Controlled by Love

What the fuck! My shirt has no buttons. I throw it on the floor as I fling open his wardrobe and rifle through his belongings. My eyes fall on his one of a kind, hand signed, favourite band t-shirt. My lips rise in a smirk as I swipe it from the hanger. I pull it on.

He dances nervously around me once he realises what I'm wearing. He orders me to take it off and I lift the scissors and threaten to cut it, if he doesn't back the fuck away. I watch him retreat and sit on the couch. I sit the scissors down and open the fridge. I'm taken aback. It's fully loaded. I'm forced to swallow the hordes of insults, I was about to hurl at him, for being a shit host. Instead I amuse myself by taking one bite out of everything and drinking directly from the bottle of fruit juice. I hope my germs contaminate the next bitch he has back here. I sneer at him. "Take me home."

His eyes raise from the page he's reading to look at me. "Nope."

I blink at him in irritation. He's still pissed about the t-shirt. Fuck him, I'll drive home myself. I run my fingers through my hair. If only I could remember where my car is. What bar did I go to? I must have parked somewhere near it. I check my pockets, but I have no car keys or wallet. My phone is missing. I look at him suspiciously. "Do you know where my wallet or my phone is?" He shakes his head and goes back to reading over his bloody report.

Fuck. I sit across from him and try to think. Without my phone I don't know anyone's number and without my wallet I can't even order a taxi from his phone. My hands dig into my pockets. Even if I ask to borrow money, I don't have my door keys. I left them in the car. Shit. I force myself to my feet. I go and check the bedroom.

"Where are you going?"

I ignore him. In his room I kneel as I check under the bed but there is nothing other than some buttons. I pick up my shirt and try to remember. I get a few flashes of sex with Ben and throw it back on the floor. I realise I might have kissed him first again. I swear the first thing I do when I find my phone is permanently delete his details. This absurdity cannot keep happening.

I tiptoe to the main door and close it quietly behind me. I press the button on the elevator. I sigh as it descends. Where will I go? What will I do? Walk to Peter or Tony's? It's going to take me hours to walk by foot. I know next week this will all be a bad memory, but right now I'm feeling pretty shit and depressed with my life choices.

The elevator stops. As the doors open Ben pushes me back inside. He's out of breath. I don't object as his strong arms grip me in a tight hug. Fuck, I should push him away, but it feels good to be held by someone and I find myself clinging to him. I don't argue as he presses the button to go back up. I can hear his heart racing and his deep controlled breaths from running. It's impressive he made it down in time. It's hard to reject him when he makes these insane gestures.

His thumb touches my bottom lip. I lift my head to look at him. He leans and kisses me. How can someone as strong as Ben kiss so softly. I feel his tongue touch my lip and I open my mouth to let him kiss me deeper. His fingers run through my hair and I feel myself lean against him as his hands pull me tighter towards him.

He releases me as the elevator stops. Inside, I sit down and stare at the cup he sits in front of me. As I lift it, he sits beside me. I watch warily as his hand leans on my knee. "Beth was already seeing that other guy while you were both dating. You were like a last fling before she settled down." I sit the cup down before I drop it.

Fling? We were dating for three years. He is lying. There is no way. He hands me his phone. I glance at the message. He isn't lying. Weirdly I'm not angry at Beth. I'm more furious at myself. What's wrong with me? How could I not notice my girlfriend is seeing someone else. I pull off my glasses. Ben rescues them before I throw them across the floor. I need a pair that actually works. I lie back on the couch and close my eyes. I'm humiliated and feel like a fucking mug. I wholeheartedly thought Beth loved me. We spent almost every evening together. Why? How? When? Did she even find time to see another guy? It doesn't add up.

He strokes my cheek as he leans over and kisses my forehead. "You're going to be okay." I look up at him as he stares down at me. "I wanted more than one night. You left me." He moves away. I need him to hug me again. I sit up. As I put my arms around him, he falls backwards, and I awkwardly fall on top of him. I look down at the blue eyes staring up at me. They are beautiful and scary. I wish they were compassionate and caring. Instead they're watching me like a sex depraved hawk ready to pounce and it sends a pulse of desire through me.

I feel nervous without the courage of alcohol, but I lean down and kiss him. I can feel myself shaking slightly. His hand reaches up and slips through my hair and grips my head. I feel the spin as I land on my back. I like the secure feel of his weight on top of me. His tongue firmly touches and tastes mine. His kisses are ardent, passionate and fuelled with intent.

