All Comments on 'Clarksville'

No, after this racist shit I won't be reading anything else by you.

I think this story could have been really great, but the ending is unfinished and very unsatisfying.

-1

Good, but not finished. You have not finished Drew and Tess' story. Personally I hope Drew divorces Tess. He could move to Austin and open a 2nd shop and have Mitch run the first one. As far as Tess goes, at the very least no contact with Drew and his family. Her own family can give her enough grief. Her career may be in jeopardy anyways - she gave birth to a baby that was not her husbands - which lead to their divorce, and she was tutoring Eddie for months. Eddie may be over 18, but he was a student and that could destroy her career. Even if that doesn't happen, Tess has to live with the fact that she destroyed her husband and her marriage. She may find a sex partner, but a decent and good guy would avoid her like a plague. I hope she likes cats because other than her son that is all the company she'll have living with her.

Not finished. So I gave you a 1

Here we go, another unoriginal overused plot of a cheating slutwife, (who was by the way getting her "kink" taken care of by husband) but still had to disrespect her marriage and betray him.

And of course hints of RAAC are all through this uninteresting read. Perhaps someone with stones can bring this pathetic story a proper conclusion.

Interesting how the idea of giving the child up for adoption is never even mentioned, let alone entertained by any of the characters. It's the simplest solution aside from cutting ties and letting Tess experience the single parent life. And if everyone is dead set on Tess keeping the kid, I'm not exactly clamoring for the future RAAC this ending heavily hinted at.

All in all, a well made story that maintained a balance that not many others can claim. Even if you just had to work in a version of the tired old "fragile male ego" trope with Lori's story about Rick, at least it was more about getting Drew on the road to healing for his own sake, rather than for his wife and a child that shouldn't even be his problem.

"She could say it was forced and Eddie would maybe go along with it,"

Why would Eddie do that? Falsely accuse himself of rape?

You have left the 'forced angle out of the story. Served no purpose.

full on suck to the limit she gets prego by a big dicked black guy and he hasnt got a lawyer yet this dingle berry needs a second part a phone call is not in any way enough pain for her maybe he could still go for the big D but make sure shes got enough moola to take care of the kid properly but actually staying married to her no no no no a million times no that just doesnt happen unless hes got a serious brain malfunction.

Apart from telling us everybody’s nickname etc, which was a huge distraction, quite well written. It does need finishing though and BE , or whatever his name is needs some comeuppance.

And then he will proudly wear his horns, raising the black stallion's child and his whore wife, and be the laughingstock of the whole neighborhood 0*

I'm not scoring this one.

It was well written.

The really huge problem is that Tess was written as an unredeemable and incredibly stupid slut.

There really isn't anything to save. She thoughtlessly destroyed her marriage, conceived another man's baby (she knew she was off birth control and fucked Eddie many times) and destroyed her career by fucking a student. It is impossible to hide that she fucked around on her husband and everyone at her school knows who she was tutoring and some were already speculating about her messing around with him.

There is no way any of this ends well for Tess and Drew if he's dumb enough to stay with her.

Eddie will apparently just scate.

No vote until you FTDS.

I am rather desperately hoping there is a 3rd chapter coming in Lori's tale?

2.5/5

Incomplete Story

FTDS!

3* for the ending: "It would be a long road, and it may end in divorce"..."May"? was he ready to wake up every morning looking at child and remember how his mother cheated and destroyed his life and his love? It couldn't exist a revenge, but "may" it's a not existing word and staying married a not existing way...

‘Open-ended’ equals unfinished

And no I won’t read your other stories to ‘connect the dots’ to other characters

Yes, the man's wife just had a baby from someone who barely became a minor, and she also texted him after the birth about names...how fucking strong Drew was...meh.

The story needs an ending to get some stars.

I guess the ending is intentional, where you leave it up to the reader to draw their ow conclusions. It still feels like a FTDS to me though. Next time maybe leave an authors post note inviting others to write an ending.

ttt, you are good at this. You create vivid characters and situations. I am sure you will get many comments that this story is unfinished. I will just say that I will keep reading you whether you add to this or not.

