All Comments on 'Clueless'

No need to bring the ex-wife back to his door step.

And if you absolutely had to, why the heck did he welcome her into his home?

Just say that the boys accepted his invitation and they are becoming solid with their father.

Just another sad boomer story. In the end you got to show your ex-wife that hey I got a new wife & a daughter. But the thing is no one cares. That's what a bitch never understands and the writer of this stupid story sure is nothing but a sad little boomer bitch.

I will say I can't imagine a man just picking up a couple of bags and leaving his house at his wife's request, never to return. Wouldn't he have more than a few things that he wanted? And why acquiesce to his wife's request? By leaving he gives up a lot of his rights. What happened to the stories about his beating his wife? Why would he offer anything but minimum child support? But the biggest question was why would Linda show up in Miami at the end of the story which then ended abruptly? More like it fell of the cliff. Unfinished story to say the least. Nice try but..........

3 stars

...told so pe.dan.tic.ly.

I met A then B, then we went to C, then D happened. Afterward we E, then F, when we went down to G, where we H, then stopped by I. We went dancing at J........ It’s as if Dragnet’s Joe Ironside is telling the story. “Just the facts, mam.”

Because of the story itself, this gets 3-stars.

Why did the bitch show up after twelve years? Guess she went home alone. Very good story about living a great life being the best revenge. Thanks.

i bet she was shocked maybe part 2 ?

so what did the bitch want?

Why did you end it there? The confrontation with the cheating wife and the aftermath of her infidelity are the best part.

Was Linda there to apologise? Did she know about his new wife and daughter, or was she going to try to win him back?

He missed out on 12 years of his sons' lives because she was a cheating whore. Emotions would have been high at seeing Linda again and this could have been a great conversation, where he rubs his success in the slut's face before kicking her out.

This was a great framework for a story, but you narrated almost all of it. You need dialogue to make your characters come alive. Linda only says one sentence to him in the entire story... the same amount as the Dutch prostitute. Freida didn't get a single line, nor did Eva... It's sad that a red-light district hooker was more talkative than the beautiful woman he married and started a family with.

I like his philosophy. You walk along. You get shit on your feet. You scrape it off . You certainly don’t stop and wallow around in it. And you walk on. Very enjoyable read. As always, thank you much.*****

His wife was a skank for sure but he was a total asshole for deserting his kids for 12 years when they needed him as their father. Sorry he has absolutely no redeeming values.

I would love to read more about this Story and Yes I read another story about This ship (I'm too ugly to die) A phrase of words used in that story!

I really liked this Story and I would love to read more about the life on a Love Boat..

5 Stars ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ WOOF!

That was an ending?

Seemed like you just got tired of writing the story and you came up with...this ending?

You could've kept the story going with a little confrontation anxiety between the two, even had a contrite wife trying to apologize for her past actions but realizing too little too late.

You must be American and have no clue about European countries. If you place your story partly in Amsterdam at least try to make it sound good. "frau" is a German word. "(huis)vrouw" would be Dutch. Gretel en Freida are typical German names. Not very popular as girls names in the Netherlands. "Marc" is normally spelled out as "Mark" in the Netherlands. "Evan" is not a very common name for a Dutch boy. The fact that you make them drink Riesling, a very German wine, makes me wonder why you did not choose "Hamburg" for the place of action. Your whole Amsterdam part sounds just wrong.

In The Netherlands it is called a tram

So why was she there? What did she expect?

I liked this story and gave a high score but felt it could have had a bit more at the end.

Your disclaimer about ships and their systems is all well and good, understandable even. HOWEVER, for your protagonist who apparently is a resident of Mississippi, to not know that the name of the university at Oxford, MS is Ole’ Miss not Old Miss is inexcusable. Some things you just have to get right. In the immortal words of Colonel Reb, the longtime mascot of OLE’ MISS, who was dismissed around 2003 as too racist “You done fucked up boy!”

Decent storyline but boring reading, untl the end. There's no explanation of why Linda would reappear.

Your ending felt like it was in the middle of the story, it just stopped. I felt the story was all over the board. There were a lot of great ideals but fell short of developing them.

I really liked it though.

Its a fine plot idea, but the story was an odd mixture of documentary, news report, and very sparse dialogue. Does your word processor charge you more for quotation marks?

Linda sounds like a dishonest self serving heartless bitch. So how did he come to love her and want to marry her, and how did she raise two sons who aren't as worthless as she is?

Why would a man just abandon his sons to be raised by this cheating slut? It should have been Linda who was humiliated into leaving the community. There is LOTS of work for a skilled diesel mechanic, and it pays well. The husband could work and live almost anywhere.