He reacquires his beloved t-shirt as he tugs it over my head. I close my eyes and tilt my chin upwards as his kisses, lick and nip down my neck. "Gently." I add as his teeth grazes my skin. I remind him I'm still damaged from last night. His eyes glance at me with a predacious glint. His tongue licks and teases me more gently as he moves lower.

His fingers follow his kisses slowly down my chest and abdomen. I watch with mixed dread and anticipation as they unfasten my trousers and then slip inside. His hand is warm as it wraps around my cock and pulls it free from my clothing. I'm embarrassed at how hard I am already. I watch as he squeezes me gently and his tongue slowly licks away the juices that are already weeping from me.

Fuck. My eyes widen as I reach out and grip the couch. He unexpectedly takes me in his mouth and sucks my hard cock to the base and back up in one sudden movement. I bite my knuckle to muffle my embarrassing pleas and whimpers at the focussed intensity of his sucking, lapping, licking and swallowing. His fingers tauntingly fondle my balls before they stroke down my perineum and twist teasingly around my still tender entrance.

I have no control over my cock as it obediently responds to his relentless oral onslaught. I barely get the words "Ben I'm coming" out in audible English. Fuck, he makes me come so fast. "Ben." I glance down at him anxiously, but he doesn't move. I have no control as my warm fluids surge into his mouth. I watch in a mixture of disgust and amazement as he swallows them. He looks up and I flinch as his eyes meet mine.

"No!" My eyes widen and I try to retreat as he moves up to kiss me. "Ben no." Fuck, he kisses me. I baulk as I taste myself on his tongue. I lick the back of my hand. It doesn't help and I sit up and reach for the lukewarm coffee. "That was fucking gross."

He chuckles as he wraps his arms around my waist. "I like the taste of you." I smile as his head leans on my shoulder. He kisses my neck and my hand raises to stroke his hair as I tell him I love him. My cheeks flush as I realise what I've just said.

I feel his arms tighten their grip around me. He whispers, "I love you too." I let out a relieved sigh. He pulls away from me. "Wait here." I watch as he picks up his precious t-shirt and walks down the hall. I wonder what he loves more. Me or that bloody shirt. Ben's someone who doesn't like his things being touched. He lifts it to his face as he turns and shakes his head at me, but he smiles before he disappears into his bedroom. I lift the report from the table and skim over it. I reluctantly acknowledge there is more to Ben than just a pretty face. He might actually know what he's doing.

After fifteen minutes I go looking for him. He's probably fallen asleep. I walk past the main bathroom, then halt at the sound of running water. I take a step back. I look at the reflection of the water on the ceiling and at the tealights scattered all around. There is a gentle breeze from the open window that's causing them to flicker. Ben being romantic. It's certainly not something I thought I'd witness during my lifetime. His chat ups are usually 'I'll buy you any drink you want as long as you suck me off.' Fuck knows how, but it usually works. I've seen girls slap him at a bar only to follow him up to his bedroom a few hours later.

I watch him lean over to turn off the tap. He smiles at me as he pulls his black t-shirt over his head. He tosses it on the floor. He lifts my hands and places them on his toned chest. "Get in. I'll be back in a minute." My hands slip off him as he leaves. I undress and step into the water. It even has a temperature control. Ben is a big child who likes his toys.

I accept the bottle of beer. It still feels odd watching a naked guy get in a bath with me. Even one as fucking stunning as Ben. I move forward so he can slide his legs around me. I blush. I'm used to women leaning against my chest not me leaning against a man. The proverbial rug has been pulled from under my feet. Everything I thought I knew about myself has been flipped upside down and turned inside out. What even is this? Are we now lovers, sex friends? Fuck I'm afraid to even ask.

He kisses my ear. "No complaining or I take the beer back." He reaches for the remote and his heavy rock plays. I've heard worse. My hand rests on his knee. Fuck it feels strange touching him in a sexual way. I smile as he chokes on his beer as I slide my cold bottle down the inside of his thigh. Shit I feel him harden against my back. I didn't think this through. He sits his bottle down and his hands wrap around me. He moves my hair to nuzzle my ear and the back of my neck. I like the feel of his hands sliding over my chest. I feel the twitch as I stiffen even though I came less than 30 mins ago. For reasons, I don't understand, I am undeniably physically attracted to him.

