All Comments on 'Cumming in There'

Bullshit dude written lesbian wannabe porn.

I stopped reading this as soon as you mentioned that Beth was lesser than Melanie because she was poor. I almost never leave comments, but I'm actually quite angry now...

Shakespeare you ain't.

I am sorry to have offended and disappointed my first three commenters. But, in my defense, I’ve never claimed to be, nor aspired to be, on the level of Shakespeare. Plus, he wrote comedic and tragic plays instead of short sleazy stories, so I don’t see how the comparison is applicable.

If you read carefully you will clearly see I (the author) never said Beth was lesser than Melanie because of her poverty. Beth, the character, was the one who felt resentment about being poor. I work with homeless, incarcerated, and at risk youth. Trust me they are not rich, but they are amazing as they overcome the obstacles associated with their financial situation. To the commenter I made “quite angry now” I am sorry, but you need to understand that was the voice and judgement of Beth, not the author.

To the commenter who described me as a, “Bullshit dude written lesbian wannabe porn,” you should’ve said, “wrote.” Beyond that, I would’ve appreciated more constructive feedback to help me be a better author in the future.

I read your apology but it wasn't one really. Instead of being sorry, you went and insulted your readers that bothered to comment. Denigrating your readers is the surest way to guarantee your stories won't be read. If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen, Dude!

I'm not that into fantasizing about teenage girls, but I found the writing to be engaging; I was surprised when the story ended so abruptly. I'd be interested in reading what happens next.

This is obviously written by a guy. None of the characters are portrayed as likeable. The story isn't written in a manner that is kind to women, nor is it very sensual really. It's filled with slang terms from a male POV and many of the them are used lewdly, to insult, not in a way that is sensual, sexy or complimentary, Over use of derogatory terms is most evident when you refer to the scent of "girl cooch". Cooch is an insulting term for vagina, and using "girl cooch" is weirdly redundant. Unless you're claiming there's such a thing as "guy cooch", perhaps.

The overall tone of this story is misogynistic. You're obviously quite proud of your self proclaimed "hard salami" (I've read your bio page), but rather than using it in a loving or sexy way, you use it to pummel and assault women. Sure, many men read lesbian sex for the turn-on, but for many women, whether str8, bi or queer, we come to this category to read something meaningful and loving. Stories like this one that portray women as disgusting, insulting and crude are not what I enjoy reading. You've got some talent as a writer and can turn a good phrase, but as a queer woman, this story had none of the elements that I want in an erotic story. Colleen Thomas, or LesbianChickLit, FiveWolves or AVixenLiterally, PacoFear or -Ripley- and quite a few others are wonderful story tellers that write lesbian sex stories. Your offering is incredibly weak in plot, with poor characterizations and phrasing that is generally angry and crude. I wish you'd take your talent and write a story from your heart. This one is just too angry and spiteful.

If you're going to write about rape, there should be a reason for it, but you just use rape grartuitously, as a cheap thrill, for no other reason than to satisfy your own prurient selfish intersts. It does nothing to further the storyline.

I'm not sure who your target audience is or exactly what you are trying to say in this story. It failed to do anything other than irritate me enough to write an excessively long comment that you'll probably bash and dismiss, which is okay because I don't care. However, you do care, too much so. Being so defensive and thin-skinned that you respond by posting a comment boasting about your work as a champion of the oppressed and lower classes is actually quite pathetic. You don't like criticism and arrogantly believe you have the right to judge whether a comment is vallid. I'll grant that you have a hard salami, the problem is you don't have any balls!

You didn't understand my comment so I'll rephrase it: Your story is bullshit! It's dude-written wannabe lesbian porn

Further, you used rape as a lierary contrivance without purpose. That is disgusting.

I realize now I've posted this story in the wrong category. It's clear the lesbian section wants stories with more character development and a more amiable loving interaction between the characters.

I am a guy, who probably writes stories appealing to other males. I thought it would be okay to post my story in this section to reach my intended audience. But, I see now it isn't, and you can all rest assured, from the reception I've received, I won't post in this category ever again.

I've seen stories spend time creating meaningful and loving situations, but plenty of stories get right to the sex. I've always worked in the latter field. That aspect might not make me suited to writing lesbian erotica for women.

I’ll admit, my last comment wasn't a full apology; that was only because I felt giving a halfhearted apology would’ve been disrespectful when I believed there’d just been a misunderstanding that needed clearing up.

Through the more constructive criticism I received via email, I understand now that the term "cooch," was offensive. I’d seen prickly terminology used in other stories and mistakenly thought I could use them for effect in mine. Stories require conflict, and I was trying to create a sense of anger and aggression by using those charged terms because that's what my antagonist was feeling and it was motivating her actions. I also used those terms in an attempt to create variety. We've all read stories where the author uses the same word again and again. I didn't want to do that to my readers.

