Crash And Burn Pt. 01

I rose up onto my knees and grabbed both of your ankles into my hands. I spread your legs wide into a V and brought my hips up close to you until Oscar, engorged and throbbing, was laying completely over your clit.

I again started grinding my hips into you, this time, having Oscar circle around your tight, pink little button. Our clits battled each other in fleshy swordsmanship, going back and forth and up and down. Each time Oscar came out the winner as he was preparing your knob for a knock or a ring of the doorbell to the entrance of your sweet pussy.

I decided on neither type of polite entrance!

I kicked in the door to your pussy by grinding my aim lower and slamming Oscar a full inch into your wet slit.

Your eyes rolled and all I saw were the whites of your eyes as your head fell backwards. Your whole body started shaking and, for a second, I thought you might faint, but I still did not stop.

I got a good rhythm going rolling Oscar all around your pussy lips, putting him deep in you and then pressing him back up to grind some more against your clit.

You got yourself settled and composed enough to raise up one arm to steady yourself from my humping to bring your face to mine and kiss me deeply once again, pinching my nipples with your free hand.

"Rachel?! Rachel! You're going to make me ka-ka-cuuuuuuuuuuummm!"

Far off in the distance, coyotes howled matching the scream of your orgasm...

"Oww, oww, ahwoooooo!"

Our relationship blossomed and grew over the next couple of weeks. We would go hiking on trails, take trips out of town, and you'd spend weekends at my place. Well, I should probably say that it went great for me. I willed my way and convinced you to hold off on us showing public displays of affection until everything fell better in place for us. This didn't make you happy but the physical attraction we had for each other was something even you couldn't detach yourself from. Our lust grew and turned into a monster that made us careless.

"Hey? Have you seen Maddie?" Duncan Bradley asked after knocking on my office door and peering his head in, "It's almost 9PM and she was supposed to be doing some background research for me in the library."

"Can't you see I'm busy working late, too? Do you walk into someone's home just because you found it convenient to have knocked? You wait until someone answers the door and lets you in and you damn wait till I tell you to come in to my office before you stick your big hairy head in, understand? Now, do you see her in here?"

"Um, ok, I just saw that her purse was still at her desk and wondered if you had seen her, that's all."

"I'm a lawyer who likes their questions to be answered and you have answered not one so far. Turn around and close my door and go find her yourself, Duncan."

He mumbled something under his breath that I could not hear and closed my door. I moved my chair back and looked down between my legs to see your smiling face.

"Whew, that was close! I think I should get back to working."

"No! Don't go yet." I begged, "I want you to finish what you started here first."

"You're a demanding lawyer, too!" you smiled, licking your lips, "I'm no dick like Duncan, I learn well and follow orders. Finish eating your pussy? Yessir, boss ma'am!"

Then you rolled my chair back under my desk and buried your face deep between my legs and started billing my clit for consultation fees.

The next morning I got to work early and as I was walking past the break room I overheard Duncan complaining, presumably about the night before, to a circle of three other male junior lawyers.

"... all by myself. Ended up doing an all nighter! Thanks all to those bitches! But I can't say shit, ya know, because our hot shot legal warrior princess, just named partner, will bite my head off if I say anything negative about her precious little sidekick Gabrielle! Fuckin Lucy Lawlez!"

I was shocked and I panicked at the thought of him describing us. We had been careful and he had seen nothing. Was our attraction so obvious that it had become the talk at the office water cooler? I went to my office and shut the door and racked my brain on what to do. I decided on calling in a favor to some old friends in Flagstaff and then waited for you to come into work.

You hadn't even logged onto your computer yet when I stormed out of my office and confronted you.

"Where were you last night, Madelyn?!" I shouted.

"Eh, um, huh, excuse me?" you stuttered, genuinely caught off guard by my line of questioning.

"You were supposed to be helping Mr. Bradley with his opening summation and he came to me last night, interrupting me and my work, asking for you! Now, where were you?" I leaned in over your desk as the whole office stopped whatever they were doing and looked on.

"I, I, uh, I..."

"That's what I thought! I won't tolerate this kind of lazy work ethic!" I yelled, "You're fired! Pack your things and go!"

I turned and stormed away, not even looking back at you. I passed shocked faces as I walked across the room and back towards my office, ignoring the damage I had left in my wake. I slammed shut my door and buried my face into my hands thinking, "Dear God, what have I done?"

My calls and texts to you went unanswered for weeks afterwards. It was little consolation to you my countless apologies. It didn't matter that I had arranged for you another job beforehand at another law office. The increase in pay I bargained came at the loss of our relationship.