I take his hand and wrap it around my hardening cock. I feel him smile as he kisses my neck. He tells me to stand. As he rises, he pulls me to my feet. I face him. He grips both of our cocks together. I place my hands on his shoulders to watch. Fuck it's so intimate looking at his face while he masturbates us both. I want to kiss him, but I can't stop staring. I can't drag my eyes away from his. He's watching me too. He smiles as his cheeks flush and his mouth opens as his breathing increases. I can feel the involuntary jerks of my hips as they move in time to his movements.

My fingers dig into his shoulders as my own breathing changes. I can feel his muscles in his shoulders and arms hardening and releasing as he works us both together. I glance briefly down to watch his hand sweep over us. We are similar in size and it just looks and feels like sexual perfection as our skin slides back and forth against each other. I raise my gaze to meet his. His eyes are half closed and his face contorts in concentration. My hand grips around his neck and I kiss him before I lean his forehead against mine. His voice is deep and husky as he pants. "I'm ready, tell me, when you are."

I barely nod as I whisper. "I'm close." I glance down at our symbiosis. His hand is moving quicker. I glance at his face. I can hear his whimpers and sighs. There are creases on his face as he strains to hold back for me. It's enough to do it. "I'm coming." I give out a guttural moan and I hear his relief as he does the same. We both shudder and come. I watch our milky discharges shoot and fall together. His head leans on my shoulder and I hug him towards me. His arms wrap around my waist as he pulls me into a tight hold. I feel like I'm glowing. Right at this moment I've never felt closer to anyone in my life. I realise I don't just love; I adore this man. As we sit down together, he can barely sip his beer for me kissing and purring over him like a lovesick kitten.

His hand strokes through my hair. "I want you to stay here tonight."

I realise I need to stop letting myself be seduced by him and drag my satiated ass out his tub. Find the bar I was at and ask if they have my missing items. "Ben, I need to sort out my phone and wallet and car."

He pulls me tight towards him. "You can do it tomorrow. Tonight, I'm taking you out for dinner."

Fuck, while his fingers are pulling at strands of my hair, I feel like I've been immobilised and will agree to anything he demands. He playfully holds his hand against my mouth. "I will tie you up and abduct you if you put up a fight."

I smile. Fuck. How can I refuse. "Fine." I give in.

I roll my eyes as I try to flick through his clothes for something to wear. Not an easy feat with him clinging around me constantly chewing my neck and ears. "Ben!" I laugh and give up as both his arms wrap around me. Now I can't even move my hands. I turn and kiss him. I can tell he's going to be a demanding and needy lover.

He finally releases me and reaches up and takes a shirt off a hanger. "Wear this one."

I don't usually wear black. At least it has white buttons. I pull it on and fasten it. It fits too perfectly. I glance at him as he dresses. There is no way this would ever fit him. I look in his mirror. I can tell he likes it as he glances at me. Not that I need his approval. Still, I smile back at his pleased nod. I'm not sure whether to put my hair up or just pull the front back. He pulls my hands away as he appears behind me. "I like it down." I take a band out my pocket and pull the front back. He shakes his head at my rebellion. I smile as he nudges me out the way to fix his own hair in the mirror.

We head down in the elevator. I feel a bit vulnerable going out with no wallet or phone. Fucker will no doubt make me pay for it in sex later. I take a mental note to make sure I'm rat-arsed before we get back. As we step outside, he hands me his car keys. "You can drive."

"What?" I frown at the keys.

He grins at me as his hand squeezes my ass as he opens the driver's door for me. "Don't crash her."

I narrow my eyes at him. I know how to drive! I close the door of his two-seater Mercedes Roadster that daddy bought him for Christmas. His hand slips up the inside of my thigh as I pull the seatbelt on and start the engine.

"Ben!" I have to pull over at the side of the road. My face is scarlet as he sucks me off. Surely there can't be anything left in me. He's already made me come twice. I can do nothing but sit there with my hands tightly gripped on the steering wheel. People walk past and I silently pray none look too closely. He does realise this is an offence, doesn't he? Fuck. I close my eyes and lean my head back on the head rest. He slows again before I can come. I look down at him. Shit! If he does that once more, I'm gonna finish it myself.

