Common Law

I can't help it if my eyes light up. Ribs are my absolute favorite, and I'm going to treat myself. Possibly to an unhealthy extent, if I'm being honest with myself. "Well, looks like Lauren's into it," she teases me.

"Sounds good to me," Whitney agrees. "I hope this place is good, last time I went on vacation and got brisket it was bone dry." Both Jess and I have to stifle giggles as dirty puns and innuendos jump to mind. "Oh you two, get your minds out of the gutter," Whitney laughs, clearly reading our thoughts.

"At least its not bone dry in here!," Jess throws back, sending all three of us into fits of laughter. When we finally calm down, I notice that the men are beckoning us in to get ready for dinner. "Aw man," Jess complains. "I was just getting used to the water. Oh well, dinner calls, and that's the best reason to get moving that I've ever heard."

When we make landfall, it seems our friend Joe has finally arrived as well. "Well that makes the whole college gang doesn't it?," comments Jess as we grab towels. "I was beginning to wonder if you'd show, Joe." She smiles at her own rhyme, like the lovable dork she is.

"Had to pick up some stuff from my parent's. How are things out here? It sounded like you girls were having a good time out there."

"You could say that. Oh hey babe, what's up?" Sam strolled up with Kyle in tow, awkwardly fidgeting with his pocket. Oh no, I hope that isn't what I think that is. Ever since Jess had told me Sam was 'organizing' a trip for all us, I'd had a bad feeling about it, and now it was playing out in front of me.

It all seems like slow motion as he pulls something out of his pocket and starts to go down on one knee. Nooooooooo! "Jessica, will you marry me?" There it is. The big question. The dreadful life sentence in Sam's disgusting frat boy prison I'd been worried about for Jess since they started dating.

Just like in the lake,I catch a brief glimpse of melancholy flit across Jess's face as their eyes meet. Maybe it's just my imagination though, considering her answer. "Yes!"

I feel sick to my stomach. Jess can't marry him! He's such a fuckboy! I try to keep a smile on my face, knowing there's probably someone taking photos, and despite my sadness, I can't ruin Jess's big moment. Even though my best friend is being snatched away from me.

"Sorry Lauren," Whitney whispers in my ear. "Looks like we may be stuck with him after all."

Chapter 3 -- The Celebration

I stew internally while I pick at what's left of the ribs. It's a good thing I was so hungry, and they were quite excellent, otherwise I probably couldn't have stomached a thing. I feel like I've been stabbed in the gut, by my closest friend.

I know Whitney can tell, and maybe Dean and Joe too, but I don't care. As long as Jess can't tell, it won't ruin anything for her, and she's who really matters. But goddamn, does it suck. My mind wanders to when Jess first met Sam. It was a hookup after a party that I didn't go to. He had woken up before Jess, and had proceeded to eat all of my poptarts. Bad first impression, even not considering the fact that I was more or less stone cold broke throughout college. I feel a frown form, remembering the incident.

Suddenly, I'm startled by a hand on my arm. "Hey bestie, everything okay?" Jess has a concerned look on her face, and I know immediately she can tell I'm upset. It doesn't stop me from trying to play it off. I want happy Jess, not sad Jess.

"Oh, I was just spacing out sorry!"

She's not convinced, but thankfully doesn't press the issue. "I think everyone's more or less ready to go, grab a take out box and let's get outta here!"

"You don't look so good," Whitney quips as we pile into Joe's car. I frown at her, which obviously isn't enough to stop her follow up: "Don't grimace at me young lady, I can tell you're upset."

I sigh, and pull my knees up in front of me. "Can't we talk about it back at the cabin?"

Whitney shakes her head. "Nope, we're having a spontaneous group therapy session in the car, right now. So spit it out!"

I try to give her Jess's patented pout, but that only seems to work on me. "Fine, you want me to spit it out," I snap at her as Joe starts the car. "I don't think Sam is good for Jess and I don't think they should get married."

"You're not the only one," Joe pipes up from the front. "No, you aren't," Whitney confirms. "Although I think you're taking it harder than all of us. So why is that huh?" I glower at her, although I do feel vindicated by their support.

"I mean, Jessica's our friend," Joe points out. "But she's way closer to Lauren than us. You know," he continues sheepishly. "I kinda thought you guys were a thing before Sam showed up." WHAT?! I'm shocked speechless

Whitney suddenly begins laughing. "You know, I got that vibe when we first met too! They still do more stuff together than with anyone else" I open my mouth to object, but stop when a rush of memories leaves me dumbfounded. Whitney laughs even harder, but I'm too deep down memory lane to care.

