Damaged Beyond Repair?

Linda slowly started to have an inkling of the impact Bart had while working for H.A.T. and became curious how Pedro fit in. It was obvious that they knew each other well.

Because Spain is a 'Schengen' country Linda didn't have to pass the Spanish customs and, in a few moments, she stepped in the back of a car with Pedro and her two sons. When they drove from the airport Linda asked a bit panicky, "Where's Bart?"

Pedro heard the anxiety and replied smiling, "Don't worry, he took the motorcycle he has here because he was afraid that our car was too small for five people. And as usual he was right. Those two giants of you hardly fit, let alone three of them and your luggage."

Bart on a motorcycle. Any more surprises and I'll scream. Linda thought.

After a forty-minute drive they arrived, finding Bart already there. Pedro and Bart took Linda to a small guesthouse the men built over time to give Bart a pied de terre in Spain. Two bedrooms with a living room in between and a bathroom and kitchen at the back. A door in the kitchen gave way to a terrace with potted plants under a sunscreen.

Bart said, "I hope you don't mind putting up with me. I will respect your privacy as much as possible. The boys are at the big house and if you rather want to sleep there that's possible after they are going home."

The words hit Linda so hard that it felt as if she was slapped. She had another insight into how hard her actions had been on Bart. He still acted exceedingly formal and was very careful in his approach towards her, even though she had told him she regretted so much that she threw him away. She even named her second born after him. It should tell him something, shouldn't it?"

Carefully she worded her answer, "Bart, every moment with you is a gift for me. I made a terrible mistake in divorcing you and I regret it every day, even when that decision resulted in Marc and Bart."

When she answered she scrutinized Bart and she thought she saw a flickering in his face but couldn't read what it was. Anger, pain or even regret too?

"Let me show you your room and the facilities." Bart finally said.

=====

Saying goodbye to the two young men was bittersweet. All three of them had a very good time. They promised Bart to do the research on the engine but wanted to be part of the restoration, or replacement.

In a private get-together with their mother, they confessed that in the past fourteen days they learned more from Bart than in their whole life from their father. They could talk about almost everything and tell him what was bothering them without Bart being judgmental. He also was honest in his answers and sometimes said that it was too private or that he didn't know.

Marc also told her about his feelings for Laetitia, that those feelings were mutual and that he was looking for a solution.

Finally, the fully loaded Antonov screamed down the runway and slowly took flight leaving Linda as well as Bart behind with two empty places in their souls.

With a lump in his throat Bart said to Linda, "You really did a fantastic job with those two boys. This last fortnight with them was among the best I ever had.

Linda stepped closer, wrapped her arm around Bart and replied, "Funny, the boys said something to the same effect about you."

After a companionable silence in which Linda reveled in the closeness of Bart and the feeling of his body against hers, she asked, "Can I invite you and the family Moreno for dinner?"

"I think so, but you have to ask them."

"I will. Do you happen to know a nice restaurant?"

The dinner was at a very small restaurant. It was the living room from a family house. The meal was fantastic. You couldn't order and just had to go along with what was served.

Maria, always the astute observer, noticed the careful and slow treading of Linda around Bart. It was almost as if she was afraid of him. She decided to have a heart-to-heart with Linda tomorrow when he was practicing his song for the baptizing of her brother-in-law's grandson.

The next morning,

found the two women sitting in the morning sun at the back of the big house. They were talking about the children in particular Marc and Bart when Maria heard Bart strumming his guitar, tuning it. That was the signal for Maria to become deadly serious.

Linda heard it as well and asked, "Who is that? I thought everyone had gone off to work or school."

"It's Bart. He wrote a song for the grandson of Pedro's brother's baptizing Sunday."

They enjoyed Bart's play for a moment and Maria took a deep breath.

"Now I'm sure we're not going to be disturbed, you and I need to have a serious conversation about Bart."

Suddenly, Linda had her guard up and that didn't go unnoticed by Maria who quickly said, "I only like to know a few things. You must have noticed that Bart is very precious to us. We, specially myself, don't want to see him hurt again.