I was also puzzled by all the details regarding his work and the shipping business that added nothing to the main story, I think. Wasn't the main story supposed to be how his marriage failed and how he regained a new and better life with a better woman? That was almost a minor side story. I have no idea what we are supposed to learn from the interlude with Freida, except that she had really large breasts? Had she made a commitment to exclusivity?

It could have been a good story if you had allowed the characters to tell it in their own words, and explain their motivations and choices. And the ending was totally pointless. So now he has his slut ex wife and two duplicitous sons barging in on his happy home, and he invites them in. That's not just clueless, that's stupid. In the end this dumb shit deserves what he gets from the people he allows into his life.

Thanks for the effort. I hope you continue to write and improve.

Good story but incomplete.

He was a wife predator as well and he knew her history when he married her. Then he abandoned his sons to be raised by a trampoline a plague on both their hoses.

Pretty good yarn though

Wow...his response at the end wasn't nearly the revenge it needed to be. And why was she even there? Trying to get him back? Her reaction? You had so much detail in the rest of the story, the ending seemed 'empty '.

Weird ending. The story was ok until the end when it just sort of stopped and there is no real reason for this ending.

That was fun. I wonder what the ex had in mind?

From reading this and your other stories...I see improvement but you need to flesh out your characters just a bit more. Looking forward to your next postings.

...but you ended it right before what might have been the best part.

This read like a laundry list of things I did. No emotion and no real point. I didn't like it or dislike it. So I'm not gonna rate it and drag your score down. Good luck on your future stories

How can a father just walk away from his sons?

First, congrats on the new story. Always a pleasure not to read a cuck story.

At points the story seamed to drag a little but all in all not to bad.

With the ending you gave us, even though you didn't indicate it in the beginning, I am guessing

there is going to be a part two.

Good luck with it.

Who left them without even a goodbye? You don’t think there would some serious anger issues? Abandonment issues? That they would grow up to be healthy, well-adjusted young men without a father figure?

He left his sons and the first time we hear about them is after his life is perfect and then they’re thrown in like an after thought. They didn’t need his money, they needed his time and influence and they didn’t get it. It doesn’t matter how much his lawyer kept tabs on the boys, they didn’t see it. All they saw was a man who left them without any explanation.

So that bullshit ending of yours ruined the whole story, just because you wanted a happy ending.

This was a little too off and stray for me.

I enjoyed it for the most part and liked the spirit of Independence and adventure but leaving his boys seemed a bit drastic and sleeping with married women made him as fucked up as Frank.

Thanks anyway. The ending was weird too.

Story could have gone into a 3rd page. A little more resolution would work.

Honestly, I have no idea why the author thought that including an uninvited Linda in Michael's sons visit was needed, especially since he gave us absolutely no payoff for such a setup.

So many things were over-explained in this story, like Michael's day-to-day work or even how his ex-wife hook up with her lover in the first place, but so many other were left unexplained, like whether or not he and Frieda ever talked about exclusivity or, the big one, why the fuck would Linda blow up her decade-long marriage, which ultimately made her a single mother (never an easy task), with two sons who didn't see their father for twelve years, for some scumbag that was already married. Yes, the number one truth you'll get out of the overwhelming majority of LW stories is that cheating wives rarely make a whole lot of sense, but, even in this context, the thot described here seems to be lacking tremendously. Her dropping in on that Miami trip would have been a great way for her to make some kind of 'mea culpa' to her ex, explaining her (lack of) thinking during that time, and apologizing for screwing up their whole family's life back then. I don't think Linda wasn't aware of Eva and Anna when she decided to tag along (why would her boys kept the fact their dad moved on from her?), but, even if they did, this was mainly an opportunity for us to watch her make amends for her transgressions... An opportunity the author didn't care much for, evidently.

