Common Law

After nearly a minute of this, I start to get worried. "Hey Jess, you okay there?"

She shakes head. "Oh yeah, sorry," and offers me a sheepish grin. "I was just... thinking." As much as I'd like to ask 'what about',it's probably not the time to press the issue. Time to have some tact for once.

We finish our meal in silence, the chatter of the other patrons acting as white noise to keep it from getting awkward. Every once and awhile, I sneak a glance at Jess, and find her still staring into space, her blush refusing to go away. "I should get going," Jessica finally says, after we finish. "I... I'm glad we had this talk. Let's keep in touch yeah?"

I shuffle around to give her a sidehug "Yeah. I'll be at our apartment if you ever want to pop back in. I guess. That feels weird to say." So much for having some tact.

To my relief, Jess just giggle a little and turns and crushes me with a tight hug. "I'll think about it. Have a good evening, Lauren."

****

I rest my hands on my knees, panting. I'd been pushing myself hard in my workouts, and it's starting to catch up with me. "Take is easy, Lauren," Joe admonishes me. "I know you're maybe in a bad place right now," he continues as I turn around from the squat rack. I give him a glare, not wanting to talk about it. Sure, Jess and I had a good conversation last week, but I'm still not feeling great about it. "But you shouldn't take it out on yourself via workouts," he trails off quietly.

"Look, I know you don't want to talk about it, but sometimes talking helps. Also, Whitney put me up to it," he admits. I turn my glare into a full on stink eye, before relenting a little. Of course Whitney would... Just like Joe to spill the beans on it too. "So, are you going to spit it out or what?" Joe prompts me. "It's my set and I want my spotter talking.

I reluctantly let him take his position at the squat rack. "We had dinner the other night." I start tentatively. "It went... about as well as I could have hoped." Joe grunts, but I can't tell if it's a response, or just exertion.

"And?" He asks after his set is done. "I need details, or Whitney's gonna do unspeakable things to me. You know her." I sigh a bit.

"We talked a bit, I apologized for my timing. That was about it."

Joe shakes his head. "Not good enough sister. There's more to it and we need to know."

I don't really have the energy to argue with him, so I try to play the fool by moving to the rowing machine and getting a set in. "You're not going to dodge me that easily, and I know there's more too it now because your face got red. Well, redder than it was before."

I sigh again, stalling for time a little longer to catch my breath. "Fine, fine. Someone at the pub paid for our tab because they thought we were a cute couple."

Joe doubles over laughing immediately, whacking his shoulder into the machine as he did so. "Joe are you okay?" I ask, before realizing he's fine, and returning to my earlier crossness with him.

"Oh man," Joe wheezes, wiping a tear from his eye. "That's hilarious. I wish I had been there to see that!" I dial the stink eye back up again.

"I thought one of you had maybe done it, to make us even more awkward than we already were!"

"No, no," Joe puts up his hands in defense. "I wish I'd thought of it, but it's almost better that it was a stranger. Ha!" He continues to chuckle as I rip through another anger fueled rowing set. I'm glad we came early, if there were more people around to hear around us, I'd die of embarrassment.

"Any other information you've been holding out on me with?" He pokes me with his finger to drive home the point.

"No," I answer tersely between heavy breaths. "Well maybe one thing."

He perks up again, not even bothering to look at the equipment he had been using. "Oh? Spit it out woman!"

"Yeah, I'm thinking of getting Whitney to do unspeakable things to you, you big ol' jerk!"

Chapter 9 -- Call me

I shoulder my heavy pack and look up at the imposing canyon walls. "Did they have to put the sensors at the end of the canyon?"

"Well, we need a good baseline for water pollution, and that means getting the water straight from the source. So, yes." My boss Kevin, claps me on the shoulder. "I know you're just griping for the sake of griping, but this is one of the better spots in the country to do this! Count your lucky stars you're not diving into some garbage filled river in the Midwest."

His speech makes me chuckle a little. He's right of course. It's a beautiful day, and the river was quite photogenic. While we're waiting, I pull out her phone and notice a missed call from Jess, not 5 minutes prior. Wonder what this is about? "Hey boss, you mind if I call my roommate back real quick? She just called, and I'm a bit worried."