"Mind you, if I hadn't already been engaged to Pedro, I would have done my utmost to become the next Mrs. Verbeke and I'm sure that his life would have been much brighter."

Linda stammered, "But, I don't want to see Bart hurt either, what makes you think that?"

"I've seen you looking at him. You want him and I wonder why? You're the one who divorced him in the first place."

Linda let her head hang down. With her eyes downcast this she said, "Yes, and I was the most stupid idiot of this hemisphere at the time. What did Bart tell you?"

"Nothing, except that he was divorced and that he walked away. That, and because I got to know Bart very well over the years made me conclude that you divorced him instead of the other way around. Bart is as loyal as they come. What happened?"

Both women listened to the rich tones of the twelve-string guitar coming from the guest house for a moment. Maria patiently waited for Linda's answer.

Linda had yesterday learned enough about this woman that she knew that either she told her that it was none of her business, or the absolute truth. Anything in between, or a lie was out of the question. It would be spotted immediately and every chance for getting closer to Bart was out of the window.

After a deep breath Linda said, "You are right. I'm the one to blame even though Bart told me that he would disappear and refuse to have contact with me when he heard that I was looking for him."

And again, as she did with Martin and Carlos, she laid her past and soul bare.

When done she asked Maria, "You are very protective of Bart and I noticed that everybody is very fond of him, grateful even. Why is that?"

"That's quite a story and it started just after his divorce from you. The time he came to work here at the airport."

The operation H.A.T had here was in shambles, people were not motivated and were careless, leading to a lot of complaints from the factory H.A.T. had its contract with.

"Bart immediately started to reorganize the operation. He also interviewed the employees who worked here for the company and some of them mentioned their meager salaries.

"So, he checked the contracts and asked an accountant to check the books and found out that the resident station manager was corrupt and pocketed all overtime from all employees. Those who complained became jobless very quickly and jobs were very, very difficult to come by in those days, you know.

"Bart went to the police.

"Initially they wanted to have nothing to do with it until Bart threatened to withdraw H.A.T from ZAZ Airport. It was a bit of a bluff, but it worked. As a result, the man had to sell everything he owned in order to compensate the employees for their overtime. For Pedro that was 20 hours a week, fifty weeks a year, for three years. Suddenly Pedro and I could afford to marry, and we could start with the construction of this house.

"At that same time Pedro and Bart became friends because Bart wanted to learn Spanish and Pedro took it upon him to teach him the basics. That Bart wanted to learn our language was a first too. Nobody ever bothered to do so.

"When we had our first quotes from the builders, we needed additional funds, or we'd have to delay building. Bart, as a friend, came to the rescue and loaned us the money. He didn't even talk about how we had to pay it back. There wasn't even a contract. In your own time he only said.

That's when I made the mistake to introduce Bart to a cousin of mine. It was beside you the second relationship he entered, and it seemed that he was happy again wasn't it that she proved a first-rate gold-digger who tried everything to help herself to Bart's possessions. Even a false report of assault which had Bart in jail for a week.

When he came out, he was like an automaton. He worked, ate and slept. He refused to participate in social meetings, and it took Pedro and myself half a year to get him partly out of his funk. Only when Titia was born and we asked him to be her godfather did he finally rise out of his tomb and became humanlike again.

"As you have witnessed, Bart is wonderful with children. They confide things to him they won't tell us, and he never broke that trust. When he deemed it necessary, he only gave some vague directions to the parents as to where to look, or what to ask."

Maria walked to the kitchen, got herself a big glass of ice-cold lemonade and brought it over to the guest house.

When she came back, she said, "Just to ensure that he is still busy for a while. There are two reasons for which I wanted to talk to you. First was Bart and we're not finished yet but the other one is my daughter."

Linda looked confused at Maria. She didn't expect this turn in the conversation and asked, "Laetitia, what about her?"

If I read the signs right, I met my future son-in-law a few days ago, arriving together with Bart."

Linda was shocked and Maria enjoyed it to no end. "What makes you say that?"