I however like the fact that the MC made absolutely no effort to save his marriage - the wife said "get out"; he said "OK"; and that was pretty much the end of it... brilliant! A very welcome change-of-pace from the usual groveling we continuously witnessed from clueless husbands getting dumped around here. Also, no mopping around from him was a breath of fresh air. Too bad, though, that the author didn't have Linda saying something like "don't you want to know why?" or "don't you want to talk about it?" as Michael left her house and her life... It's also strange to watch Frieda put in no effort whatsoever at trying to salvage what was a two year relationship, barely acknowledging their breakup when he dumped her... And that's where you notice the biggest flaw in this entire story: every single character's seemingly complete lack of emotion. Michael gets dumped by his wife; he barely reacts to it. Sorta cool, at first view, but when he acts the same way after proposing to his new girlfriend and learning that she was also unfaithful, you have to ask yourself whether or not he's a robot. At the very least, a guy who keeps getting cuckolded like he did would ask himself "why the hell am I not enough for the women I fall in love with?" Same goes with Linda - she coldly planned the demise of her marriage to hook up with some stud THE SAME NIGHT SHE KICKED HER HUSBAND OUT OF HER HOUSE, WITH HER KIDS IN THE NEXT ROOMS, and couldn't wait to sign her divorce papers to move her new man in... before promptly kicking him out; it also doesn't look like she was all that broken up by her failed second marriage... Once again: no emotion on display. Add Frieda to the pile - doesn't look like the lost of Michael was all that big of a deal to her. 'Guess he was just an easily replaceable boy toy who serve his purpose after two years. And, the worst offender of them all: the relationship between the MC and his sons. Honestly, who actually believe that mending fences with his children, with whom he hasn't directly interact with in more than a decade, could be so easy? Does anyone really believe that those boys wouldn't feel any resentment towards their father for not being there during their formative years, just because the man happened to sent them postcards once in a while? C'mon now...

I do not dislike your story, author - I just feel it felt, at time, really hollow and incomplete. Crazy to say, especially since I first enjoyed not witnessing it, but a little bit of crying among hurt characters can go a long way. More actual conversations between protagonists would have also be welcome. And that ending... what was the point of it?

It ain't bad, but it could have been great. Still, thanks for the share.

Is there going to be a part 2?

Given the title of the story, after the sentences: " It turns out that I'm not the only sailor in her life. She has two other men sharing her bed the weeks I was at sea.", shouldn't you have written "I was clueless." ?

Nice read, thanks!

I don't see how he calls himself a father when he left his kids for 12 years. Its seems like you divorced them when you divorced the slut.

He ended up having a great life, travel, great jobs, new wife, and very happy. Even gets relationship with sons. Cheating ex has terrible life. Who won?

It was well written but story wise......

Huh? Being a moron and introducing your ex is somehow "not bad"?

So she, completely out of the blue, tells him to leave, and he does. Without any discussion or questions at all. Just another idiot.

This is pathetic. He runs away, leaving his two kids, fools around with married women on the ship, and then the so called author doesn't even end the story? What bullshit. This is where to negative score would come in handy. What a waste of time!

This had the potential to be a good story, however was not written as a story, but a list of things that happened to him.

I get why he would want to get away from Linda if he didn't have children. But how does a father justify leaving a seven and two year old, and not seeing them again? Why would the sons want anything to do with him again after he abandoned them like that?

Both the MC and Linda seemed like morally corrupt characters, but I have to give the edge in that to the MC. At least Linda stuck around and raised her sons, apparently well, as one was pre-med and the other an engineering student.

Boxing day is called that in the UK and Canada. In the US it's merely Christmas Eve then Christmas Day is "boxing day."

Story totally lacks emotions

The story was not really about a "loving" wife. When she told him to leave, he just packed his bags and left, followed by a quickie divorce. No emotion here, nothing about being separated from his minor sons. 70% of the story was about his life as a sailor, mostly technicalities; the family and especially the cheating ex-wife were never mentioned.

Only the last paragraph brings the ex-wife back into the story - again without any emotion. Where they ever in love or had they only shared a rented house and two sons? ⭐⭐⭐

Will there be a chapter 2?

I didn't bother to check whether you got the ship details right (you probably didn't). That is the least of the problems with this story. The big one is that there isn't one true thing in it. I understand it's fiction, but a good story should at least try to create believable characters and a storyline that does not make the reader want to scream BS at the screen.

First, you have made the wife a sociopath, and nothing else. Not only is that not believable, but it's also a cheap and boring excuse for a story.

Second, the husband knows she's a sociopath, and he marries her anyway. That's not clueless, it's deliberately self destructive. Next, when he finds out that she's been lying to her family about how he's been abusing her he does nothing about it. Doesn't confront her, doesn't wonder at who she's cheating on him with (since he knows her MO is to bad mouth and cheat). Again: not clueless. That's insanely detached, and uninterested in his own life. Then, when the wife orders him to leave, he just leaves without a thought. Why should I care about a character who doesn't even care about himself? Then, he abandons his sons to this crazy woman? He isn't interesting or likeable. He's hateful. And then, his sons just take him back into their lives after he's abandoned them, and probably after their mother has thoroughly badmouthed him for over a decade? Get real.

