All Comments on 'Collateral Damage'

Loved it.

He did well by doing good.

The right way to do it. He knew what he wanted was to keep his assets, but to avoid lawsuit he gave them.away. And never got them back. Sneaky, but still btb.

But the only ones who win in a divorce are the lawyers....everyone else gets fucked long and hard by legal fees, writs, judgements and the like. And where was liver boys lawyer? You’re trying to tell us that he went into a legal battle unarmed and yet owned and ran a very successful business?

Sure. The devils in the details. And you missed out on them trying to get revenge.

Interesting twist and nice payback on Bill. Claire got away with zero repercussions though, so it would've been nice to see her suffer. I'm glad he found a younger woman afterwards though... that would twist the knife nicely.

that may not be a bat to his knees, but it sure was a good kick in the balls.

Not many men have the patience to wait so long to destroy an enemy, but it paid off in the end. Nice twist and more believable than the usual huge law suit for alienation of affections and the big settlement. Nice story.

solid 3*

...5* effort. Thanks.

Congrats on your original story line. 5*

Now that was a wee bit different!

Well played. 5*

Good revenge story with an original plot, how refreshing.

But letting Claire get off without any sort of payback or showing regret for her actions made the story mediocre at best. Nice try but it takes two for infidelity to occur.

Words

I've been around the block a few times and watched many a sunrise, the problem I had was it didn't matter where I went this statement never happened, They were told that a situation had arisen that required their attention and could they please attend a meeting on Tuesday afternoon at 10 AM. I think that 10AM always comes before afternoon.

Other than that great story.

Very original. Thank you.

I gave the story 4 stars only because it left a lot of questions about why the wife would start an affair if the new partner only gave her vanilla sex. I guess there is no good reason but there should be more than what she said caused it. The revenge was great, it aloud the protagonist to screw himself over his fears of loosing the law suit and did it all on his own. Revenge plot deserved 5 stars.

A nice story nicely told and with a new variant of revenge! Good vengeance campaign!

for creativity, but the asset transfers would be voided under the Statute of Frauds. The statute dates from the time of Elizabeth and is on the books in every state.

Them just showing up at the attorney's office without knowing why was really the only shark jumping I noticed. Good idea, though!

Took off a star as Claire was just a side thought. Other than her crying a bit in the office there was no confrontation, really, and no remorse or damage. It was all about getting back at Bill - which I enjoyed. I like how he ended up but it took two years.

It was an average LW story, but I was expecting more based on the title. I was expecting an in-depth study of how divorce affected other members of the family and friends. This didn't even mention the divorce except to slide over it in the end.

This was all revenge, no collateral damage was even mentioned. 3 stars.

Thank you.

Good little story that one, enjoyed the different and novel revenge plot.

Very nice, quick story. Nice that the kids has the moral sense their dad lacked.

These guys spend their whole life fooling around.

I really enjoyed this story. I liked it not only for your unusual revenge, but for your accurate depiction of.middle aged cheaters. There were no 55 year old babes passing for 35 , and no hot studs. You described them as slightly overweight, middle aged people doing bland, loveless , middle aged sex. It didn't sound hot at all, just another day, another dick. You can tell a story as well as anyone writing for LW, and I always get what I expect from you. Thank you.

Claire was a character we knew little about. The other players seemed plastic and unmotivated. Easy to lose interest when the characters are just going through the motions (even the sex was portrayed as dull.)

Great story!

5

Talk about cliché. Empty nesters, PI, Martyr husband, Alienation of affection, Evil man seducing married women, etc, etc.

Nicely written, but a BIG letdown. The author doesnt like BTB, understandable. But at least those offer some form of entertainment. This story is just BLAND.

This is one for the books!

Original, perhaps lacking in whatever.........

Still, for originality, bravo!

Just don't tell me you belted this one out within a measly lunch hour - I would not believe it in any case.

This is where the rubber meets the road! Short and sweet----BTB/RAAC? None of the last mentioned, justice all in all. Slow burn, like S365 vs S385 - that's it my Man!

Nice idea and excellent long term revenge.

Clever! Thanks.

It worked well. His revenge worked and seemed a feasible idea.

I liked how his wife and her lover were called to a meeting at the lawyer's office together. Beyond that it was maze of jumbo as you held Bill's feet to the fire. I think crushing his balls would have been a better ending.

When one paragraph ends with a quotation mark and the very next one starts with a mark, that indicates the character speaking has changed. When one character is speaking and is not uninterrupted by narrative or another character talking, every paragraph starts with a mark, but only the last one has a closing mark. You wrote the daughter's speech to him -- a monologue -- as a dialogue.

