Coming Clean Ch. 04

"Well, I suppose you're right," Brian conceded. It was amazing that even after last night, after confessing fantasies to Brenda about the two of them being lovers, that her son could still demonstrate such reservation. It said a lot about him, not only about his lack of sexual experience in general - Brenda had to constantly remind herself that despite being twenty-two Brian was still a virgin - but to his sensitive nature in general. Brian wasn't like Kyle any more than she was like Jackie.

Brian left to get the hot tub ready while Brenda got changed. As she began, Brenda happen to notice the cherry red outfit that Jackie had bought her was still lying on the chair where she had left it the night before. Brenda took it in her hands, again taken aback by how skimpy it was, especially the G-string bottom. Out of curiosity though, Brenda decided to try it on.

"My god Jackie, what were you thinking?" Brenda thought as she looked at herself in the mirror. Not that she looked bad; in fact she was quite pleased with how well outfit flattered her flat tummy and curvaceous behind, but the idea of parading around her all but naked ass in front of Kyle and Brian... then again, Jackie had also proposed the idea of them surprising their sons, as she put it, wearing nothing but a couple of naughty smiles, so wearing this outfit wasn't probably wasn't that crazy coming from her. Brenda moved around a bit in front of the mirror, trying to see how she looked from different angles. Luckily, she'd kept herself clean shaven, as anything more than that would probably be awkwardly visible wearing something like this.

Brenda was about to change back into the outfit she'd worn last night when she could once again hear Jackie's voice telling her how great she looked and urging Brenda to keep it on. Not that Brenda didn't take pride in how well she'd maintained herself over the years, but something like this really wasn't her style. It had the flamboyancy of something Jackie would wear, someone who more of an exhibitionist like her friend clearly was. Still, Brenda had to consider that maybe for today this would be the right outfit, since she'd just finished telling Brian that it was okay for him to wear nothing at all. Brenda took one last look at herself in the mirror, once again feeling that sense of anxiety in her stomach that had gripped her earlier. This was definitely taking her out of her comfort zone...

Brenda left her room and went out to the hot tub area. Brian wasn't there, but she could see him over in the kitchen area, working on something. He was wearing one of the same white, complimentary robes that Brenda had worn last night.

"What cha up to Brian?" she asked, calling out to him.

"Just making us some drinks," he replied. "I didn't think you'd want more champagne, especially at this hour, but I found some Bailey's and thought some Irish coffee might hit the spot."

"That sounds great, Brian."

"The hot tub is ready. Go relax and I'll meet you there in a bit, Mom."

Brenda did as she was told, immersing herself slowly into the hot, steamy water and lying back with her eyes closed to allow it's healing properties take over. A few minutes later Brian appeared, bringing their coffees over on the same silver tray that Kyle had used to serve them last night.

"Here you go, Mom," Brian said, handing Brenda her coffee.

"Hmm, this is delicious," Brenda smiled back after taking a sip. "When did you get so good at making drinks? You've never done anything like that at home."

"There are lots of things you learn in college, and not all of them are things you find on a syllabus."

"Evidently not," Brenda chuckled back. "It's been a lifetime since I was there, but I guess I should have known better."

Brian moved down to set his drink down next to the side of the tub, then stood up again to loosen the belt that ran around the waist of his robe. Brenda did her best not to stare, but she made no attempt to look away either. As for Brian, he looked slightly away as to not make eye contact with her, but did his best to remain calm and nonchalant. Both of them knew that the more normal they acted about the situation, the more normal it would be, although Brenda could still sense a bit of nervousness in Brian that he hadn't managed to conceal.

Brenda looked up casually as the robe opened then landed on the floor. While Brian still gazed away with his eyes the rest of him faced her directly. The first thing to notice was how much he really had gotten into shape - the Brian she knew had always been lean but more on the spindly side. His frame had really filled out this year, giving him a more muscular, chiselled physique. He must have gained around fifteen pounds, and all of it in the right places.

