Christmas Chickadee

I had received many small gifts and flowers—gifts of an ephemeral kind, meant to show affection or interest. But nothing as substantial as this. A gift meant to be kept long-term for my continued use and pleasure. I looked at my mother, still unsure of how I felt.

"Mom, I hardly know him."

"Maybe you should get to know him better," as she smiled and walked away.

Was that the message? That I should get to know him better? He had to know I already found him attractive or I wouldn't have gone to dinner or birding with him. It just didn't make sense to me. I didn't want to demean myself, but he could continue to enjoy my company for a lot less than the price he paid for this necklace. Based upon how I felt about him, much less.

His personality was wonderful, he was certainly kind and generous, not to mention forgiving. He definitely turned me on and it wasn't like I didn't already have desire for him. His smile came back to me, his words echoed in my mind—he wanted me to think of him while we were apart. I was thinking of him. Damn if it wasn't working! When everything was said and done, I really liked the gift. Though I knew I liked him even without the gift, he had gotten my attention in a way I never expected.

We talked until eleven and it was time for bed. When I woke in the morning I helped prepare breakfast and visited until after lunch, then left for my apartment arriving two and a half hours later. It had been a wonderful Christmas with my family.

While driving home I thought about New Year's Eve. It was just around the corner and I was beginning to think about what I would like to do. In the past, I had often gone to a party to ring in the New Year with a date. Most of the time I was so tired by twelve I wasn't much into it. I simply wasn't a party girl, or at least, not a late night party gal.

For the past two years I had pretty much stayed home watching TV and going to bed when I was ready—a total party pooper. The next day I would watch TV and relax in my pajamas and then join friends in the afternoon to watch football or just hang out. The last two boyfriends had always gone home for the entire time between Christmas and New Years, so there was never someone to snuggle with and keep me warm when it was cold outside. The thought of having someone to snuggle with had become a fantasy in and of itself lately.

I took my Christmas gifts inside and placed them near my little ceramic Christmas tree, my new necklace went into my bedroom onto my dresser top. As I looked at it I wondered what Andy was doing. I hoped he was wondering the same about me. It still seemed somewhat surreal, like my life was somehow twisted, distorted.

I unpacked and settled in to relax. I walked to the bookcase, pulled my book out, and opened it to the book marked page and started to read. Two hours later I put the book down realizing I was getting hungry. I got up and noticed the wind had picked up and snow was swirling around. I wondered if Andy was going to have to spend another day at his brother's house to avoid having to drive in poor weather.

I realized I was anxious to thank him for the beautiful gift. It was still hard to believe he would have spent that much on a gift for a woman he had spent so little time with. I couldn't believe I had made that much of a positive impression on him. I promised myself I would do better if given the chance. It was the next day about ten o'clock when the phone rang. I was just at the juicy part of the second novel where they were about to share their first kiss and probably more. I placed the book down with a frown.

"Hello, Dana speaking."

"Dana, Andy. You made it home before the storm I guess. It slowed me up and I decided to spend a night in a motel rather than keep driving. There were cars in the ditches on both sides of the road and after some guy spun out in front of me I decided not to chance it."

"Andy, I'm glad you did. It was nasty here and I just stayed inside all day. Where are you?"

"I'm at the office. I decided I should get down to the work I have left to finish. No one else is here so I'm making good progress. You came to mind so I thought I would give you a call."

"Andy, I want to thank you so much for the Christmas gift. It's beautiful. I can't wait to show it off. But you know you went way overboard getting me something so expensive."

"Dana, it wasn't that much. I can explain later. That is if you're available to have supper with me tonight."

"I would love to. Do you want to pick me up or shall I meet you somewhere?" My heart beat out a happy tune.

It was interesting. He never assumed I didn't have other plans. It was as if he expected I would always be busy. Maybe even with another man.

"I'll pick you up and we can decide on where to go. I expect we'll want to go someplace casual this time."

"Yes. That sounds good to me. No separate checks this time though, I would prefer to pay for the both of us."

"Okay. Your choice. But I'm still trying to make a good impression on you."

