Christmas Cracker

"Eh?" Murty clearly hadn't been expecting that question, but he dutifully answered with a suitable degree of care after a moment's consideration. "It's the magic, sir. Haven't they told you? Mrs. Claus becomes a high elf."

"Yes, they told me that much. Elina said she wanted the position again. She wanted the power that came with it. I guessed a high elf is like a super-elf or something?"

"Sort of, sir. It's just that you can't really go backwards after you've ascended. Our souls expand. Our magic grows. That's what being a high elf allows, but once Santa dies then that's it. With his blessing gone it's back to being a regular old elf, and their body just can't handle it anymore. The power can't be managed. The soul can't be held. Eventually Elina will go into the long sleep, and then she'll be gone. You didn't know?"

"No. I didn't." Wendall sat there in stunned silence, staring at the varnished surface of the desk. Elina was a little bit snooty, sure. That didn't mean she deserved to die for it. She'd been perfectly loyal to him, and carried out any task he asked of her with a flawless degree of proficiency.

"Oh. I'm sorry sir, maybe this isn't such a good time then?"

"No, no. It's alright, Murty. If there's a problem you're having then I'd like to hear about it." He smiled comfortingly, although the expression was now tinged with a note of sadness.

"Are you sure?"

"For the love of tinsel, Murty. Just ho, ho, ho, have out with it already!"

"Right!" The elf jumped as if sitting to attention. "Sir, it's about the sex elves, sir."

"The sex elves? Fucking hell, now there's something I hope never makes it into an edited version of 'twas the night before Christmas. Right. Yes. I know of the sex elves. What's the problem? Are they all ok?"

"Yes, sir! Well, in a manner of speaking. It's just that we..." he paused to take a deep breath again before finally blurting it out. "We really miss the sex."

Wendall blinked several times before shaking his head and then clearing his throat. "I beg your pardon?"

"The sex, sir. The fucking. The licking. The sucking. The dancing. The upside down spanking. The-"

"Yes! Yes, ok I understand. Please don't elaborate any further." Wendall silenced him by raising a hand. "I'm sorry, but I'm not going to start that up again. I'd just feel horrendously awkward about the whole thing, and not wishing to sound cruel but I just find it kind of... tacky."

"Oh, yes! We largely agree, sir!" He nodded his head with vigour. "It was tacky bordering on completely disgusting. Not at all in the Christmas spirit! We wouldn't want to go back to that, sir. It's just that we've been ordered to go back to work as it was before and that means no sex at all. We didn't really know what we were missing back then, you see. Now? Well, not to be crass but I've had to tape my trouser-snake to my leg, and I've been walking around with a limp for the past few days if you catch my drift, sir."

"Oh. I see. I'm sorry. I didn't really know about that. Murty, elves can't have children can they?"

"No sir, not that I know of. Definitely not in that way. What's between our legs is strictly for decoration and recreational purposes."

"Right then, well as far as I'm concerned as long as you can find a consenting partner then feel free to do as you like in that department. I mean, we do have work to do here so keep it out of the workshops. What you do in your own time is your business. Same goes for the rest of the elves as well."

"Really?" Murty's ears wiggled with excitement, and no small degree of relief.

"Sure, as long as your work doesn't suffer then go nuts."

"Yes, sir! Understood, sir! Oh, thank you, sir!" He popped up to his feet and grabbed Wendall's hand before shaking it vigorously with a big grin on his face before he rushed off out the door, presumably to correct his limp.

The large man with the white beard left inside the room slowly shook his head and rolled his eyes toward the ceiling. Every muscle in his body felt a good deal more relaxed as soon as the horny elf had departed the room.

"This job is a lot weirder than the movies made it out to be."

* * * * *

Letting elven libidos run rampant turned out to be something of a problem in the long run. Many who had never had sex before discovered the sensation so agreeable that they immediately started making up for lost time. Loudly. They never shirked their other duties. None were late for work, and the quality of their products never faltered in the slightest. That didn't mean they didn't push it!

He'd pulled a group of five of them out of a freshly washed stable after they'd decided to spend their break time on a mid-morning mini-orgy. Two had been caught trying anal in a captain's office. Admittedly this was after work hours, but they'd thrown his papers quite out of order. He walked past two very slutty-looking female elven nurses making their way toward another captain's bedroom. Though by far the worst transgressor was the elf who accidentally produced an entire line of multicoloured dildos when she should have been making a series of cutting-edge cell phones. It was an absent-minded mistake that brought a whole new meaning to the phrase "just set it to vibrate."

