Choices

*****

GINA

I sat in Bill and Lisa's backyard for our first get-together since, well, since everything changed. I had been upset to hear that Henry wasn't coming this week and maybe never again. I really thought that if the 3 of us could sit down we could work this out so that we could at least stay friends. I mean, If Marcie, John and I could do it back then I was sure that John, Henry, and I could do it now.

When Andrea, Lisa and I had talked the other night they seemed like they understood where I was coming from. I couldn't help how things had turned out. I was supposed to be married to John 20 years ago but it didn't happen; should I be blamed for trying to right that wrong now? Should it cost me my marriage? It didn't seem fair.

Things felt awkward tonight. Of course, it had been years since the others had seen John and I hold hands and act intimately with each other. I supposed it would take some getting used to for everyone, though getting together with John had, for me, been seamlessly smooth. That as much as anything told me that this was right.

*****

HENRY

I eventually moved into an apartment and kept the storage unit for the Malibu. It made it more inconvenient to work on but I considered this to be only temporary. I made some effort to develop a social life but it proved to be more difficult than I expected. I didn't really work in an office. My living was made on job sites where I was the supervisor to a bunch of younger guys, none of whom seemed much interested in spending time with the boss outside of work. Not to mention that we typically were done around 3:30 in the afternoon, so they didn't tend to go right out. They'd go home and clean up and go out later, so there was really no 'stopping after work for drinks'.

Finally I decided to just go out for an evening by myself. Maybe I'd meet someone, and I didn't necessarily mean a woman. I wasn't actually looking for a relationship; I just wanted to make some new friends that I could hang out with. I tried a couple places that Gina and I had been to before, thinking that I'd be comfortable there and maybe see someone familiar. They were clubs with dancing, but the problem was that I was simply not that outgoing, at least like that. And I was suffering some self-doubt, thanks to Gina.

The seminal moment came about 6 months after the divorce was final. John and Gina had bought out my equity in the house and taken out their own loan to refinance it. It kind of irked me that they were living in it; I didn't like the idea of John living in my house. I wanted to sell it and have them buy something else, but Gina loved that house (more than me, apparently; she actually wanted to keep the house) so I reluctantly agreed to them buying me out.

I was at one of our old haunts and having a decent time. Trying to get out of my comfort zone, I had bought drinks for a few ladies and been rewarded with a few dances but nothing serious was happening; it was just fun.

And then they walked in; Gina and John in all their glory. No one else seemed to care, but when I saw them come in the door the entire mood was completely ruined for me. Gina looked great, as she usually did, and my heart sunk into my stomach. I was pissed that she still held this kind of sway over me and my feelings. And I really resented that they looked happy while I continued to struggle.

I hadn't seen her since the final divorce hearing, nor talked to her, other than about stuff related to the divorce, since that day I retrieved the Malibu. All of our communication at this point was by email or text message, and that was mostly about Natalie.

I really didn't want to speak to her so I retreated to the back of the club, thinking they'd eventually move away from the door and I could then make my way out unseen. But of course they took a table right near the door. And so I camped out in a rear corner, keeping my eyes open for the opportunity to get out of there.

They ordered some drinks and then I watched as John excused himself, presumably to the bathroom. He glanced casually around the club as he did and looked in my direction, but there was no eye contact and I felt confident he hadn't seen me. But with Gina still at the table I was stuck where I was.

But as soon as John returned to the table he whispered in her ear, then they both turned to look in my direction, and soon Gina was winding through the crowd to find me. I began moving toward the back of the club but soon I hit a dead end and she had never lost track of me, and soon we were face to face.

"Why are you running from me, Henry?"

"Because I don't want to talk to you; I would think that should be obvious."

"I just wanted to say hello and ask how you were doing. We were married for over 20 years. Are we not even friends anymore?"

