All Comments on 'Closer Cop'

Perfect

No comparison between a Classic and this trash. Just awful.

Very well written but too sad to enjoy.

Good story, although her slide into depravity was quick! Stella went from adoring wife to incestuous double-penetration slut over one afternoon. She can't have genuinely loved her husband if she betrayed him that easily.

I liked the way you tied this in to "With a feather" and finally revealed what happened to Alice.

Well, as a guy who struggles with his demons and forgiving others, I have to say that the MC had my support up until the end.

Then, I realized he's just a POS. I mean, dude, you ruined the entire story with this epilogue where he placed his personal feelings over his job on two occasions.

First, at the traffic light, and yes it's obvious that she did it on purpose, hoping to be pulled over but it's still his job as the Sheriff to hold her accountable. Then the POS ending where he obviously receives a suicide note and his response is that it's not his problem?... I'm not one of those guys that hate on authors or at least try not to but you really fucked this story with this ending.

Do you actually think you could get away with that? There’s no way the new lady in your life will allow you to make smart remarks about suicide no matter how much you hated her or how much she hurt you. As a police officer I don’t think there’s any legal way you could walk away from a suicide. You know I do realize this is fiction of course but still there are Some subjects That are just a little too raw and sensitive to make jokes about even. To anyone that knew you, you would be the lowest form of worm! You know I am pretty much ok with some other authors ventilating their subjects with lead however the suicide business and a smart remark really sticks in my craw!

2 stars I would of sent the videos to all her relatives.

Finally a story where the guy doesnt become Captain SaveAHo

Fit ending!

5

Thanks for wrapping up your previous stories! But why does Janet get to go off with Steve? She wasn't evil but she didn't deserve a happy ending either.

I agree, what choice she makes is hers and hers alone. She chose everything that happened to her. SHE made the choices alone, so she can go it alone.

What happened to adulteress's cousins. You filed for divorce under adultery and submitted video and DNA evidence, so they must have been included in the suite? Surely there must have been blowback from there families and friends? Surely if she was in a At Will Employment state/county/province, once those activities which would become public there would be shame or job lost for such an incestuous acts.

I liked it but the ending is a bit TOO cold. He is a cop. He has access to all sorts of resources. He could have someone else discreetly check up on his ex. Throughout the story, he was the good guy. His ex lost BIG TIME. He has moved on and is in a good relationship. Characters need to be true to themselves as developed in the story. His callousness to a potential suicide makes him a "bad guy". It doesn't fit.

It was verging on a five star story however that last paragraph in particular ruined the ending. Aside from being callous, it also came across as totally inconsistent with the characters portrayed. Two people who met whilst volunteering at a holiday dinner for underprivileged kids are not going to respond like that to what they genuinely thought was a suicide note. Stella was pretty contemptible and barely repentant for most of the story, but you still give her parents/a friend some sort of heads up IMO.

><><><

P.S. also didn’t really take to the idea of a happily ever after with Janet and Steve from the previous story. Those two should have parted ways permanently.

I liked the story until the last sentence. His inaction will cost him his relationship with Kelly and possibly his job.

Can one of the parties in a legal action ‘serve’ the other? I don’t think so - that’s why process servers exist.

Can you bask in the afterglow of a faked orgasm? I mean, is it just as ridiculous stated this way as when I read it in the story?

And finally a cop ignores a likely suicide... professionally unacceptable plus his new girlfriend now knows what kind of person he really is and I can’t see her staying with him if his ex-wife truly does kill herself and he did nothing.

Otherwise it’s ok...

1 star from me, I could never live with myself if I found out she reached out to me and then offed herself. That ruined it for me.

Great work. I'm also reading your other work. You are a perfect example of writing quality over quantity. Like all fine things, I will slowly read and savor all of your excellent work!

.

Thank you!!!

The basic premise and plot were sound but you moved the story along too quickly, not allowing the readers to absorb the characters motivations and personas. Everything feel together quickly as if part of an investigation. One could argue you did it on purpose since he was a detective, of sorts, but I don't buy it. Great potential, but continue to work on your craft. 4*

In most, if not all, states a party to a lawsuit (here, the husband) isn't allowed to serve papers on another party (here, the wife). It's void.

