D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F. Ch. 12

The court docket set the divorce case hearing for mid-May. Jackie is on point. She presents the evidence of Vicky's infidelity. Her lawyer objects saying that the evidence was illegally obtained. Jackie argues that either he should withdraw his objection, or Vicky is going to be called to the stand and have her explain her whereabouts and activities for the dates and times in question, or each of her lovers will be subpoena and asked their whereabouts and activities for the dates and times in question. Her lawyer withdrew the objection, and the "files" were accepted into evidence. The judge having accepted the evidence into the court record had no choice but to enforce the provisions of the pre-nuptial agreement. I was awarded $50,000, and the divorce would be final in 90 days.

The 15^th of August my divorce was granted. The 16^th of August I got down on one knee and propose to my girls. They want matching rings. We visit a custom jewelry maker, and he designs the rings. We decided on a Celtic triad design with a diamond in the middle and our birth stones on the points of the triad. The stone locations are different on each ring. We have the bands engraved, 'With all my love forever'. We can't have a legal ceremony, but we have a friends and family party at our dream house. A good time was had by all. After the last guest parted, I carry my lovely "brides" across the threshold for real one at a time. Our "marriage" is consummated in a variety of combinations and positions until we can consummate no more. God, I love my girls.

My lawyer Jackie is an amazing woman. The way she has it together is amazing. She always looks impeccable, hair, make-up, clothes, and accessories are always first rate. She is intelligent and alarmingly beautiful. She is focused and extremely organized. She is able to compartmentalize subject matter and keep it ready for instant recall when needed. The alienation of affection lawsuits are a prime example of this.

We have already received an asset disclosure from Vicky. The Court required mediation to see if we could come to an agreement and relieve the court docket of cases. I was suing for 1/6 of her assets (leaving the rest for the remaining lawsuits). Essentially 1/6 of her remaining 401K. Her lawyer argued that the lawsuit was frivolous and punitive. Jackie quoted him precedence and then quoted the law to him. She also informed him that this is one of the few states that has alienation of affection laws on the books for just this type of situation. The 1/6 of her assets was going to be the best and final offer or we would use the court's time in November. She agreed to an out of court settlement of $33,300. The agreement was drawn up and I signed it. In August and it was filed with the court. Cha-Ching! Round one.

Jackie Swatter received a declaration of assets from Tom Osborne. It showed that Tom had a fluctuating balance in checking between $100 and $2500. He had about $3000 in a savings account. His 401K was valued at $350,000. He had a few stocks and bonds in a private trading account valued at $5000. The house he resided at was valued at $300,000 which he had about $60,000 in equity. He had a vacation home on a lake about an hour away. It was valued at $180,000 and he had about $80,000 in equity. Jackie did several searches and did not find evidence of offshore accounts or that he had any monies squirreled away.

The Court requires mediation to see if we can come to an agreement and relieve the court docket of cases. I am suing for 1/3 of his assets (leaving the remaining assets to come into play during the divorce and Alice's alienation of affection lawsuit). Essentially the value of his 401K. Tom's lawyer argued that the recent divorce that his client had suffered through, had drastically affected his client's assets. That the asset projection that was submitted need to be revised to reflect current actual assets.

Jackie stood firmly on the 1/3 of assets. If Mr. Osborne was going to cry poor mouth as a result of his own activities, then she was going to request a forensic accountant to review Tom's assets and require proof of his current status. The 1/3 percentage was going to stand as the standard for reparations whatever the number was going to be. This is the best and final offer or we will use the court's time in November.

They agree to the settlement percentage. The forensic accountant found Mr. Osborne to have a net worth of $350,000 after the recently settled divorce. I smiled knowing that Alice had cleaned his clock and was headed for another drink at the Osborne well. Jackie received a certified check for $116,000 in accordance with our out of court settlement agreement. The agreement is drawn up and I sign it. In September it is filed with the court.

The proceedings for the remaining individual alienation of affection lawsuits are similar. The settlement numbers vary slightly from case to case. I receive between $125,000 to $250,000 in each of the remaining settlements. The Shoesmith case is the largest as Carol declined to file for divorce leaving more of a pool of money. By the time the first round of Alienation of Affection lawsuits are completed, I am awarded judgements in the amount of $1.1 million. Cha-Ching! Round 2.

The second level of Alienation of Affection lawsuits involve the local branch of the company. Jackie talks with the group of victims before the mediation meeting. She does not want to divulge the entire case that she is going to lay out in court unless she is positive of a favorable agreement. She is going to request a higher number than we are willing to accept, based on the company's desire to avoid publicity associated with a court case.

She lays out all the communications that her "research team" had uncovered. The HR director knew about the inter office affairs going on. Apparently, there are a couple of "Karens" that were left out of the girls' night out activities. They wrote letters to the Branch HR Director (Ashley Avery) explaining what they had witnessed, and they wanted to report possible violations of company policy. The research team found emails between the HR Director and the Branch Manager (Sam Silver) and the Assistant Branch Manager (Rhonda Sinclair) about a potential violation of company policy. The discovered emails reveal that the investigation found nothing substantial.

