All Comments on 'Click'

At least the cheating whore got caught in the story with no names.

Would have been nicer to read the aftermath as well...

3/5

I have a few problems with your story. It would have been much better written in third person (which for the most part you did) and past tense. Written in present tense seamed out of place.

Next, Hotel rooms run one side even the other odd. If she was in 315 , the door would have been to 317 not 316.

Last, (and just a personal thing) he should have loaded up all her clothes, lap top, cell phone and her purse and taken them with him. She would have had to borrow clothes from the brothers and go down for a new key, finding out then that hubby had already come and gone.

ending.......she gets exactly what she deserves, cheating slut

JJ

I couldn't get passed the second paragraph. We know when someone is on the phone that some sort of conversation is happening.

Does need some refining, hotels normally are numbered odd numbers on one side of the hallway and even across from them so her room would have been 314 or 318. When she went to his room on the second night she brought a condom but she starts out giving a blow job then jumps on hid dick and there is no mention of putting it on between sucking and fucking. Brother appears out of no where and joins in the fun but who was it that said he had a box of them, the man or brother. Husband goes to front desk and gets a card to the room but is told the wife has his card, hell it's hard enough to get the room clerk to remember you when you come in the next day to check on messages let alone that the wife already has your card from two days before. The husband must be have stone cold emotions to not react or take pictures or slam the door, something. Needed a better ending.

Use this critic to see the problems and correct the next one or have someone proof read the next story and grow to your potential.

We enjoyed your story, thanks! My sharp looking, 30-year old wife travels a fair bit for business. She especially likes hotel rooms with adjoined doors. And, yes, she remembers the sound of that slight click when the adjacent door is unlocked.

She has noticed that there is often a certain etiquette or routine around the door lock clicks. Sort of like a back and forth flirting routine, which she has perfected. Between adjoining rooms and the upscale bars in the JW Marriott properties, she rarely is lonely.

The few times I have traveled with her on business, she makes the hook up, and then rushes me into the closet. I have seen some awesome scenes with my wife behaving like a porn star for multiple partners. Afterwards, we count the number of filled condoms on the floor!

Thanks for turning a “click” into a story!

Another story ending before the aftermath...3*

You're a disgusting willing cuckold. Have you no shame?

Very good story, I like it when the wife gets busted. It needs a part two though, when she gets done to find she can't get into her room and the panic when she discovers her husband knows she's a slut and is heading to Dodge to Dump her sorry ass.

The best part was coming up. Burn baby burn.

Part 2 please. Husbands point of view

Story was going really good right up to the last few paragraphs. Then it turned into just another story for all the limp dicked loser's that hate stories like this to applaud the husband for dumping her. You ruined a good story just to get more stars how pathetic.

An earful lot of elaborate sex to pair with that ending.... didn’t fit

The end was ok. Although that was somewhat open. The rest was pure crap.

I thought it was pretty good, but a little short (flash story maybe?). Has the makings of becoming a really good story with some added details, like were the "brothers" her meeting that day?