"No Gina, we're not. We're ex-spouses joined by having a child together. That's all. If you had just stopped loving me and decided you wanted your freedom, then maybe. At least I could have respected a change in feelings and how you handled it. But the way you did it, proclaiming your love for me even as you tried to convince me to share you and then choosing a friend of mine over me. No, those actions meant we will never be anything but people that used to be married. Besides, what do you care? You have the guy and the life you wanted, and still have your friends. I may as well have died like Marcie for all it affected you."

"That's not true. Despite what you apparently think, Henry, I still love you, still have feelings for you. I'd still be willing to split my time between you, though I know that's a non-starter for you. You mean a lot to me, Henry, and it hurts me that things are the way they are. Is there any chance we might one day be friends?"

"Well, is there any chance history will change and you will never have dumped me for John? That's the answer to your question as well. All I did was love you the best I could for over 20 years and it meant nothing to you as soon as you had the chance to be with John. Now if you'll excuse me, I suddenly don't care for the atmosphere in this place."

I walked quickly out of the building before my true feelings gave me away. John tried to say something to me but the glare on my face made him think better of it. I did still love her, though I had spoken the truth about our being friends. I didn't consider us friends, and the fact that none of the others had contacted me or invited me to spend time with them without Gina and John suggested we were no longer friends either. They didn't even respond to any of the messages or emails I had left for them, lest you think I was just waiting for them to make the first move. Perhaps it seemed too awkward or uncomfortable for them, or perhaps I truly had only been accepted while I was with Gina, and once that ended I was on the outs.

Whatever the reason, that night I realized that as long as I stayed in this same area I would never move forward. Every place I went I had chosen because I was comfortable and I had good memories because Gina and I had been there before, and I was trying to build on that memory. But in fact it was holding me back. It was time to cut ties completely and start a new life on my own. Nothing as drastic as moving to a new state or anything; after all, Natalie was still nearby at the university and I wanted to be close to her, but I could manage that and still be in a completely different part of town than Gina and John.

*****

GINA

I was really hurt after speaking with Henry. In my mind we were at least still friends. When we had seen him in the club I only went over to say hello and ask how he was doing. That was all. But he saw me coming and suddenly turned tail and tried to get away from me. Was he 6 years old all of a sudden, and was I a girl with cooties?

But he had struck a blow by letting me know he didn't even consider us friends. That really hurt. I had hoped that we could have a good post-divorce relationship. I hadn't lied: I did still love him and even now if he came back I would have gone back to the time sharing plan. The ratios would be different, of course, since John and I had married, but I was still interested. Henry, of course, was not.

I went back to John after Henry had left the club (and I actually thought Henry might take a swing at John on the way out, but he didn't) and my interest in being out had taken a severe hit. It took several dances and more than a few drinks to get me back in the mood again.

*****

HENRY

I began my housing search in an area that I had done a few jobs in and liked when I had been there. It was about 30 minutes from the neighborhood where my former house (now occupied by Gina and John) was, which seemed like a good buffer zone. The university was still a good 90 minutes away, which was close enough but far enough, if you know what I mean.

I looked at a few houses before finding one that finally spoke to me. It was a little smaller than my old 4-bedroom house, and in fact it reminded me of the first house Gina and I had moved into, though that was a rental. It had 3-bedrooms and 2 bathrooms, including a master bathroom. There was a good-sized back yard, and I thought that perhaps a pool would make a nice addition. I set up one of the other rooms as a bedroom, which Nat could use when she visited or could be used by other guests. The third bedroom was set as an office and also had a small foldout sofa in case I actually had 2 guests at one time.

The house was located on a small cul-de-sac in an older but well-kept neighborhood. My research suggested the Homeowner's Association was relatively laid back compared to others I had heard of, so I made an offer and closed about 45 days later.

The neighborhood was very quiet and I was afraid my move would disrupt it, though there was really no way around it. So I picked up several packages of muffins and left one at each door on the street along with a note explaining when I would be moving in and apologizing for any disruption.