So why did the father have to be an abusive and brutish 18 year old black thug? And why must the guy always make the white woman beg them to fuck their married cunt? Nope, this could have been a good story, too bad you had to ruin it with the race thing. I forced myself to read through this one even though I couldn't bring myself to finish your first attempt. I won't waste my time on anything else you submit.

What a fucked up ending.

I liked it but seriously hope there is a second chapter to this.

1* incomplete

Well done. You have an amazing number of followers for only your second story ever, and it is early on the date of your 2nd one. The word execution/grammar is fine, but your really should give your readers the respect of a slow proof read. That is one where you slowly read the 'final' product like a 2nd 3rd grader would do when you will spot all those gaffs with too many or too few letters in a word or an entirely unintended wrong word appearing in a place where the new word happens to be a legal word (Grammarly or other computer checking software will not spot those.)

Your man is not doing well wrestling with the hard to resolve confusion between Love and Lust. Because a normally wired women (or man) so easily falls into sex with someone does not in the least deny her genuine love for her main man. It just means the fucking someone new is magical. We can hope he will realize this and they can do the happily ever after.

Can't score an incomplete story... maybe if you try hard,you can BTB or RAAC them up.

Feels unfinished.

Best I can do was a 3*. You committed one of the cardinal sins of LW. You left your story unfinished. "Paying the Piper" was head and shoulders above this one. It had a beginning, a middle, and an end. Everything nicely tied up. This just had the beginning and middle with the ending no where in sight.

Ugh, the story ends hung and perchance so should BE be as he is.

Great stuff!!!!, I have to go back and read your first story. It will have to wait though. Duty call, Jen

Good story but weak ending.

In my world, if he does want stay married to that slut wife, he needs her to put up the kid for adoption or at least have the stud kid lover take the baby with him. Also, all cost and medical need to come from that kid (I know, the wife was in on it so he has no obligation) or threaten to kill him. If the wife balks then divorce for certain.

If the wife agrees and the baby gets to adoption. As soon as the baby is in fact adopted the divorce the wife! She can feel the betrayal of your lies. She gets divorced and has no baby.

wow I have an illumination.

I saw a Holy Man.

Oh my God.

What an honor you have done us to be able to read this story.

going to be just another cuck story.................

So what happened? Did he left his wife and went to Austin or he returned to clarksville?

Well, it sounds like he is going back to her. I understand they are incredibly good together but how does he get past what she did? Ok, the first time she fucked the kid was an emotionally charged encounter that got away from her, but she then fucks him repeatedly on several different occasions. They don’t use protection while she’s actively trying to get prego with her hubby. Now, every time the hubby sees her son, he will be reminded of her betrayal. What happens to hubby if they are unable to have a child together? What kind of father figure will Michael Levi have as he grows up? Will BE become a wealthy pro athlete and then steal Tess away again?

I feel sorry for the innocent child, but Drew needs to Cut his losses and find a new love.

Finish it.

This might have been a decent story if the author had actually finished it. It did seem like the MC was well on his way to becoming a cock sucking cuckold so maybe it was best left unfinished.

So, it seems that Drew is considering allowing himself to be a doormat and let his slut, cheating, wife walk all over him. If he does decide to get back together with the slut, he will have a lifetime of embarrassment in that small town. Where everyone knows everyone and will also never forget. Whenever they are out as a family, people will see and smile knowingly at the slut and her cuckold.

But to not do anything against the now 20 year old arsehole father... well, that's just ridiculous.

Technically, he was still a student at the school where she was a teacher. That is frowned upon. But if he forces them to fire her she would also lose her practicing licence and will not be able to support herself financially.

His being a "nice guy" will force him to a life of emotional pain, whatever he decides. So, finish the damn story!

Well written story, thoroughly enjoyed it. I could empathize with Drew. I see writers coming forward with alternate endings on this one. I just hope that they are able to do it justice. 5 stars

Landing in that liberal cesspool of Austin was the worst thing Drew could do. Now he will go back to the whore, who will do it again. BE will be in her life as he knows about the baby and will feel he has some ownership over Tess. Drew will become a laughingstock over time and might just find a tree to drive into someday to end his pain. He needs to dump the cheater and find a better woman. Do not bond with that baby!

