Citibank

My phone rang at about 1:30pm on Tuesday. It was an unknown number. These days it was a 50/50 proposition whether or not it was a scam caller so I was generally not fussed if I took the call or not. This time I did.

"Hello," I answered. Years gone by I would have answered with my full name but if it was a scammer there was no point offering this up front.

"Yes, Mr Waller. Good morning, it's Marie calling from CityWide. You logged a case with us yesterday." Wow, that was a strong accent. She sounded Asian who had learnt English via an American on-line tutorial.

I was tempted to hang up on the spot. However, I was in the kitchen and I didn't quite hear all the words. I asked her to repeat. This time, I heard "Citibank", not "CityWide".

Yes, I had just yesterday emailed Citibank to dispute a credit card transaction for $163 for a purchase I had made three weeks ago and hadn't arrived. Ordinarily, I wouldn't have been concerned with the delay but I had tried to contact the supplier via their on-line form and separately via their customer service email a week ago and there had been no response. There was also no phone number I could call.

"Oh, yes. Thanks for calling," I said. I asked her about her 'good morning', given that it was well after lunch.

"My apologies, Mr Waller. I am working from home in Perth where it is 10:33 in the morning. I can see that you reside in Sydney?" I confirmed that I did.

"Thank you, Mr Waller. We just need details of the products you purchased so we can progress your dispute."

I had already emailed the invoice yesterday as part of my transaction case and I told the lady as such. "I apologise Mr Waller, I don't believe it has uploaded into the system at this stage. Are you able to tell me over the phone what you purchased?"

The purchase was adult products. This is not something I regularly buy, but when I have, they generally come discretely in the post. I get them sent to my work address and they just look like stationary or printer products.

I whispered into the phone that the goods were "adult products", not that I needed to. I was working from home and no one else was around.

"I see Mr Waller. However, I will need to know specific details in order to progress your dispute." I wasn't ready for that.

My laptop was already set up in the living room and I put my phone on speaker as I retrieved the invoice from the email attachment from yesterday.

"Can I confirm the website you purchased the products from", Marie continued. I gave it to her and she brought it up at her end. "Ok, Mr Waller. Please tell me the first product."

The first product was a cock ring. I didn't want to say the name of it, so I just gave her the six-digit product code. "Is that the, 'We Vibe! Vibrating cock ring', Mr Waller?" The name didn't sound so bad coming out of her mouth and I confirmed that it was. "What is the second product?"

This was a vibrating wand that had caught my eye. I think it was more a women's toy for stimulating her clitoris but I figured I would find a use for it. I duly gave the product code and she asked me to confirm that it was the 'Straight to the Point, USB-Rechargeable Stimulator'. Yes, correct.

"Is that all Mr Waller or is there any other product?" That should have been all but I wanted to get the cost over $100 to get the free shipping.

"Um, there is one more ..." I stammered. I gave her the product number and she came back quickly.

"Is that the '19-Year-Old Warm Vibrating Vagina' for $85, Mr Waller?"

"Yes," I replied sheepishly.

Happily, she didn't provide any further comments and I could hear her type up some notes on her computer. She went through a few additional administrative questions I thought I had already covered in my original email, such as whether there was a due date for delivery and if I had attempted to contact the supplier.

"Have you bought from this supplier before, Mr Waller?" No, this was the first time.

"Have you previously bought these products before elsewhere?" This question felt slightly off-script. "I will need the background from you, in order to progress your case to the investigating team," she explained.

"I have used a cock ring in the past ... but not a vibrating one." That was a completely honest answer.

"Do you expect that the vibration function will make the cock ring feel better, Mr Waller?" Her voice had changed slightly. It was slightly lower than before. I indicated that I was hoping it would. I believed that the product had a number of settings. I didn't make mention of this as I'm sure Marie had all the details on it from the website in front of her.

"How often would you use the product on your cock each week?" Ok. This was definitely off-script. Rather than challenge her on her line of questioning, I decided to run with it. I had gotten quite horny when I was looking at the products on-line and this feeling started coming back to me thinking of what I had purchased. Also, I didn't want to get Marie off-side as I needed her support to get this case progressed.

"If it works well, I'm likely to use it daily, hopefully in the shower as I think it is waterproof," I offered.

"Very good, Mr Waller." I could hear some keyboard clicks. Was she really typing this down? "Do you find that cock rings keep your cock nice and hard while you're masturbating it?" I attested that they do.