Having apparently lost my friends in the divorce, I had expected the movers and me to do all of the work. But to my surprise several of my new neighbors joined me as soon as the truck pulled up. I didn't actually have a whole lot of stuff, but in a stroke of good luck the truck from the furniture store showed up as well. I had a bunch of pizzas delivered and before the afternoon was out not only was the truck emptied but the boxes were unpacked and everything put away. I was going to like it here, I decided.

That night was also my first neighborhood poker game. Everyone else on the street had been there for at least a few years and they were all good friends, and they played most every week. In fact, the only reason my house had hit the market was because Travis and Rachel, the couple that I had purchased the house from, were getting a divorce due to Travis' infidelity. The guys say they knew nothing about it and would have told Rachel if they did. He was the old cliché: he was screwing his secretary and he decided to leave his wife for her when he got her pregnant. Rachel had moved back home to Georgia and Travis had moved to another part of town after being given the cold shoulder by everyone.

Normally the games were on Wednesday nights but we had an impromptu game tonight in honor of 'the new guy'. The guys would play cards while the wives did whatever (they had a rotating schedule: they might play scrabble one week, then have a book club meeting the next, that kind of thing). Part of me felt bad for not having a wife to contribute to the female side of things, but obviously it couldn't be helped.

"So what do you do, Henry?" asked Rick, a shorter but powerfully built guy. I swear his muscles had muscles.

"Well, right now I'm working as a project manager for an electrical contractor, but I'm also a licensed electrician, plumber, and general contractor."

Ed chipped in. "Hey, we can definitely use someone like that around here." The rest of the guys nodded in agreement.

"How do you mean?" I asked.

"We have a, well, I guess you would call it a barter system here on the street," Bart explained. "Ed there is a financial planner, so he manages our investment accounts. I work as a regional supervisor for H&R Block so I handle everyone's tax returns. Rick owns a couple of health clubs and is a personal trainer so he gives us free memberships and helps us keep in good shape. And Rob is the general manager over at the arena so he gets us tickets to shows and sporting events when he can. We each provide our labor for free, leaving the recipient responsible only for any actual charges. Filing fees, surcharges, that kind of thing. If you want to be part of this, I'd guess you could do small home repairs for us. We're not talking remodeling or anything like that, but a leaky faucet or a bad switch; stuff like that. Interested?"

"Absolutely," I responded. "What about the other 2 houses on the street?"

"The house on the other corner is the Monroe's," said Ed. "They're an older couple. He's retired Navy but he's got pretty bad arthritis. Actually, they could probably use your help more than anyone. We include them in our group, but mostly for Miss Ruth's cooking and baking than anything else. They usually host a neighborhood dinner about once a month. Eventually you'll probably meet their daughter, the Ice Queen."

"The Ice Queen? What does that mean?"

"You'll see. Trust me."

"The other folks are the Walkers." Rob finally joined in. "They've lived there about 5 years and don't really socialize, at least not with us. You might catch a wave as they're driving by but that's about it. They're also older."

We played a few hands of cards and then I asked my next question.

"So, is there anything I need to know about any of you guys?"

"Like what?" Bart asked.

"Oh, the usual stuff: Are any of you Satanists, or believe in human sacrifice, or have a particular aversion to top-40 music? That kind of thing."

"Nothing strange like that," said Rick. "But if we think of anything we'll let you know during the monthly orgy."

That got a response from one of the wives in the other room, though I didn't know which one.

"Ha! You only wish!"

It was a really fun night, and I believed I had found those friends I had been looking for.

*****

NATALIE

I was still pretty pissed at my mom, but I was glad that dad had moved on with his life. I actually think he may have considered mom's arrangement...for about 2 nanoseconds.

I spoke to dad at least once a week and usually more than that. We had always been very close, and it seemed like this was bringing us even closer. I planned to visit his new place but wanted to let him get settled first. I had also met a guy named Michael so I was spending a lot of time with him as well.

