All Comments on 'Dark as Ivory Pt. 03'

First time commenting on here - and wow! This has got to be my favorite story I've read on this site. You are an absolutely brilliant writer !!

Such a cute and nice story, really liked it. Thank you!

I LOVED this story. The perfect mix of darkness and romance. Fetishes I would never do, like piss or ass to mouth and yet they made it all the darker and better to read my dear. If I could give 10 stars I would! Impeccable writing, enjoyable characters. Que bella!

Reading this is like having a dream and then waking up and wishing with all your being that its real. I wish I could try some of these fetishes lol and I wish life could be this perfect. Please shower us with more!!!!

Except using nails, pins and sewing the story was god damn amazing! Keep it up.

This has to be one of the best things I've ever read - mainstream or erotic! The whole 3 part series is beautifully crafted with wonderful descriptive skill that draws you into the story. I fell in love with both main characters and actually found myself with tears rolling down my face at the raw emotion of their love, several times. I actually forgot I was reading erotic fiction. Please tell me this is a true story. If the author is not actually a best selling mainstream author outside of this then I want to know why not? I want more from this outstanding writer!

This was a fantastic piece of writing. Im a curious sub and whilst some of the SM scenes were too extreme for my tastes, you gave me an excellent insight into the reasons why others enjoy such play.

This is the first time I have really understood why people enjoy pain.

This story has opened my eyes and my mind.

Too many stories here are about destroying and degrading women. I found this one refreshing because it is not just a tale of BDSM but one of mutual respect and even love.

Amazing.

Loved all the chapters. Kept imagining myself in her position. You are a great writer and can't wait to read more.

Yes and No. Ash is real and so are Jezebel and Tuesday. Both Jezebel and Tuesday are me. Ivory is probably also Ash, but Ash is weird and his friends are weird and these stories are the most edited I've ever seen of his. Ash is a brilliant writer, absolutely, his confidence doesn't allow him to publish his work without an editor. I've only been honored with his work before edit once. It's better, and Roark would hold disdain at how he lets his friends bastardize his work. - The stories are fiction.

To Ash: It's fucking weird as hell to see so many personal details about myself on the internet and it's fucking creepier when I don't believe for a second that fewer than 6 people have had their hands on this. (To anyone reading this, 6 editors is completely my fucking speculation because this is a man who WILL NOT TALK TO ME.)

So, hey, I'm drunk, (big surprise right?) and I want some advice. Ash and I have a long fucking history. Long-time, weird, full of mindfucks/gaslighting (from him) and mutual low-grade abuse. We met online, when I was 19, in 2006, as in, when I was 19 years old I found his blog on myspace and could not get enough. He went private and I had the audacity to add him as a friend. He accepted, liked the blog I had going on, and we were pretty much instantly close. He was a security blanket for me, he was everything I've ever wanted, but I knew that what I want/ed is dangerous for me. He was perfect, he lived far away, and was too hot to ever actually go for me. He was the perfect mix of what I knew I shouldn't want and was utterly unattainable.

Fast forward to 23. He came out to my hometown and after some real internal debate, we hung out. He was, of course, an absolute gentleman. Our memories from that visit are among the best in my life. I shared some of my deepest secrets with him, and he did too, I think. He kissed me on the cheek. It was the first instance of real love I've seen. The world fogged and the clouds around me glittered. I was wrapped in it, and then he was gone.

Let's stay at 23-24, for a brief moment. Obviously, I'm keeping the majority of our details secret, but these are important. After his trip throughout my state, he saw a seer, maybe a tarot reader, he didn't give me details, about us. - About that to Ash: "Oh hey, I figured out the thing about me that I had to discover, woah." But the jist was, we're pretty much always going to love each other.

At 24, he asked me to make a promise. Whatever happened, whoever he became, even after 10 years or more, I would give him one opportunity to sleep with me, and I would have to make that contact. I gave him that promise readily, partly because I didn't believe he could ever do anything to make me love him less and also because sleeping with him had been my deepest, scariest, desire for, well, five years at that point.

He also laid seeds, at this point, for me to come back. He told me he created a Literotica account - Morgan Ellis, which later I would instantly know as a pen name for him a decade later, beyond his actually telling me, but he did - actually tell me. (To his fandom, your welcome, he has, more, and it's less edited.) (This account was actually deleted by Literotica because he didn't actually write in it, wanting to keep it as place-holder until he decided to write again, in a format that I would see, despite how much I begged for more of his work, and yes he told me when Literotica decided to delete it. And yes, he implied that he was saving his writing for when I left, because he knew I would, and probably that I wouldn't be able to completely leave. - Just in case you wonder at Morgan_Ellis being so recent.)

By the time I reached 25-26, he turned into a white-supremacist of the worst kind. He's probably a king in the world of the Alt-Right. I don't spend enough time in that world to know if they recognize the respect he deserves. (I have never been racist. I'm actually out there, physically, with BLM protestors, though I honestly refuse to make friends with any organizers, because I'm afraid his anger at who I've become might lead to calculated punishment, by punishing them. I feel like he's always watching, more or less.)

At 26, I saw him for the last time I've seen him in person. Ironically, I saw him while traveling to research for a paper - why women fought the suffrage movement. This is ironic, because he has old-fashioned ideas deeply rooted in the patriarchy. (I say patriarchy instead of misogyny intentionally, because, aside from one fight that was publically on Facebook, for all of our disagreements, he's only been disrespectful towards me once and it wouldn't have been disrespectful if it wasn't public.)

The 2 days I saw him, at 26, were some of the weirdest in my life. He introduced me to what would later be his next gf, gave me a bullshit name for her, and I got drunk and made out with her and I still do not think she appreciated that. He took me to subspace with her on my lap, for the first, and only, time of my life.