Vacations, living situations, dinners, parties, nights of solid quality time in our apartment flood my brain. "I guess I could see that," I whisper out unintentionally. I'd never thought about it before.

"Hey, there's nothing wrong with having a really close friend," Whitney tries to reassure me. "Just... try not to destroy your friendship over it okay?" Seeming to think the case closed, she turns her head back to the road.

I however, am not nearly ready for this conversation to end. What other vibes do we give off huh? "What... exactly made you think we were... a thing?," I ask awkwardly to the car in general. Ah crap Lauren, don't ask questions you don't want to hear the answer to! It's too late now though.

"Well," Dean hops in before Joe or Whitney can get a word in. "There's the way you guys look at each other sometimes. It, uh," he wilts a little as I gape at him. "It seems a little more than platonic sometimes."

"And what does that mean, dear?" Whitney cuts in. "Spit it out!" Although her language was harsh, it sounds like they've been down this road before.

"Uh, well, they obviously are really close, but there's, uh." Despite his massive frame, Dean's rather timid, and tends to let Whitney handle confrontations. She clearly isn't going to bail him out this time, leading him on with a raised eyebrow.

"Well, it just reminds me of they way my grandparents used to look at each other." he finishes, trying his best to sink back into the small rear seat. I feel myself blinking repeatedly, uncontrollably. It feels like my whole relationship with Jess is being unraveled in front of me, and it's not even the type of fabric I thought it was.

"You appear to have stunned our dear friend into silence babe. From my observation, it was mostly how clingy you guys are to each other. You never do anything separate, even vacations."

"You guys have also lived together forever," Joe mentions we pull up to the cabin. "Keep that up and you'll be common law married, isn't it like 10 years or something?"

"That's not a thing Joe," Dean corrects him. "Urban myth, like the Mothman, or Ted Cruz being the Zodiac Killer." That gets a laugh out of Whitney, who throws open the door to the car and disappears into the cabin. "Pssh, didn't even offer to help you with your bags," Dean snarks at his wife's back to Joe. "Let me assist."

That leaves me alone, standing next to Joe's car in the quickening dusk. I don't want to go in and presumably celebrate, but Jess will certainly miss me if I stayed outside, and that's a whole can of worms that probably shouldn't be opened right now. I sigh, and trudge inside.

*****

I'm several glasses of wine deep, and that's proven to be a poor decision. I'm feeling it pretty hard, and I can still tell it's a poor decision, which means it's a reaaaallllyy poor decision. I'm snuggled up in a recliner in the corner of the room, drinking away the emotions, and apparently exuding such a cloud of sadness that no one cares to even come chat.

I grab another handful of m&m's from the end table, but even my favorite snack can't get me out of this funk. I keep eating them though, regardless of the hangover it'll induce.

Eventually though, someone notices my loneliness. It's Jess of course. Who else would it be? "Lauren," she asks as she approaches. "Are you feeling okay?" The sincere concern plastered across her flushed face is enough to melt straight through my defenses, in a way that only Jess can.

"I'm okay, I guess." Suddenly this chair doesn't seem so comfy anymore.

"You don't sound okay," Jess leans over me, peering down as if she can discern the pall over my heart. "Did you eat too much at dinner, come on Lauren, what's wrong?" I swallow nervously. I've never been great at keeping secrets, but even my deepest dreams and desires had been shared with Jess. We tell each other everything, even the embarrassing stuff.

"I guess, I guess I'm just not ready for you to get married yet," I admit. "I know it's selfish of me, but I enjoy our time together so much together and you know how I feel about Sam and I want to just forget about all this and I'm a terrible friend, I'm so sorry." I end my rambling confession looking down into my lap, unable to meet my best friend's gaze.

"Aw Lauren, you're not a terrible friend," Jessica pulls me up into a hug that I melt into. We'll spend plenty of time together, you won't even notice the difference." I can tell Jess is a little mad at me despite the words. Actually, maybe not mad so much as disappointed? I'm too drunk to tell.

"I didn't mean to be such a downer Jess, I'm sorry. I'm just going to go to bed now." I reluctantly pull back from our hug, and wander out of the room, feeling incredibly sorry for myself, not to mention guilty. "Lauren!," Jessica follows me into my room. "Lauren wait up."