And then there was the elephant in the room, or maybe elephant's trunk would be a better name. Brenda did not stare, and certainly did not want to react with anything like the shocked gasp Jackie had given last night, but even in her peripheral vision it was hard not to want to focus on the thick shaft pointing down between her son's legs. Even being completely soft like this Brenda had to guess it was at least six inches. The last thing Brenda considered herself to be was a crotch watcher, but one would have to be blind and dumb not to be impressed, or at the very least distracted by such a sight. No matter though, since a few seconds later Brian was settled in facing Brenda from the other side of the tub, with the white, swirling water churning around his waist.

"Nice, isn't it?" Brenda smiled contentedly through the bits of steam that had coalesced around her face.

"Really nice. They have something like this at the campus gym, but I hardly ever use it."

"Why not? I would think that after a workout would be the best time to go."

"Because it's so busy. Sometimes, I work out really early in the morning, and then I'll go. The rest of the time, it's not worth it."

"I would have thought the opposite to be true. Why go when it's empty when you could be surrounded by bunch of cute college girls?"

"Mom...." Brian said, mildly sighing in frustration.

"What?" Brenda asked. "It's a fair question. All those young, pretty girls at school, and not one caught your eye?"

"It feels a little weird talking to you about this stuff is all," Brian said.

"Maybe so, but after everything that's happened, I think if there's anyone you should be talking to, it's me. You want me to understand you better, to know what you've been going through. Then this exactly the kind of stuff you should be willing to talk about."

"Okay, fine, maybe a few have caught my eye, but nothing ever came of it."

"Ever?" Brenda asked, sounding both a little surprised as well as dejected.

"I mean, a couple of months ago I was at a house party and met a girl who was kinda cute..."

"And?" Brenda asked.

"And nothing. We were both pretty drunk and ended up in a room... you know."

"No, I don't know," Brenda said with a growing frustration. "If you really want me to be open with you Brian, then you can't hold back either."

"Okay, fine," he conceded. "We ended up on a couch and were making out a little and petting too. Her hand goes into my pants and pulls 'it' out and then she starts getting snarky all of a sudden, saying things like, 'You better not expect me to suck on that...'"

"Are you serious?" Brenda asked. "I mean, I'm sure you know most women aren't like that, Brian. You might... take some of them by surprise at first, but that's about it. After that, other instincts would kick in and everything would be fine, especially if you've been considerate with her up until that point."

"I know, don't worry, it's not like I've been emotionally scarred or anything like that," Brian replied with a slight chuckle. "Honestly, I don't even care."

"Was that the first time..." Brenda nervously asked. "I'm sorry, I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable, but I am curious to know just how far you've gone."

"That was it, right there," Brian replied.

"I'm sorry, Brian. These should be the years that a young man learns about himself, about love and life, about women..."

"I've learned everything I need to know," he interrupted. "I didn't care about that girl, and I know I could go out and get laid without too much trouble if I put my mind to it, but that's not what I want. I do want to learn about those things you talked about, more than anything, but there's only one person I want to share those experiences with."

"Me," Brenda said, her voice dropping the word with a thud.

They sat in awkward silence for a moment, before Brian tried to remedy the situation by changing the subject.

"Oh geez, I forgot to put the whipped cream in our coffees. Here, let me fix that."

"No, no Brian. I'll go."

Brenda was feeling a bit stunned from their conversation and welcomed the chance to distract herself for a few minutes. Besides, the whipping cream was back in the kitchen and she wasn't sure that she wanted to see Brian naked again right now.

Brenda got out of the tub, and in her state of confusion didn't even realize that now Brian would be getting his first view of her outfit. In fact, it wasn't until she heard the startled muffle from his direction then turned to see the stunned look in his eye before she knew what had happened.

"I'll be right back," Brenda said turning towards the kitchen. She kept looking forward as she went, wondering what Brian was doing, but knowing the answer all along because there could only be one answer. With only the tiniest bit of a G-string to cover her modesty, there wasn't any chance his eyes weren't glued to her bare ass as she sauntered off. Brenda felt a tinge of embarrassment at being so exposed, but another feeling soon took over as she could now feel her heart beating faster and faster, and as that wave of excitement took hold she found herself wiggling her ass a little more than usual for the rest of the walk. She'd tried to tell herself that it wasn't supposed to be like this, but too much had changed for Brenda these past few months. She had tried to better understand Brian's incestuous desires for her, not get caught up in those feelings herself, but after everything that had happened, including watching Kyle and Jackie have sex only a short distance away, it was clear that whatever possessed him to be this way was part of her psyche too.

