All Comments on '"Dan McNair and Miss Right"'

She was like a dog chasing cars, she didn't know what to do once she caught them.

I don't understand how thow does particular author consistently writes unbelievably stupid stories filled with unbelievably stupid clothes men.

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If you go back and read the beginning of this story you will see that Emily is this beautiful SEXY HOT gorgeous highly intelligent sophisticated popular girl in high school who is obviously consumed with status as well as her education. The main character is Is mental 0 who drives trucks and hauls garbage for a living..

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WHY WOULD SHE NOT CHEAT?

I try to give a person what they like so here's a 5.

That was a great story and I'm glad it had a happy ending for the protagonist.

Dan might've started out blindly in love with his highschool crush, but I think the best part of the story was him wising up after the divorce. He didn't trust Emily enough to give her another chance to break his heart and was proven right to be wary.

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Emily was a classic alpha widow, never getting over the bad boy who broke her heart. She settled for Dan after Gary dumped her, but it's painfully obvious that she never really loved him. Cheating on her husband with Gary was a terrible betrayal, but it was nice to see Karma line up some nasty payback for her.

A quick and enjoyable read. I liked the twist ending very much. I was so afraid he was going to take his first wife back. I am so glad he did not.

I am glad I stuck through to the end. It was a nice twist and a great ending.

Okay story, more like a book report or something. No real emotion, except, strangely, the whole story had a sad taste to it, even the "happy" ending. BTW, it's "ne'er-do-well". And you need the hyphens. Thanks.

Nice twist at the end!

5

Don't get me wrong, I'm glad to have at least one story to break up the deluge of cuck nonsense that's infested the week so far. But this might be one of the most pointless and uninteresting stories I've read this entire year. Just...why?

very good. 5⭐ but a bit short.

an old unfinished love, a surrogate marriage, a divorce without revenge, and the life that goes on.

A very simple story but very real and very believable.

However, apart from jealousy, I didn't understand the "high school whore" to define Emily.

Thanks for sharing your talent.

Nicely done. Just a nice life story. You have over 2000 followers on 180 stories so you don't need my comments. Keep 'em coming.

I just knew it’d be ‘Little Orphan Annnie’! She reminds me of Jeannie from’Caden’s Tale’ and some other Carvohi/JC heroines. Caden is high on my list of Carvohi and Literotica all time faves.

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‘Dan and Orphan Annie’ is a sweet ‘happy ever after’ and a delightful surprise to find posted this morning. Thanks very much.

Nice romantic story. I am glad it all went well with MC.

I enjoyed the realistic response made to the so called repentant ex wife. A leopard cannot change it's spots. In answer to Carvohi's comment I don't need to be anonymous however I am not a joiner so I cannot sign in. How about English Male Antique for a pseudonym

Great story, it is always refreshing to read one of your submissions. Looking forward to more. Thanks..

Better than anything on here lately but it lacked emotion. It felt more like a drawn out exposition than a complete tale.

I like the sense of humor in your writing. So you married the school whore. Hilarious! Great job.

Only gave a 5 because you said you really like them.

I have to get my laughs somehow.

Cheers

I like a story about a regular guy who just wants to have a family and a decent job and place to live. It's difficult to get those things. Gotta find a woman who also wants that. D

Great story by a great Lit author. Everybody enjoys a happy ending.

With all the nonsense they post on this genre this story was a welcome relief.

I gave you a 5!!!

Good story. I enjoy stories with a husband who keeps focused and acts intelligently, as opposed to all the stories about husbands who become basket cases and run away upon discovery of adultery.

"You got them for him?" - She actually wore the pajamas she bought for her lover for the big confrontation with her husband?!

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"I started to fall in love with you." - She STARTED falling in love with him AFTER they got married?

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I was hoping he wouldn't take her back, but thought that she'd end up with neither of them. In any case, if her "first love" came back, and she decided she wanted him, she should have simply divorced, not cheated.

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Does the ATF wear uniforms?

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@franceman, yes, I admit I skimmed the back story, but she was the "high school whore?"

Very good. I’ve always liked your stories. And for me the dialogue and length were perfect. Thank you. *****

Always happy...

...to see a Carvohi story, and it was another great one. I was so worried he'd take Emily back. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

He finds out his slut wife is cheating on him... and does nothing! He doesn't even call her a cheating slut, just lets her dictate the breakup. I mean, this guy would have to be one of the most stupid guys to walk the planet. If he had a crush on her in High School he would have discovered she had been the High School bike. People talk.

Then, a years later after his divorce when she appears at his door, he doesn't just say "What the hell are you doing here, slut?" She made her bed so now she gets to sleep in it. But he wanted to be the "nice" beta male.

I mean, how ridiculous could he be. Oh, how could he play Varsity Soccer when he was only in High School? Varsity = University/College.

What a fun read. 5s

I’ve read all your stuff and like your style. As a former technical writer, I value brevity and clarity. You entertain the reader with punch. Irony and sarcasm are there just under the surface. I have no criticism. Just submit more stories. Thanks.