Trash

Why do folks always have the cheater write or declare about how really slutty they were? How they enjoyed the sex and more? Like the guy needs to hear that?

Kind of a stretch of the imagination for Kelly to jump to the conclusion that the special delivery letter from the ex-wife was a suicide note. Also, a number of commenters seem to have unrealistic expectations as to what a police officer's duties and responsibilities are. As her Ex he doesn't owe her anything. She fucked up her life with her shitty decisions and stopped thinking about her Ex and their relationship a long time ago and went with fulfilling her entitled selfish desires consequences be damned.

The epilog lowered the rating, I also thought adding the bit about the plaque was a waste.

I don't usually negatively comment, but this one had a couple of things that bothered me. If you read out the longer conversations, they don't seem real. I mean, nobody actually talks like that, and it threw me out of the story. The other thing that got to me was the ending where he ignores her suicide note. his refusal to do anything about it really made me dislike the MC on a visceral level. I understand hatred, but that was cold. If I was Kelly I would run away as fast as possible, because he's clearly a sociopath.

That wife was definitely away with the fairies. No one would think the way she did...would they?

It was 5 Stars until the last paragraph killed it. Anyone who won’t prevent someone they once loved from killing themselves is way worse than an adulterer. No way a social worker would remain with such a person

Good story until the end - you ruined it in end. There is no way a cop would allow the suicide. His love with Karen, he killed it - no way a social worker stays with him after that. Should she kill her self, his career is toast if other cops find out he had a chance to stop it - it's his duty no matter who the victim is. I agree with burning her, moving on, he had no choice. But you killed a good story with the end.

My god...u are a worse cuck writer then Matt Moreau! I give u his crown...never thought anyone would be wimp enough to take it! Every slut wife has won in ur stories...Janet ends up with Steve...no punishment!!! Guess u are a cuck deep at heart! Count me out of ever wasting my time reading ur shit again!!!

To the author thanks for clearning up the mystery about Alice and Jerry, though it was kinda like reading an page 4 small newspaper obituary.

/

I truly enjoyed reading this. Was well written. I rarely read what's new in Loving Wives now a days as cuck crap stories still dominate the LW new stories. Youi made my day.

/

I was wondering though, if Stella pulled the plug of the TV how did he managed to skip to the DP part of the video?

It was a good ending until the last paragraph. Maybe it makes good reading for some, but it really passes my sensibilities that he would allow suicide.

I loved the last paragraph. She was not his problem and if she chose death instead of facing her problems there were other people who should respond. Good riddance.

What a piece of shit human being. He was a boring fuck, she should have dumped him and moved on. Believe me the social worker would have reported him and he would be done. She has an obligation to report.

Still not finished.

Well, he can say goodbye to Kelly next. His attitude about a potential suicide will be the ‘kiss of death’ (pun intended) for that relationship, especially since she’s a social worker.

The last paragrahp destroy the character of your MC. Granted he divorced her and while its ok for him does not wanted to have anynthing related to his ex, the fact that he treats such note with that kind of cooldnes and frivolity, contradicts the build up of his character so far. Yes the wife was a total cheating slut that deluted herself, but the closing words of her ex make him descent to her level.

Nevertheles it was a good story if a somewhat lackluster.

Killed it

I was going 4 until that last line

Shit copper

JJ

Well!!!!!!! Harry scary likes. LOVE slap papy papy#9

Well written. Kept me engaged until that infamous final paragraph.

On one hand Jake was presented as a self-described "go-getter", a maverick who doesn't go along to get along, an intelligent, community-minded man with firm morals and ethics. On the other hand in the span of a few sentences, Jake became a lethargic, apathetic loser in spite of his new SO's urging. Even an anonymous call to the police to request a welfare check would fit both his character and apathy. All characters have flaws and all actions have consequences, but this incongruity ruined the final resolution.

"Red Alert, all crew to battle stations! Lt Worf, what the hell just hit us? It appears to be a slut ray captain. It originated from 172 mark 356, the planet Mars. The Klingon Empire has had many dealings with the Martian people. They seek your mate and avoid the true field of battle. They are without honor."