Wendall set them straight, and ensured there were certain rules about going about the act so those little incidents were kept to a minimum. He couldn't exactly punish the offenders though, not without calling himself a staggering hypocrite. Every morning he was awoken either by the scent of freshly made coffee wafting into his room, or by a pair of elven lips wrapped around his cock making the journey from root to tip. Those lips belonged to Callie, of course. She'd become something of a professional sword-swallower after his physical transformation had added length and a little girth to what had already been quite an impressive gift from God.

Not that it had remotely deterred her from practicing that sword-swallowing routine whenever she could get her mouth on him for more than five minutes. They'd started sleeping together, and getting to know each other's naked bodies in as much detail as they could manage. Their nights were spent falling asleep after a prolonged 69 in which he enjoyed the flavour of her sweet, juicy pussy just as she savoured the taste of his cock.

Neither had mentioned anything more to the other about when they'd take the next step. It was rather obvious to the both of them. Christmas day would see all their work come to fruition, and they'd get some time off to be together at last. The excitement built, and as the last days ticked down to Christmas Eve the elves even seemed to forget about sex for a while to concentrate on their work.

Wendall himself had changed. It wasn't just his physical self that had shifted in those nights he spent there under the northern snows. He felt different. The outbursts of ho, ho, ho became less of a speech defect and more a natural part of his way of speaking. In growing comfortable in that new body, he felt the power of his new station flowing into him. He sensed its timelessness, and felt the lightning in his veins.

The magic could be willed into almost anything he desired. He knew he could call a snowstorm in a desert if the mood struck him. Yet it wasn't simply power that came with the change, but knowledge. It didn't feel much like the knowledge gained from reading a book. It was more instinctive. Like breathing or sensing your own heartbeat. He soon just knew the name of every human being the world over, and he saw the goodness and the darkness in their hearts. He felt the magic that ran through his new home was his own, and he could manipulate it as he liked. It had been that magic which allowed the reindeer to fly, and it would propel them through the air at the height of his power.

It also became apparent that although his will had built the place, Santa hadn't created the elves. Their magic was of a slightly different sort to his, though he did hold a great deal of influence over them. They had been brought here from somewhere else. He'd tried to concentrate on their home, but the place didn't just simply cease to exist one day. Rather, it was as if it had never existed at all. Yet he remembered glimpses of a world of sunlight, music, lush green fields and deep, untamed forests. There was a darkness that had come over it, as if everything was going to sleep, including time itself. Santa had brought some of them from their fading home and into his service, for he cared for them deeply. Except he wasn't called Santa then. He went by another name.

There wasn't much more to be found in those memories, and none of the elves seemed to remember their old home. It certainly didn't help that whenever he tried to recall their past it felt like he was suddenly half blinded. Seeing those memories was difficult enough without losing all depth perception. So he'd simply let it be, and concentrated on making his new friends comfortable and content in their current home instead. Though he had to control himself in order to avoid focusing that task on one red-haired elf in particular.

* * * * *

The morning of the 24th arrived with breakfast in bed being carried into his room by Elina. It came as a slight surprise, given his anticipation for the day. He instantly wanted Callie there with him, for he always looked forward to seeing her in the morning. Apparently his disappointment showed on his features when Elina settled the breakfast tray across his bed. Everything smelled remarkably delicious as usual.

"Callie is getting ready to oversee the loading operation," Elina gently explained. If his obvious hint of disappointment bothered her it didn't show. She seemed oddly serene for someone who whose immortality would be coming to an end within a month. "I think she plans to check the name on every gift herself before they go inside the sack. She asked me if I could take over her duties this morning, and bring you breakfast. The last of my elves came home last night. We're all ready to assist in the day's work."

"Thank you, Elina. You've done a wonderful job with the preparations. I've seen the newspapers. There's something in the air out there already, and it'll have built up by tonight. Without the belief that you've nurtured in the people out there, we wouldn't have had the power in here to do what needed to be done. If tonight goes well, I think it'll be largely down to you."

"Thank you, Wendall." She was one of the few who referred to him by his name rather than "sir" or "boss". His words had obviously touched her in rather unexpected depths, and she lifted a hand to steady the sudden clench inside her chest. "That means a great deal to me."

