All Comments on 'Conversations 01 - The Dance'

Not a bad little story at all. But you need a different title, Conversations has already been done too well by another author.

Interesting story!

5

I hear what you say but a little more would have been appreciated. 4 stars from me

It will remain inexplicable to me how a man who was so betrayed by his ex-wife wants to have any non-formal contact with her at all. You authors mostly depict the betrayed men as saints who forget and forgive everything! I wouldn't even touch this whore with a pair of pliers, let alone dance with her!

A couple of technical items. Tags are separate from the story for a reason, so that we don't have to open the story to see if it has subjects that we care, or DON'T care for, so to repeat them in the story is kind of redundant. Similarly, you have "Cheating Wife," that sort of includes cheating, and why two 750 word tags.

/

If you think what Karl was thinking would be of sufficient interest that people might want to contact you for it, then you should include it, not artificially cut off the story.

I enjoyed it.

4 STAR

Come on!

Anyone can post what Karl's deep thoughts were? Please?

This should be rewritten to a much longer story like we read in the "after the affair " event. I was really enjoying it and then Bam! Its done.

750’s are hard. You really have to boil it down and strip it out to get the memo version. Writers are delighted when it’s pulled off well, but it annoys 99.9% of everyone else especially when it’s clearly half baked. I can think of only 6 or 7 that have been effectively executed and most are in other categories and unfortunately two have been pulled by a thoroughly bullied author. Even those felt like prologue/epilogue or other chapters were necessary.

So when you cut your own throat with your last sentence, well, it doesn’t help.

I’ll keep my eye out for other chapters and continue to score honestly as I like to encourage cuck writers to reform their act

~Enkidu

I liked it! That was very realistic and as for the cheating second husband, I'll never understand why anyone marries the person they cheat with. It seems predictable and very well described here. Good story.

I think flash stories are not your forte'. Some "deep thoughts" are one of the things missing especially if they are dark. Jennifer's thoughts are missing also. He really has some ass kissing to make up for in her regards. He is either her husband or not! A first dance with his ex wife, even at their daughters wedding, is a serious gaffe and her catty remark should have told him volumes.

You know what... for 750 word, well done. It covered just about everything. I’d like more, I hope there is more, but it was oddly satisfying.

Mystery and intrigue are a hard thing to reach. Yes 750 words is never enough, but once you have cut the ties, how many words should you use. Good job Tinman.

About as good as it gets for any 750 word limit story. 4+****

But there’s a 5***** story lurking there if an$ when you want to expand it 😎

A lot said without saying it. 750 words is tough but you got the whole story in. Kate will never know real happiness again. Once Andy leaves her for the next one, then it will be time to finish the job he started with the jaw. Andy didn't just ruin the dad's life, he ruined the daughter's childhood. He has a lot to pay for. Good job.

As I've said before the 750 word thingy has ruined a lot of potentially good stories.

Why should she be sorry. She obviously got what she wanted. It is sad when people get what they want and then can not appreciate what they have. "The American Way"! You want something then have to put your stamp on it to change it. Next thing you know is you live in a world ruled by people who hate what they have but lack the imagination to create something better.

A sneaky way to squeeze in a LOT more words. Plus, too many adjectives were used which coulda, instead, expressed the consequences on the father/daughter relationship ... or other deeper factors.

Also, having Sweetie2 display concern about Hubby’s dancing undermines her catty comment to Sweetie1 about trusting him! Cannot have it both ways, especially when accepting tough restrictions.

4*

I enjoyed this story and would love to hear the back side but it won't send you comments or feedback,

5 pointy thingies.

One of the better attempts at the 750 challenge and a definitely a 5 star. But the challenge has also ruined what was potentially a even better story as a proper fleshed out story of this would be great as there are things that should be expanded on.

This was very not bad for a glimpse.

Wish this hadnt been a 750 worder.

"The past seven years with Jennifer is what put that pain to rest."

Cool response. Reminded me of Bogart's famous line

"Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn!"

Short and sweet: much was said in few words well put together. Thank you.

I liked it.

Looking forward to more from you.

I also like that you put your TAGS at the beginning of your story. I've suggested to the webmasters that they put tags for all stories on top.

Thank you

Nothing against this author, but I'm sick and tired of this 750 word crap.

No development, barely a plot, no real resolutions, Etc, Etc, Etc.

Say What? A slight look at a possible story and then it disappears. Too low even to rate. Yuck!

