All Comments on 'Daddy, It Don't Fit You Must Acquit!'

Will these two ever learn their lesson ? I hope not. With all the references to OJ trial, I was totally imagining Marcia Cross as skanky but somehow sexy cousin Ginny. Vanilla Extract totally parodied the courtroom lingo and apropriated it for his own twisted purposes. Too hot for Saturday Night Live, but so well crafted. Watch your back Seth McFarlane, there's a new and improved 'Family Guy' in town. ****

I meant Marcia Clark ( OJ prosecutor ), not Marcia Cross ( desperate housewife ) . There's gotta be role for the latter actress though. She's a vintage milf prototype..

Ridiculous. Can't believe I read this series

#1 I hate rape stories

#2 there is no court in the world that would allow that crap

The story was stupid, I can't believe I wasted my time reading it.

It's fiction, why some of you are taking it seriously is beyond me. The story was written to entertain and it did unlike most of the other stories here which are basically all the same.

was confused several times as to whether it was the defense or the d.a. asking the questions.

While this is only a story, no court would do this.

Bullshit.

which means that she is not Heather's aunt. go back to the drawing board because this story sucks like a vacuum.

I think this was a very entertaining funny story. The sheer absurdity of what went on in court was hilarious & certainly made me laugh - a lot !

Well done & thank you for a good start to my day.

Of course this wouldn't happen in a real court, that's half the joke! Brilliant writing to make it almost semi-plausible even while I'm laughing at the absurdity of it all.

fiction

noun

1 stories, (creative) writing, (prose) literature; informal lit.

2 fabrication, invention, lies, fibs, untruth, falsehood, fantasy, nonsense.

3 a story that is intended to deceive, a false but thoughtfully constructed story in which some truth is often interwoven

4 a story that sometimes deals with events or situations that are clearly fantastic, impossible, or incredible.

The story is nothing but crap. You had a good idea but you just made crap. You should pull the story and never write again!!!

My first comment ' indicates ', I rated the story at four stars. F--k that, I loved it and rated it at five stars. Just so you know. Thanks for getting the narrator out of the frying pan predickamint' , you left him in at end of last story. Well now it seems he's in the fire but I'm sure you can handle that in sequel, should you accept that assignment.

Thx so much for sharing. There's no one like you, man. Thank God. One is all that can be handled. You Rock so Hard. No prisoners , no quarter asked or given. Your fan - LSD

I laughed, giggled, guffawed and squirmed all the way through this; the dialogue and situations wavered between almost plausible and truly fucking mental all the way through, and I loved every second of it! This is truly farce of the highest order, inspired silliness on par with Sheridan and the restoration comedies, bawdy, brash, and just plain brilliant. I hope you keep writing this series, it's side-splitting, you have a great comedic talent, and perfect comic timing.

there's something on the wing of the plane

I tip My hat to you Sir. Bravo.

I read here. This story is fiction, realize that first, people. It is also a farse and a well created one. It works beautifully because of its illogic setting, the court room!

I give it a 5 for its refreshing imagination!

I can’t ever remember laughing so much at a story, brilliant absolutely brilliant. All normal one minute bat shit crazy the next! Nicely tied up and sealed with a bow. Thanks so much Van, do please keep writing, and to the haters, go down to the hardware store, buy some timber, build a bridge and get over it!

He can't be arrested/charged again so yeah

Subpoena - under penalty

Subpenis - under?

Great pun. GT

It is just too stupid.

... and not just because i had a small part in it! never in a million years could i have dreamed how hilariously over the top you could go and still have the story hang together like it does! like, duh, people, this could never happen in real life, but in the surreal fantasy world of this series, it makes total sense.

the courtroom lingo is perfect, and the puns and the pacing and the outrageous personalities of the lawyers and the ever-more-ridiculous demonstrations that Ginny forces them into, and then the even better revelation that she assumed he would know he was supposed to stay limp -- omg!

i bow and worship before your genius, vanilla extract! this story is a triumph for the ages!!!

The excess of puns, bad jokes, name plays, the name itself, "it don't fit you must acquit!" should have been warning enough that low-brow humor is alive and well on Lit. A great break from the many depressing stories that abound here.

Miranda Wright! I gave it 5 on that name alone!

This is my favorite out of all 3 parts. It gave me some great laughs. I swear my eyes were watering. GREAT ENDING TO THIS STORY!!!

You can't even be mad that he's busted bc that shits funny

Cant wait for the next part.

Make a new part this story is awesome & it gets better each time

A combination that, sadly, I don't see very often. Loved it, and I hope you write more.

First time i saw this i was like wtf then all i could do was get wet as fuck

And fingermyself

Love it. Can't wait for the ass scene.

Absurd and irreverent, it was a fun read! And those people who commented about how this would never happen in court...thry were entertaining, too.

Couldn't help but smile throughout the whole story. I enjoyed it like the rest of your works! Keep it up, looking forward to your future stories!

Ummmmm.... Damn, I've got nothing. Lol.

literally made an account just to say I realized that Lori is from your other stories haha

Brilliant. Simply brilliant. Hilarious and genius, absurd and relentless. Love your dialogue! Love your satire! Keep up the great work!!!

im pretty sure double jeopardy would apply but he would get indecent exposure at the end

This was ridiculously hilarious!!!