Very good story. Loved piper also. Keep up the good work

So very good. But so very unfinished. Shame, really.

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Coulda been a 5 with an ending. Without it — 3 ***

3 stars for the well written story, BUT 0 star for leaving the situation unfinished.

This nasty story appears to be headed toward some kind of RAAC. I hope not, because the skanky slut needs to be chucked to the curb. YES, we all know this is a fantasy fiction - but some times you have to make an extra effort to protect kids from sexual predators like this bitch.

She is a teacher, a certified professional who works with young impressionable students. There are strict guidelines and so many rules in place to deal with this kind of sexual abuse, that her teaching career would be in the toilet. She took advantage of a young 'almost' man - given that males do not really mature until about 25. I hope that a second chapter appears and addresses that particular part of this problem. She needs to be dealt with severely. Steps must be taken to keep this woman from EVER having contact with young people again.

If this had happened to me, the process would be simple - she would be served divorce documents ASAP. This is 100% her problem. She would be shipped off to her parents and the house sold immediately - end of story.

4 stars. I will come back and raise to 5 if a second chapter is published. A little attempt to encourage more. It was very good. Leaving readers to decide the ending and the aftermath is ok but look forward to your next story. Well done.

4 pages and no ending? Meh ☆

A husband whose wife has a child by another man is the very definition of a cuckold.

Doubt I'll read any more from this author.

A decent read somewhat but terribly incomplete

Great narrative if not for a well worn story line used on the site over the past year. There’s plenty of space in your story arc to salvage this tale. Just make sure you put everything into chapter 2, because without a family mush it was a waste of time. 4*

Uhh...there is absolutely zero chance in real life this ends any other way besides a messy divorce.

And she loses her job. Regardless of his age. He was still a student at her school while she was fucking him.

She is a horrible awful person. Who deserves exactly the life and reputation she has earned.

After she loses her job and her husband divorces her...she'll move to be closer to BE at the Univ of Tennessee. Not because he wants anything from her except an occasional fuck buddy...she's 12 years older than he is and he's a college football star. He's gonna fuck a lot of college chicks. And he's NOT going to marry a woman closer in age to his dad than himself.

So...she'll find another job in another school district being a single mom with a horrible reputation and a mixed race baby in the South. Good luck with that life.

I hope Drew goes back to Austin after the divorce.

For those RAAC people out there. Just zero chance a man can get past looking at a child every single day and living with the betrayal it represents. Raising a child takes everything you have under normal circumstances. The sacrifices...the late nights...the money...coaching your child's teams...homework...teenage years of rebellion. Yeah...nope...no man is going to get past having a complete and total cheating whore for a wife and looking at her love child every single day for the rest of your life. Not going to happen.

No way this character would ever be able to continue in this relationship. Think about how his employees would treat him. His family. His siblings. It's just unacceptable.

Unless this whore puts the child uo for adoption? This marriage has zero chance of survival.

Anything else is just feel good spin. And pointless.

This is leaning towards a second part no doubt? May have to withhold rating it until the story's finished.

I guess that I don't really grasp the reason for the MC's angst and hesitation. My reaction to these stories is always gut connected. My first thought was as soon as he saw the baby, he should have cut off the wristband. And then he should've turned and left the hospital. I apologize, but when I realized the course the story was taking, I skipped to the end. I don't know the related circumstances of her affair, but If he was a student, the third action he should've taken was to call his teacher wife's principal. Finally, he had plenty of time to separate himself permanently from the wife. With the bent of this plot, I wouldn't be surprised to learn that a sequel pops up in which the MC invites the baby daddy to move in with them and raise the kid together with the MC and LW. One big panethnic, polyglot, polyamorous pile. Yikes!!!

I assume this is part 1

FTDS! We know how this will (or should) end. Tess has a black baby. Everyone knows she spent time with BE. He was her student, so she gets fired. Drew would lose all respect and give a signal that his wife is fair game for any horny bastard if he stayed with her as she has a child that any blind person could see is not his. Trust is gone. He can never regain it. He doesn’t have to burn her, but he can’t stay married.