"Sure, Juan is still inspecting the new sensors, so you've got a little bit. Don't get left behind though!" My always energetic supervisor tromps over to the other truck to give the scientist a hand.

The phone only rings once before she picks up. "Hey."

"Hey... you called?"

The line stays dead for a few seconds before she responds. "Yeah. I uh." Another pause. "I was hoping you could come and talk to me, sometime this week. I want to talk about us. About everything."

"Does it have to be at your house?"

"Look, I know you've never gotten along with my parents, but that's part of it. I want them to see that you're a good person, who's willing to talk. They're talking about hiring a lawyer Lauren, I don't want anything like that to happen!" Jess's volume is rising, and she sounds genuinely upset. She calms down as quickly as the outburst had come. "I want us to have a nice, civil dinner together where we talk about things like reasonable people. Is that too much to ask?"

It really isn't. My instinctive answer is no, but that's not fair to Jess, and the near crippling heartache I've had without her in the apartment was getting old, fast. Plus, she isn't the one who's thrown a triple-extra-large monkey wrench into the gears of our friendship.

"Okay, I'll come." I can almost feel her smile through the phone, and it washes over me like a cool breeze on a hot day.

"Okay! I'll text you with a time! Bye!" I take a couple deep breaths, before walking over to the other work truck.

"Everything good?," Kevin asks.

"Yeah. As good as can be."

Chapter 10 -- Turnabout is Fair Play

I ring the doorbell an impending sense of dread bearing down on me. I'd had to come straight from work, and that means I'm still in a somewhat dirty outdoor getup. Why didn't you think to bring a change of clothes, dummy? Jess's parents had always intimidated me. It was probably the combination of wealth and cool hostility that oozed off them. It made me feel insignificant. Which I suppose would have been true, if not for Jess.

Her mother answers the door. "Hello, come on in, we were just talking about you," she says. It sounds sinister, she can't mean that in a good way. I tentatively step through the door, taking care to not track dust on the flooring.

Jess's mother had disappeared by the time I had unlaced my heavy work boots and gotten them off. Every little thing I do increases my feeling of self consciousness. Why had I worn shorts instead of pants? Should I have worn a ranger style hat instead of a ballcap? Am I sunburned?

I worked myself into a cold sweat by the time I made it to the dining room. Cold turns to fiery hot as I turn the corner and spot, not just Jess and her parents, but Sam and someone I've never seen before as well.

The newcomer is wearing what I guess has to be an expensive suit. Smells like a lawyer to me. Great, thanks Jessica, you've set me up, I hope you're happy. I glance at her face, but she has a tight-lipped, unreadable expression.

"Good, we can get started," Jessica's mother proclaims, clapping her hands together. She pulls out a chair for the lawyer, followed by one for Sam.

I tentatively walk over to sit next to Jess, and I hear her saying something about doing right by herself. "What?"

All of sudden, Jess snatches my hand nearest her and squeezes it. I stare down dumbly, confused. What's she doing? "Everybody I've done some thinking, and I've come to a conclusion. Lauren and I are common law married."

What?!? I gape at her, my slack-jawed face surely a model for future cartoonists. But, she, I, we, what? Jess releases my hand, but pulls me closer with an arm around my waist. It feels good.

Out of the corner of my eye, I notice the lawyer react as well. He slaps his knees and stands up. "Welp, that's that," he announces, the slightest twinge of humor in his voice. "If they agree, it's pretty darn well settled."

No one paid him any mind however. All eyes are still on Jessica. Finally, someone actually invested in the situation is able to respond. "Jessica, this isn't funny," her dad spits out. "I don't appreciate the humor, and it's in bad taste."

Jessica puts her other hand on my shoulder, and something we've done a million times before has somehow never felt more intimate. I feel a creeping blush headed for my cheeks, followed by a second wave of embarrassment about why the first wave is happening. "Dad, I'm not joking. And you're going to have to listen to me this time."

"Honey, I understand you're upset with us," her mom begins.

"Don't, mom. Don't." Jess cuts her off. "This is my decision and it's final." I barely hear the argument though. I feel on top of the world, every weight I've ever had has been lifted from my chest.

"You serious babe?" Sam cuts in. "You're going to go with that dyke? Is this why you kept defending her?" I feel the slur like a slap across my face.