Maria sighed and started to explain, "Titia was a tomboy. A very difficult, wild and willful child to raise. The only one who got through to her was Bart. She had and still has a lot of boys sniffing around her and that worried us tremendously until Bart told us that she was a one-man-woman and if she found the right one, he wouldn't stand a chance of walking away.

"Yesterday two things happened. Bart told me that the fires were lit and shortly after Titia came and asked if I would go to the doctor with her because she wanted to start with the pill. It's all about Marc, by the way.

So, we need to get along with each other, if only for the sake of our children."

Except for the guitar play, silence once more descended until Maria gently asked Linda, "What do you want from Bart, or better, what would you like?"

Linda was shocked once too many times. The last week was extremely emotional for her. Her ex-husband forced himself into her house, the abrupt and unconventional flight to Zaragoza with hardly any clothes and toiletries. The reunion with her boys and the welcome into the family Moreno who are very protective of Bart. Living in one house with Bart and now this conversation and the revelation that her son might be in love with this gorgeous Spanish girl.

She started to sob. Maria took her in her arms trying to console her.

Linda sobbed, "If I only had a chance to be friends with him, I would be a very happy woman. Even when I was so stupid, I never ceased loving him and now it's too late. He acts so distantly. Not cold, but formal and friendly and I don't know how to reach him."

"I'm convinced that you mean well. Give it time girl. I'll talk with him."

Linda's head shot up, fear in her eyes. Maria quickly said, "Without revealing what we talked about, or even that we talked, of course."

That evening Laetitia and Alonzo invited Linda for a walk, Maria saw an opportunity and went to visit Bart.

When Linda came back from a very pleasant walk, she noticed the tension hanging around both houses. Pedro looked very angry, Maria's eyes red rimmed and she was unusually silent. Bart was nowhere to be found.

The next morning Bart showed up in a car, parked it next to his RV and without a word, or even a glance climbed into the big machine.

A few minutes later he came out with a backpack, a bag that looked as if it had a tent in it and some other utilities. He dumped it all into the boot of the rental. His movements were kind of jerky as if he needed all his control not to throw with his things.

Before he could walk around the car Linda was on him and asked, "What are you doing? Are you leaving?"

"Yes!" Bart growled, anger and restraint very obvious in his voice. "At least for a few days. It seems that I'm going to have to make some difficult decisions."

The controlled anger in Bart's voice shocked Linda. From the corners of her eyes, she noticed Pedro looking very apprehensive at Bart.

Bart walked with large strides into the guesthouse and came a few seconds later back again holding his guitar case and a compact laptop.

Before he could step into the car Pedro stopped him and softly talked in staccato Spanish to Bart.

Bart furiously shook his head and replied in the same manner. It went on for a few minutes and Pedro embraced Bart, kissed him on his cheeks and said in English, "No calling. We'll leave you alone for two nights. If we don't hear a sign of life in the evening, the day after tomorrow, I'll come and find you. Comprendido!"

"Si." Was the only reply from Bart and he got in the car and disappeared.

"Do you know why Bart is so angry? What has happened?" She anxiously asked Pedro.

"Maria overstepped her boundaries, big-time and Bart took it badly."

"And what happens now?"

Pedro sighed. It sounded like the air rushing through a cave. He replied, "I convinced him to keep his absence short. Until Saturday. He has made promises for Sunday.

"Luck has it that Bart always keeps his promises, so we have the rest of the Sunday to change his mind. He is very strong-willed where it concerns his privacy. And he had precious little of that the last few weeks. We realize that it was by his own doing, but Maria had to take it into account when she started to interfere with it, but she didn't"

That moment Maria came out and looked bewildered around. "He left without saying goodbye?"

Linda answered, "He didn't even say goodbye to me, he just walked past me. Bart only talked briefly with Pedro before he drove off."

Maria sagged on the bank next to the door. Pedro walked over, gesturing to Linda to follow him. He knelt before her and said, in English, but he took his guitar and his little laptop. And he promised to be back Saturday evening. "

Maria sighed with relief. "Maybe I have a chance to apologize and make amends."

Pedro looked at his wife, seeing her remorse and took a deep breath. "Yes, you must, and you must learn NOT to meddle so much in his life. When will you ever learn that you can't manipulate him just as you see fit."