I'm actually squirming in my seat when he does it again. "Fuck, enough, Ben please." Frustration is killing me. He slows again. Fuck it. I can't take it. I grip his hair and force his head down onto me. I feel his mouth tighten around me as I tighten my grip on his hair and I drive him to take me faster. My facial expressions must be priceless but I'm not giving a fuck who sees anymore. All I care about is drowning this evil sadistic bastard's throat in my semen.

He's barely finished swallowing when I flick the indicator on and pull away. I glance at him as he sits up and his thumb wipes my juices from his bottom lip. I shake my head before I smile. "I guess we can skip the starters." He laughs. My cheeks flush as I glance at him. He hasn't even fastened me up. I'm driving with a satisfied but visibly damp cock. When I finally pull up, I have to quickly assemble myself before I can get out. Not an easy feat with a parking attendant hovering at the driver's door. I'm sure he's seen worse.

I make sure to order the most expensive items I can find on the menu since Ben's paying. He leans back in his chair with an amused smile. "I'm sure you will show your appreciation later." I call the waiter back and order all the sides too and the most expensive bottle of champagne.

Ben stops the waiter before he leaves and winks at me. "He can't drink when he's driving. But I'll have another beer." My eyes narrow as he smiles at me. I go to pull out my phone. Fuck you don't realise how much you take something for granted until it's gone.

I sigh as I look at him. "I need to get a new phone."

Ben grins as he pushes a phone across the table. "I got this for you." I smile and accept it gratefully. I have two friends who probably think I'm dead. I'll need to phone them at work to get their numbers. My new phone buzzes. I open the message. 'I wanna fuck you right now.' I feel my cock twitch as I glance across the table at him and he smiles. I add 'Wanker' as a contact name. He glances at it and takes the phone off me. When he hands it back I feel my face flush. He's changed it to 'Boyfriend.' I look at him. He grins at me. "You're blushing."

"I just didn't expect." I reach across the table to take his hand and he pulls away.

He shakes his head. "Don't. People will think we are gay." I blink in confusion. Aren't we?

I stand in the shower. I'm still sober. He made me drive home. Fuck my pulse is racing. I lean one hand on the wall for support and stick a finger in my ass as I wash myself. I know I can't hide forever. I throw myself on the bed. He laughs when I ask him to turn the lights off.

His full weight is on top of me as we kiss. I feel myself harden. I want him. I don't know why I am so scared. We had sex last night. It's just that I've never been fully mentally present when we've done it. He rolls onto his back with me on top of him. He pulls my knees to straddle him. I lean forward and bury a humiliated face in his shoulder as his finger touches then enters me. I feel it move and twist inside.

His free hand grips my hair and raises my head. "Kiss me." I kiss him. His single finger pulls out and I gasp as two slip inside. I kiss him more aggressively to distract myself from the hand that's gently fingering my ass. His fingers slip out and he rolls me onto my back. I watch him get up and walk to the bedside table and open a drawer. He takes out a condom. Fuck I realise we are really going to do this.

He glances at me. "Bend your knees." He's already hard. As I raise my knees, I watch him roll the condom on. I can't breathe. Am I really going to just lie here and let him do this? His hands land on my knees and my stomach clenches as he spreads them further apart. I tense as I feel the hardness of his cock press against me. His eyes raise to look at me. "Take a deep breath, then breath out."

"Ben?"

"Just relax." I take a deep breath and as I exhale, I feel him enter. I take another breath as he penetrates me deeper. Fuck. It doesn't hurt as bad as I was expecting but the feeling. I can feel the tightness as I try not to strain against him. He feels huge inside me. My cheeks flush as his hands land either side of my shoulders and he is looking directly down at me. "I need to go into the office in the morning." I nod. Is he really going to discuss work with his cock fully inside me.

He moves. My fingers instantly dig into his arms. "Fuck Ben. It hurts."

He kisses me. "I'll make it quick." I bite my fist to stop from crying out as he tears into me with fast powerful bursts. It probably only lasts a few minutes, but it feels like an eternity before I feel his shudder as he comes. Pulling out is worse than putting in and my heels dig into the bed at the uncomfortable feeling of something very large slowly dislodging itself from my ass. I'm never going to get used to this sensation.

When I come back from the toilet he is already sleeping. I sit on the bed. Should I kiss him good night? Do I cuddle him? He's sleeping. I shouldn't wake him. I turn my back towards him but before I close my eyes, I feel his arm slide around me and his breath on the back of my neck. I smile as I close my eyes.