Of course, as you know I like revenge.. LOL

Good job *****

even tho it costs a little more, BUT the pay backs and payoff are more conducive to the premiums paid. TK U MLJ LV NV

A delightful read .

I find it interesting that court ordered counselling would be ordered when one party has been indulging in an affair for the past 2 years . You would think that a judge , worthy of the title , would recognize that the deceit and humiliation would be too much to just get over . She had given up on her marriage so why not put it to rest ?

Can these divorce laws and rules get any more crazy ?

I'm some writer on here will further enlighten us .

5 *

I liked it 5* worth.

One of the best revenges against an arsehole that I have read.

The problem with it lies in the assumption that Bill never spoke to an attorney to find out his rights. The "alienation of affection" suit would have gone nowhere in a Court of law. So Bill would have just kept plugging along with no worries.

Enjoyed the different take on revenge, thanks.

How does a loyal loving wife turn into a selfish cruel bitch, for two years, and the husband never confronted her about her change in attitude and behavior? She was fucking for two hours once a week, but it apparently gutted her entire marriage relationship. So what was the husband gaining by being timid and dithering? Maybe that's why the bitch sought out an alpha male? Too bad it wasn't a decent man she could turn to after first divorcing the husband she came to scorn and disdain. Glad the husband's life turned out so well. It would have been interesting to hear on what basis the cheating slut thought she could reconcile her marriage. I know, that's a lot of extra work and not what you had time or interest in.

Still, thanks for the effort. It was a good story.

It moves right along with a steady hand on the tiller, but the plot is full of holes and the legal maneuvering is pure fantasy. Here's the real problem for writers of divorce and revenge: They always become stories of legal wrangling. Face it, guys. In the real world, the husband is lucky to come out of the divorce meatgrinder in one piece and usually takes it hard in the ass. Feel-good stories like this one are just sunshine and lollipops.

No matter how good the story , use alienation of affection as a plot point and you get a one star rating. Your story hinged on a lawsuit that probably could not be filed, with a paper threat to boot. It isn't murder. If your story was set in one of the nine states where it is still possible to sue for a of a, there is still the matter of timeliness.

No soup for you!

R.

people let it go!!! who cares about the alienation of affection!!! It's FICTION! lol I would have loved to have read how the kids responded to how their mother cheated for 2 years though. thanks!

I no his wife didn't really suffer but I loved that Bill got everything coming to him.

Nice little twist. I enjoyed the story.

A different spin versus the normal revenge story.

Thanks for writing and sharing.

..I liked the story...thank you...*****

That once the divorce is started, the wife suddenly finds she can't live without him.2 years of distancing, disrespect, lying and betrayal doesn't speak to her having any love for this man.

Not too shabby, Abby. The bear approves.

The BEAR

Liked it a lot. Thanks

with J_W on that. You don't matter until they get those papers in their hands. Then they love you and only you

Another marriage bites the dust. Surely the wife should have suspected her husband had found out about her affair. A couple of things though...

(1) Why should she be upset with a divorce?

(2) Was all the excitement based on the infidelity part of the relationship?

(3) Was the excitement in sneaking around or pulling something over on your spouse nonsense?

The worst part for the spouse that was cheated on is trying to figure out what went wrong.

I like that storyline very original. Thanks for sharing.

A good story with an original story line which makes a nice change⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Good story, but what about their kidsv

That's how to make him suffer. Long term and perpetual.

A 4*, only because he made him pay, sort of. The true BTB would have been better, but....

Great story, original ! 5 stars

somewhere east of Omaha

It does matter who he messed with, if it's another married woman.

Why would Hubby NOT pay his lawyer at the end? The lawyer said he would do it for FEE! Was that a typo, a Freudian slip or a very clear (but massively under-detected) pun? Yeah, J.W. go anead and claim that last option!

Great tale, by the way!

@Lickideesplit - Oops, that's a typo.

Hey, I woulda claimed it was something a lawyer would say … and kept the office video of having said it!

Very prettily played 😊

Your beginning paragraph rings so true. Been there.

Great story - well thought out and presented

Read again, the line about a spouse who didn’t care suddenly seeing the marriage as the most important thing is particularly insightful. You should explore more, maybe I will too. Great story.

If you are being sued, there is nothing wrong with giving any of your owned assets away to family! Those assets would have gone to your heirs when you died, so why let some weasel trying to sue you over none thing get your assets! In the US, there are way too many law suits over insignificant events going to court. Example your tree branch extending over your neighbour’s property or your privacy fence is too high which prevents your nosy neighbour from watching your under age teenage daughter suntanning in her bikini.

