All Comments on 'Crystal Chandeliers'

All I can say is, that I'm glad that I didn't have to try and follow your version!

A story written with Jack's normal smooth style.

For People who aren’t aware (because I know there are some out there) "JakeRivers" is "Dynamite Jack's" latest incarnation.

DC

Nicely done. I used to fish and water ski on Coleto Creek Reservoir and my brother had a cabin on the creek. Your story brings back fond memories of South Texas, the River Walk, San Antonio, and the good Texas people. Thanks for sharing.

totally enjoyed it. some of the smoke in those bar-b-qs got to my eyes for a bit and made it water towards the ending, but im fine. thanks for the story.

Jake you write a very excellent yarn. Sophie's choice was abysmal. She was left with empty material things. Love does come around like a merry go round, to be picked off. A love connection traded in for fools gold. Thank God he got lucky. I think it's called karma. Thanks for writing, Luis.

A beautiful tale with just rewards. Now I want some beer and BBQ.

great

You have me thinking about moving back to Texas.

Great story ---Love wins out!

Damn, I want some BBQ and a Beer and it's only 09:45

Again Great Story

HAl

Say what you may, Jack is a master of the Romantic genre. I truly enjoyed this and appreciated the detail which gave the story even more substance. Great job, Jack. The quality of your writing doesn't disappoint.

Don't know what happened - the below comment was from me.

'DJ:' Excellent!! One of the most literate offerings I've read here. Your talent is second to none!!

DJ/Jack you did a great job as you always do.<p>Sophie will never really learn what pain is as she is insulated from the world by her own self-gratification. She has really only been sad at what she couldn’t have and moved on with her wish of wealth and fame being fulfilled by her new writing acclamation. She lives for applause and any way of getting it is still her calling.<p>The love Chuck has found with Ana is true love in a person who values and revels in what he values and that is what we all would have prized to start a relationship in.<p>Great entertainment and such a wonderful romance in a fantastic trip with our minds eye of South Texas and the people it celebrates.<p>Thank you so much as this week has brought well written stories for my mind to memorialize.<p>PT

Fairly interesting storyline. The telling from three points of view was a bit awkward and detracted from the story.

I loved it

I loved it

<p>JR does his usual good job with the technical aspects of writing. In this story, there are no blatantly misspelled words, no massive grammatical errors, no big problem with punctuation, and he knows how to construct a logical paragraph and sentence. </p>

<p>However – darn it – the story itself is awkward and unappealing. Perhaps a previous commenter has it right. Trying to tell the story line from three viewpoints just wasn’t the right thing to do. Additionally, there’s not much substance to the story. Boy meets girl, boy loses girl, boy finds another girl. {shrug} That’s okay, I suppose – but it could have been expressed in just those few words for all the originality and freshness in the plot. It could have been spiced up with some strong emotional content, but the whole approach was unpleasantly bland. The characters actually seemed detached from everything they were doing and also with what was happening to them. To me, this story reads like one rushed into “print” without review or proper edit to find the holes.</p>

<p>I’d have to say this wasn’t one of JR’s better efforts. There was a lot of potential, but it just fizzled out. Pass it by, reader.</p>

<p>Ron123XYZ@foreveranonymous.naturally</p>

Have people not been reading the stories on this site? Wives encouraged by husband to be a paid whore, pissing fantseys and stories written by kids with learning disabiltes, ect! We get a enjoyable, well written, thoughtfull story with likeable people and you nit pick. Any more a story I can finish gets a 50% and one this good gets a 100%. Thanks and keep writing!

<p>The first wife was as mercenary as they came and by the end of the story really didn't get everything she hoped would make her happy</p>

<p>Chuck in the end was happy but he had had to go through a lot of rough patches to get there</p>

<p>But something Harry said did bother me too. The first wife seemed too surreal. How would having your butt kicked be called a "pleaseant experience"? When her part of the story was told from her view it seemed really disjointed and surreal. But the rest of the people seemed to work well.</p>

<p>But still it was one of the best I think I've read by you. Nice story, thanks for writing it.</p>

-Risq

finder. She found your heart and encased it with the gold of her eyes shining on you. I am glad the first wife finally did grow up. She was such and immature child. Bueno suerte y long life, como no, eh?

Good, well-told tale, with an especially good insight into the Texican culture. I've come around to a grudging tolerance for Harry, because when you get past the verbiage, the bile and the bad grammar, he often has some pretty keen insights into an author's writing that the author sometimes misses, being too intimate with the work. And, to be fair, he is good with praise when he finds something he likes. My main problem with him and other critics is that they extrapolate their views, their desires and their potential actions and feelings on the characters in the stories they read. In this case, they fail to understand that the very traits that made Chuck so desirable - his low-key personality, his enormous capacity to love, his silent strength - make him incapable of giving Sophie the piece of his mind that they believe "any man" would do when she shows up unexpectedly. He can't do anything but be civil toward her, because that's the way he is. And, too, they miss the point, I believe, when Sophie calls her visit with Chuck, "pleasant." She did have a pleasant visit with Chuck; it was the encounter with Ana that was anything but pleasant. The key is that she mentions nothing at all about Ana. So, too, is a fairly significant misunderstanding of Sophie's character. She knows what she's lost, what she sacrificed for her desires for fame and fortune. It comes through loud and clear when she says that she's had relationships with men, but none have given her the love she knew she had with Chuck. And I believe she knows she made her bed and she has to sleep in it, that she can never go back. She made one stab at it, but it's pretty clear that she knew in her heart that Chuck would never take her back, Ana or no Ana. These are subtleties of writing and character-building that Jake and a select few others are masters at. As usual, Jake shows us how it's done.