Yeah, total slut ray folks and what kind of bag of shit let's a suicide happen? I AM a social worker and here to tell you, it would never fly. I would have kicked his ass. --- starsong1977

it was ok until the end, that was just so cold, I highly doubt Kelly will stay with him. One final thought, I am curious as to what is considered depraved, group sex, the DP or was it anything that is not missionary? It sounds he was a bit uptight about sex that wasn't vanilla, just an FYI i am assuming vanilla is plan old missionary no oral etc. I am not excusing the wifes actions, but he does sound boring in the sack.....

“She received a call from Brad a few days before he was due to come home. The call was nothing like she expected. Brad's first words to her were: "What are you playing at? While I'm over here trying to figure out how to preserve our marriage, you're still pursuing your affair." “

=====

In your original story, Janet had just been recruited by Evie to pick Brad up at the airport in the next 24 hours because Brad was that day boarding a flight home from Saudi. And it was AFTER that news that Janet found those plaques.

Now in this retelling, you have their relationship blowing up several days before he was to leave, and totally ignoring al, of the evidence showing that it never got physical with Steve.

That was disrespectful to your readers, and was one reason this tale got just 2**…. Another being how he ignored that suicide note, which was TOTALLY out of character for this seemingly highly principled cop.

He is letting her kill herself ,that killed your story. As a cop he was breaking his oath to society.to serve and protect. The new girl friend should have laid it on him, do what is right.

Was nothing even remotely original. It was a decent enough read though...but that letter at the end? Did someone force you to write and include that? That truly did ruin it.

I knew this would turn in to a typical BTB story.

The guy is a saint. And a fucken bore in bed.

Then he turns into the BTB avenger with video effects. How original.

And of course we have the obligatory ex wife remorse.

How she lost a great guy. Barf!

I know. She cheated and I hate cheating too. But the main character in this story irked me with his high and mighty attitude. Calling fun sex depraved?

In real she would be glad she left his borring ass.

Cousins? That's kinky. Ha!

Wow...

That last paragraph killed this story. All sympathy I had for the husband went out the window at that point. The girlfriend should just leave him for that alone.

To me, *pepepilot's* feedback, said it all = he didn't care,..."to allow suicide". How would a sane man, a police officer, lose his sense of the motto, their OATH, that police take, "to protect and to serve", and still have a job! His GF should run out of his life, pronto! And report him. He deserves to be FIRED.

There were some things I really disliked:

1. Him wanting to have sex with her after being pretty sure she was cheating;

2. The nonsensical argument against actions speaking louder than words. The actions had spoken loudly and clearly, though some, but not all, of the time the words did as well.

3. It seems unconscionable for a police officer not to, at a minimum, call the police or sheriff to warn of the apparent suicide attempt, though she would probably be dead before he got the delivery.

Good story ruined by the last paragraph. - why so many LW authors feel the need to pander to the hard core BTB faction is beyond me. 1*

And the next sound Jake heard was the door slamming as Kelly beat a hasty exit.

Ignore the whiners... Your ending was great. I've lost a friend and a relative to suicide; they were adults, it was their crappy choice, but they didn't send out letters for attention. He's not responsible for her; it's somewhat patriarchal that he somehow is responsible for her.

The most important sex organ is the brain. Since Stella became brainless I guess she became driven entirely by her clitoris. But she didn't know how great the sex with her cousins would be before she engaged in that sex. So the big question is, Why did Stella decide to fuck her cousins the first time?

Anyway, the ex husband should send the cousins a thank you note. Apparently Stella had already decided to fuck other people, the cousins were simply in the right place at the right time. All's well that ends well. Darwin will be very glad to read Stella's last note. I wonder if anyone will miss her.

Thanks for the effort.

*1 was as high as I could allow. The cop didn't use the incest angle to BTB and the cousins. Rhode Island, Ohio, and New Jersey allow incest as non criminal (Ohio allows except for parental incest)! The story gave no indication as to the state that these events were occurring. With them in jail for those crimes, that would have precluded the last paragraph. I agree with the other commenters, in that, his newest romantic endeavor was most likely toast after the Rhett Butler comment but I understand it and would probably feel the same. Quite frankly, I'd have torn up the letter after reading the 1st paragraph - she meant to cause him as much heart-ache as she could with the letter. Definitely the 5th sentence in the 7th paragraph of her "confession" would have stopped any further reading. So he wouldn't gotten the the part inferring her suicide.