There's a great sadness in Jessica's eyes when I turn to face her, worse than I've ever seen before. "I'm not going to argue with you, right now, even if I am a little hurt. But I want you to know that you're my best friend, now and forever, okay?" I give her the tiniest of nods.

Chapter 4 -- The Declaration

I can't get to sleep. The revelations of this night bounce around my skull like one of those annoying DVD sceensaver things they used to have.. So, let's review the day. Jessica got engaged to a douchebag. Joe and Whitney thought at one point we were lesbians. And I'm feeling incredibly depressed about the whole thing. I roll over to try and get to a comfier position. No dice, of course.

What was it Joe said? If we keep living together we'll be common law married? That'd be way preferable to her marrying Douchy McAssclown. What if? I fumble around for my phone on the night stand. The bright screen blinds me for a bit, but I'm awake anyway, and squint my eyes through the glare.

"What defines a common law marriage," I type into google. There was a pretty good looking article at the top of the search results, so might as well.

"Oh my god...," I whisper out loud. "Oh my god. This kind of applies to us. And she can't marry him if we're common law married!" I drop my phone on the pillow next to me, the bright light illuminating the ceiling I'm staring at.

Is that really a good idea though? What does it get you, besides her angry? Time to convince her Sam sucks? I guess. Maybe It'll delay them long enough she'll figure out on her own. My inner debate raged back and forth for what seems like an eternity. Eventually, a conclusion, then sleep comes..

*****

"You seem like things are going a little better," Whitney remarks as we eat breakfast on the deck. I'm glad the sun is so bright we already need sunglasses, it helps hide my face.

"Yeah, I guess." I try to disguise the butterflies in my stomach by talking with my mouth full. Gross, yes, but also one of my more noticeable flaws. This time, it was helping me out.

"Ew, don't talk with your mouth full." Whitney slaps my deck chair and laughs as I choke. What a bitch. "So what's the plan then?" I nearly choke again, coughing and sputtering on the cereal I'd nearly inhaled.

"What?," I croak out, in between coughs.

"I know you. You don't take something like this easily. Remember when Dr. Boyle gave you a C- on a presentation? You were steamed for days. Weeks even! So for you to be so chipper this morning..." She waves her hand gently in my direction, a knowing smirk on her face.

Fuck. Uh. "Uh... nooooooo?" My voice trails off in a squeak.

Whitney folds her arms and leans back in to the chair. "Is that so? Well, whatever it is you're up to, please think it through. I don't want to be picking up the pieces of a shattered friendship."

Great. That certainly helps. 'Here's an ominous warning, hope you don't mind that weighing over your head.' As if I wasn't worried enough. We finish our breakfast in silence.

The rest of the group is slower to rise, so we kill our hangovers for good with seconds of the scrambled eggs Dean whipped up. I'd just finished washing my plate when Jessica emerges, still in her pajamas.

"Good morning overachievers." She yawns stretching her arms over her head. "Is this for me?" She doesn't even wait for an answer before helping herself to some of the eggs.

"Well, it is now," I comment dryly, causing Jessica to giggle. "But I assume it was up for grabs anyways." Now that Jess is awake, I begin to doubt my conviction. She looks so happy, curled up in a cozy chair with her breakfast. How can I potentially hurt her, my favorite person in the whole world?

I just about jump out of my chair as a hand claps me on the back. "Back to moping I see?" Whitney whispers in my ear. "Keep it together girl, I'm sure it'll be fine."

As the day winds on, my determination returns in full force. Instead of the hike we'd planned on doing, Sam and Kyle didn't wake up until almost noon, and I caught them slipping booze into their coffee during what was for them, brunch, signaling another 'party day', most likely. Ugh.

Forced into inactivity, I start to fret. I can't help myself. I try to occupy myself with reading, but the incessant music Sam insists on having -- "it's a party bro, we gotta have music" -- accompanied by some snide remarks about the novel I'm trying to read, makes that next to impossible.

I get fed up, and toss my book on my bed. What are my options? Stay in my room, be anti social and read, go out to the lake again, or head out to the deck and chat. I eventually choose swimming, feeling lazy lying around the cabin all day. Plus, the scenery is beautiful, that's why we're here, right?

I grab my still-damp suit off the chair and pad over to the closest bathroom, closing the door behind me. Almost as soon as I'd stripped down, the door flew open, revealing none other than chief asshole himself.

"Oh hey, nice haha." He eyes me with a scummy grin plastered on his face, as I do my best to cover up with the towel.