Sometimes we are so attuned to attaining some stature in our lives that we pass up the things that really matter most!! Sophie finally figured that out but it was too late to recapture what was lost, had been let go.. But we do have a happy ending for him and maybe, too, for Sophie.. There are words in here I don't quite understand [I don't speak any Spanish] but it's not distracting to me..

Everyone got what they wanted in this one. An excellent read! I did think that her quick departure with Joseph really labeled her as a whore. Sophie loved "Chuck" like Joseph "loved" her. Unfortunately, many writers would have tried to form a reconciliation between Chuck and Sophie. Thanks again! _____________________________________________________

SleeplessinMD

a good story. and i liked the way you portrayed the feelings of the characters. nice work JR!

who loves you that is important. Sophie was from the start a calculating collector marrying her starter husband. She allowed herself with no morals or emotions to be seduced and whored out. Later she found that love was more important than things but to late for her. He learned that more than one love is out there, and you have more than one soulmate potential in the world. It took me a while, and some real hurts, to find the one woman that make me totally complete and filled. She is with me, men have tried money and fame to get her away but she loves with a fire very few understand. We are like one person walking in two bodies, now my friends that is love.

in reading other comments people have disparaged sophie , but to me she was a victim just as well because she learned the hard way what love is to late to understand its true meaning and that happens to lots of people and this story shows with annas reaction what love realy means, fighting for those you love even if they do not know that you love them.

I especially liked the geographic and cultural descriptions. Told as if a true native of the area. Intelligent characters and well developed, with a nice flow.

Bravo.

Yep it happens. They use ya to climb them stairs. I think my last wife has been married 6 times now. In only 20 years. Each one letting her slither up a little higher on the food chain. Wonder if they ever really find happiness? But it is a great story.

I think jake rivers is an awesome writer-- but his male characters are way too fucking nice! This story really annoyed me a little because the actions of the character ( the one the gold digging bitch dumped him for) don't fit -- I really don't see him giving her 2.5 million dollars in a divorce, he's an arrogant, egotistical douche. What I find amazing is the little talk on the porch when the whore came crawling back, I really can't see a betrayed spouse having this nice calm conversation with a spouse who left them without a second thought, so she can fuck her way to stardom, It's ridiculous. I'd be angry, she dumped him in a letter, she didn't even have the respect or decency to tell him face to face. The letter was so fucking shallow. I think the plot was great, the writing awesome but his niceness was nauseating.

I enjoyed the story. It was light and comfortable to read. We didn't have to go through all the anguish and agony so many jilted men suffer. To be sure our protagonist did suffer, he suffered terribly, but he took it like a man - on the chin. He could have played the asshole and chased after her all the way to New York. He could have played the crybaby and gone to New York with tears in his eyes. No, he suffered and went on, a true stoic. When she came back he didn't tear her a new ass; no he stood firm. No she didn't want what he had to give. He acted like a man.

I pity Sophie; she was never really happy, not ever. I missed not hearing about the kids Ana and our hero had. Raising kids is fun, very rewarding, and hearing a description of some aspects of that at the end would have been good. It would have been a good counterpoise to Sophie's life. It would have contributed to the appreciation of the barrenness of Sophie's life; imagine alone in a house on a hill overlooking the ocean, the cold grey ocean, the fog, the cutting wintry wind, the finality of the isolation, Sophie all alone with her books, her keyboard, her money, and her office while Ana and our hero were back at the big family gathering drinking beer, eating hot food, singing, dancing, and being alive.

but its fragility is impossible to know, TK U MLJ LV NV

Loved this story. Well written!

Fulled with good people -

Nice work thank you -

Your stories always come from a different angle.....it never seems to be about betrayals....but what comes after. There is life after cheating spouses. Your glass is half full.

. . . you wove a web around the reader -- me -- so tightly that I knew this man Chuck and his first wife as if they were my neighbors. Even without the comment about the fourth anniversary, that there would never be a fifth one, I could sense what was coming, and what the motivation would have to be to take her away from him. Then when the little firebrand of a Mexican girl showed up, I knew that she would take over the day to day management of the business, and that they would get married and stay married, long before your words said so.

I could no more have abandoned this story half read than I could have stopped breathing. This is a good story, well planned, fleshed out with just the right amount of detail to make it real -- in short, a good tale well told.

I enjoy the romance aspect of Jake's stories. I enjoy his dialog and structure. Unfortunately, I don't enjoy Jake's wishy-washy, wimpy enabling of the cheating Sluts that are always allowed to profit and succeed in their lives after hurting/destroying a good man.