Third, your dialogue is unnatural. Try reading it out loud after you write it.

Fourth, you switch points of view mid-story from first person to third person. At least it appears to be a switch to third person when the cop comes up to her in the cafeteria. If it's still supposed to be first person from the husband, then how would he know what happened since he wasn't there?

Fifth, you change tense in the story. Sometimes you are writing in past tense, and then in the same paragraph you mix in present tense. It doesn't work.

why bring the Ex back into the story and end it that way? not a good story, sorry

Too much narration.

Frieda would be a headmistress, not a headmaster.

@ReadyOne, agreed, blah ending.

I know that I’m supposed to root for the protagonist , but try as I might I just couldn’t like the guy.

A decade of parenting via postcard doesn’t speak well for him in my book, on the contrary. Oh, and he admits to being “the other man“ on multiple occasions while serving as a ship’s officer - so a hypocrite to boot.

At first I thought that the ending was too abrupt but, after going back over Linda's actions before, during and after her marriage to Mike I thought him inviting her in to meet his "new and improved" wife and daughter told Linda where she stood right there and then. I was quite pleased with the handling of officer Frank Bowman for his snake like actions of chasing a married lady and helping destroy two marriages his and Linda's. 5* rating

Ending was wasy awkward. 4

There was hardly any dialog. This was more of a recitation than a story. Not up to your usual standard

2* This was a boring travelogue story, not LW.

I managed to get through, but still waiting for the plot to develop. Afrer he just walked away from his kids, the story flattened to nothing of importance.

The rnding was plsin weird, like the rest of the story had no reason or relevance.

But hey it's your story.

And while you could have expounded somewhat on the very real likelihood of him getting into dire grief messing with a cop.

He could see the writing on the wall and made a clean break.

Not only that he got to experience some great adventures.

Way to go.

Problems with details - Author admits to NOT knowing anything about shipping, then proceeds to give details that nobody cares about anyway.

Then we have readers picking apart the details of Amsterdam, pointing out "errors" that probably maybe one person in a thousand would notice or care about. BTW, the DUTCH may call it a tram, but he's American, why wouldn't he use the term he's familiar with?

What a waste of time! No story, no conversations, no good!

He is nothing but a DEADBEAT father, who the fuck walks away from his sons the was this ass did? Sending child support is NOT being a good FATHER. Waste of time reading this piece shit, he is clueless, completely clueless, you don't abandon your children.

good story, a bit rushed though, too much irrelevant detail and not enough of the actual breakup, too matter of fact rather than the emotional rollercoaster he would have been on

Is there a part 2 in the works see what the ex is up to???

Travelog

The essence of LW, in my humble opinion, is in the change in the marital relationship due to Sweetie’s avdenturous behavior. This offering did have a Hubby who discovered Sweetie partaking in her adventure! That was IT! Hubby beat feet. There were changes for each of them, but their marital relationship just evaporated. Hubby was not happy, who knows how Sweetie felt about being abandoned, but who cares! The tale then took us around the world in various ships! That part had zero to do with their dissolved marital relationship. Interesting that Charlotte has a seaport. Baltimore ... OK ... maybe Charleston? Starts with a CH!

2*

1 star deadbeat dad

Really want to give this a better score. Unfortunately, so many things wrong 🤔 with this story. An example ; we know more details about Frieda than about either of his wives.

Skipping ahead I was glad it only lasted for 2 pages.

Please no sequel. We have a clue, now, and don't want to suffer anymore 😫.

Thanks chas4455.

AMerryman

It was only buttgeyser, poor cop did him a favor by drinking it.

A different story. No big argument after the “We need to talk”. No maneuvering and protecting the assets, cause their were none. He indeed started a new life. How many of us could do that? As for the critics that say he abandoned his kids...let the mother explain why. He still got revenge on Johnny law. Interesting his wife tossed him out once he was broke and homeless. Maybe his dick wasn’t that big after all. A chapter 2 isn’t necessary. But I would have liked another page.

It looks like most everyone did not like the ending. There is always going to be someone that does not like an ending in any story. Perhaps the author left the ending so everyone could finish the story as they wished it to be. That way there is a happy ending for all.

good story I like the stealing his badge and gun part. That proves beyond a doubt he was somewhere he shouldn't have been. He may have been clueless but sometimes you have to look out for your self because nobody else is going to.

Lousy story where I disliked everyone, except the poor sons. Sorry, but boys growing up in a home without a father and with what is obviously a delusional and narcissistic mother are not likely to succeed. The father ignores his sons for 12 of the most important years of their life -- sending them only postcards (OK - he did at least pay child support)? Who took the boys to little league? Taught them to drive? The father does not deserve a happy ending, and I would have felt better if the sons had rejected him as they should have.

