Confessions of a Married Guy

When I heard the front door creak open, I already had my elbows on the mattress and my bare ass hoisted into the air. My wife's hot-pink bikini top squeezed my tits. The matching bottoms were still in the drawer. My laptop was perched on a pillow near the head of the bed. The porno playing on the screen showed 50 guys taking turns fucking a hot blonde with big tits. My cock was rock hard. In my normal life, I'm a straight, red-blooded guy who drinks Budweiser and watches football. But at that moment, I identified with the blonde. I wanted to be used like a whore.

I heard the front door close.

"In here!" I yelled. "Just follow the sound of the moans."

The guy making his way down the hallway with heavy footsteps told me his name was Steve. We had met on Grindr about an hour earlier. Both of us were married to women and liked having sex with other guys married to women. That was good enough for me.

My ass was facing the doorway, so I didn't see him come in, but I heard him.

I turned my head to see if he matched the pictures he had sent over Grindr, and they did. He was just my type-- an average, middle-age married guy. Our eyes met, and we nodded at each other. Not a single word needed to be said.

He kicked off his casual office shoes while unbuckling his belt. I could tell he was nervous. So was I. For me, it was a good nervous-- a sweet adrenaline rush while thinking, "I can't believe I'm doing this. Again."

Steve let his khaki pants fall to the floor, and then he stepped out of his boxers. He pulled his collared blue shirt over his head. Nine inches of married hard salami stood at the ready.

"My ass is already lubed," I said. "Just fuck me. No condom."

Steve paused.

"No condom?" he asked. "I've never done that."

"Me either," I said. "But I want it raw from you. Cum inside me."

I was far gone in lust haze. I had been watching porn, pinching my nipples and chatting with married guys on Grindr for hours. I yearned for the dirtiest, nastiest sex my mind could conjure. I think Steve felt the same. He put up no resistance to my request.

Steve knelt on the bed behind me. I faced forward and focused on the video. A dude was fucking the blonde doggy style while a crowd of guys beat off around them. Cum streaked down her face. It was exactly the kind of inspiration I was looking for.

Steve put his cock in my ass lengthwise like a hot dog in a bun. He started dry-humping my crack.

"Who's bikini is that?" he asked.

"My wife's," I said.

I could feel his prick stiffening as he worked himself up and down. The bikini string was tied tightly around my chest, the cups squeezing my tits.

"Do you fuck her on this bed?" Steve asked.

"Yes," I said.

"You dirty whore," he said. "I'm going to make you be gay for me."

Pre-cum leaked from my cock. Steve guided the head of his dick to my asshole. I felt the pressure on the rim and then he was suddenly inside me. A jolt of electricity shot through my body. He slowly slid the entirety of his love sausage inside me. Then he pulled back just as slowly.

"Oh God," I moaned. "I love having you inside me."

He started pumping my ass, languidly, like an oil derrick on the West Texas plains. Gradually, he picked up the pace. I felt like a slut.

"This how you fuck your wife?" he asked. "This how you fuck her?"

What he didn't know was that she could have walked in at any time. She was out running errands and wasn't due back for another hour or two, but it was totally possible for her to come home early.

"Harder," I said breathlessly. "I fuck her harder."

Steve started heaving all nine inches up his prick up my ass with every stroke, his balls slapping off my ass. But I knew he had more in him.

"Like this?" he asked. "You fuck your wife like this?"

"Harder," I said.

He grabbed me by the shoulders and started doing me jackhammer style. He had amazing stamina. I looked up at the computer screen. The blonde was on her back with her legs spread. A guy was banging her. Her tits were covered in cum, and several guys were grouped around her with their cocks in their hands. It was the image I needed.

"Show me how you would fuck my wife," I said. "I want you to cum in her pussy."

That was all it took. Steve uncapped a gusher inside me. His groans made me so hot I started to cum, shooting my goo all over the old brown blanket I'd placed atop the comforter for just such an occasion. It was the first time I had cum without touching my cock and the first time I had cum at the same time as another guy.

I'd call the day a success.

Steve pulled out. Cum dripped down my ass cheeks as I rolled off the bed and started to slide on my boxers and cargo shorts. I felt the jizz trickling down my thighs as I untied the bikini top and slipped on my Van Halen T-shirt. Steve was getting dressed quickly. He had been through these hookups before. He knew the deal.

We finished dressing without a word, and then he made a beeline for the BMW parked on the street in front of my house. I watched from the window as he pulled away.

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This is an absolutely true story. I really did have unprotected anal sex with a random Grindr guy in the bed where I fuck my wife and loved every second of it.

I am a total sex addict, and this is my confession.

In my "real life" I am a highly successful consultant with a wife and a house in the yuppie part of town. What no one knows, though, is that I spend hours everyday watching porn and trying to hook up with dudes online. I used to go through with it only once or twice a year. Lately it's been more like once or twice a month. I pretty much hook up only with men who are married to women but make exceptions for closeted straight guys, cross-dressers and transsexuals. I've lost count of how many men I've hooked up with, but if you tally every, jack-off session, blow job and fuck, it's probably in the neighborhood of 70-80. I meet up with a lot of business travelers in their hotel rooms and always find some action when I travel for work. I invite guys to my house when my wife is out. A few guys have invited me to their homes.

I am very versatile. I will suck or get sucked and top or bottom. I usually end up topping because so many of the married guys I meet like to bottom. My hookup with Steve was an anomaly and bottoming for him was a welcome change.

This may sound strange, but when I am hooking up with guys, at least one of us is standing in as a woman in my imagination. Cross-dressing used to be a prerequisite for me. Either the other guy or I or both of us needed to be wearing some kind of lingerie. I still like cross-dressing, but it's no longer necessary. I'll play as a guy or a CD. What I like about bottoming is feeling that I have become the porno whore on the computer screen. When I stop, I think of the guy as my secret girlfriend. It goes the same with blow jobs.

(I swallow-- just thought I'd throw that in there.)

As soon as I cum, I feel deep shame and regret. I have tried quitting this lifestyle many times with the help of three different shrinks, Sex Addicts Anonymous and Sexaholics Anonymous. None have worked, so I've decided to embrace it.

The shame still hits with the same force every time. One thing I've learned to do, though, is use the shame from one hook up to fuel the next. In deep recesses of my mind, I hold an unshakable belief that gay sex is abominable, awful, one of the worst things that could happen to a person. But that's what makes it so dirty, and the dirtiness turns it into a major rush. Going from one hook up to another makes the experience even and dirtier and more intense. Eventually, though, the shame and guilt hit like a tsunami. The longer I go, the worse it is.

All the stories in this series are true. There is no moral. I am writing them because it gets me off to know my secrets are public on the internet, and I enjoy connecting with guys who are into the same thing I am.

So if you're into it, leave a comment or send me a note. Maybe we'll connect, and the next story I write will be about you.