"You disgust me Sam." There's a peculiar look in her eye as she dresses down her presumable ex. She continues, only a tiny bit softer. "You know, I was willing to overlook things. The way you never pay attention to me. The drinking. But that's because I was lying to myself. About myself. And now the blinds are open and I never want to see you again."

She grabs my hand again and pulls me along behind her as she yanks us confidently towards the door. "What where?" I stutter out. "Where are we going?" From behind, I can hear Sam yelling with ever increasing volume.

"You're taking me home," Jessica replies as she stuffs her feet into her boots.

I fumble with the laces on my work boots as Jess argues with Sam, who had made his way down the hallway. "You little bitch! After all the time we spent together, this is how you treat me?"

"Oh my god Sam, you haven't the slightest clue how bad of a boyfriend you were! You never think of anyone but yourself!" I try as best as I can to lace up my cumbersome work boots quickly, but the argument is proving to be quite distracting. "I've been ignoring how selfish you've been for years, and if it wasn't for Lauren I might be stuck with you!" Oh nooo, getting pulled into this too.

I fumble more with my laces, desperately trying to get them tied and ignore the fight raging beside me. A little morrrrreeee and good enough! Jess seems to have noticed I had finished and yanks me back upright. "We're through Sam. I'm leaving."

She flings open the door, and practically drags me over to my car. Sam follows us out, staggering slightly. Jess manhandles me into the driver's seat and I kick it into gear.

The silence seems to fill the car, a stuffy sort of thing where it feels like I might choke on it if I open my mouth. Jess seems to be stewing over her break-up and decision.

Eventually, as we pull into our apartment, I find the courage to break through the commanding silence. "Sam said you defended me the whole time... did you?"

Jessica shakes her head, rousing herself from her thoughts. "Yeah. I did." She stares straight ahead as she says it, but reaches out and squeezes my arm. We move into the living room after I park, and I can see a rising blush on her face. I myself feel kind of warm.

"So uh, I guess we're kinda married now, I guess," I throw out there as we sit next to each other.

Jess cracks a smile for the first time tonight. Yeah. I guess we are, huh." She fixes me with a glowing smile, surprising me, but also warming my heart deeply.

"Soooooo, We're married. Why did you say that? I wasn't really going to fight you, I couldn't stand to hurt you any more than I already had. I just didn't want you to marry Sam." It feels like a stupid little confession, but it's also true, and I want her to know it.

Jess ignores the second part of my statement, answering only the question at the beginning. "I did it because you were right. I've been giving him a pass that I really shouldn't have, and then you helped pull down the veil, as it were. So thank you for that."

She takes a deep breath, as if preparing for something. "I think I've figured out why I've been giving him that pass, and why I've been dealing with it so poorly." I look at her expectantly as she pauses for a moment. "And now I'm going to do something I should have done a long time ago."

Before I can figure out what she means, she leans over, and her lips are on mine! Dimly, I think to myself that it's the best kiss I've ever had, before her tongue touches mine, and I dissolve fully into her. Her lips are so soft and gentle, it's like nothing I've ever experienced before.

When we come up for air, I almost get lost in her eyes, before pulling back slightly. "Jess... what?," is all I can manage.

"I love you Lauren," she whispers. And just like that, my world churning day has officially made a full revolution, plus some. "I think I always have, but I couldn't admit it. I sought out men to distract myself, and I was willing to overlook almost anything to avoid thinking about my feelings for you."

I gape at her, completely floored. I try to say something, but I'm utterly distracted by the taste of her lipstick, the feel of her hand on my arm, her presence above me. She takes it as permission to keep explaining herself. "When you claimed we're common law married, it shook me to the core. I had to confront my feelings for you, and the litany of red flags I'd been overlooking in Sam. But I made it through, Lauren. The more I thought about what you did, it felt like a act of love, not of envy, or jealousy. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that I want you, and I have to take the chance that you want me too. I never really felt anything for Sam, my heart belongs to you."

I'm immensely aware of her body on top of mine, as we lay on the couch. I finally open my mouth, still unsure of what to say, but she places her finger on my lips to shush me. "It's okay Lauren. You don't have to answer me now. We're both tired, sleep on it. I'll still be your friend if you want me to, but you would make me the happiest girl in the world if you could find it in you to love me back."

