All Comments on 'Cordelia's Office'

You wrote this in a very haphazard way. The story lacks continuity, and strains credulity (that means it's even more difficult than the usual story to suspend disbelief). You ramble on about insignificant details, while skipping over and ignoring opportunities to actually move the story along. People pop in and pop out like they're all sitting in a green room, waiting for their cue to enter or re-enter the story.

I know this sounds harsh, but if I sugar-coat it, your writing isn't going to improve. You need to know what you're doing wrong if you're going to have a chance to correct it. For starters, you wrote it on a COMPUTER, not a TYPE-WRITER. Just because a thought enters your head after you've already written something, there's nothing stopping you from going back to incorporate that thought where it belongs. There's no excuse for "Oh, yeah…" editing. As in "Oh, yeah, and her coat was green." If you want to edit something, GO BACK AND EDIT IT. You're writing a story on a computer, for God's sake, not telling it from a bar stool.

Best to have cordella spend a,weekend living with barry in the hood. He will get her preggers plus his girl will make her lick cunny each time she pisses in the john. Bbc frriend will stretch her holes with enough cum to fill a horse. Cure her of hating blacks by turning her into a true submissive and more respectable.

Thanks for sharing. A follow-up would be nice.

Wasn't worth the time to read it. Totally unrealistic.

How does it continue? Does David have a stapler collection at home?