I'm either too old or the world has changed too much. My wife and I both role play. Fantasy. Alternatee dominance. That's between us others cannot participate. She broke the contract . She was evil. There is no reason to expect him to run to her because of a bullshit letter. A lesser man would have put a bullet in her head,as well as her playmates. The definitely didnt need to read her self serving declaration of philosophy.

Loved it. Especially the ending. Well done!

No fucking wonder she cheated on him: he’s a fuckwad.

He’s a cop who had no idea his wife was cheating on him for years. Then you go out of your way to gave her confess everything when there was no reason and if sex with Jake or Paul (orwhatever her husbands name is) is so bad and vanilla, why should she care if they divorce?

And this is what disturbs me, if she is so unhappy in her marriage and her cousins ring her bells on more ways than hubby, why does she want to stay married to him?

And finally the suicide. It is one thing to move on from your ex, it’s another to hate her so much that you want her to die.

That isn’t healthy. Hate is a poison in a relationship and it will destroy any future happiness until you learn to forgive.

I liked this story very much. I was able to understand the characters of your protagonists very well. The thinking of your protagonist is very related to mine. I look forward to more stories from you!

I loved the ending, except that saying that in front of Kelly was stupid. Bad idea -- people who have NOT been cheated on will be all "forgive and forget" and bet upset when you don't. On the other hand, maybe he and Kelly should have it out right there.

The stupid woman took a long time to wake up and by the time she did it was way too late. For heavens sake, she went back to them and did worse things. And for what???

Her enduring guilt killed her, it was the only way out for the piece of shit she allowed herself to become.

Scores 5/5

I think that Kelly might just have lost her interest in Jake. I would not want to be close to such a heartless beast. OK it is the author's story and he has woven an excellent tapestry.

Well, that is one way to completely screw up a new relationship. There is no way a social worker will be able to look at him and not hear those thoughtless and cavalier words over and over. Essentially he derailed the new relationship with words just as thoroughly as Stella did with hers.

That was a very good story. I like that he saw her for what she was and took quick, definitive action to divorce her. Her action was too little, too late and after what she said to her cousins she had no chance for reconciliation. If she was suicidal, that was on her. Not his circus anymore, and not his monkeys.

Good use of the story to clean up some others that you left unfinished. I enjoyed that.

Good story until the end. Howe can a police detective ignore this suicide announcement with a clear conscience?

At least he has to inform someone, otherwise he failed his job.

Good until the last sentence. No use for cold hearted people.

BINGO! Rhett had it right.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Whackadoodle: you're a lunatic and probably a cheater yourself.

Anonymous: It's not cold hearted. Cold hearted is destroying a spouse's life out of boredom.

looking4it: Bullshit. I wouldn't want my partner to run sobbing after some cheating ex even if they were dying two houses over.

The last paragraph ruined the story.

Throughout the story, he’s upstanding, charitable, and respects his relationships. Ignoring Kelly, and not trying to prevent Stella’s death, doesn’t fit his character. Plus, if he truly didn’t care, he’d have stopped reading when he realized Stella wrote the letter.

So it ends with him trashing his relationship with Kelly, and knowing he might have saved a life but chose not to? Totally inconsistent.

A pretty good story till you got to the end. It would have cost him NOTHING to make a call and get someone else to check on her.

This story was a bit of a mess, with the cold case police work having no structural or thematic link to the adultery plot! And the adultery plot itself was just weird, with no emotional charge to it! The whole story was flat and stiffly told! And you way overused exclamation points!

How to kill a 5* story in just one paragraph to barely 3*. If he was such a contentious Deputy Detective and not listening to his social worker new girlfriend - they are negligent in not reporting the letter that he SIGNED for to proper authorities.

/

2.9*, Hooyah...

I like the idea of all the other stories without endings having closure. The last paragraph killed the story and honestly if she is a social worker she believes in the good of people and would not of done nothing. More than likely she would of been pissed at him and walked out.

Comment section is full of Tier 3 subs simping their soul out

At the very least, he just lost Kelly.