"I'm impressed enough with you already. You don't need to do more. I'm a big girl now and I can afford it."

"Okay. I understand. How does five sound?"

"Wonderful. See you then."

I hung the phone up excited as I could be. I was so looking forward to seeing him again—my surreal world had become a little more real. At least he respected me enough to let me pay for both of us this time. Now, would that gold necklace look too flashy dressing casually? I walked into the bedroom and tried on several blouses. Each time I put one with the necklace it looked...well...pretentious. I finally picked out the blouse with the most frills and was satisfied with how it looked. I paired it with a pair of newer jeans, and my half calf boots. I wanted to show him how much I liked the gift. Though the naughty part of me thought perhaps wearing only the necklace and a pair of panties would prove the point better. But that would be like flinging myself at him. Better not to do that.

I sat down and started to read the chapter of my book over again, having lost my place. As I continued reading my pelvis warmed and I squirmed as I read the really hot, juicy parts. I closed my eyes and could see Andy doing those same things to me. That would be passionate and heavenly. The clock showed it was almost time for him to arrive. I got my coat with the fringed parka out, a pair of gloves, and a pull down knit hat. I was ready.

I looked out the window and watched large snowflakes drift down below the lights in the parking lot. I was just starting to let the curtain fall back into place when I saw a set of headlights pull into the parking lot heading in my direction. It was Andy right on time! I put on my coat and hat, opened the door, stepping out onto the steps just as Andy approached. I saw his wonderful smile.

"Hey! I like a punctual man!"

"And I like an appreciative woman."

The snowflakes drifted down around us, settling gently on his wide brimmed felt hat. It made him look...well...mature, and cultured with his nicely trimmed beard and mustache. He always seemed to look so damned handsome. Then, without warning he scooped me up in his arms. I gave a little squeal of surprise and laughed as I looked into his eyes.

"I'm not taking any chances with you in this snow. If we fall down, we go together," he laughed.

It was one of the most romantic things he could have done with me at that time and place. I felt his strong arms under my legs and my back as he walked down the sidewalk with me while I laughed with delight. I was exhilarated as he sat me down gently onto the ground next to the car, opened the door, and waited for me to be seated before closing it. There was no doubt he had missed me.

We reached agreement on a restaurant and as we drove through the snow we talked about our families and what we had gotten as gifts. We arrived and was seated promptly at a table overlooking the river. The lighting was muted and the small number of people in the dining area made for a rather intimate setting. He helped me off with my coat and I placed it on the bench seat next to me along with my hat and purse. We ordered our food and talked quietly. I felt special as his eyes surveyed me. Looking into his eyes I saw a softness, a tenderness that whittled away at any anxiety I might have been feeling. His eyes went down to my chest and a smile slowly grew on his face.

"The necklace looks stunning on you Dana. I'm glad I decided to give it to you as a gift. It suits your beauty as I thought it would."

I blushed a little, he said it so matter-of-factly, so sincerely, as if it wouldn't affect me in any tangible way. If that was what he thought he was so wrong. How many men had I dated that had made similar comments and I knew they were made only to entice me to greater intimacy—a means to an end. I looked at him with a smile.

"Andy, thank you. But you know I think it's too extravagant a gift. But I wouldn't trade it for anything else anyone has ever given me."

"Dana, I've had that necklace for almost two years. There was no additional cost attached to it to give it to you as a gift. The emotional price I've paid for it was what cost me most."

His eyes showed a touch of sadness and pain. I was still dissecting his words as he continued, "I wanted to give it to you because you are the kind of woman who deserves it. I hope that doesn't sound glib. But you give me something wonderful to look forward to each time I see you. No one else does that."

I reached for his hand and caressed it gently, "Andy, thank you. That's one of the kindest things anyone has ever said to me."

He didn't reply—the look he gave me said all I needed to know.

Our food arrived and our conversation lightened. I was curious as to what the story was behind the necklace and the woman he may have given it to, or had intended to give it to. I knew it would be indelicate to pursue. Some explanations need to be offered, not asked for, and this was one of those times. He knew I was wearing it because I was special in his eyes. I decided the reason didn't matter, only the knowledge it did was of consequence.

