All Comments on 'Dan's Conditioning Ch. 02'

Liked this chapter. Love where this is going.

Just two constructive comments. Please proofread your stories before posting. You kept going back an forth, calling her Miss Natasha and Miss Kendra during the bondage session, when it was Miss Natasha the whole time. And speaking of “whole”, whole means entire. Hole means an opening, as in a pussy or ass. You misused used “whole” several times in the story, when you meant to use “hole”.

Looking forward to the next chapter with the foreshadowing comments you had in this one.

Worth the wait...I give it a 5!

Love where this is heading

Summer job from heaven/hell!

Lame.

loving it so far it just needs more pics the ones that are in there are fantastic but definitely need a few more keep up the great work

Great story. Nearly lasted until the end. So I guess I must try harder.

I would be interested in what the whore will do after being reported to prison.

Two pics at the end of the story. WTF?

I must say that I thought that this story line was going to be a good one with Dan becoming a nice sex toy for Kendra. Well, this chapter totally changed all of that. Dan is totally screwed as a male. By the end of this story line I expect Dan will be without his balls and penis and be turned into some glorified sub sissy. Kendra is not really a Dom if she allows what Natasha did to Danny. There is no safe word that I remember and Dan certainly should have used it.

A few places dragged where not the correct words were used: "Your" instead of "You're", "whole" instead of "hole" (video booths), and "threw" instead of "through" (Natasha spanking Danny).

The whole scene with Natasha was brutal sadism. First she shoves his face into the wall hard, then she spanks him hard several times with her hand, then she whips him with a riding crop leaving red stripes, then bites his ass really hard, then uses a bamboo cane on his ass until he is limp and unable to struggle, then she kicks him in his balls. After all of that he limps back to the counter and sits there in a total phased out shell-shocked state until Kendra finally comes get him. And that is only his first day. I certainly hope that Kendra recognizes that Natasha went way over the top and gives him some great aftercare. I wonder just how far this story is going to go. Needs more pictures though.

Oh, and Danny did not follow Kendra's instructions to shave all of the hair off of his body. He still has hair on top of his head. I imagine that Kendra will exact some punishment for that.

I thought it was funny that Kendra asked him to find an outfit for her so that he could "rip it off of her and fuck her brains out". Yeah, as if that will ever happen. Great fantasy story but brutal. You have to bring back that other woman that wanted to see what Danny is going to look like in a few weeks.

Can’t wait for more

Learn how to use it. Edit your work.

Just keep him cumin!

Too many distracting, silly spelling mistakes, threw is the past participle of the verb to throw. Through is a word you should familiarize yourself with.

Amongst others.

You need a proof reader.

very distracting near the end 1st Natty then Kendra?? was it proof read ?????

Is English your native language? That may explain the troubles with spelling and grammar. You need a better proofreader. Keep working on your writing.

You definitely need the services of a good editor/proofreader. I can give you the email of one who does erotica. She' very good and quite reasonable. The story arc is fun: a sexy coming of age story. I look forward to the next chapter.

Too brutal for me but thanks for sharing.