"Now, what about this USB-rechargeable stimulator? It seems to be a women's sexual aid. Is it a gift for your wife or girlfriend?" This was broadly a black wand about six inches in length with a bulbous tip that vibrated.

I didn't want to offer up at this stage that I was married and it wasn't for my wife in any event. "I was going to use it on myself," I said.

"I see that the product can be used to stimulate the head of your cock and can even be inserted inside your anus." I could hear some additional noise in the background. Oh wow, it sounded like she had looked up a review of the product and was watching a video on it. "Maybe you could also use the stimulator up and down the shaft of your cock while you're wearing the cock ring?" she posed.

"Do you have any other products that you currently insert up your anus?" I did have a silver, bullet-type thing that was pretty good. I also had a bigger purple vibrator but it always felt too big to insert up my arse. I just mentioned the silver thing.

"Does the silver bullet help your cock to cum hard when you use it?" she further enquired. It used to, but it's become less effective over time. I told her.

"Did you know you could gently insert the stimulator into the eye of your cock?" she suddenly came out with. I hadn't considered that a possibility, so no was the answer. I asked her how she knew that. I hadn't seen it in the product description.

"I'm watching a video where a wife is using it on her husband's penis around the tip and she is carefully dipping it inside the eye of the penis each time the vibration causes the end to open up. It looks like his penis is about eight inches long and very hard ... how long is your cock when it is hard, Mr Waller?"

On a good day it is six and a half inches. I told Marie it was seven. I had now switched Marie to speaker on the phone and quickly lifted up in the chair to take down my jeans and underwear. My half erect cock fell out to the side of my lap.

I'm not sure if Marie sensed this or if it was good timing but the next thing she said was, "Mr Waller, I would like you to send me a picture of your erect cock, if you're able to."

I was quickly able to get my dick super-hard. In a few moments I took a quick photo of it and got Marie's number. I sent it.

"Mr Waller, you have a very nice, hard cock. I like cocks that are long and thin." (I didn't consider my dick to be 'thin' but I didn't question this). I heard some movements at her end. It sounded like she was now getting comfortable herself.

"Now, Mr Waller please tell me about the '19-Year-Old Warm Vibrating Vagina'." I had been worried that my wife may have found out about this. I just wanted to save the $25 postage and I thought it wouldn't hurt to try. Never in my life did I think I'd be asked about it by a lady from a finance company.

She didn't wait for a reply. "Do you have a fantasy about sticking your cock into a lovely, young girl's vagina and feeling how warm and tight it is?"

I offered up that this wasn't a product I had bought before ... but it was actually the one I was looking forward to the most. "Yes, I'd love to fuck a young vagina with my cock." Talking dirty didn't really turn me on. It was much better to hear the words come out of Marie's mouth. I was hoping I didn't turn her off with the use of the word "fuck". Happily it didn't.

"Any girl or women would enjoy your long hard cock fucking them, Mr Waller," she came out with. She was seemingly still focusing on the picture of my cock I had sent through to her. She added, "I would love my pussy to be filled with your big dick ..." I could hear her muted breathing through the phone and it sounded like she had moved away from her computer.

I had already started pulling on my cock but now decided not to muffle the noise as I started to go harder. I was happy that she would be hearing me wank very hard over the phone line. I pictured her doing the same.

"Send me a picture," I said.

I was being intentionally vague. She would either agree or not. There was a pause, then she simply said, "Yes."

I eagerly looked over to my phone expecting it to show a photo immediately. Obviously, it didn't. I kept pulling on my hard cock, being careful not to explode before the picture could come through.

Finally, my phone chimed and I reached over and grabbed it. The photo came up quickly. I saw beautiful tanned legs with a nice trimmed pussy with legs opened slightly apart. She had put some time into getting the light right and may have discarded the first few attempts.

"Beautiful," is all I said.

"Please fuck my tight pussy with your big, hard cock Mr Waller."

At this point, all bets were off and we both went hard at our respective ends. Me, wanking my cock for all it was worth and Marie I imagined rubbing her clit and her pussy lips hard. We could both hear each other moaning audibly in the background.

I came hard and ejaculated up my chest. My stunted breath told Marie I had climaxed and she yelped as she gave her pussy a final vigorous rub.

Marie went back to "Citibank employee." "Thank you for your time, Mr Waller. I will progress your case file. Please call me when you are able to source some alternative products. I'd like to ensure that they perform as they should. You have my number ..."

I had already mentally written off that first order. I immediately found another website and ordered new products. Hopefully they will arrive in a couple of weeks.