We lingered long over dinner, then much to our mutual surprise we decided to order dessert. I quietly picked up the check and paid it. We left the restaurant after almost two hours, walking out into the gently falling snow. As we stepped out onto the sidewalk I looked at him and then clutched his arm.

"Don't you even dare think about picking me up and carrying me!" I laughed.

He looked at me with twinkles in his eyes. "I can't. You're holding my arm so tightly it's going numb."

We reached the car and I got in without incident. I was fearful I would slip, but didn't. It was funny as I thought about it. I was trying to avoid the kinds of things that had brought us together in the first place. It wasn't all that long ago, but it seemed as if it had been years. We were comfortable together. I couldn't deny the feeling. We arrived at my apartment just after eight and he walked me to my door. We stepped in together. He looked at me as I started to remove my coat and hat.

"Dana, I'm hosting a New Year's Eve party at my home. Would you be interested in helping me get ready for it? It will be small, a few close friends and my two partners in the firm and their wives."

"I'd love to. But you should know I tend to grow pretty quiet after about ten thirty. I don't often stay up that late. I'm more of a morning person."

"Good. Then we can struggle through it together. How about I pick you up at eleven AM? We can have lunch at my house and then start getting things around?"

"Okay. So how shall I dress? Casual or a little classier?"

He smiled. "Just about the same as you are now, only dress slacks or a dress. You always display a touch of class in the way you dress, so you don't have to do anything special."

I was amazed. He never seemed to recognize when he gave a compliment that made my heart soar. I smiled my appreciation. Then he turned, putting his hand on the door knob.

"Dana, thank you for the wonderful evening and for picking up the check. Come to think of it—dress for going outside when I pick you up. I may as well show you around before we start getting ready for the party. You can change into your better clothes later."

I watched as he walked out to his car and left. I was disappointed. I was expecting a kiss goodbye this time. This was in essence our fourth date and no one had ever failed to give me one after three. I was confused. He gave me compliments, was respectful, and affectionate in so many small ways, but he had yet to give me a kiss. He was still a little distant.

Was I expecting too much based upon the men I had dated previously? I mean maybe he was just a little more careful in the way he approached women. Based upon how I had seen women approach him at his Christmas Party maybe he had no choice. After all, he was quite a catch by my standards and I'm sure other women saw him the same way. I just didn't fling myself at him as they had. Not that I wasn't now tempted. He definitely turned me on, the damp feeling of arousal had come to me while we had dinner.

I called my mother after a while, they were happy to have the house quiet again after the clamor of Christmas. Then, I called my sister and we talked for a few minutes before she asked me about Andy. I was surprised she remembered, I mean my mother hadn't even asked.

"We went out to dinner tonight and I paid the bill. He didn't seem to mind my showing my independence that way. You know, he's different from all the other men I've dated. He has invited me to help him prepare for a New Year's Eve party at his house tomorrow."

"He has a house. Not an apartment?"

"Yes. Why? What's the difference?"

"Dana, maybe there isn't a difference. But how many men have either of us dated as single that men owned a house rather than living in an apartment? It's just different. Most men move into a house when they're ready to settle down. Just a thought."

I considered her comment for a few seconds. She did make a good point. All of the men I had dated lived in an apartment. Even the men at work who were single lived in apartments, unless they were divorced and had kept the house.

"Sis, it's a good point. I don't know anything about his home. I just assumed it was a small place he could afford as he is one of the partners of his firm and likes his privacy."

"Dana, it's like I said. Probably not anything important. So, how are things going with him?"

"Good, I guess. He called me soon after he got back from his brother's home for Christmas and we went out last night. Then he asked me to help him with the party. He wants to spend time with me and I'm glad he does as we have a good time together. But he hasn't tried to kiss me yet."

"Maybe you just need to be a little patient. Not all men come on strong. I don't think confident men need to show off as much as other men do. I mean they already know how women respond to them. How many times have you been together?"

"Four or five times I guess."