Excellent link in with Lori! I had forgotten her from Piper until your blurb at the end. Great stories so far! More please if you feel like it! 5*

This *needs* a part2. Seriously, don’t leave us hanging!

KaeYo

An affair is one thing, which the hurt party has to accept or not..

Getting knocked up is something different. For want of a condom.....

Having a baby that doesn't share your lack of melanin is way over the top, imo. Every time you see the child will be a reminder. Perhaps same for wife.

Burn BE mildly. Divorce will kill the wife by itself, but there still needs to be more. imo. Annnnnd another happy marriage ruined

Interesting premise, maybe a follow up to what happens next

It was good, until the last paragraph when you left the impression that Drew may wimp out. Unfinished as it stands now.

Another author that comes up with a good start to an interesting story and then can not finish it. Why???

Then to intimate that you are headed directly to a cuck story. So sad.

Realistic. It's hard to turn from love to hate. The reality is that the vast majority of normal men would need time to think about what they truly wanted and what they truly think is best.

Their decisions will vary obviously, but normal people might leave or stay without accepting the behaviour or without resorting to extremes of retaliation.

I dont see how they can come back from this. There is not even any need for petty revenge. If they divorce, Tess has to raise her child alone and the student has to pay child support. That will hurt enough already in their situation. What even is there for Drew when he comes back? They cant even tell anyone that they adopted since everyone knew that Tess was pregnant. How will he ever love the child like his own? He may never hurt the child in any way but there will always be a distance, even if they stay together. And that distance can hurt the child in itself. Lets not talk about how he could ever love her like before, thats impossible and in my opinion not worthwhile. Btw, I actually dont like the Lori character. Did she ever feel some guilt for Ricks death? She anticipated their cheating and did nothing other than tell Cindy that it will blow up in their face. But that was obvious. After she caught them she just packed. Just one word could have saved a marriage and prevented the death of someone struggling.

This is some til Tok based shit. Once again a reference to a man’s pride. So her vanity, had nothing to do with her fucking another man. And the way it’s written apparently she is accountable for her making him a cuckold. The funny thing is she picked him because he took “PRIDE “ in taking care of himself and his family.

Good story start, however the ending left us hanging! Because of the ending only 3*.

Horrible ending. Of course it would be worse if he takes her back. If so, he’s more forgiving than I’d ever be. No matter how wonderfully one describes a woman, there is always another. Same for guys too of course.

This is a small city, and people know each other. No way hubby could live with the wife's child in such a city.

I enjoyed your first attempt with Cindy and Rick but this one not so much.

I enjoy a good RAAC story but--you left it unfinished. I'm not saying I agree with reconciliation in this instance but what I don't agree with is an unfinished story. That's why I gave it a 3.

Nixrox, what she did is a crime in my state. Institutional sexual assault. It doesn’t matter the age. Not sure if it’s one in TN too

good writing and a new twist on the cheating wife. 4*

More shapes please lol

cucks get one star

I only gave 3 stars not because it was a mediocre story but you have no ending. I seems that it now the trend to leave the readers hanging, which in my opinion indicates you have run out of ideas.

Cut her lose. She screw someone other than her husband and had a child that clearly is not her husband. Yes it hurts but staying with the cunt will only get worse. What will be next? She bringing home a cream pie full of her gang bang party and her need to have him clean her out. Nope part ways with her and move on.

I gave you 4 stars for a well written story. THAT being said, this tale was a complete load of shit.

Drew realizes the wife he loved above al else cheated and had a black kid. One that in NO way could he ever pass off as his. Yet he is so complacent he tells his wife, "We must figure what to do about this beautiful baby we both have held. Really? Any man would have been so shocked he might stared at the kid but that would be about the extent of it. Especially at first.

Tess calls BE. Does he panic? See his carreer and future in the shitter? NOPE. They talk about the name.