Christmas, the new year, and Valentines Day - I sent you flowers, cards, stuffed animals, and chocolates. Anything to get you to talk to me again. I was about to give up when I decided to appeal to your traditional upbringing and sent an Easter card that read: "Proverbs 17:9, Love prospers when a fault is forgiven, but dwelling on it separates close friends."

You agreed to come over to my place for dinner on that Friday the 14th and I was so happy and excited to redeem myself and show you that I was now ready for the kind of love that you needed.

I called my maid service to make an extra stop to have my house spotless. I sat at my desk planning out the perfect mood music and dinner to serve for us and decided to leave work early to get a head start for our date.

I got on the elevator and just as the door was closing a hand reached in, stopping its movement and Duncan stepped in.

"Hold up! Mind if I hop on? I gotta hot date and I'm jetting outta here early. Don't wanna keep the ladies waiting for all this, ya know what I mean?" he said pointing at his crotch.

I rolled my eyes and pressed again the button for the garage floor and the elevator doors closed as I wished to end the short ride without conversing. I stared straight in front of me and felt Duncan eyeing me from my side.

"You think you've got everyone fooled, don't you?" Duncan began.

"Excuse me?"

"C'mon, Rachel, when are you gonna take your furry mittens and come play some catch on my softball field?" Duncan said.

"Fuck off! I'm not gay. I know what you're implying, Duncan."

"Oh, yeah? Then I guess this will definitely turn your cock lacking, stuck up ass on then," he said taking advantage of the small space we were in and backing me into the corner and stuffing his tongue in my mouth.

I immediately pushed him off of me as the elevator doors opened and threatened to cut off his balls if he ever dared touch me again.

"What are you gonna do now? You can't fire me, Rachel!" he laughed holding the elevator doors as I walked away to my car, "No one saw a thing and I'm bringing in more money to the practice now than you used to!"

"You're a piece of shit and mean nothing to me, Duncan!"

"This was fun, babe! We should do this again next week. Rachel?! Rachel?! You hear me talking to you! Ha-ha, you know you want this cock! And I'm gonna give it to you, too, hard! That's a promise."

I hurriedly made my way to my car and pushed all thoughts on Duncan out of my head because my only concern was you. I refocused my mind on making our night together an occasion to celebrate a fresh start. This was going to be a night all about you, for you, and the future of us.

And things went well. Things went better than expected. I opened my door and there you stood just as beautiful as ever. That tight body of yours, flowing dark hair, those intense eyes and sexy smile. I wanted to touch you so bad. I imagine it must've felt the same for you as well. The months of tension between us disappeared and the usual sexual electricity between us returned and filled its place. We barely could say hello to each other and soon found our way to my bed.

I woke up early the next morning from a clap of thunder and a hard rain pelting against the sliding door leading out into my back deck. I brushed aside the curls hiding your face and sat up in bed staring at you sleeping comfortably for over 20 minutes before I decided to get up and go make some breakfast for you. I would need to talk to you and explain all that had happened and what I was thinking that day and all the months since. I needed to let you know that you were more important to me than my career. That I was ready to be with you forever. I thought having breakfast in bed together would serve as the perfect backdrop to finally talk to you on all these things.

I was just finishing with your scrambled eggs when another loud thunder seemingly shook the house and you came running out the bedroom screaming. I thought you were afraid of the storm, but you weren't screaming in fear - you were screaming at me.

"Are you fucking him?!"

"Huh? What?"

"You're fucking Duncan Bradley!" you shouted holding my cell phone in hand.

I moved from over the stove but you were over me in a second and backing me against the kitchen counter.

"I knew this was too good to be true! You think I'm stupid? He says right here, "Loved kissing you. Next time, let's finish up in my bedroom. Are we still on for next week?"

"No! Maddie, I..."

"You've fucked him! You fuckin fucked that filthy piece of shit Duncan Bradley! You haven't changed! It's just a game to you! Everything is a means to an end. It's still all about Rachel and Rachel Anderson's image and career. You're not ready for me. You will never be ready for anyone but yourself!" you cried flailing your arms and waving the phone.

I tried to explain. I tried to calm you down, but you didn't want me to even touch you. You continued waving your hands around in disgust and accidentally grazed a part of my chin with the phone and I stumbled and reached back and burned my hand against the stove and...

And then everything was a blur.

No. No, it wasn't a blur. I'm sorry for sitting here and telling you that lie. I remember everything. I remember everything and so do you. I swung back and struck you. I slapped you in the face. I hit you so hard that the phone flew out your hand and against the wall and you fell unto the kitchen floor.

"Stay the hell off of my phone! You've no right to judge me or look at my things!" I yelled.

I must've looked horrible to you. I know I scared you. You had your hands up and over your face ready to protect yourself as I hovered over you with my clenched fist.