"Dana, are you that taken with him? I mean you seem...well...determined I guess is a good word."

I paused before answering. I wasn't sure what I was. I wanted him to kiss me, to hold me close, and whisper into my ear what he wanted to do to me. Things I wouldn't want to hear from a man unless I knew he really cared for me. I guess I did know the answer.

"Yes, I think I am determined. I want him. I haven't felt like this about a man in a very, very, long time."

"Then don't' change. He obviously likes you just as you are. Dana, don't overthink this. Just be yourself. That's what he likes about you and sets you apart."

I hung up the phone ten minutes later. The talk had done me good. I knew now I was intent on making this relationship work, to build it. But, I did need more patience. I didn't think it was going to be easy for me to do it though. I felt I was ready for a permanent relationship and I couldn't help but think Andy was the man. Yet, he still seemed distant, cautious.

I slept well that night after my vibrator and I spent some quality time together. Andy was in my mind, I could see him, almost feel him—only the lack of a warm body, hot breath, and weight upon me detracted from the experience. I woke the next morning, stretched beneath the covers and knew that tomorrow night I would be up late ringing in a new year. I also had some planning to do after I showered and ate breakfast.

I went to the closet, pulled out my shoulder bag, and took out my field guide. I sat and looked over the distribution maps for a while. There were so many species I had yet to see and I studied the maps planning possible trips in my mind. I had a lot of unused vacation time and I had already been told I needed to use some or lose it. I was determined I wouldn't allow that to happen.

I decided I would take long weekend trips to make the best use of the time by taking a Thursday, Friday, and Monday off to give me a five day window. I could fly or drive two days and have three to explore wherever I elected to visit. That way, I could avoid the busiest travel times on the airlines and get good motel rates too. I had enough money saved that I would be able to make at least five or six trips without straining my budget. I spent a little time online looking at birding locations in several states and made up a short list. It was getting late by the time I finished.

It was December 30^th, tomorrow Andy would come to pick me up. I decided to see what I wanted to wear for the party. I often wore slacks for work, but decided I wanted to take advantage of my shapely legs and wear a skirt or dress. I settled on a high-waisted, fluted pencil skirt in dark gray. I picked a short-sleeved white V-necked blouse that showed just a hint of cleavage. The combination gave a clean look without ruffles or frills. It showcased my thin waist, behind, and hips. With my low heeled, black open-toed shoes the look would be complete. The V-necked blouse allowed me to showcase the new necklace Andy had given me. The look wasn't daring, but left no doubt this woman had good fashion sense and was proud of the work she put into keeping herself slim and trim. I put everything into a garment bag and hung it in the closet near the front door. I was ready well ahead of time.

I had just finished my thirty minute workout when the phone rang. I picked up on the fourth ring, wiping the sweat from my neck with a towel.

"Good afternoon, Dana speaking."

"Hi Dana, Andy. I hope you're having a good day."

"I am. I just finished my workout so I'm headed for the shower and then a short walk to find a few birds to get some fresh air. How about you? Are you at work?"

"Yes. I'll be working late. I have to review two reports one more time and make any revisions they need and then write a few emails to make sure things are in place for my arrival in California on the second. I want to make sure they know what time my flight will be in so they will have someone there to pick me up."

"So, you still plan on picking me up at eleven tomorrow?"

"Yes. I called to see if you would mind if we went food shopping after I picked you up, or if I should do it before. I probably should have done it today, but the food will be fresher if I buy it tomorrow."

"No, I don't mind helping with the shopping. I don't think I'll get bored helping you spend money." I said teasingly.

"I bet you won't!" He laughed.

"Okay. Get back to work. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Don't worry. I won't slack off, I have too much left to do. Dana, I look forward to seeing you tomorrow. Have a good day."

I heard the line go dead and put my phone down. It was so good to hear his voice. I headed to the bathroom with a smile. He made me feel so good. He didn't have to call me. He found an excuse to call me and I knew it. He missed me! As I stood in the shower the warm water relaxed me. It was then I realized I didn't have to fling myself at him- he was pursuing me. Slowly perhaps, but he was.