Drew stocks the fridge with food, the house with diapers, leaves her with a full bank account and leaves to collect his thoughts... Another bullshit response. He MIGHT have told his people at his shop to handle things as best they could before he left. But to hold/or put any revenue where his cheating wife could not touch it.

Then he drives half way across the US to find the woman from your previous story She tells him to reflect on what he wants and she drives back. In your previous story the idiot husband kills himself even if he does manage to screw the cheating wife and her lover posthumously.

In this one Drew returns home trying to decide what he wants to do. Does he care about the man (No longer a kid who fucked and impregnated his wife) and want revenge... NOPE. He just lets the guy go...

Like I said. Well written but a sorry plot. Outside of anguish, your idea of how a man might respond fails miserably.

Well done 4 stars needs another chapter to finish the story then probably 5 stars.

Excellent work Badly needs an ending.

Pathetic

Yet another LW story by a misandrist, white hating, cuck author. This is bullshit: "Last night he told me he just couldn't bring himself to be vindictive against you. That is how fucking strong he is!" No, it's a sign of how weak he is, which is how his character is developed. The use of "vindictive" is just spin used to deflect attention from the need for justice in such a situation, justice that our degenerate legal system denies. A strong man wants justice done. Instead we get a simpering SNAG, a "Pajama Boy". Is it possible for more than 5% of LW authors to write anything other than weak, needy, unprincipled, low T cucks as husbands or wife characters who stray because they get hit by the Martian Slut Ray? Expecting stories to reflect a basic, realistic understanding of anatomy, sex and race seems to be far beyond the abilities of any author here. Anybody here knows that if a man is remotely normal, IRL the marriage is over the minute the husband sees the bastard child. Yet, we get story after story in which the husband cucks out. Do notice that the racial situation is NEVER reversed in these stories, i.e. with the black husband finding that a white or an asian is the father of his wife's child, let alone stays with the wife to be a confirmed cuck. Why? because the authors here who write this type of story are, wittingly or unwittingly, woketard, racist fucks. -10

Vanilla soy latte and she has to tell him she's from the west coast/ Where lse do you find fruitcakes like that?

Listening to a retarded fascist like ScorpioJJ is the worst thing anyone can do.

That said, you should change this to CucksVille...thats where this is headed, and it was clear early one my Conservative cucky boy. I wont say why, but I nearly gave up but had to see how fucking badly you'd make this and you didnt fail.

Literally very few men or women will contend with someone elses child in this manner. But you homsexuals living in denial think its so erotic...but its as erotic as a MAG't s intelligent....and they literally have nothing between their ears, which Im guessing you knw well.

Needs a second chapter!

4

OMG. The worst possible nightmare. Personally, I would not even think of returning home. I would be on the phone to my lawyer first thing and divorce the whore. Otherwise he will be reminded of her infidelity every time he looks at the baby and every time he looks at his wife, he will see nothing but a hooker, a betrayer, a cheat & a liar. No man could ever cope with this absolutely unforgivable act of betrayal.

Pretty good until the terrible non-ending. It's the most grievous mistake you can make as an author - leave the story unfinished. You have a few mistakes grammar wise but nothing that can't be cleaned up in later stories. Good luck

I think everyone has said it I agree everyone has a valid point. As someone has pointed out why don’t they put it up for adoption that would be the safest thing to do. The kid then would be properly looked after and loved instead of one sided love coming only from the mother. Otherwise it would probably kill the kid later on in life knowing that he wasn’t wanted. Knowing he came from a mistake no matter how hard the husband tried the kid would always see it on the husbands face that he wasn’t wanted you see keeping the child is not worth the heartbreak in the future. Giving him up for adoption now instead of later will help the kid in later life as long as the adoptive parents don’t tell the truth if it needs to know say real parents died in a car accident or something. It’s the sensible and safe way around it . But yes great story can’t wait for your next story. But on the plus side have seen saddletramp1956 has liked your story and since you have left the ending open I sense a huge continuation of this story I just can’t wait .

3 stars almost! Doesn't want to hurt the asshole who knocked up his wife? Really!!! Just kiss the guy's ass and encourage him to do it again. Be careful this story could/should be posted in the fetish section. Don't get me started on the wife. If you write a follow-up give the guy his balls back.