Brenda went to open the refrigerator and retrieve the can of whipped cream, only to see that doing so would require her bending all the way over at the waist. Was Brian still watching? He would still be able to make her out from this distance if he was watching closely, which Brenda was convinced he would be doing. Once again Brenda felt as if she were being commanded by forces unseen as she bent down to pick up the can, holding the pose there for several seconds as she pretended that she needed that extra time to find it.

Brenda made her way back to her son, who made little effort to conceal that he'd been looking in her direction since she had left him. He was still trying to not react but doing an even worse job than before, and Brenda had little trouble following his eyes that were darting back and forth between small strips of fabric that were barely holding her B-cup breasts in place and the red triangle of the G-string that just managed to cover her womanhood and little else.

"Um... quite the outfit," he managed to say sheepishly.

"Oh, that's Jackie again."

"I might have guessed," Brian replied with soft chuckle. He'd succeeded in regaining his composure, but Brenda could still detect the look of excitement in his eyes that was hiding beneath the calm surface.

"So, Aunt Jackie bought that suit for you?" Brian asked, still clearly taken that Brenda would wear such a thing. Brenda topped their drinks with the whipped cream, then settled back into the tub opposite Brian.

"Yeah, it's more her style than mine, you might say," Brenda added, trying to lighten the mood. "If I even have a style."

"You have a style, it's just very different from Aunt Jackie's," Brian asserted. "She's more the tall, glamorous..."

"Sexy," Brenda added.

"There's different kinds of sexy," Brian countered. "Sure, she's more 'fashion model sexy, or maybe bikini model sexy. Most of runway models look so underweight to me, I doubt many of them have Aunt Jackie's curvaceous look."

"Or have boobs the size of melons," Brenda added with a chuckle.

Brian was a bit startled by the comment, which made Brenda chime in again.

"It's okay, I'm used to it by now Brian. Remember, I've known Jackie since college. Me and my petite 5'2'' self, going out to the bar with 5'9'' bombshell Jackie... needless to say she got most of the attention from the boys, both wanted and unwanted."

"You shouldn't sell yourself short like that, Mom."

"I could literally sell myself short like that," Brenda laughed. "Like seven inches short. And now with you and Kyle both being over 6', walking around with you three is like being in the forest."

"Like I was trying to say before, there are different types of sexy. Aunt Jackie has more of that glamour model sexiness."

"And me?" Brenda teased. The combination of the hot tub and alcohol had certainly mellowed the mood considerably, and both of them had a very relaxed demeanor, tinged with just a bit of sensuality.

"You have..." Brian paused, trying to come up with the right words, "you have that sexy mom vibe."

"I don't think I've heard of that," Brenda said.

"Sure you have, it's part of that whole MILF thing," Brian said, actually sounding a little embarrassed. "I don't like using that term though, it just sounds very cheap to me."

"Then how would you describe it?" Brenda asked.

"Umm..." Brian started. "He lay back a bit farther against the tub, the look of serenity overtaking him further as the hot water swirled around him.

"First and foremost, 'Sexy Mom' is a great mother. She loves her kids more than anything and would do anything for them. She may be tough on herself at times, too tough even, but it's only because she loves her kids so much and wants to do right by them. She may be tough on them too, but in the end always has a kind and nurturing heart."

"That sounds pretty nice," Brenda smiled back, feeling pretty relaxed herself now.

"But she lives a hectic lifestyle, working and looking after the kids, and her husband isn't doing much to be supportive either, or caring much about her needs."

"Her needs?" Brenda asked quizzically, sensing that this had been a key phrase in Brian's description.

"Yeah, physical, emotional, psychological... that sort of thing."

"Sexual?" Brenda asked.

"Yeah. Love, sex, intimacy, passion, all of those things. She's a beautiful, incredibly desirable woman, both inside and out, but the only emotional satisfaction she gets is that of a parent for her children. Anything more 'adult' has been deprived for her for a long, long time."