"Get out of here you creep!" I shriek at him.

"If you insist," He backs out of the room and closes the door. What a fucking creep! I rush over and lock the door like I swore I had when I came in. He didn't even apologize, just ogled me like I was dancing for his enjoyment! I shudder at the thought, and finish getting ready. I feel exposed, and violated, and I feel reluctant to leave.

Some quick thinking, and I slip my shorts and T-shirt back on, to cover up some more. It's not like he hasn't seen everything now, but I'm not going to give him the satisfaction of seeing anything again, ever. I rage out of the cabin as quickly as possible.

*****

A good, hard anger swim followed by a nice shower (with the door locked, double checked, and triple checked), help me calm down a bit. Not nearly as much as what's probably needed to coexist in the same space as the man, but somewhat. Whitney walks in cautiously to my room as I'm hanging my suit to dry.

"Hey, you okay? You looked like you were ready to burn the world down when you stomped out, and after mauling the poor lake within an inch of it's life, you still hardly look better." I'm not really in the mood to talk, but it's hard not to, especially with Whitney's dry humor.

"Fucking asshole walked in on me in the bathroom and instead of saying sorry and leaving, he just looked me up until I yelled at him."

Whitney's face darkens. "Ugh what a creep. I'm sorry Lauren." She closes the door behind her and sits down next to me. "Are you going to tell Jessica?" I shrug. It doesn't seem like it would change her mind at all. "I think you should, but I understand if you're not in the mood right now. If it happens again, let me know and Me and Dean'll give him a 'talking too.'"

"Thanks Whitney," I mutter. Talking about it had brought back the bubbling ire that had fueled my intense swim.

"Hey, hey, it'll be okay, you hear me? I'll sit between you guys at dinner, and if you want to tell Jessica, you can. It's up to you."

Whitney kept her word, boxing out everyone else to isolate me at one end of the table next to her. It makes feel a little better, but the problem is still at the table. It feels like every glance he sent my way is a leering violation.

"God he's a creep," Whitney whispers in my ear. I pick at the last of my pizza crusts, staring studiously into the plate to hide my embarrassment and anger. "He keeps grinning smugly and looking at you, like we can't fucking notice."

I made up her mind, for the second time in 24 hours. I've had it up to here with Jess overlooking her boyfriend's behavior. I caught her after dinner, when everyone else is focused on the hockey game Dean had turned on.

Did Whitney ask him to set that up so I'd have time to talk to Jess? Mmm, probably, she's never been particularly subtle. I take a deep breath, and tap Jess on the shoulder.

"Hm?" She looks up from her phone and give me a heart melting smile. "Hey Lauren, what's up?" My heart starts beating faster, and my mouth goes dry.

"Uh, I just wanted to talk about something real quick." That doesn't sound awkward or suspicious at all Lauren, great start, keep it up.

"Sure," Jessica responds, a growing look of concern on her face. I lead her into my room, and close the door. "So what's up bestie?"

I suck in another deep breath. "Jess, you can't get married to Sam." There. I'd actually said it.

Jess's face darkens, and she shifts defensively. "Why not?," she ask, clearly unhappy. "If this is another one of your rants about how you don't like Sam, I don't want to hear it." She turns towards the door to leave, but I manage t get something out before she leaves.

"No!," I practically shout. "No, it's not that," I manage to continue in a softer tone. "Although I still think you're overlooking some major flaws." Jessica frowns deeply, and I can tell I need to get to the point. "Look, basically, I was doing some research, and I think we're common law married."

Jess is stunned into silence. I watch nervously as she opens and closes her mouth several times without saying a word. Each second that passes increases my nervousness, but at the same time, I feel like a weight has been taken off my chest.

Eventually, Jess manages to regain some composure. "What do you mean common law married?," she asks.

I'm pretty sure she knows what the term means, but I explain anyways. "It's when we've basically been operating as if we've been married for awhile."

She shakes her head and turns for the door. "Lauren, you're a really great friend, but that's totally crazy. I don't want to hear about this anymore." And once again, I'm alone, and the weight off my chest has been replaced by a much larger one.

Chapter 5 -- Arguments, 1st Edition

I'm reading a book when Whitney storms into my room, practically taking the door off. Well, I should say I was technically reading a book, if staring blankly at the same sentence for 15 minutes at a time counts as reading. Okay, maybe not, at least the book is open. In any case, Whitney would have made it impossible, even if I could focus.