Please Finish The Story

There are a couple mistakes in the Dutch lines

1; Ik hoop alleen dat je een huis hebt om naartoe te gaan.

2; Een bakje troost or Een bakkie troost

Great story.... now, finish it.

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BTW Austin died when they tore down the Armadillo World HQ. It stopped being weird when the hippies left SoCo and the yuppies and Dellionaires moved in. Now, it's so fake, even 'Keep Austin Weird' has been packaged, focus-grouped and homogenized. The place has become a misplaced west-coast wannbe cliché, that's pronounced, Awwww-stin. Moses and Steven F. are spinning like lathes.

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5/5!!! Now.... FTDS!!

I love a happy ending. 5 stars

First of all thank you for continuing to write for L! Your shared talent is very much appreciated. Very nice including Lori as a bridge character from your first offering to this one. It would be really fun if you were to build a sort of little universe with characters coming in and out to populate each others stories. Hopefully there will be a part 2 to this tale. If so there is no doubt that it will be quality writing regardless of how the plot progresses. 5/5

Possibilities for a storyline that moves beyond a typical LW BTB tale. You are the author, your fantasy; sometimes hard to craft something beyond the norm. You’ve created a couple of interesting characters albeit biased toward husband. We will see.

Divorce is definite. Get on with his life, with someone who wont betray him.

Please finish it

Definitely a powerful and well written story , but you left it too open-ended for its own good , that is unless you planned another chapter , which I hope you do . Leaving it this open doesn’t do it justice , I imagine you wanted the readers to come up with their own conclusion based off the 6 hour talk with his dad , but there’s no mention of what his wife is expecting or hoping or planning on doing to move forward . There’s no mention of the situations impact or the mindset of the father or whether they sleep together again someday , or if he’ll be in his babies life ? Seemingly You’re leaning toward reconciliation ? Is he considering another trip to Austin? Too many variables to have the reader decide . Great story though and it’s worth 4 , coulda had 5 though

Another cuck, LOL.... *

Don't kick her to the curb,all the way down the sewer

Fully agree with ScropioJJ. He needs to dump the cheating slut, Tess. And make sure the last name is changed on the birth certificate since its NOT his kid. Get BE to man up and pay child support, but more than likely, he won't. Sue the school for her infidelity with a student, as she professes her lust for her student. IF there is another chapter, be sure to give Drew some big balls to divorce his slutty wife and find Lori again.

Virtue signaling

Why would the MC NOT dump the faithless bitch

This story is clearly set to be some kind of reconciliation. Never keep a cheating spouse, especially when a cheating wife has the other man’s baby.

Well written but the lacking resolution and reconciliation set up earn a 1 star.

Her cuck husband still doesn't know what he should do. How long before he figures out Tess has shown only embarrassment and regret that she got caught. She loved fucking BE and she'd still be fucking him if she had the chance. She's an arrogant selfish immoral whore, and the cuck is considering keeping her as his life partner? If she wants more children will he continue to let her get knocked up by her latest fling since apparently the cuck really doesn't have any functioning balls? Hell, she even called the baby daddy to discuss names. Does that sound like a woman who wants to put her asshole fuck buddy behind her and try to regain her marriage? If she sought BE's input on the bastard's name, then why not on other decisions in the child's life, like schools, sports, holidays? And when do BE's parents get to get involved in their grand child's life? And the whole time the bastard is growing up what will Drew's role be? Yeah, changing diapers while BE is fucking his next conquest. Can't wait to read the reaction when Drew finds out what BE stands for. Maybe Tess will let it slip, in, again, when BE cums to see his child.

Drew staying married to this whore is just too fucked up even for a dedicated cuck author. A fatal car wreck would be a blessed alternative.

A very thought provoking story. Thanks for the effort. How do you say that in Dutch?

Look, not a bad effort, but it is an unfinished story.

You should give your ending and then invite others to give an alternate ending.

No proper ending just shits people to tears, scores 2/5 for being unfinished.