All Comments on 'Congregation Domination Pt. 01'

The dialogue is delivered well and you did a good job of keeping it exciting. However, your paragraphs tended to split up in the middle of your sentences. Youve gotta proofread. Thanks for the good read.

You describe this church as being Catholic (one of the 3 kinds) ie Mass, etc. But only a Priest EVER gives a Sermon in at Sunday Mass.. They are not called Pastors. You should be made it it one of any number of Protestant Churches.

This comes from a RL Dom and Theology Professor

Master Doctor, thank you for the advice, I really appreciate it!

You will now have all the ladies messaging you, but very on point!

Research is important when writing stories.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion, I am still learning to write and I appreciate all feedback, especially negative. The warning note is there for a reason. The next part of the story will have far less references to religion - I knew that would hurt some feelings. My stories are aimed at a particular audience, as are most, so if you don't like it, that's ok. Thanks to all for the advice and feedback.

I find it curious that the author claims to be appreciative of feedback and comments, especially negative. But, as-soon-as a negative comment pops-up, he immediately deletes it from public view. He claims that my feelings were hurt; but I believe it's actually his feelings that were hurt. Only a thin-skinned person would allow just the positive comments to remain up for view. If he offers to leave my comment up for the public to see, I will post it again, so you all will know what this is about.

Michael

Ok, Anonymous/Michael. I do appreciate the negative comments, and my feelings weren't hurt. I will continue to write what I want and if there are people who don't like it, fair enough. Not all of my upcoming work is like this! Maybe there is something in the future you might like.

At the end of the day, despite it being "Trash", it is my most popular story to date. Go ahead and repost your comment, and we will leave it at that.

Actually, I've changed my mind about reposting my negative comment. Instead, I'd rather point-out the thing that stunned and infuriated me. If you had claimed to be an atheist, then I would have expected a story like this about 'backward, fantasy-believing church folks'--with those spineless husbands, angry wives, slutty daughters, and walking-dead priests. But, you claim to be "very strong" in faith. And, even though nobody's suggesting that you can't write a story like this--my question is: Why would someone who's "very strong" in faith, even want to?

Michael

Michael, Fair point. Allow me to explain.

Faith is not religion. Religion is man made, faith is belief. I believe in God, but not from a religious stand point. That is how I can write something like this without begging for forgiveness from my closest Priest.

I have one for you. How far did you get, before you decided it was trash?

I'm starting to discover that you and I are not completely dissimilar. Like you, I don't equate faith with religion. Yet, I do see value in church, particularly the insightful discussions with like-minded people; and learning from those who have studied aspects of faith that I haven't.

I noticed that the church in your story has all the earmarks of a Catholic church. Stained glass, decrepit priest, and all. I'm a protestant, myself, and not a fan of all the pomp and ceremony. I love a quote from the 1999 movie, Stigmata. "The kingdom of God is inside you and all around you, not in buildings of wood or stone. Split a piece of wood and you will find me. Lift a stone and I am there."

How far did I get? At first, it's pretty funny. The clumsy daughter flashing her tits, leg, and ass out the window. Then the mother and daughter playing with each other's tits in the front yard. Too funny.

I started getting irritated when I came across descriptions of the husband/father as a weak, spineless, stuttering, pathetic, weed of a man. At that point, I began wondering if you actually have a Y chromosome. I almost stopped right there. There's enough male vilifying and female worshipping in media.

However, to answer your question. TO ME, it lost all value when the brute completely disrespected the husband, the marriage, and the congregation, with his actions on the pew with the wife and daughter. It just went down hill from there.

But I'm curious. Very few people would find this story erotic, and many people would be angered by it. So, what was your intended results with this story? To anger people? To cast the Catholic church in a bad light? To cast church females as hypocritical sluts? What?

Michael

Michael, To be perfectly honest I agree with you on the point of Faith. The entire cornerstone of the Faith that I have had for a long time now is directly because of that quote! I was born, baptised, and had my confirmation a Catholic, but I came away from that when I started questioning how men could possibly instruct us in how to believe in God.

Religion is fine, every single person who has ever lived and will ever live has and will live by some religion. It is a personal view that doesn't matter in the greater scheme of things that religion isn't necessary to believe. That's just me. It isn't ok for most to even read that and that's ok. I am very strong in my faith, and it will seem odd but I do in fact love many things about religion, and the church. Much like yourself.