Mom tried to call me often but I usually didn't feel like talking to her so I'd let it got to voice mail. And when I did pick up it usually degenerated into yelling and name-calling and made me less likely to pick it up the next time she called.

Basically she wanted my blessing or whatever for what she had done, and to accept her marriage to my former Uncle John. I told her right now that wasn't going to happen. Maybe one day, but as far as I was concerned he didn't exist, and if she wanted to spend time with me it would be without him. She was my mother and I was willing to make time for her, but I owed him no obligation. If he had kept his mouth shut my parents would still be married.

*****

HENRY

I spent the next week working my butt off during the day and getting settled into the house at night. I ended up moving a few things around in the kitchen to make things move smoother, but otherwise the initial unpacking was very well done.

The next Saturday morning I went 2 doors down to introduce myself to the Monroe's. I knocked softly on the door and soon the door was opened and the people I presumed to be Mr. and Mrs. Monroe both opened the door.

"Yes?" spoke the woman.

"Good morning. My name is Henry Weston. I just moved in 2 doors down and wanted to introduce myself."

"Oh, come in, come in. We saw the truck and all sorts of activity down there. How nice of you to stop by. Please have a seat."

We spent a few minutes chatting. Richard served for 30 years in the navy starting right out of high school before health problems forced him into retirement. They were married during his initial enlistment and were approaching their 45^th wedding anniversary. They had become parents in their 30's. They had a single daughter and her name was Taylor. They showed me her pictures up on the wall.

She had long straight black hair, and I told them the honest truth.

"She's beautiful. Do you see her much?"

"Several times a month, actually. She teaches and coaches volleyball over at the high school. She comes by quite often. And she's single...are you a single man, Mr. Weston?"

I smiled at her obvious attempt at matchmaking.

"Yes, well, divorced about a year now."

That seemed to please her. I finally offered my services under the neighborhood bartering agreement (for lack of a better term) and they showed me a few things around the house that had slipped into disrepair. There was, in fact, a leaking faucet in the bathroom and several chips in the walls. There was nothing major on the inside but they had several problems on the outside, with some siding coming off, bricks that were broken, and some other things that were the normal signs of some years of neglect. Again, nothing I couldn't handle but it would take some time.

I grabbed some tools and went to work on the leaky faucet. That actually led to my finding some other problems within the pipes and the vanity, and I soon had the water shut off and the entire thing disassembled.

It was in the middle of this that I first caught sight of their daughter as she happened to come by for a visit. She came around the corner and saw me working on her parent's bathroom.

"Who the hell are you?" she asked, and the tone in her voice was even less friendly than her words.

"Uh, my name is Henry. I..."

"Make sure you clean up after yourself. And I expect to see an itemized bill to make sure you're not ripping off a couple of elderly people. Got it?"

The vitriol in her tone shocked me into silence, and all I could do was nod. As she walked away I went back to work; Ice Queen, indeed. But despite that, I still took stock of her visually. The pictures had not lied: she was quite beautiful. Her black hair hung straight down and cascaded over her shoulders. She was clearly in good shape, with a body type that I can best describe as 'thick', which is a body style that I happen to really like. Thin may be in but it doesn't do much for me. Gina, in fact, was built much the same way.

I could hear her in the distance talking to her parents.

"Mom, dad, I've told you not to hire people for repairs without checking with me. You guys are ripe for being taken advantage of. He's got the whole damn bathroom torn apart for a leaky faucet. Has he even told you what he's doing?"

"It's all right, dear," Miss Ruth said. "We didn't hire him. He's our new neighbor. He moved into the Olson's old house. He's only charging for materials."

"Oh, like he can't overcharge you for those. Don't pay him until I have a chance to look everything over. He'll probably break something on purpose just so he can get you again."

At that point they moved out of earshot. I returned to work and about an hour later Miss Ruth came into see me.

"I'm very sorry about how Taylor behaved."

"It's all right, ma'am. She was just looking out for you."