Later emails confirm a project proposal by Mark Shoesmith. The emails contain the proposed team members and the goals of the project. When questioned by Jackie, the investigator revealed that she had been previously involved with Robert Gray. Robert had convinced her to squash any findings, or he would disclose their affair to her husband. Text messages between the gang of six further solidified a conspiracy to hide the illicit affairs. Text messages also showed the "project conspiracy" to have sex on company time under the pretext of team meetings.

Jackie Swatter received a declaration of assets from Sam Silver, Ashley Avery, Rhonda Sinclair and Reggie Rawlings. Documents show that on average, the Branch management have fluctuating balances in their checking accounts between $500 and $5500. On average they have 7500 dollars in their savings accounts. Their 401K values vary from $350,000 to $550,000. Some have a few stocks and bonds in private trading accounts with an average value at about $7000. The houses are valued on average of $480,000. The equity value varies from about $60,000 to $125,000.

Sam has a vacation home on a lake about an hour away. It is valued at $2500,000 and he has about $80,000 in equity. Ashley has $100,000 in an off-shore account. Rhonda has four accounts with $40,000 in each under her family's member's names. Reggie buys gold and keeps it in a safety deposit box. The local branch itself is valued at $4 million.

The Court requires mediation between the parties to see if we can come to an agreement and relieve the court docket of cases. In August Jackie and the group of victims meet with the company lawyers and the Branch Management to mediate and try to resolve the issues in an out of court settlement. This is a joint lawsuit suing for $8 million. The company lawyers argue that there is no way a jury will award such an outrageous sum.

Jackie stands her ground and leverages her argument about knowledge from the management team. The conspiracy to whitewash any findings during the so-called investigation. The continued indifference as evidenced by putting the conspirators together on a project together. She also quoted company policy regarding fraternization between employees. Even with all of that, then branch management refused to act on allegations made by other employees.

Jackie let them know in no uncertain terms that this is a fair offer and that if this goes to trial, the jury can render a larger settlement decision. When this goes to trial and all of the evidence and testimony is submitted, any jury with traditional morals will find in favor of her clients and a much larger settlement will likely be awarded. Jackie gives them until January 10^th to settle or we will take this matter to court. Jackie receives a certified letter on January 8^th outlining the agreement to settle for $8 million.

Cha Ching! Round 3.

Jackie Swatter receives a declaration of assets from the corporation in April. The corporation uses the most recent stockholder prospectus as its official company's net worth. The corporate officers receive compensations averaging $2.5 million excluding retirement bonuses and stock options. The board of directors receive about $750,000 per year in salary plus stock options of ~$250,000. The net worth of the company officers and the board of directors is around $28 million. According to the prospectus the value of the company is approximately 4.8 billion dollars. Each of the company officers and each member of the board of directors is named in the lawsuit. This is a joint lawsuit suing for $200 million.

In addition to the information obtained at the branch level, the "investigation team" found emails between the Branch HR director and the Corporate HR director regarding possible violation of corporate policies. Memorandum back and forth as well as text messages explain the allegations, suggests investigation, and outline follow up actions. The text messages are more personal and give more detailed information including names.

A January board meeting agenda item lists 'personnel issues' as a topic of discussion. The board meeting minutes detail the conversations during the board meeting. There are several text messages between board members and company officers giving more in depth details of the policy violations. These messages give details not contained in the cryptic discussions contained in the minutes.

In a mediation meeting in August, the corporate lawyers argue that there is no way a jury will award such an outrageous sum. Jackie stands her ground and leverages her argument about knowledge of the affairs being passed from the branch management team to the corporate level. Jackie explains there is evidence of suspicious activities to whitewash this issue at the corporate level. The corporate lawyers disavowed any knowledge by the corporate officers or the board.

Jackie then questions the board's ability to govern the corporation due to their lack of knowledge about the activities occurring inside their own company. The lack of understanding in and of itself can be grounds for further legal actions. Jackie describes the so-called investigation. The continuing indifference as evidenced by putting the conspirators on a project together. She also quoted company policy regarding fraternization between employees.

She further explains about her research team's findings on the corporate level as well. Jackie let them know in no uncertain terms that this offer is good until February 4^th. This date will allow the board of directors to review and discuss this issue at the next board meeting in January. She reminds them of the large number of corporation haters and that if this goes to trial, a jury can render a larger decision especially after all of the evidence and testimony is submitted. Jackie receives a certified letter on Ground Hog Day outlining the agreement to settle for $200 million. Along with a stipulation that no further legal action will be taken regarding this issue. Cha Ching! Round 4.

I ended up with a little over $18 million because of Vicky being unfaithful. Not to mention two beautiful loving wives along with two beautiful children.

Thank you, Vicky - wherever you are.

The end