Perhaps, Jake is just more forgiving or better balanced or more "mature" or something but it grates on me to see these self-serving cheats not pay the full price of their selfishness and infidelity.

Just my thoughts,

YMMV

Morgan DeWolfe

I'm tired of the whole cheating whore wives getting everything and living a "Happy" life afterwards. And the robotic sentence structure is just terrible, real people don't talk like that.

and, not being in Loving Wives liberates us from revenge. The first time we read

Sophie's POV it was obvious that she would not sacrifice anything for another person.

Funny, but many of the artistically inclined people that I know are very self absorbed and have relationship problems. So imagine that Sophie is well drawn.

this fits snugly in place. We can see and touch the landscape, smell and taste the beer and BBQ, and hear the tones of the Texas dialect.

Thanks

Excellent

I enjoyed the way that the story unfolds as life continues after Sophie leaves - chasing her crystal chandeliers. Sophie's return and the way it was handled was the jewel of the story - with Chuck's advice to her about how to live her life going forward and her advice to Chuck to "grab that girl".

Now I get to read a lot of your other stories.

Fantastic Story! ......It should have been in the Loving Wives Section?..".Sophie was an idiot!".... I'm glad Chuck found True Love with Ana!

Anyway that's my Comment ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ WOOF!

I read several stories from Literotica each day, on average (I'm retired - this is my "job"). I can go days without finding a gem like this.

To me one of the great features was the 3 POVs (point of views), each with its own distinctive flavor -- even including latina Texan! Jake Rivers was able to put himself (and thus us) into the heads of 3 distinctive individuals. Wow!

The use of songs to give a certain flavor and structure to the storyline showed great artistic skill.

Jack Straw's comments (4-27-07) capture the personality of Chuck, showing why he is neither a doormat nor a revengeful person and convincing me that I was wrong to think this tale belongs in Loving Wives as I had first thought. I wish the world could be populated with people like Chuck.

Paul in Oklahoma

Chur bro awesome story

Did she ever, eventually, find her 2nd love of her life after tossing away her first?

5-stars & “Favorite”

great story

an amazing insight into the ``AMERICAN WOMAN`` all about HER dreams HER goals HER wants HER needs never considering what HER actions may do to others.

SHE deserved that HER 2nd husband didn`t give a shit about her and personally i hope she dies as lonely old piece of shit that SHE was

5* many hardons and a couple of orgasms

This was a great love story, bravo.

Good Read!

What a great story, sorry for the dumb ass Sophie, but glad it worked out for Chuck and Ana. Had to laugh when Ana lit into Sophie, but she deserved it. Always nice to be able to smile at the end of a story, and this one sure did end with a smile. Thanks

Oh! Man!..That had a for real "HAPPY ENDING"

Better than Mills & Boon or Harlequin books

💯🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🐕😉

Wonderful story. There is much truth to it, as Sophie realized- too late. True love doesn't need a lot of money and possessions, just enough to be comfortable. Probably the greatest lesson Sophie learned, was when Ana gave her the what for and staked a claim to her new man...

Sophie really got hers. When you hear somebody truly say, "I love you", take it to heart. Don't throw it away, as Sophie, with all her money, found out. Besides that, Ana went through the pain of childbirth, for the man she truly and proudly called "MY HUSBAND". Sophie was never really proud of him...

I'll bet Chuck, at the time of the skirmish, was thinking, "my REAL WIFE kicked her ass!"

It's not very well written. Very stilted. However, it is a lovely story.

Great story, well done. Thanks for posting.

Jake, I have only read a few of your stories so far and now after reading this excellent story I will make a mighty effort to peruse more of your great ciphers on the Lit. site.

I loved this story. I am not hard to please, I judge a story by how much I like it, with the story line,characters, and places all contributing to my minds eye view of a story.

The misspelling of words or punctuation errors don't bother me and distract from my reading enjoyment, as some commenters always seem to nitpic to damn much. (Well SOME authors are so bad that I just don't read their stuff).

Anyway a big KUDOS for a well written story. 5 ***** More if it were possible.

A story of true love, sad at times, ending in a happy note. Well written, strong characters 5*

This is a GREAT STORY !💯💥💫

An eclectic story line, relatable characters,

a MC that really had integrity, a heart and guts refuses devolve to a cuck.

Well done!

What a great story. You have a way of making me feel like I am part of the story. Thank you for sharing 5 stars from Xluckylee

Kluckylee hit it.

You have a way of making me a part of the story.

Thank you!!!

"A few years later, drives were made up the Chisholm and Goodnight Trails to Kansas.'

I love stories form history but a correction is needed.

https://www.gannett-cdn.com/-mm-/ac0acbf33b7a8e254eea6cb2ebc4ede170d72c02/c=0-119-492-397/local/-/media/2017/10/23/TXGroup/CorpusChristi/636443800315968245-tt-28-3.jpg?width=3200&height=1680&fit=crop 20240105 9:48 GMT

The Goodnight trail went through New Mexico Colorado and on to meet the Pacific Railroad at Cheyenne Wyoming