distress was noticed coming from her at any time. It's so bad the husband can't even have sex for a few months, surely this would have been noticed by the husband 8 years ago had she been sex shy after a sexual assault. If this was bad for him it would be 1000 times worse for her. But not only is she DTF but she's down for stuff she considered "dirty" before. That just doesn't add up.

The kid sharing the name with the uncle is too on the nose for it to be coincidence. His brother never told him because he didn't want him to go to prison but still wouldn't tell him even after the guy was allegedly put down? And his brother played dumb and gave him a good divorce lawyer and then a day later confesses everything? This story just makes me feel gross because it's a little too obvious what's going on. And what's worse is that this has caused real emotional trauma to the guy if it took him months to be able to have sex again and needed to see a professional.

"st. Joseph"

@anon, kekw! You're here too!

What a blowhard.

Anon, these jackals as you called it are questioning the holes in the story.

If any criticism or questioning get 'rewarded with a negative label, why bother posting your work to public?

-Anon9865

Do you want a spouse who decide such important issue with other people but not for you?

What else they decide for you without consulting with you first?

very good story but why no morning after pill, or abortion. keeping it quiet was the worst thing you could do. the brothers actions are over the top even if justified. she was really protecting her husband from killing. it just doesn't ad up. the police would have put him in jail and the video would have convicted him. at least 25 years with a good judge.

Sounds like small town life!

Great story! I don't know why it's rated so low. It's very human and relatable and emotional. Loved it. Thanks!

She may have been raped by a stranger, but her husband was stabbed in the back by a person (actually multiple people) he thought he could trust. She may not have been a willing partner in the actual sex, but she was still a cheating bitch afterwards.

Of course, if you look at the actual facts of the story, you have to wonder how unwilling she was, out hitting the bars while her husband was out of town and then happily carrying, birthing, and raising her rapist's child. In fact, he should probably have the other two DNA tested to be safe.

"She got raped, Tom and I wasn't here for her."

Of course you weren't there for her. She kept it a secret so that you could never be there for her. It was her choice, not yours.

Lol I'm so jaded. It was pointed out from a commit why was she in a bar why not a restaurant or a park or something anything other than a bar. Nope sorry not buying it

Dark?

I found it quite delightful and satisfying for a change.

Why analyze or criticize something that confirms how things really should be?

For the rest of you, how's that Bud tasting?

Awful inconsistent tale that seems written from a female POV, so too much one-sided and unbelievable behaviours.

Nope. I would be pissed she was out drinking and got in that situation. How did she get outside alone with that guy? Why didn't she say anything. Protect her husband? Bull shit. And Tommy would have said he handled it so husband is safe. I would have my kids all DNA tested and tell the wife I don't believe her and trust her. I would ask she produce the cop report of the rape.

Surely finding out she was pregnant, after being raped while her huaband was away (and therefore unable to actually be the father) should have rung some alarm bells? I'm not going to deny she was raped, or go down the whole "she was in a bar, clearly she went looking" that other commentators have been bringing up, but surely she should have known her husband couldn't have been the father? Or at least suspected? In-vitro DNA tests are a thing. Why not take the test to be sure and then take care of it? She was in a impossible situation, but she should have either told her husband so they could have decide what to do together, or if she really didnt want him to know shed been raped, got a DNA test done and gotten an abortion. Instead, she kept the proof of the thing she didnt want her husband to find out, and forced herself to raise a living reminder of what was undoubtedly the worst thing that ever happened to her.

Enough plot holes you could drive a semi through.

so did she go to the cops? Why not take a plan b?

She lied and held it back an iso did the brother and the wife. I would still support the kids as they are innocent but they would be gone from my life. Every time I see the kid I would think of what they withheld from me.

No way to live and that sucks.

Ok ignoring the plot holes im a little torn with this honestly on 1 hand she kept a huge secret from her husband as well as did his brother and sister in laws for 8 years i don't see how she could have possibly thought that the child was his when he was away on the other hand she didn't cheat she was raped so its tough can't really say she lied as she never said anything however she kept it a secret something like that she should have said something to him idmidetly so in away the trust has been damaged im not sure what a man would do in that situation its all up for grabs i guess normally I would just say what most men would do at least most that i know of and with that being said I don't know of anyone that has been in this exact situation i know i haven't i would like to say i think i could have been understanding and forgiven but I don't know if I would have been taking it out on the kid would never be in question for its not the kids fault that his mom was raped by 1 of the lowest scums on earth killing the man when the husband found out well that is easy any real man would have at least wanted to some like the brother in this story would have

I don't know where to start, so I won't. This plot has more holes than a block of Swiss cheese. She didn't go to police after rape and her sister in law suffered the same fare with the same guy later. Must have been dark in that bar for her not to recognize him. And finally, why did both women leave the bar with someone other than their sister?

Krazicat99: Connie (the second person raped) was the sister-in-law. Beth (her sister) went to the bar with her. You can argue that she should have gone to the police and told her husband, but Connie could not have recognized him.

So she didn't take a morning after pill, or consider an abortion? She still cucked her husband. Lowlife.

Poor guy

Great writing 5&FAV and Follow

I must be feeling benevóent today. I find no. Fault with this story and the last one I read. Five stars. If you have a story for my read, now would be an advantageous time.

JPB