So I will answer your questions first. The aim was to shock. To create the perfect story of domination that bordered on insanity. My other stories reflect erotic horror, here I wanted to take it further and even disturb, as opposed to scare. I am only new to all of this and want to test my boundaries. This was as much a test of myself and my story writing as it was an attempt at what I mentioned above. I didn't mean harm.

I wanted to write a disturbing domination story, where the dominator didn't just dominate the body, but the mind and everything in the submissives life. I figure, the reader should feel exactly what the character is feeling. I can't inject abject arousal into somebody in person, let alone with words and not many people can. I purposely made it funny and light, a then gradually made it darker to the point where Ami gives in and craves every bit of it, to show the impact that her life has just experienced.

I purposely made the husband weak to give Ami a reason to need the domination. I wasn't trying to endorse feminism or say that women should be put under heel. I am totally against all of those beliefs. Hopefully this will explain it better for you. In reality I am an artist, I am a good, protective person who loves my family and would bend over backwards to help anyone. I have literally been writing everything that absolutely disgusts me, to get it out of my system.

So with that in mind, the next part of Congregation Domination, will be far less aggressive and it will answer questions. You have really made me think about what is going on. I didn't set out to please anybody or target anybody, it was an expression and an experiment. My upcoming stories are varied between erotic horror and just good old pleasant erotica, so hopefully you find something you'd like.

Benny,

I get the feeling that you and I could be friends. Despite our upbringings on opposite sides of the Catholic/Protestant fence, your take on faith and religion is very similar to mine. However this topic is probably wearying to others. If you'd like to chat about it more, let me know and I'll shoot you my Email address.

Your aim was to shock. Well, mission accomplished. It's definitely insane and disturbing, alright. Check . . . and check. Although, to date, this story has 25 fans, so . . . hey . . . different strokes.

You say that you've been been writing everything that absolutely disgusts you. To get it out of your system. Now, Freud (and the amatuer psychologist in me) would find that verrry in-ter-est-ing. Lol.

I'm glad that I've made you think. In retrospect, I probably shouldn't have used the word 'trash'. You're right. You're an artist. And, just like all of the writer-artists here, you don't have to please anybody. If I like the next pieces you write, that's cool. But if I dont, then I'll just have to remind myself that:

#1. It's just a story, and

#2. I'm not God.

Michael, I am happy to have reached an accord! Go ahead and send me on your email address, by all means.

I understood full well that it wasn't going to sit well with a lot of people. There were even parts of it that really made me go "This is too much." But that's how I knew it was going to be what I wanted it to be!

I am happy too that this back and forth has brought out some explanations that I wouldn't have otherwise given, for anybody interested at least. And no worries, calling it "Trash" was a perfectly reasonable response. You were angry and shocked, and that's what I was going for. I don't take it personally.

Hopefully you and others will be relieved to know that it isn't an attack on anybody, it is just an expression. I can see where a psychologist would be interested ;)

On to better things!!

When can we expect the next chapter?

Anonymous, I appreciate your interest. The next chapter is well and truly on its way. It is currently still half done in the first draft, but the plan and layout is all on its way. It took around four/five months to write the first chapter, but this time there is already a plan in place and some of it is roughed out.

Suffice it to say, soon ;)

As a very active real life ifestyle FemDomme for over 40 years) in the BDSM world, there were a few blatant inconsistencies as well as the gymnastic sex acts in the church which would be visible to several pews (not pue).

Knowing that you wanted to accelerate and get into the story quickly, going up to a stranger and saying "I'm going to be your Dom, you are my sub and no negotiations" is so wrong on every level. (Most readers, especially young males, probably have this same idea of BDSM.) Yes, there are lots of stories here with that same thought process, (i.e., call me Master, Sir etc., you are mine, no negotiations) and i get the jist behind it.

However, because you can actually write hopefully my constructive criticism is helpful.

Raised as, but eschewed early on, as a Catholic, i could not buy into the sex in the middle of the church. Catholic churches are extremly quiet with high ceilings where a pin dropping can echo.

The last reviews were from 5 years ago and you may not read my comment but hope that some other aspiring writer will see it and take it with a grain of salt.

Look forward to reading you other stories.