Maria wasn't used to Pedro reproaching her. He mostly kept in the background and seldom remanded her in company of others. It hurt her no end.

Maria looked with bloodshot and red rimmed eyes at Linda. "I wanted Bart to come out of his shell and my approach was all wrong. I pushed too hard and he flared. I got angry and in the ensuing row I said some hurtful things. After that he reminded me of what happened by introducing him to my cousin and what that brought him.

"I lost it and said even more unforgivable things." She wailed, "I'm so sorry! That man brought us nothing but good things and only asked for a little house at the back of the garden. A little place he could rent when he was in Spain."

She collapsed in the arms of her husband who didn't keep it dry too. Linda also had tears in her eyes. Thought of something and said, " But it's all my fault. If we hadn't talked with each other, you never had this terrible row with Bart."

"No dear." Was the swift reply from Maria, "I already wanted to have that talk with him. Especially now Marc and Titia show more than warm feelings for each other. Bart is a man who needs to be married. He needs a woman who takes care of him and whom he can take care of. That's what I told him."

She's right. Linda thought. She is spot on and if I hadn't been so stupid, entitled and impressionable I would have been that woman and this row would never have happened. Forgetting that if that was so Maria probably would never have met Bart and Marc never Laetitia. Worse, she wouldn't have had her two beautiful boys.

=====

Bart was underway to his second most favorite spot in Spain, second only to his little house. It was a camping site in the vicinity of Bezas. Nothing more than a little meadow with the basic facilities next to a nature preserve. It just had the most stunning views of the mountains and a lake. Even this time of the year it would be peaceful and quiet.

After a four-hour drive, the obligatory drink with the camping owner, he pitched his tent under an old and gnarled tree. The weather forecast had told him that he was going to need the shadow.

When done he filled his canteen, donned his hat and went for a walk, hoping that he could buy something to eat underway. In his anger and hurry to get away he forgot all about that.

After two hours of randomly following goats' paths, he had to look at his phone to navigate back to his tent. Google Maps was useless here, he knew from previous visits. So last year he bought himself an app which featured topographical and routable maps like the navigation systems in a car but especially for hikers and bikers and downloaded among others the maps of this part of Spain.

On his way back he passed through a village sporting a small supermarket and bought himself some fruit and vegetables. He reckoned that he could buy some chicken meat from the camping owner.

The last kilometers were less demanding on his concentration as he navigated the less rocky and uneven paths.

Now, in his tired and almost empty mind the words of a poem started to form after a strophe from a song by Leonard Cohen. I stepped into an avalanche and it covered up my soul popped up in his head. Since, the words were singing around and around in his head until the first makings of a poem started to bubble up between them.

Soon more words appeared, and his mind started to play around with them. When he arrived back at his tent, he had a general idea of the direction the poem wanted to take, and he knew that he was in for some hard mental labor before this idea was worked into something decent.

Late that evening the battery of his laptop gave out and needed to be recharged. With a sigh he closed it. From the car he fished out a power bank to recharge it. He hooked up the power bank with his foldable solar panel so that it would start recharging the power bank as soon as the sun was up. Camping with a car as a suitcase. How convenient. I forgot to take provisions with me, but I took the electronics. Tell me something about my priorities yesterday. he thought to himself when he made ready for the night.

Sleep eluded Bart. Words and sentences kept on churning in his mind.

Finally, at 4 AM. he gave himself over to the words, turned to his back, folded his hands together on his stomach and started to work with them.

At seven he checked whether his laptop held enough juice to function. It did and though tired Bart happily hit the keyboard.

One and a half hours later he had typed what was a pretty good image of what was in his mind. He saved it and opened another document and copied the text into it for editing purposes.

He bought breakfast from the proprietor who didn't mind earning some extra money and told him with a crooked smile on his face that his wife was a good cook.

Bart laughed out loud and said that if she could provide a lunch to go and dinner for today, he would be much obliged. The total of €25 for three meals was a very small price to pay for this service and it saved him a lot of time he now could spend on his poem.