She gets up, and goes to her room, leaving me lying on my back on the couch. I trace an outline of my lips with a finger, remembering the feeling of hers. My thoughts are a raging inferno of competing emotions. I lean back further, and try to sort them out. Joy, at her breakup with Sam, easy enough. Confusion, over her declaration of love, understandable.

...Arousal, from her lips on mine, from the feeling of her finger tracing them out.

Am I attracted to Jess?

I relive the moment our lips touch, and heat flares through my body, and pools in my groin. It peaks to further heights when I remember the feeling of her finger on my lips, and how badly I'd wanted to suck on it. Where did that thought come from? And yet, I can't deny it. I'm attracted to my best friend. I want to kiss her. Not just on the lips, but every part of her. I re-imagine her in the sexy swimsuit she'd bought for our trip, and heat flares to new heights between my legs. I've never been so turned on in my life.

A flood of memories form our life together comes rushing in. The trips we've taken, the restaurants we've gone to, the easy, fulfilling, home life we've shared together. The crippling despair when she was gone, and the warm, radiant feeling I get when she's near me. How I can never be sad when she's happy, and how a simple frown from her clouds my day. Oh my god, I'm in love with my best friend! And she's in love with me!

It's too much to handle, all at once. I start crying uncontrollably on the couch. There's nothing I can do but let it all flow out. By the time I'm done, I'm well and truly exhausted, and slip into a deep sleep without even getting to my bed.

Chapter 11 -- Exploring Love

I wake to the smell of pancakes. Rubbing grit from my eyes, I see Jess with her back turned, occupied with the stove. It gives me a time to get a good look at her from behind, and try and formulate what I'm going to say. I notice she's wearing tight leggings, and find myself straight up ogling her butt. I blush hard when I realize it, but it also helps drive home something for me. I don't know if I'm gay, or bi, but I'm 100% into Jess.

"Morning Lauren," she greets me cautiously. She walks over tentatively, and sets a plate down on the table next to me."I saw you fell asleep out here, so I thought I'd make you something nice, y'know, as a thank y-"

I only let her get as far into the sentence as I needed to gather the courage to pull her down on top of me and kiss her passionately. Once again, my world narrows down to her lips, my lips, and the raging inferno her touch sparks inside of me. When her tongue snakes into my mouth, it send liquid fire straight to my center, and I'm vaguely aware that I'm moaning into her mouth.

We're both panting as we separate. Her eyes are twinkling with joy, and a surge of happiness rushes through me. "So," she smiles down at me. "I take it you've thought about it?"

I pull her back into me for another kiss. "Yes!," I breathe against her. "I love you!"

My proclamation send us into a frenzy of manic kisses, and whispered 'I love yous." I literally can't remember a time where I've felt this much emotion in such a short span. Anxiety, relief, awkwardness, love, arousal, joy.

Eventually, we separate, and while my heart wants nothing more than to hold her forever, neither of us ate dinner last night. The pancakes are delicious, as usual, but it doesn't compare to having her back in my life.

"I missed you so much," I admit to her. "I don't think I realized it until you weren't here. I never want to go through that again," I add much softer.

"Oh, babe," she pouts sympathetically, and my face burns red at the endearment. "I missed you so much too. My family... they kept telling me how bad you were for me, how much better off I was without you, and the only thing I could think about was how much I missed being near you."

My blush gets even hotter as she speaks. "Jess," I admit to her sheepishly. "I have no idea what I'm doing. I've never even thought about being with another woman before. I don't know what it is to be gay, to have to come out, to live proudly as a gay woman. But I was thinking last night, about the life we've made together, and I can't imagine spending it with anyone else but you."

She reaches between us and laces her fingers between mine. "I don't want anyone else but you Lauren. Now tell you what." I give her a curious glance. "As much as I want to pin you down and take you right now, I think that can wait. Instead, I want to shower, get ourselves as fancy as possible, and I'm going to take my wife out for an amazing dinner this evening. Sound good?"

Her speech sends two different powerful emotions through me, one of dizzying arousal at the imagine of her pushing me back into the couch and having her way with me, and another of incredible joy and love of being called 'my wife'.

"Oh my god Jess, yes please, I love you!" I wrap her up in another hug, before checking the clock slyly as a boldness I've never really had before overcomes me. "You know babe," I relish the word as I whisper in her ear. "I think we have time for both."