Been a while since I saw a decent LOA post.

Sweet!

so many people in these stories get married so quickly.

You like 5*’s? Well, I like reading 5* stories and showing my appreciation! Thank you, Sir.

Would love to know if the high school whore ever escaped the cellar! And if she did, how she handled knocking on Dan's door to be run over by his brood.

Different and well done! 5

Short and sweet I liked it a five in fact.

Decent. But….

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He was really a bit of of dumbshit. Not sure why the redhead (whose name we never got!) wanted him. He didn’t know he married the school bike???

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As to Emily….even dumber.

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Just not enough interesting stuff here. This is a poster child for a “3” score.

Harry in Virginia! Thanks for the comment. It's important that you be true to yourself.

I mean it, I really value your remarks.

carvohi

Good story, thanks.

2* for another tale of a wimpy, cucky, obtuse, cowardly guy who cries more than a baby. LW is in critical need of authors who are real men. Saddletramp write more please!

Kind of felt the skinny redhead would make another appearance, which was a plus. The High school whore slant was not a good addition to the story, having her return to the south of France would have been okay. Good story

Thanks for reading. Hope you enjoyed it. Vote if you're inclined. I really like fives. OK, so I gave you a five.

Cute story 5 ****

I appreciate your stories, a lot. One of the few authors on this side, worth to be here.

I gave you four stars. I liked this one and I loved some others you wrote.

Cheers & I’ll stay tuned for more

Captcha

always enjoy your work. a nice, quick read. more please

HarryinVA, what is a 'clothes man'?

Damn good story. Every young single should read this.

Story of the day! So much garbage on LW these days. Nice when one of the greats posts something new. Thanks

I was enjoying the story until the end. Up until then, it was very sweet, then Emily gets locked up in a cellar and it turns out she was the high school whore. That soured me on the story as a whole.

Sebastian

An average story in every possible way. I expect much, much better from this writer and I'm badly disappointed with this submission.

You're too good to lose form this sight, Carvohi. I wish the other good writers would come back.

Where did all the trite come from, and why does Loving Wives heads tolerate them?

5*****!!!!!

Gave a five just to offset some of the other scores.

Love is a tool that grows like a flower. It has to be watered. Cared for by both on equal terms. Both have to be dedicated in giving 100%. And that means not always agreeing. But complimising. Communication with honestly is the key. It never works out when one person loves more than the other.

Great story.

Thank you. 5***** That was fun. There are two lines that always get me in these stories. They are "You don't understand." and "You hate me, don't you?" This story only had 1, but that's enough. Yes, he did understand, he just learned too late. Oh, and there's always "It's just sex." Thank you for sparing us all that line. It's never just sex to the person who is cheated on.

Well, only one medium grinch, plus some minor editing issues!

Why wasn’t Sweetie2 leaving a salad behind at the diner when she mirrored his past? Perhaps because salads don’t get cold(er) {& yucky(er)} when you leave them for awhile?

5* Ask and ye shall receive.

Bravo! Great story. I smiled throughout. -5+-

You asked, so I gave you 5.

The story deserves it.

Ok, but expected more, not your usual quality

If Emily were indeed the high school whore everyone, including our hero, would have known it. The story didn't really fit together well, but I gave it a 4* rating because it was short, to the point and easy reading. Keep on trucking!

I guess he didn't know right from wrong. Five stars

Got me with the ending. Something was happening; I just didn't figure on the redhead. An easy 5* from me.

Didn't seem like a story written by Carvohi. Way too short for the wordy guy. Formulaic and pedantic. Happy ending though.

Good shorty!

Another classic adventure from central PA! I thought the plot line for Gary was a little rushed, but then you squeezed a lot of life lessons for us to watch out for in real life in the rest of the story. I can relate several "true" stories in my life about the ugly duckling turns into a swan. When the woman in the diner was identified as a red head, knew how that would end. Good stuff! 5* (I echo Anon's comment that this genre has been "cluttered" by low-midlin stories of late.)

Why are all males always simps or doormat in story’s?

Good read. Well written, of course. I was afraid he was going to fall for the ex’s bullshit, but you gave him a brain. Actually when I read her reasons for wanting him back, it sounded like she was saying, “when we were together you always kissed my ass and I could abuse you, and our marriage, anyway I wanted. Gee I really miss that!

So glad he didn't get back with his first. Happiness comes to those who are patient and won't settle.

Why did he have to give the whore part of his business in perpetuity? He started it before he met her, made less than her when you factor in things like union benefits and public sector insurance plans

Liked the Main Character, and the red-headed twist at the end was great. Couldn't give it a 5-star, because of a some minor nitpicks: As someone has already pointed out, if Emily were the School Whore, MC would have gotten at least hints. Army Reserve units went to the sandbox. ATF agents are mostly nerds - accountants tracking serial numbers and tax statements or lab-tech-types looking for chemical residues. Bad Guy sounds more like a ICE agent.

Definitely worth 4 stars at least.

