All Comments on 'Countdown'

Delicious.

You write well but you need external events while storytelling. Both the audience and the protagonist should know what the rules are - that is, why might a 30 min walk take 2 hours for her? Let’s just say one of the rules is every time she tries to talk to someone she has to tell them she’s a fucktoy. Well this gives her good reason to avoid talking to people which may make certain situations difficult. How she navigates them is the plot of the story. Something as simple as man carelessly blocking her way, who she would have to ask to move, becomes a dramatic twist. Does she turn back and find a different route, try pantomiming, or tell him she’s a fucktoy in the hopes of running past when she startled him.

Kind of lame, unless the ‘master’ doesn’t really give a shit if she gets gang-raped and killed in an alley along the way, because she can’t stop telling people she’s a fucktoy. Either he really doesn’t give a damn about her, in which case this is just an awful story, or he cares for her and wants to keep her, in which case this programming choice is an awful one, because it puts her life in danger. Nice try, but it’s a swing and a miss.