AAAAAA+++++

What a bizarre story to rely on the fairy tale of avoiding asset forfeiture by selling them to family for cheap. How stupid do you think judges are? Hint: they aren't.

No court would allow it. The judge would appoint the appropriate appraisers to determine its market value.

The only hiccup is the time delay, but explaining the humanitarian angle of sparing the dying wife anguish is more than a plausible excuse.

I know this wasn't the original intent in the story, but the line "I never got a dime from Bill and contrary to Burt's promise," kinda implies he tried.

interesting concept and your epilogue

I love happy endings

don't understand why he allowed her to fight the divorce. He stated he would change the reason to adultry and share the details, and then you have him wimp out. Being cheated on and betrayed for two years and he does nothing when she fights the divorce?

I like it. Sometimes satisfaction is worth more than money. He may not have profited by sueing Bill but , indirectly, he took Bill for everything he had. Brilliant.

As the old saying goes, 'There is more than one way to skin a cat'. A saying that Bill learned the hard way. Thanks for your tale!

somewhere east of Omaha

Nice twist on burning the asshole with collateral damage by getting him do do it to himself

5* Revenge is a dis best served cold. Henry's response, cold hearted, is understandable given the long time over which Claire had been sidelining him. She lost her marriage and realised that it was to a man who probably, judging by his later activity, never particularly cared for her. As you say, it is surprising (in LW) how " you somehow become the most important thing in her life again" when it all blows up. Thank you for a clearly written and believable story.

Clever ending!! I don't think the cameras accidentally left in the room would wash, but its a story

congratulations. very good story with a separation and a divorce without hatred but inevitable.

Your recovery on the lover was very original and ingenious.

Loved it! Another cracking writer to add to my favourites well done.

Good story

Very little on payback against Claire, who cheated for two years. Should have been more on the break up of the marriage and the kids.

I seem to recall the aforementioned boat mishap, old age Works against me somewhat so I don't remember the particulars, but I do remember the incident.

This rich guy doesn’t get his own lawyer to tell him that alienation of affection suits go nowhere. Come on. The whole revenge is premised on a rich businessman who would have to be familiar with lawyers to not get one when he needs it most. Stupid

5 stars - the ASSHOLE got what he deserved and thankfully, without any violence.

The SLUT however got off relatively unscathed. Just a couple of lines explaining how she is living in a one room apartment with 5 cats for companionship and a view out her window at the next tall building. There should have been more consequences, rather than him just living a good life.

Although, that does end up being long-term pain, for short-term gain.

Claire was just a vapid plot device for the legal chicanery. Interesting arbitration tactics.

Loved it. Justice. Thanks.

Great story to read again. Just-Words tells the best short stories in all of LW.

Great story

Intricate burn. Claire was indeed just a plot device, but then she wasn't really anything important to thebstory beyond a motivation for the MC to get even with Bill.

Masterfully done!! 5/5!

Good story. What would I do different? Don't listen to me, but Bill was an asshole, whereas Claire was simply a weak woman. It seems to me in these stories that the man is always an asshole, so I'd rather he were merely some ordinary schmo--maybe even an otherwise good guy--with this particular weakness or inclination. That's just me (the schmo, well maybe a bit of an asshole too) talking.

Utterly brilliant concept and written exceptionally well. 5 stars isn't enough for this story. The slimeball lost everything and maybe ended up living in poverty in his old age depending on how angry his children felt to him which was really effective justice. I'm not sure the other wives deserved not to be busted their husbands didn't deserve bring kept in the dark but the whole story is about limiting the damage caused by betrayal. BardnotBard

Great story, J_W, thanks for sharing. Nice little twist, exposing Bill as a total a-hole in front of his own kids.

Thanks again. 5 stars

Both got there payback , was very well written and thought out , I enjoyed the story

ok, but Claire git off too easy.

Nice btb of Bill. Crafty. Who cares about Claire. She was a plot device. She barely had any on page moments. Besides was a two year long affair. Who cares? 5 stars.

I used to collect bills in Florida and they have laws which prohibit someone from transferring assets to avoid prosecution or paying a debt. Some people used to put their vehicles in a poor old mother's name but they would drive it everyday, pay the insurance, registration, all kinds of things. These are what was needed to prove that the vehicle was owned by the one indebted. It takes research but it can be done.

"You don't deserve to walk among decent men." The sick and weak must perish. This, too, is the order of nature.

There was no real collateral damage. Collateral damage was if they went hard at Bill while his wife was alive, hurting her.