"This is obviously written by a guy," you are right, I am a guy--sorry. But to say, "None of the characters are portrayed as likeable," seems unfair; isn't Melanie likable, and what about James? Sure the antagonists are unlikable, but they’re supposed to be.

The "reason" for the rape: it was a tool the antagonist used to attack the protagonist. I am sorry it was felt I, "used rape as a literary contrivance without purpose." I had created an antagonist who was enraged and vengeful, so her use of it, in a fictional story, made sense to me, and since it was fiction and not something I would condone in real life, and since this site has a whole section devoted to it, I don't see why you're calling me out as, "disgusting."

The reason I’ve gotten defensive is because a commenter took potshots at my penis: "More like an itsy bitsy cocktail sausage," instead of suggesting better terms for female anatomy. The latter would've been a lot more constructive. I’m comfortable and confident, it just made me sad. It felt a little low on her part and certainly not helpful.

When I was told my, "story is bullshit! It's dude-written wannabe lesbian porn;" I wondered is that not okay? I also don’t see how that was constructive. In fact, it gave the impression that authors of lesbian material that might appeal more to males was not welcome in this genre. If that is the case, I didn’t know. And, of course it is written "from a male POV;" I'm a guy!

Stories don’t have to be kind to every walk of life. I wonder if I made the villains straight guys, used derogatory male terms, and posted this under non-con if I would've been fine.

I've been ecstatically married for nearly eight years and I'm quite confident my wife and daughter would describe me as loving and gentle. I don't think they would consider me, "misogynistic," and I have certainly never pummeled or assaulted women. I have read plenty of stories on this site with a very similar tone to mine. Don't forget, this is fiction and not necessarily representative of the author’s personal feelings.

I’ve never intentionally targeted an audience, nor do I think I'm trying to say anything with this story. To me, this is no different than the videos on youporn.com lacking moral or meaning. I just write in the hopes of helping people get their rocks off; I’m not trying to make a commentary on life or the world.

I honestly picked the pseudonym HardSalami because I like sandwiches and thought it had a decent double entendre, not because I have some egotistical complex.

The only reason I brought up my work was as evidence that I had no bias against poverty, I am sorry you misunderstood my intent because it wasn’t to be boastful. I was just supporting a claim.

A big part of my writing curriculum is having students review and comment on their peers' work. They know to mention what they liked and didn't like, why they felt that way, provide constructive suggestions, and abstain from using inappropriate language and/or putting down the author personally. Those concepts should hold true here.

Of course I can question the validity of a comment, I do it all the time in student papers when they don't explain themselves or support their ideas and opinions, especially if they don't offer solutions or alternatives. Imagine a movie review that said nothing more than "It was a bullshit action movie." You'd be frustrated because it’s an opinion without any explanation or support. Posting" Shakespeare you ain't," doesn't help either:" explain, support, suggest, so I can improve.

I think I can stand the heat; I would just appreciate it to be delivered in a nicer and more helpful way.

Honestly, I'm just trying to explain myself and create a dialog to help us understand each other. Please don’t misinterpret this post as bashing or dismissive. I've tried to stay respectful by not using bad words or put downs and considering I took the time to carefully write this, I certainly haven't disregarded what you've all said.

Basically, in my half apology, I was just trying to clear up what I thought were some misunderstandings. I might have sounded upset because I was saddened with the decorum of some reviewers. I haven't called anyone names or made fun of them physically.

Looking back I realize I posted this story in the wrong section. But, I believe it is good to care what people think about my stories. I'm fine if you don't like my story, it just makes me sad to think I've upset readers. That is why I spoke up when I felt this story had been misinterpreted. I am eager to be a good author, but making cracks about penis size or lack of balls and using less than polite formal language has no place in the comments section of the most respectable erotic literature site.

As I keep explaining, I don't mind criticism at all, I just think it should be done in a polite and constructive manner. I take a lot of time to write and edit my stories and I just didn’t want this one to be misrepresented because of misunderstandings. People defend their doctorate thesis; it should be okay for me to defend my story.

As for "a story from your heart," I would encourage you to read my first story, "Crafting the Perfect Story." It is the one I'm most proud of, but it doesn’t seem to get as many reads as my other more aggressive stories. That is why my tone has changed over the years.

Let's explain ourselves and avoid bad words and creative a positive environment. I am afraid once again I am going to be misconstrued defending/explaining myself, but that is not what I intend or want.

Honestly have a great weekend and enjoy the fantastic weather!

He's apologized twice, jeez. You obviously have some reservations about this story so just leave it as you found it and go read the stories that you like. No need to curse him out or try to make this about degrading women or whatnot. He tried and he will not write anymore like this so leave him alone.

And this turned me on. A little longer would have been nice tho.

Didn't like the story. The comments were more interesting than the story. The story is cowardly, spineless. If the author is trying to present himself as a creative writing teacher, I fear for his students. There's nothing noteworthy or brave about perpetuating a degrading stereotype.

I honestly loved the story! I look forward to more stories from you soon!