All Comments on 'Cumming on My Naive Mommy Ch. 01'

Interesting story if you intend to continue don't just skip to sex right away ,prolong this teasing a bit more.

Excellent story, PartTime. Looking forward to more!

Normally I’m not a fan of story’s as short as this one but this is an exception. 5 Stars.

First let me say I am not a writer. With that said, I think it was well done. I would like to read more of what you write.

Wow this is a complete waste of time to read.

For your first story it was good but a little too short. Explore more, tell us more about the mother and how is she, maker ser more sluty and perverted, put her in more humiliating situations. If you want more ideas you can contact me.

Good start. Next time it would be more exciting if the mom only wears her short nighties and string bikini panties under it.

Good start. A couple of grammar mistakes. Just make sure to use a spell checker, step away for a while then read it again. The grammer mistakes will usually jump right out at you.

Looking forward to the next chapter

This story has great potential. I’m not creative and don’t know what to suggest but would love to read more!

Keep going that was hot

I like the concept and don’t be able to do a little character building before you jump into sex. Painting a picture of your characters make the story come alive

Great concept. Chapter was short (2 page chapters min). I agree with the other commentators; prolong the teasing. Can’t wait for chapter 2

I liked it. Maybe part 2 can be ‘not so naive’ moms side of the story?

Yes, more please. Maybe Mom gets off next time? Definitely dont fast forward to sex just yet. Let them both get off without the other knowing yet.

A bit short. Needs a followup.

The length of this story is most appropriate. Young virgins simply cannot go on for pages and pages.

As for Mom, this is likely her first single and she may have been a Virgin at marriage. As such, she would have little to no idea of how a young man works.

Couple of minor errors here or there in this otherwise paramount first effort.

I would have done the same!

A very great deal of disbelief had to he suspended to engage with this story and the sequel. The dialogue needs a fair bit of work and you might want to add more detail to the intracacies of the sexual act to aid realism. Better rationale for why the mother doesn't understand the situation is sexual is required for the story to be believable. Or alternatively, you could add less explanation - just draw the lines and let the reader's imagination colour the gaps. Otherwise a very sexy situation and storyline, just needs more realism.

Thank you for your feedback, I really do appreciate it!

Honestly, these have been my first published stories, and one reason why I haven't continued the story yet is due to embarrasment.

I'm not really proud of my writing style, nor all my errors (English is my third language btw).

I do want to continue the story some where down the line, but I intend to improve my writing before I publish anything further.

Very hot, especially for the reader who might have had a similar experience. My mom liked to engage in aggressive tickling…then one morning I guess I had just reached a certain age and as we were wrestling I caught a glimpse of her black bra…Cum just shot everywhere…mmm….I kept pumping the cum out…She was so sexy..

JT

hot story if you want to write longer ones or with more detail include the build up similar to smut style ex - my cock pressing against her pussy lips rubbing into her lips over her thin panty .....so and so