Conversation: A Proposed Change

W=wife

H=husband

This is a conversation between a wife and husband about a change she wants to make in their marriage.

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W: I have something I want to talk with you about.

H: What's that?

W: It's about our sex and how we have sex. I want to do it more often maybe even three or four times a week.

H: Wow. That's a plan I can get behind. No pun intended.

W: I do have a plan.

H: Sounds like it.

W: It's pretty specific and it might be kind of hard for you.

H: No pun intended?

W: No. No. Youll see. It's simple. When we have sex you'll enter me, probably from behind. And while you're in me I'm going to masturbate with my vibrator or fingers until I cum.

H: That's cool.

W: You have to stay inside while I do. It's important you pay attention to the sensations you feel when I cum. So you have to stay deep inside.

H: Sounds nice. Is there a point?

W: My doctor says that doing this... that this experience between couples can be very intimate. She said it's bonding.

H: I'd think cumming together would do that. Simultaneous orgasms.

W: No that's going to help.

H: Your doctor told you this?

W: Yes, my gynecologist told me about it.

H: So we have sex or I enter you from behind while you're touching yourself or using your vibrator and I focus on feeling you cum before I do?

That makes sense... the woman should probably always cum first.

W: Yes. You have to stay hard and stay in me and not cum while I have an orgasm or two.

H: I like it.

W: I'm glad but there are a few more things.

H: What's that?

W: After I've had an orgasm or two you slip out and we just hold each other or spoon until I fall asleep.

H: Well that's sweet. It figures a woman doctor is going to advise some spooning after orgasm. Why did you have this conversation anyway?

W: Because I haven't been feeling very good about our sex lately.

H: Really.

W: Yeah. I don't want to hurt your feelings but I was losing my desire.

H: I wish you told me. Ive noticed you don't seem quite as into it.

W: I told my doctor I was losing my desire and that our sex felt boring lots of times and uninspired; routine. To be honest I often don't want to have sex when you do and I do it just to satisfy you.

H: Why didn't you tell me?

W: I couldn't. What was I going to say. "I know we've had a great sex life but I'm not into it anymore, leave me alone?"

H: No. I know. I'm sorry. You could have said something.

W: I wanted to talk with the doctor. My friend Melissa recommended her.

H: You told Melissa?

W: Yes. She recommended the doctor and she called me on the way home from my appointment. She was curious what I thought.

H: So you've told Melissa about your problem.

W: Yes. Melissa was having similar problems.

H: I didn't know you talked about such intimate stuff with her.

W: She's had similar feelings and had to make some changes with Henry.

H: This was really bothering you.

W: It was -lot more than you know.

H: I'm glad you told me. I'm willing to do anything to help you get back to your old desire. I love our sex.

W: Anything?

H: Anything you come up with. I trust you want the best for us.

W: There's no going back. You know that.

H: I do.

W: I love this idea of having you deep inside me when I'm having a great orgasm. I'd love for us to share that.

H: I think that's going to be fabulous.

W: I'm so glad you're open to that. But there's more and it's a big ask.

H: What's that?

W: You don't get to cum.

H: When do I get to cum?

W: You don't. That's a big part of what brings us more intimacy. You don't cum. I cum. Then you slip out and hold me.

H: Then later we do it missionary or doggie style and I cum? You always liked that. You love how I explode inside you.

W: No. We don't do that. We go to sleep.

H: So when do I cum?

W: You don't. You don't cum.

H: How does that help our sex life?

W: I don't want to get too philosophical... but what the doctor said... was that my loss of desire was related to the intensity of your desire.

H: What?

W: Your big desire is shutting my desire down.

H: How is that?

W: Our focus is on your orgasms both consciously and unconsciously and it's shutting me down. My mind and my body are saying,"no." They are leaving the scene because sex has become too fixed on your orgasms. My body is bored with always pleasing you.

H: That's too... metaphysical.

W: What she said works for a lot of couples like us... for six months the man needs to stop cumming. He needs to remain in chastity. He needs to enter his wife and stay deep inside her so she feels his heat and desire. But he must not orgasm. You enter me and stay inside and feel my pleasure but you don't get to cum.

H: Really. That sounds ridiculous. I've always cared about your feelings. It wasn't just about my orgasms. I love licking you...loved feeling you cum.

W: I know. I know you cared about me. But this is about how I've lost our desire in our marriage. You're very always focus your orgasms even when you're getting me off. You're generous with me in so many ways but in sex youre selfish even when you think you aren't. I bet you have three or four orgasms for every one that I have.

H: Probably but I just have more desire than you.

W: Yes and we need to get our desire in balance or we're going to end up parting ways.

H: Really.

W: It's serious. You need to realize that. You need to make some sacrifices for us.

H: Six months without an orgasm is a long time. I don't think that's healthy.

W: Yes. The doctor said you'll probably have some slips and that's okay.

H: I'm sure I will after a week I can see myself entering you and exploding right away.

W: She said the first month will be difficult but you'll get used to it.

H: I can't believe this is a thing.

W: She said it's likely you'll feel much more relaxed about our relationship and that overtime refraining from having orgasms will move your sexual energy from your pelvis to your heart. You'll feel more pleasure and not be so driven. She says it will reduce the way you're so compulsive about so many things.

H: This sounds too New Age to me.

W: Its actually an ancient practice. Men and women have always struggled to stay in balance. It's up to the man to give the woman space to know her pleasure while she's with the man she loves. And there will be times when you get relief.

H: What do you mean?

W: She said that if you haven't had a slip and cum then every four weeks I should milk you.

H: Milk me?

W: Yes. It's a non sexual or non orgasmic act where you get on your hands and knees on the bed and I pull on your penis as if it were a cow's udder until your pent up semen is released.

H: Really? That sounds so medical. So I don't even get to jerk off by myself?

W: No. No orgasms. No orgasms for six months. Your focus is on my pleasure and my sex. The doctor says that will bring us more intimacy and rekindle my desire.

H: What if you want to feel me cum inside you? I think you'd miss that. It's one of the things you've liked most.

W: I've thought about that and it's true.

H: I know it's true. It's one of the best things.

W: Yes. But things are different darling. I have to be honest and I'm little surprised by this. I will love knowing that every time you enter me you're denying a great pleasure...for me and for our relationship.

H: Really. You really think you'll love that?

W: Yes. I know I will. I've already pleasured myself thinking about that. It's a like a dream come true to have a man do that for me.

H: So you really want to do this... I mean?

W: I really want to do this.

H: You really do.

W: I really do. It's just six months and then we'll decide if we want to continue.

H: Okay. My. I need to think about it. Did you tell Melissa?

W: I did. I said I did.

H: Aren't we having dinner with them this month?

W: Yes

H: Geez. So she will know what you're asking me to do?

W: She knows. Henry is doing something similar. She told me. But they take it much further.

H: How's that? I can't believe there's a... "much further."

W: Oh there is sweetheart, much further but I don't want to talk about that. This is something I want from you. I want you to focus on doing this for me.

H: Okay. We'll see. I love you. I'll do the best I can.

W: Thank you darling.