Really? Divorce court judges should know this BEFORE they give the wife full custody of the children. The husband is ordered to pay mandated child support, alimony, pay for a house he is not allowed to stay in, provide a car and insurance for his wife, and the list goes on. The husband is nothing more than an ATM. I was not allowed to see my son until he was 14 years old. His stories broke my heart. His mother had a revolving door of boyfriends that mistreated him. He prayed that I would show up like a knight in shining armor, who would save him from the horror that his life had become. Deadbeat dad? Pull your head out of your ass. The only one missing out here was the cheating wife. She got what she deserved.

But then why do the same corrupt politicians keep getting reelected.

And when they don't the replacement is just as bad.

It starts with primaries.

Enough

Story needs better ending. FTDS where are you btb

what kind of dad just leaves his sons in that environment? sorry, not a great story.

Feels like there is.

1 star.

What was the point? He lived a mostly boring life, and abandoned his sons. If I’d only had contact with my dad via postcards, not even a phone call, I would at least hesitate if he suddenly reached out a decade later. I mean, he disappeared on Christmas night, and the ex had plenty of time to mold heir early memories.

This story was not very interesting. Some stories have so much descriptive detail and/or drama the story is frustrating. The lack of detail or drama makes this one a little boring. I don't think any story should be rated under 3* unless it is really bad. This is not a bad story, just a little plain. 3*

This author’s writing style is terrible, and his plot content is uninteresting.

Ugh....

Oh hum!!!

I despise the hostility from the critics that hide behind "anonymous". I understand why some authors will not accept anonymous comments. I didn't think this was a great story. But, it wasn't as bad as some of the anonymous comments indicated. It was a little plain and wasn't as interesting as a seafaring story could have been. Undecided between 3* and 4*. So will give it 4* to offset some of the negativity.

Not as bad as many seem to think, life at sea is mostly boring with moments of fun and brief bouts of sheer terror hoping you survive the next few minutes/hours. Yup, he was not much of a father but sea faring men aren't by occupation - why do you think deployed military have such a very high divorce rate?

/

My issue with this story is the last paragraph was nipped way to short - I wanted to know how Linda reacted. It needed another two paragraphs to tie up that loose ends, so a 5* dropped to 4*.

/

Hooyah, salute... USN-10yrs. CPO

Linda got a shock eh?

I do like that ending! He might have felt clueless when he discovered her betrayal, but she was certainly clueless when she showed up at his door. Good ending!

Why was the slutty ex-wife there?

Wheres the ending?

Good story. AA++

What was the point/plot of this story? Better luck next time.

Actually those praising this monumental waste of internet storage space are sooooooooooooo far off the mark.

Good story, at lease clueless ended up with a happily ever after.

not into stories where the father abandons their children.....so .......nope..... 1 star

I'm not into fathers abandoning their kids, no matter how much child support they claimed to have sent. Where was this supposedly good father when the kids were suffering under their stepfather's rule? Those kids had to raise themselves what with a missing father having a good time living the single life.

Ehhh shit happens. What’s he supposed to do, live in the master bedroom closet and jerkoff to them fucking? Grow up man. Fathers are people too. At least they were taught a valuable lesson, not to abide a cheating slut. If that shit ever happened to my dad, I’d have been happy for him ultimately.

Good story, glad he left and didn't stay just for the kids. My parents stayed together for the kids and it was a fucking nightmare. Parents have the right to move on and have their own lives.

Started well. Did not end well though. Needs closure.

Our hero is presented as smart, accomplished, inventive, and willing to work hard and pay his dues. In other words, a grown up, a man. Then at the very end he displays a petty streak that does not seem to fit his character.

A very good story about a man with principles. Excellent handling of officer Dickwad. This needs a second chapter.

A very good story about a very good man caught up in circumstances beyond his control. He left the situation but not his obligations. LP

He could have had better communications with his sons. He was quite the coward about his ex. He lost many years with his kids. He didn't need to stay with her but he shouldn't have completely cut ties with his sons. This is unfinished.

Scorpio, you claim he was a coward but when you lose it all then comment. Guess you have not been there. Otherwise your just another dimwit

Would just like more of an ending.

Good story with lots of potential, if it were fleshed out a bit more. Parts seemed quite rush, especially the ending.

Not a fan of cut-and-run men. He ran from his boys, and then he ran from a promotion. Nothing particularly admirable about this guy.