"Maddie, listen to me, please. I don't know what got into me. I didn't mean to strike you. I know I didn't. Why did you have to look at my phone? That was the only thought that was going through my mind at the time. I am begging you to believe me now. Please, after all these years, I swear I didn't mean to hit you!"

It was now close to an hour that we had been sitting here looking over Sedona and still you just laid there soaking in the bright afternoon sun next to me in silence, unmoved by words, by my now annual reliving of our remorse. You just sat there saying nothing.

"You're going to make me continue talking, recapping everything until the end, aren't you?" I sighed and my voice cracked as I choked on my words, "Ok, then."

You managed to pick yourself up off the floor and ran screaming out my door: I picked up the shattered pieces of my phone and threw it in the trash. Peering out my kitchen window, through the downpour, I could see you in your car hunched over the steering wheel, your body heaving up and down, convulsing uncontrollably as you cried like I've never seen anyone cry before.

"Fuck!"

I ran outside barefooted and was drenched after taking 2 steps and as I approached your car I could see a bloodied tissue on your dashboard.

You looked up and saw me coming and turned the ignition just as I got to your car.

"Come back inside! Let's talk. I can explain!" I said with my palms open against your car window, "Don't go! Maddie listen! I love you! This is all wrong! It's a terrible misunderstanding!"

You looked at me with fear in your eyes as blood streamed out your nose and you hit the gas pedal, spinning your back tires out into a doughnut and almost running me over as I angrily slammed my fist into the back of your car.

"Dammit, Maddie, stop!"

And that was it. That was the last time I saw you. I stood there in my driveway angry and soaked, cursing at the world as you drove off bruised, bloodied, and heartbroken.

"I guess we're now to the part where I say I'm sorry and ask for forgiveness, huh?" I say standing up and stretching my legs.

I stare off over the rocks and into the distance and I look over the city below us and people are still busily driving around in their toy cars. Off to the right there's a hot air balloon floating off towards the desert. It's bright yellow and made to look like a smiley face. I imagine the people in it are laughing and having a good time and smiling as they look down on the two of us.

"You can't be right about everything. There's proof right there in that balloon that pretty things can be seen in the sky during the day," I say with my eyes filling up with tears.

The state trooper said in the accident report that there were no skid marks. It didn't appear that you were able to use your brakes at all. He surmised that you hit a wet spot and skidded directly into the concrete pillar of the overpass. You didn't have a chance. You died instantly. "Adverse Weather Conditions" is what the contributing cause was officially listed as.

But I know.

Well...

I think I know.

When I replaced my broken phone, and got my old number up and running, it showed no voicemails left despite there being 7 missed calls from you. There was one thing - a final text that read: "I loved you! I can't see you anymore. Goodbye."

"You know I didn't want to attend your services. I wasn't going to but your parents said they had already arranged for me to be by their side during the ceremony and that I was "family" as far as they were concerned."

I stop staring at the balloon. I turn away from the cliff, reach over, put my hands around you, pick up your urn and walk over to the very edge of the rock and look over the valley.

"You have the best parents, you know that? Your parents gave you to me. They said that you had told them that we were a couple - a happily in love couple. That you had said that you were with your soulmate. They said you had told them that if anything ever happened to you that I would know exactly where to take you. That I would know where you would want your ashes spread."

"Do you remember? 'From here on out, this is going to be our special place,' is what you had said to me."

"Did you? Did you, Maddie? I have to ask was it a rain soaked road or did you, were you..."

I hang my head and hold your remains tight against my chest. Countless drops from my eyes hit the dry, red dirt around my feet and I make a wish upon an airplane or a floating balloon because I can't see any stars streaking freely across in this sunlit sky.

I cry out my wish because I feel powerless and can do nothing else...

"I wish I could wrap my arms around this whole world! Hug all the beauty that you showed me was in it right before my eyes that I was too busy and ignorant to see."

The tears come rushing now and I can't stop them. I can't stop crying.

"This world, this beauty in it - all things better left for wordsmiths and poets much better than me to describe. I really only wish I could wrap my arms around the physical presence of you - just one more time."

I carefully tilt the urn and hold a handful of ashes tightly in my grasp as a gust of air rises up from the canyon below and swirls around me wanting to take away my burden in the breeze.

"So, you see the issue facing me now? You see the problem I have? I only have just a years worth of your ashes left and I don't know what to do. Your parents trusted me to do right with your remains because you believed in me. You believed in us. You never told them about the hurt I caused you or all the pain! I hope you understand. Please understand! I can't let you down in death like I did while you were living. I just can't! But, but... Madelyn Carson! I don't want to let the rest I have of you go and leave my life like dust in the Arizona wind."