All Comments on 'Dad Dies Ch. 03'

Keep this going 5 Stars

Looking forward to the next chapter 5/5

Your stories make me wet......

Your stories get better and better 5 stars

I think you've written a enjoyable light hearted story. Keep on with them.

JD8406, my rating button are not working, but I whole heartedly give this story 4 1/2 stars for one reason, no BABS, Pam and Barry close Asset Manage yet. But I am sure that will be solved in the next part.

A five of course. You have a good story line and interesting character development, and I am interested in reading more. However, your sentence structure and style can be distracting. Some of your sentences have two and three subjects and others are run-on. Occasionally, you have an error in grammar. For example, you will say something like "for Babs and I," when "me" seems to be a better word. A good editor might help considerately, as well as a writing style more like newspaper English. Please keep up the good work. Is this your native tongue?

ES

Hard to read as the dialogue is so stilted.

I'd like to see several more chapters. Barry could be a stud with all the widows. LOL. Babs... who knows,... She could keep herself busy and satisfied. In spite of the stilted language, I have enjoyed the story so far.

Excellent.