"Well it's not exactly small potatoes to me either, you know. And today I think it's best if you call me Santa Claus if that's agreeable." He smiled merrily at her.

"It's very agreeable, Santa." A genuine smile formed upon the elf's lips that brought a glow to her beautiful blue eyes. "It has been an honour to have served you this year. I'd forgotten for a while what it was to be a part of this place when it was given over to its proper nature. It's... rather wonderful."

"I'm going to make sure it will be for many years to come."

"Yes, of course." She gave a small nod of agreement, and then stepped back to the door.

"Elina?"

"Yes, Santa?"

"Why didn't you tell me you'd die if I didn't pick you out to be Mrs. Claus?"

She seemed slightly troubled by that, though her tone remained pleasant enough. "Does it matter?"

"I'm afraid it does. Yes." He nodded.

"I suppose I thought you'd find out eventually, and in the mean time I hoped that there might be something between us. Something like what you've found with Callie. The last Santa Claus never tried to hurt me. He never tried to hurt any of us. It was just his nature that made him the creature he was. He wasn't terrible all the time, you know. But he never really loved me. Sometimes he tried to made me laugh, and I believe he genuinely cared for me in some way, but I don't think love was something he was really capable of. It's been something I've always wished for. I went about trying to get yours all the wrong way. I see that now. I thought that perhaps we'd have more time together and I could put up a better fight, but by the time I returned from your errand a fool could see that you were Callie's and she was yours. I think I'd rather not live through more centuries without the love of my husband."

"I see." He nodded and set his breakfast tray to one side. "Do you know why Callie really asked you to serve me breakfast this morning?"

Elina's eyes turned somewhat downcast at that question. "I assumed she wanted to rub my nose in it."

"You should think more of her. Will you come stand over here?"

"Certainly," she quickly did as she was bid and her expression filled with fresh curiosity. "There was some other reason then? I doubt it was my flair for making pancakes."

"No. We were talking about you last night, you see. I asked something of her that was slightly unconventional for a man to ask a woman he intends to spend the rest of his life with."

"Oh, so you have chosen her then? Of course you have." Elina shook her head. "I'm sorry. I knew it, but I didn't quite think I'd be affected by hearing it said aloud. Apparently I was wrong. What was it that you asked of her?"

"I asked if I might kiss another woman. Given a condition, she accepted." He chuckled and then pointed up at the high arched ceiling above their heads. There, a single branch of mistletoe hung above their heads.

Elina let out a peal of shocked laughter at the sight of the little branch that surprised them both. Then she looked back down upon him, her smile remained dancing upon her lips and tears glistening in her eyes.

"Who would I be to deny Santa Claus such a request?" she said, and then leaned in to give him a hug.

She thought it was going to be a hug to say goodbye between them. Then she moved her head and touched her lips to his, enjoying the tickle of his silky beard. To her immediate surprise, the kiss wasn't exactly a chaste peck between friends. She felt it sizzle all the way down to her toes.

That was just the opening act, as Santa pulled her upon him to sit on the bed beside his lap and their kiss deepened into something far more powerful. She felt heat rise to her cheeks, as something strangely familiar began happening to her. It felt like an infusion of thunder in her blood, and it rocked her so deeply that she broke the kiss to fall back onto the bed.

Her pale skin started to glow and shift slightly from its creamy colour and took on an almost golden tint that glowed with near-divinity. Her hair spilled out from beneath her pointed hat, pushing it off her head entirely as the long mane of bright gold strands spilled out around her. The features of her face took on the more mature appearance of a woman in her early thirties as opposed to her early twenties, and carried the regal bearing of some ancient faerie queen. She felt the uniform she was wearing tighten against her skin as her body grew considerably taller adding at least 12 inches to her height and giving her a more curvier and glamorous physique.

Santa watched with his mouth hanging open in awe as Elina changed before his eyes, though he could certainly still recognise her beneath the changes. Her eyes gleamed like sapphires, wide and utterly baffled as she suddenly sat up sending her hair cascading around her shoulders with an almost magical grace.

"What!? How? You didn't give me a wedding band. It's always been the ring that does it!" It was highly amusing seeing the beautiful high-elf so thoroughly disoriented. The sultry tone of her voice was quite derailed by her shock.