Funny, sexy, and overall amazing! Ginny deserved that ass fucking. Only thing I have to say is "Damn Heather.... You Couldn't have waited til you two got home?". Shake my head..

Today I learned I can't maintain an erection while laughing.

Absolutely hysterical. Good job.

Omfg I don't think I've read such a funny smut before. Jfc.

i want more! Hope Heather ends up getting pregnant!

Fuck you dude !!! That ending sucks !!! It's supposed to be a happy ending motherfucker !!!

It made me Speechless, VanillaExtract never disappoint me....

Kudos !!!!!

This kinda made me sick, but the fuck, the funniest smut story I'd ever read. Wtf.

-Isly Dev.

I did not like this series as much as your other ones. The whole thing goes along the guide as. " let me ask you for this, then you rape me without being able to hold back because you have the worst self control in the history of fictional stories."

You're a great writer but this is not your best work in my opinion.

3/10 needs more self control

Have Ginny escape from jail and be on the run but she comes to kill Bradley and Heather out of spite however they outsmart her and they all become willing participants in steamy incestuous fuck.

Good story bro..had a sense of humour too, something that lacks with authors..

Keep up!! but could you write more stories about daddy and daughter doing it behind mommy's back?

Best read for ages.

"Does the defense object?" the judge asked.

"Of course I object!" Miranda declared. "Your honor, I will not subject my witness to the ridicule of examining penises like some kind of sausagefest!"

"Well, if you don't think your witness can identify my client's penis..." Ginny said, waving her hand away.

The Judge wouldn't be asking the defense to object. Miranda, who answered, was the PROSECUTOR. Great story, just fix this.

Keep writing!

Mixed feelings. Mostly because I don't like thinking of someone that I have an attachment to screw another person. And he was hard when Heather's friend sucked him off (if something else happened, then I'm sorry because I couldn't finish reading that scene).

And best ever

This was a good story but to much unbelievable things in it

Not "waved". You got it wrong in the previous story, and I thought "meh", but then you do a courtroom procedural and get it wrong again? Hope to help...

You have no concern for cause and effect. Or logic. And write desire like you've never had sex. Or you simply have no respect for the reader. Personally, I champion you for that, you crazy maverick.

Ultimately, you wrote "halelujah hole". You are a mad genius. I love you. 5 stars just for that. No B.S.

can his cousin, be her Aunt? And why did she have to be such a bitch? To get out of the situation at the very end though, Heather could zip him up quick, and pretend she was looking for something in the back seat... Just let them have their freedom!

"my vocabulary was reduced to obscenities and religious proclamations."

Love your stuff.

...that was different.

You're hilarious. I like you.

I loved this story. I was so happy 😈😼 when he got to r.a.p.e that 🤬 Ginny. I enjoyed the ending. Since a person can’t be tried twice in a court of law for the same thing he can’t get arrested for what they were doing at the end. I wish I could read more stories like this one

Most fucked up shit I ever read!!

I honestly don't know why ppl are so butthurt over this it's FICTION and one of the best I've read on here I think. Love your story and I absolutely could not stop laughing, I hope you never stop writing.

So ridiculous but charming anyway.

Laughed out loud multiple times. A great conclusion to the series, if it is in fact the final entry.

OMG I happily went back and forth between horny/hot one moment and then forgotting about my boner because I was laughing so hard...

"Objection your honor! The prosecution is leading my client's cock into the witness!!!"

too funny.. all of it was too much from 11" cock to videos in school and then he farce of a court room but was up for a jury recently and it was an older man with a young girlfriend and when the woman refused to move out the man got to date nther woman so the first one said he touched her daughter and the lawyer for the State did NOT want Any older men on the jury

good thing you can’t be tried for the same crime twice

😂I’m sorry but what kind of court is this

I loved it when the lawyer got it in the ass. Poetic"justice".

Yo imma need another part lol

Oh man i love how it happened

Absolutely hilarious!

Ughhh couldn’t he just wait till he got home. Did he not learn his lesson the first time.

On one hand quite amusing and only in the most ideal world would courts work properly like this instead of disgusting extremely conservative ways

On the other hand this chapter is painfully cringe

The courtroom part of the story was too funny. didn’t see that coming.

The ending was a great disappointment .. they deserve to have a happy life together and I hope that they did .. love is a rare and precious thing and he will learn that gentle is better 🤗 😘

Good story except the last episode, the last episode, the trial, was bullshit.

Could have been a very good story except for most of the court room

antics. That blew the story up . Then the way his lawyer/ cousin acted

acted in the end along with getting caught by the police again.

"Are you sure about that cock!" Ginny shouted.

Lol, you pulled a My Cousin Vinny!

Loved all the court movie references!!!! 2nd funniest I have read on here😂😂😂😂😂

I can just imagine the officer's thoughts

"can't believe this, just about managed a not guilty verdict and he's tempting fate again. better get these 2 back home before they have an accident"

A reprehensible but hilarious tale. It's so wrong, :) *****

Bloody funny. Good series

This probably is more fitting in Humor & Satire