"Sounds kinda lonely, even tragic," Brenda observed, dropping the mood in the room to being more serious.

"I guess you're right. Maybe that's why I don't like the MILF label, basically I hear it used to describe any older woman who's horny. Sexy Moms are a lot more than that to me."

"Well, keep going then," Brenda prodded.

"Okay, well, like I said, her husband isn't doing much. He might be a bad guy, or maybe just not up to the task, but he's not around much, and even when he is he's not helping any. And so Sexy Mom takes care of her own needs. Maybe she has one night stands when she meets a guy, or even girl sometimes, or maybe she's not that type so she does other things like flirt a lot, or maybe she keeps to herself but likes to fantasize. There really is no set definition."

"But you said I had 'Sexy Mom vibes.' Obviously, you have a reason for believing that."

"I have lots of reasons, you gave one of them yourself when you talked about going out with Aunt Jackie back in college. Sure, most of those guys would have been after her, but that's because they were only looking to get laid. That's her vibe. But anyone who was there to actually meet someone would have been drawn to you instead."

"Interesting..." Brenda mused.

"Women like Aunt Jackie buy revealing outfits to get people's attention, and women like you wear Mom jeans even though you know pull off just about any outfit too.

"And that's sexy?" Brenda chuckled.

"Sure, in its own way," Brian answered.

"And so how does her story end?"

"After years of a cruel, loveless marriage, it ends with her discovering love with her eighteen year old son. It's a shock to her at first, as she's tried her best all these years to be a good mom and worries that being his lover would betray those efforts, but in the end she understands that pursuing this new relationship would only add to the strength of their previous one."

"You make it sound so easy," Brenda replied with a sardonic chuckle.

"These past few months have made me look back a lot at those years, much more than I would have cared to," Brenda continued. "They were easily the darkest years of my life, full of stress and anxiety. The thought of having my own affair would have been inconceivable to me then, so hearing that you wished we were having one came as a complete shock to me; my mind couldn't even process such a thing. It took me a long time to understand where you were coming from. That you thought you might heal some of that pain I was going though as a son, and the rest of it as a lover."

"The biggest regret I have in life was not having the courage to make it happen. I tried to, so many times..."

"I know, Jackie told me. The day that Ted finally walked out on us and I locked myself in my room for two days was easily the lowest point in my life, and like you, she's a dreamer thinking that all my problems would been solved if you and I had simply hopped in the sack."

"Solved? No, but at least we would have faced them together. That's all I really wanted from you at that point."

"And that's where I'm blame. I should have allowed you into the healing process, but instead I shut you out. I felt like such a failure at that point that I was too ashamed to even take care of my own son. I'm not the great mom you talked about in your 'sexy mom,' story, far from it."

"You tried your best..." Brian started.

"If we're really going to come clean with each other, Brian, then you can't sugar coat the truth anymore. I treated you awfully, and you should blame me for it. And I deserve your response to my behavior, even if it's something I never could have seen coming in a million years."

"It must have been hard on you Brian," she continued, her voice growing empathetic again. "I'm glad you at least had Kyle to confide in. Was he the only one who knew what you were feeling?"

"Actually, there was someone I came close to telling..."

"Really? Who?"

"Mrs. Harrison."

"Your high school English teacher? You almost told her?"

"Yeah, I got along really well with her. It was uncanny the way she'd know what I was thinking..."

"Sad that she could read you back then when I never could. Pretty lady too, from what I remember, although she seemed a bit too old to be wearing those quirky glasses and plaid skirts."

"Sexy English Teacher vibe," Brian laughed. "Yeah she had a fair amount of that."

"Did you find her attractive?" Brenda could not resist asking.

"I mean, yeah, in her own way she was attractive, although I liked her more as a mentor than anything else."

"So what happened?"

"We had an assignment where we had to take a fable and rewrite it into something more personal story. I chose one about a bird and a flower. I can't remember much from the original version, and there might be more than version too, but I remember what I wrote very well. Anyway, when it came time for her to hand back our papers Mrs. Harrison didn't give me mine. I went to her desk and asked for it and she told me to meet her back in the classroom after school to talk about it."