Damian Ch. 05: A BRIDGE TOO FAR?

"And remember, you don't need 'impact play' to execute a dom-sub relationship. Think about your own submissiveness before Thursday night... except for playful spanks, there was no impact play at all. But it was erotic... am I right?"

I nod, slowly, reflecting.

"I want to you experience healthy BDSM. You're too frail to take the risk of dealing with an amateur. Or a real sadist."

I'm intrigued, but we have to move on so I give a two-minute recap of our weekend and tell her the fish story which she loved. Then I summarize the talk with Cassie.

"Good job!" (Why did I expect her to say 'good boy!'?) "I'm really happy about how you handled your side. With all your repressed anger and feelings... that could've gone in flames real fast. And after all that... how did you feel?"

"Mind-blown. Vindicated. Peaceful. Hopeful... but still fighting down... angry, violated, confused, hurt. But, y'know, it is a good first step. I'm glad we talked. She actually offered to help me in my recovery however she could. That was nice. Maybe the North Vietnamese should apologize to all the vets... they might feel better too."

"Okay... awkward question. Does she know it's me treating you. This isn't a huge town and people know people..."

"Uh, yeah, she does. And she knows about Tara too... she put two and two together about what was happening there."

"Oh."

"But really... she said great things about both of you. She said I was lucky to have gotten you and I told her just how lucky I was. She'll keep it very professional."

Then I get sheepish. It's confession time. I've been bothered by this and it's time I faced it. "Um. At the custody hearing, I did blow it and say that you... my therapist... might've thought that there was something about what Lily did that Cass might actually have liked. I felt bad about saying that in reflection because it might've made her feel judged by you without context. But now she's also challenging herself along the same line. She won't hold anything against you. At least... the old Cassie wouldn't. And I think professional Cassie is still old Cassie."

She smiles "you're a very fair and compassionate and thoughtful man. I will take you on that advice."

"OK, great. Thanks. So! She wants me to meet Cynthia." I hear the drum beat representing the way I plopped that on the table.

"Oh, really? How do you feel about that?"

"I don't know. She says Cynthia was a... co-conspirator... in my humiliation. She also hated me then, but that she's come around, like Cass, to understand more of the whole picture. Cass says she's now bi... and that means she's fucking Cynthia too. I couldn't bring myself to ask who all else is in her life. It hurts too much. But she says she loves her already. And that's so hard... me, I can barely talk to anyone else... and she's completely moved on." I laugh "having a bi wife is many men's wet dream... but I'm not built like that. I don't share well."

Anne nods. "Are you going to meet her?"

"I don't know... maybe, but I still have so many questions. I don't understand their relationship. I don't 'get' what Lily is to Cassie now. I don't know who else she's fucking. I'm afraid that once I put my toe in that water, that it's going to turn out to be acid and I'll be sucked in again."

She nods "one thing at a time, Mr. Hayes. Rome wasn't built in a day. You're going to meet Tara tonight for your boundary discussion. You have the boys Tuesday and Wednesday, right? And then you can meet Tara Thursday, Friday or over the weekend. Whenever you say. As a submissive, she doesn't dictate the place or time. But please be respectful of working hours Thursday and Friday... she does have a day job to tend to." I realize I didn't even know that... I don't know much about this girl...

"Question. How... how many clients does she have right now?" I blurt it out, because it's really bothered me... not just the sharing thing, but also thinking about going down on her and that I might be eating someone's stale sloppy seconds.

"One, Damian. She takes you one at a time."

That's a relief.

--

NEXT: It's time for Damian to take the lead and be the dominant that he is, but he has to learn to do it right. He has two great women to help him. or maybe three if you look at it like that...