"That's probably because you're not Mrs. Claus. That's going to be Callie's job, I think. If it's going to be anyone's. I haven't exactly had a great deal of luck with marriage. Just please don't tell her about it just yet because I haven't mentioned it to her." He settled back in bed and plucked up some toast from the tray she'd brought in before starting to munch away with good cheer.

"Then... how!?" her tone shifted from confused to pleading as she stood up and looked over herself.

"It's true that it practically says in the rulebook that only Mrs. Claus gets to be a high elf." He gave a conceding nod before dipping the toast into the yolk of a boiled egg. "Just don't forget who writes the rulebook around these parts, ok?"

"But... but..."

"There hasn't been any other Santa's who made high elves? I'm not really sure why that was. In the old days it was because they just didn't need any. When Mrs. Claus passed on it was usually because she wanted to join her husband. Love's a funny thing that way. The last Santa probably just didn't have enough juice for it. Ooooh, juice!" He reached out and picked up a glass of freshly squeezed orange juice that the toast rack had been hiding and took a big refreshing glug. "From what I know about the guy, he sabotaged a lot of the power he had with the way he worked. Didn't understand a lot about the magic of this place, and of who he was. I've been rummaging around in here." He tapped his brow. "And with enough belief I can do some pretty damned impressive stuff if I put my mind to it."

"I think I understand. Just... why me? It must have taken a lot of power, mustn't it? I've been so far away. You barely know me."

"Because it's Christmas. Ho, ho, ho!" He chuckled heartily and went back for more toast. "Besides, as I remember saying at the start of this conversation, most of the power I'm getting now is because people have started believing again! They're seeing elves, it's starting to snow, and a good chunk of the planet who believe in me are giving me a hell of an energy boost that's largely thanks to you. So, consider this an early Christmas present and then let's get to work!"

Elina's bottom lip quivered before she leapt across the bed to give her boss a very grateful hug. He lost his piece of toast, and let out a cheerful laugh when she sniffled against his shoulder.

"There'll be plenty of time for that later, my dear lady! Now, after all that you're not going to go about letting the side down today are you?" he playfully asked.

"You bloody well better believe I won't. Do you mind if I go change first though? My tits feel like they're going to explode out of this smock at any moment." She laughed and released him to jump up beside the bed.

"Ha! Go on with you then." He watched as she took her leave to gracefully skip to the door and disappear.

Her head popped back into the room a minute later and she gave him a radiant smile.

"Oh, and your suit is here! It's hung up out here in the office. Everyone's downstairs when you're ready. I'd also take that mistletoe down now if I were you, or enterprising elves might decide to try and take advantage of you!" With a wink that made that last statement more of a promise, Elina swished out of the room again and disappeared.

Santa Claus finished his breakfast, and then went to suit up.

* * * * *

The suit had been tailored to his build and was quite possibly the most comfortable thing he'd ever worn. As he adorned himself with the familiar garments, he felt the magic start to crackle through him like thunder. He laughed when he saw the green underpants with miniature, cartoonish images of his reindeer patterned across the green cotton. After slipping them into place and finding them pleasantly warm and snug, he went about pulling on his socks. They matched the colour scheme of the underpants, but carried images of holly rather than reindeer. A pair of large, red pants were pulled over his strong legs soon thereafter, cuffed at the end of each leg with fresh white fur and soon held aloft with a pair of red suspenders. He pulled a green silk shirt over his muscular chest and buttoned it up, enjoying the sleek sensation of the material on his skin. After tucking in the shirt, he reached down to lift a heavy pair of black boots from beside the fireplace and set one on each foot. Once he was steady on his feet again in the toasty warm boots, he pulled the suspenders over his broad shoulders and turned to where his overcoat hung upon the door frame. It was an enormous, floor length garment made with red velvet and carried larger tufts of soft, white fur along the lining. The inside was lined with a slightly darker shade of green silk than his shirt, and as he settled it across his shoulders it fit perfectly. A thick, black leather belt was wrapped around his waist to keep the overcoat in place, and he clasped the golden belt buckle before reaching for the final piece of the outfit. The red hat settled atop his head to keep the tops of his ears warm with its soft, white, fur brim. It was so long that it fell down across his left shoulder, leaving a fluffy white tuft at the tip to settle over his heart. A couple of holly leaves were placed on the side of the hat, just for added effect.