All Comments on 'College Swimming'

The backstory didn't make sense. The guy is 18 and a freshman. The girls are 20 and Lisa, at least, is an experienced swimmer - what is she doing in a class used to fulfill college requirements? And what was this about the swimming season being over? At the collegiate level it is a winter sport.

They are about to have sex:

I had second thoughts about this.

I blurted out, "Wait a minute, couldn't we get in trouble?"

She answered, "Nope, we're two legally and consenting adults. Aren't we?"

I added, "We sure are"

You are a virgin and when the girl is hot for your dick your question about "getting into trouble" has to do with pregnancy, not statutory rape

Fiction is always better the closer to what might possibly be true the author can make it.

I love your dialogue, but please ditch the speaking tags which don't add info, like "Lisa said", "Lizbeth responded", etc. They detract from the reading. It's okay if they add more info, though, like "sighed happily".

I've read better stories by 12-year-olds. There's so much wrong I don't know where to begin to help you write better stories.

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