You almost had me worried there, glad to see a good ending.

lol u guys need to look up that word epilogue. that read weird for ur work. too many what ifs here u left it way too open. too many holes. then u wrote and epilogue that wasnt an epilogue just a continue of the story. it was writen better than some flowed easily. needed a little more suspense in the middle there with the cheating. draw out some emotion

Excellent

A little predictable, but a tremendous tale. I was hoping Emily would be the waitress, but oh well. A happily ever after. Wonderful.

Five Stars

What is there to say other than "Yet another wonderfully readable study of people by Car, the master."

Many thanks. 5* (of course)

Ok, so that's 3 stories out of 30 in the last few days that are worth a read and this definitely was. Thank you Carvohl for a great tale.

Not bad a good story and probably good advice never marry a cheerleader. Thanks for the story.

A good story. Thank you.

Good realistic story. Thanks

Excellent story, like always. Didn't know Emily was the high school whore, but she very well proved it by f-cking Gary. He did right getting his other tutor and now they have 3 kids. Suffice it to say, the nerd alright and is probably happier than the school whore!

A good meat and potatoes meal is quite satisfying. Solid, filling, not overly fancy, nothing unusual but well prepared and tasty. 5*

Well, well, well!!!

At last a story of yours l really like!

Good character development, well written and a happy ending to boot.

You almost had me sorry for Emily, she got hers in more ways than one. LOL!!!

Scores a well earned 5/5 thx for the good story.

No great shakes but I love it anyway. *****

So why did the cheater go back to a abusive relationship and gets locked into the basement. A educated women who knows better stays in that.?.. at least you put him back with his tutor. But this is so convenient for you to put into your finish, a fantasy ending. Poorly done.

Good story.

Great story and while I'm leaving this as anonymous because my account for screwed up and I haven't fixed it yet I went by CaOldGuy and I am definitely giving you a 5 for an excellent story!

Great story - fun read 5*****

I found no problem reading your story and enjoyed it very much. You seem to understand our culture better than I would have thought a non-native English speaker would.

pacing was bad, and the whole story was cluttered. Felt like a bad movie that plays on hallmark. Guy is a pushover and deserved all he got from the whore. He doesn't need to be alpha male bad ass but guys with no self respect like him are a joke.

Loved it,

JennyBear

Kind of cute, I guess. But I don't understand why some writers have so much to tell us about so little. Why is it important that we know what kind of cake he bought, when he bought it, how he served it, or any other specific but pointless details? Its really weird, like when someone is trying to make conversation but has nothing of interest or importance to say, but for some reason thinks they just have to keep talking.

Maybe, someday, you might want to explore how a man can be so tuned out, disconnected, unaware, that his wife can be a cheating scheming unfaithful whore, and he just lets it fester and play out, waiting to see if she's going to gut him, skin him, or just dump him in the trash. Like a cow in the slaughter chute, waiting for the pick axe to the forehead. That would be more interesting than how many trucks he bought, or how he financed them.

But you keep doing it your way. What have you got to lose?

Thanks for the effort.

Excellent story a solid five star effort. A very enjoyable read thanks for sharing.

If you were trying to make a drama out of a crisis it didn’t work. It must have been hard to write as it sure was hard to read, still 3 * for effort.

Thanks for the story

It’s nice to read the good guys winning once in a while

Great story...well written. 5 * Thanx!

Loklie

boooring

You say you like fives well I have liked all of your stories and I also liked this one a lot so FIVE***** is what you get. Thank You for the entertainment.

Excellent!!!! Emily is typical of what some women are and probably always have been. You were spot-on showing us her character flaws; she mentioned two or three times that MC "always let me have my way". And, since she was the class bicycle, it's no wonder Gary didn't trust her! Hmmmm... Gary Larson. I liked him better when he drew his 'Far Side' cartoons!

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Great story. Well-written, finely-paced. Your writers narration 'voice' is superb! Figure out a way to bottle that! Yes, the backstory was a bit too long, but I zipped right through it.

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As always.... 5++++/5!!! Thanks! Keep writin'!

Very satisfying.

I enjoyed Emily choosing to go back to her school boy friend even though she knew what was going to happen, and knew that life was going to be difficult for her. It was great that Dan had enough sense to see what was going to happen if he and Emily got back together. He picked wisely that there would not be a fairy tale ending with Emily. So two very unexpected outcomes but a happy ending for Dan. A very enjoyable and satisfying story, with just totally ordinary happenings with ordinary people.

seems about what really happens

Good one

Carvohi, keep writing! You never disappoint. Thank you!

It gave me pleasure to read a new story by Carvohi.

Common plot very well written and entertaining 👏❗The dialog and constant action makes the story finish quickly.

Gave you 4⭐'s....

So one question remains. What did you do with the other three pages???

The subplots, extraneous dialog, superfluous characters❓🙂😁😄😃 I'm still

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AMerryman

Not over the top but decent you've always a good writing style. Thanks

Great story and loved the pace! 5*