Wow to the ending, and I bet his new gf will be leaving shortly as well, even if I agree with him.

If kelly leaves him after knowing the truth then she wasnt the right one she was just the one right now

Ignoring a suicide note? Bullshit. Kelly dumps him on the spot.

Cousins? Seems unlikely. Didn't need to make them relatives.

Glad we found out what happened with the woman at the well.

That's fine, I'm sure you did the best you know how. I would encourage you to keep writing and gaining skill and experience. I miss the normal human decency and instinct not found in most of your characters. The husbands tend to let things fester, or they don't immediately confront and resolve discrepancies they note in their relationships. Sure some of them eventually hire private investigators or plant cameras or some other contrived plot device, but the actions and reactions are almost always mechanical, short sighted, or devoid of emotion.

Then there's the cheating wives, who appear to frequently be victims of Martian Slut Ray. The woman who brought her cousins home to their pool and immediately engaged in monkey sex that ruined her. Or the wife that started fucking the supposedly mentally retarded kid, out of sympathy or something? Then she kills him, and herself, to protect her family from scandal? Like she didn't realize that murder/suicide might be a little bit more of a sandal than fucking some legal age punk once a week? And what's with the wife that gained evidence she and her husband had been defrauded by corrupt private investigators, but as soon as her husband announces his divorce action she goes to hook up with the much younger man who she wasn't fucking but now started fucking because her husband was deceived by her and the PI's? All she did was convince her entire family that she was indeed committing adultery from the very beginning.

I appreciate your effort to wrap up all your incomplete or poorly completed stories, but it was a conference call. You clicked off each story's ending then walked away. I'm not sure I blame you, it would have taken A Lot of effort to end those story's so that they made sense. They didn't. But thanks for the effort.

Enjoyed the tales. Hope to read more o0f this authors stories. LP

Letter was attempt to suck him back in. If it was suicide note she was already dead...

excellent!

The story brought closure to the other stories of this author that I have read. Now with this story the end really needed to have an epilogue where Stella was found dead from suicide and that would have brought closure for all. Well written story. 5 stars

...I cannot believe Kelly would stand for that attitude, it was way too cold. Any normal person after that would have grabbed a jacket and been out the door, calling 911 and saying they’d just read a possible suicide letter.

Unless, of course, she’s cold like that too. Then they deserve each other, and society had better look out for a homicidal serial killing couple.

It was a really good story until the suicidal part. That has no place in any genre

Here's the end of the end of this story.

Jake recognized his ex-wife's ploy. After all...he knew her better than anyone.

He knew she was self centered above everything else.

The letter was a ploy to get him to drop everything and come looking for her to rescue her from the supposed suicide.

He didn't bite.

Kelly was upset. He assured her for over an hour that is ex had not and would not commit suicide. She was a sociopath and just not capable of feeling true remorse or regret.

After an hour Kelly left. He told her that I. The morning he would pass the letter along to some patrol officers to check into her "suicide".

Kelly was very worried. And was reconsidering her feelings for Jake.

In the morning after getting his coffee and logging into his computer at work...he called over a few patrol officers and gave them his ex-wife's letter. They assured him that they would follow up.

They first went to her apartment. They noted that her car was not in the parking spot assigned to the apartment.

They then went to her work...they found her at work. 4 hours into her shift. They asked to speak with her.

She came out about q5 minutes later and immediately asked "where's Jake? Didn't he come to check on me?"

They informed her that he hadn't. Thst he had simply asked them to to a check up on her.

She became very angry (like all sociopaths) about how her plans had been foiled. She was surprised the night before in her apartment when she got no reaction. She had set it all up.

Her front door was open. She had staged her bedroom. A big yet empty bottle of sleeping pills next to her on the bed. Her I a nightgown acting as if she was passed out.

She expected Jake to come rushing over with lights and siren blaring...instead she waited.

First surprised. Then angry. Then depressed.

All she wanted was his attention. Why wouldn't he just accept her needs?!

She finally fell asleep...getting up when her alarm went off...and went to work. Still angry.

Busy at work...she was ecstatic when told that there were police officers there asking about her. She finished her current task as quickly as she could and rushed out...

Only to find two patrol officers whom she didn't recognize. They simply told her they were asked to do a routine check up and report back. That it appeared she was in good health. And they left.