I found it lacked something, however before writing my comments I decided to ask for his copy of 'Deep Thought' and I am glad that I did, I suggest everyone should. It's rather dark, but more cheating wife stories should end that way.

not too bad and even tho he didnt get much revenge he got to live well and with a younger model while the ex feels alil bit of what she did to her ex hubby. not sure another chapter would be needed unless its her pov after the wedding and how she maybe deals with her current hubby. im glad she feels guilty on what shes done and hope she still suffers from it. what made this even better was the ex hubby moving on with his life happily. most of these kind of stories make the cheated on hubby miserable and lonely life afterwards til he dies.

It is titled 01, what more is there to be said, she screwed him over and now the evil has gone full circle on her, excellent. Best BTB is live a good life while she doesnt.

JJ

A good preface to a story. Stick with 2 or more pages. 750 word stories leave me unsatisfied.

Nice read. Short, tight, to the point and left one wanting more .

Nice

Short and sweet. Fuck that cunt.

A nice 750, I'll pass on the "deep thoughts" though.

Cheers

SAGE

Jennifer really has no right to be pissed. It's his daughter's wedding and Katie is Hannah's mother, she had to expect some sociable interaction, if she couldn't take it she shouldn't have come.

\

Enough with the "we didn't mean it to happen," or the "we just fell in love." You don't go from friends immediately into lovers. It starts with an attraction, that if you "don't mean for it to happen," then you back off.

@sbrooks103x,

Who are you to say who can be pissed off or not? She had every right to be there.

And who are you to say "enough" about anything in someone else's story?

It feels like about a third of a story. I did enjoy the read.

This is where I'm at odds with this authors. If his first wife had to go looking elsewhere? What's going to make us believe he's any better now?

I gave the "750-word story" a 5 for the Loving Wife category.

BUT ... the Author's note preamble was too long, and the post-script offering his dark thoughts detracted from an otherwise very good stand-alone 750-word story.

4 star - not quite 5. The ex-husband may have gotten some temporary revenge for smashing the ASSHOLE in the face, BUT his daughter really paid the price for his stupidity. Another demonstration outlining why violence of any form is not really an option. However, non-violent revenge is usually longer lasting and very appropriate - if there is a well developed plan of execution. My ancestors are Scotsmen and we hold a grudge until we get revenge.

@tralan69er:

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sbrooks103x was completely correct and he didn't say what you criticize him for saying. As for you, besides a colossal lack of reading comprehension, you seem to have a lot of cuckold story authors favorited. What's that say about you?

"I didn't mean for it to happen" What utter bollocks. You fucking KNOW when attraction is growing, unless you're like 14. And if you have any ethics at all, and are trustworthy, you back the hell away. You don't "fall for his charms," you LET IT HAPPEN because you want to.

I have had this once in my life when it was utterly inappropriate, and I backed away. I even told the other person "I can't separate my attraction toward you from our friendship. Which is not happening since I'm in a committed relationship. This is totally on me, and you've been a good friend. But I can't spend time with you anymore. Goodbye."

Unless the Martian Slut Ray really exists, women (and men) have their own agency. And thus it's totally their doing when they "fall" for someone. He should have burst out laughing when she made that stupid excuse. That scorn would have elevated the story.

A prevailing theme in these type of stories. selfish woman find new love who then he finds greener pastures. I love it in every story and no matter the presentation it still makes me smile. God how i detest selfish women. They should be punished by divorce rulings.

@Anonymous

@tralan69er:

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sbrooks103x was completely correct and he didn't say what you criticize him for saying. As for you, besides a colossal lack of reading comprehension, you seem to have a lot of cuckold story authors favorited. What's that say about you?

I say your comment being anon amouse is rather henny housey, or other wise CHICKENSHIT!

Love is a CHOICE, and an action. Yes, you may find someone to be physically attractive, or emotionally pleasant. Neither of those are love. A married person CHOOSES to not follow up on the attraction, physically OR emotionally!

One of the largest issues in society today is that women don’t have accountability. 200 years ago, when women also didn’t have many choices, and almost no power or authority, the lack of accountability made sense. Now, when women say that they are equal to men, they should be punished for bad decisions, the same as men are!

ZK

Thanky you , Tilman, for sharing Karl's real thoughts. It vindicates this outcome.

When my son was married, I was about 14 years divorced from my ex, and about 8 years married to my present wife. I was approached prior to the reception asking if I would consider having one dance with my ex. I believe my look said it all, but to be sure, I told the person that I would shove the microphone up his ass if he announced a dance between my ex and me along with the stand on which it was mounted.

the fact that he's sorry for her is why she left, weak asshole

DM you for Karl's thoughts? Too dark to be published? The reader shouldn't have to contact you for, what actually is, finishing/ adding to the story.

Good work - not sure about the commentary below.