If she hadn't been a crazy sociopath she would have felt some remorse...some regret at this point. Would have felt completely sorry over what she had done.

But she was a sociopath. So instead she was just angry about how she could not control the situation.

No suicide. No real harm. Just a crazy person trying to get attention.

Jake called Kelly later in the day and told her of the patrolman findings.

She realized she had completely misjudged the situation. She should have trusted Jake. She never made that mistake again.

They never heard from the sociopath again. She went back to fucking her cousins.

Okay, first, I really enjoyed the story. For me, at least, you failed in the 'conclusive' way it ended. Perhaps another reader would feel different than I do; in fact, it's likely. I can't help but see the ending as leaving the reader hanging. Was it a suicide note or wasn't it? Second, as a cop, a 'go-getter' cop, there's no way he would have simply turned away. It wouldn't be in his nature. I feel it would have been much better to have him follow up, only to find her dead upon arrival. He would have responded as his new girlfriend wanted, he would have been more in character, and the story would have truly ended. I still gave it 5 stars, though.

Here's a cop with the street sense and Spidey sense to solve old crimes, but no inclination that his wife is a DP slut. all the years of their marriage, she or he hasn't initiated some DP or a little KINK. On the positive side the story is true to the MC in that he has a strong super defined moral compass. He acted on the condom evidence just as you would suspect. He hinted around but didn't confront the cheater and that was consistent with his character. All in all I find the story to be a good diversion to the BTB and the yelling and screaming portrayed by the plac lady. Who by the way came out of the situation "smelling like a rose". BTRH...

Truly a sad tale. Thanks

Ed

Whatever that has gone between them a Police Officer should put the needs of others in front of themselves. Not doing this made him a worse Officer. To try and save a life of a person is an honourable thing even if you detest that person. Yes, she's an idiot, but paid the price. I know how much mental health issues can affect a person oh so well.

A few things here. Firstly it was delivered by a courier. I did not see when the letter was sent. Minutes, hours or days. Thus it may have been too late if it was a suicide attempt. Some have criticised the Officer for saying what he said. However, as the story does not continue he may have changed his mind or as a Kelly is a social worker she may have changed his mind or understanding his mental health issues, she may have gone and have been in a better place to deal with Stella if she was alive. So with the three things potentially happening why are people criticising his off the cuff remark. If the letter was a cry for help, Kelly would be the better person to deal with Stella even if both went to see her.

Sad story, but those saying as a cop, he had a responsibility to try and save her, ignore he tried to make her a loving wife by being a devoted husband. She destroyed that, he's under no obligation to lift a finger. Glad he completely let her go, whatever choices she made.

Closing previous stories? But you really took a cheap way out for those stories, in a lazy way. Again, the double suicide(?) of "Alice" and "Jerry" does not make any sense since "Jerry" has shown manipulative side in the previous story and you have never shown him being depressed as to participate in a suicide. That makes no sense. What makes sense is that you have been a lazy writer on this one.

Second, this particular storyline (the plot with cousins) is not original.

I generally like the way you write and I can see that you have ability to design original plots so why bother with these regurgitated ones? I hope you will improve rather than getting into cliches.

3 stars.

There was no double suicide, it clearly states, murder suicide.

Last paragraph, MC comes across so caring etc, then refuses to act on the suicide note.... don't give that relationship long.

Simon_Masters

No payback for piece of shit cousins

He was a lousy law enforcement officer.

What a lazy ass way to finish the previous stories and to do it with this shipwreck of a story, too.

Your stories start out strong, but end with a whimper. Learn endings!

I liked this story,I like the way you come up with original story lines and I absolutely loved the ending with what a real husband truly would feel and was not ashamed to express"Frankly my dear,I don't give a dam". That Folks Is how a betrayed husband or wife would reply..That's real life..JZK

The note was a plea for help. She may well be suicidal. He could have at least called the cousins or another member of her family or a close friend, even 911. His last statement was inhumane.

I liked the story until the end. I was a Peace Officer for 30 years and no Officer would ignore that plea for help.

If she sent it by courier or post, it takes at least a day to get there. If it were indeed a suicide note, she was already gone.