He also did the hottest thing I've ever seen. The day before he introduced me to the girl he would later be monogamous with, we were in a hot tub at his complex and women showed up and he flirted with them. They were hotter than me, by his standards, by a long shot. I knew what he was doing instantly - he was making me jealous. Lucky for me, a random guy showed up. I poured all of my attention into him, this random dude, and turned all of our trivia games into a team and fed him every answer I could, I flirted, like I do. Ash kept his cool as best he could, but the women who he flirted with soon knew he was mine and that I was driving him crazy, at least for the night. The women left, but the random dude stuck around til public safety came around and told us to leave.

We left and the random dude walked with me. Ash followed, maybe 3 feet behind. The dude was inviting me back to his place, which I did not want. I gave some line about visiting my friends and not being willing to leave them and Ash was listening and immediately stepped in for me. He interrupted the guy's retort, puffed his chest, and said "She's not going back with you. You're welcome to come over, and whatever then, is up to her."

Ash, aside from being a gorgeous, strong, beautiful man, is built like a fucking war horse. It's like every line on his body is defined and conveys strength and danger. Needless to say, random dude went home and I never saw him again.

That night, he kissed me, and it was among the greatest happiness I've ever felt. It was like the first time I dropped Ecstasy. Way better than any Adderall, and for the record, I hated Oxy, and the first time I did it, it was Ash who I asked for a tutorial on "how do I do this?"

I was giddy and a fool and it felt like I was 16, but then I freaked and ruined it it in a way that would have shamed the shit out of me at 16 and still does at 33. Ash has seen me at my absolute worst and it's no wonder that he wonders if I have a soul, but then, it's a wonder that I still think he has one.

By the time I was 27, we had that public Facebook fight. It turned into a gaslighting assault that truthfully I deserved and somehow knew, the whole time, that I would survive, as in, I knew that he hadn't given me more than I could handle, while knowing I deserved anything he gave out.

He also stopped talking to me around 2016. I don't message him often, but while he makes sure that the account he has that I know of is never removed, he doesn't answer. He reads, and he knows that I read them. We've both changed our numbers since, neither of us has asked for the new one.

Part of me believes it's not over. We've been secretive and have loved codes since longer than we've known each other. I'm loyal to him still, despite him representing everything I hate on a macro level. He's a god and I've known it and have only begun to understand myself as a goddess.

A very small of me thinks we can get over this racism thing. My parents are racist and I love them. The current status of things has given me a mantra - "My truth or my family." That gives me strength like you wouldn't believe. I have extreme family loyalty, but I am also stubborn and hard-headed, so I will not let my truth be overshadowed by any influence, ever, unless it's honestly more correct. My mantra settles my mind, because in only 4 words it encompasses all of my struggles and gives me the power I need to carry on with my truth.

Part of me will do anything to excuse him. Part of me thinks that he's done this whole Alt-Right thing for a higher purpose that I wrap my head in circles to understand and forgive. Part of me wonders if I am to be his Sofia, his light-bringer, destined to show him the folly in his beliefs.

Part of me doesn't give a fuck. Part of me loves him and craves him beyond any of his flaws, even if his flaws perpetuate systematic racism and sexism. I hate this part of me. This part of me feels like this is the submission that he wants and the stronger part of me will not give this to him.

Part of me is strong as fuck. This part of me builds walls and boundaries. This part of me will not reach out and ask him to forgive me or fuck me or give him any personal details regarding location or phone number. This part of me relies heavily on either 2 truths: 1. he's over me, or 2. he's waiting til I make good on that promise. I thank so many celestial beings, including him, that I technically don't have to honor that promise for at least 2 more years because 2 years from today will be almost 11 years. This part of me says no to racists and he has 2 years to become anti-racist til I have to decide what holds better to my self-respect - opening my legs for a white supremacist or dishonoring a promise to a man I've loved for almost half my life.

I haven't gone a day without thinking about him since turning 27 and I've never fully committed to a monogamous relationship because he's always on my mind. He's entangled whether I want him or not. I'm 33.

To Ash: Is this real or fabricated?

"Where once my eyes had been so analytical, I watched these motions with the pleasure of someone involved. God, what was I thinking? She was years younger than me, emotionally unstable, but that instability also spoke of loyalty. I had seen that adoration in her eyes, the gratitude for someone who could calm her. What was more, she was capable of empathy. I had to force her face in it, break her down, but she wasn't a bad soul. No, she was warm and sweet and I knew she was young. I didn't want to take her life and experiences away from her.

I wanted to be part of them. If she insisted on trying different doms or people out, I would understand. It would hurt like hell, but she had a right to live and find out whether I was really what she wanted. Maybe she would consider the idea of an open kind of relationship. Tricky, that, but if there was anyone it could work with, then I had to admit I was a good person for it."

Is it? Did you really decide that I was too young to not let live? Did you really let me leave to go to find myself? Are you really being this loving and respectful to make me come back to you on my own because you know I will cave and break despite myself the instant I see you? It doesn't even sound like you, how many people reworded that? Or is this just the you that's never been vulnerable to me about me and I just straight up don't recognize it? Like, I didn't even know you were jealous.

I'm poly now, in addition to my veganism, feminism, and anti-racism. Truth be told, I'm mostly poly to alleviate myself of the guilt of being in a relationship where I lay in bed and think of you. I like it though, the freedom it gives. Truth is, I would probably never believe you were keeping your end of monogamy, so the feminist in me would fight an exclusive agreement. The part of me that wants to give myself entirely to you cares only about the white supremacy part.

Thank you, sir, for keeping that FB account open. Thank you for remembering the only hard no I gave you in our fantasies and keeping water-play out of your writings. Your writings are intense, I'm still a baby-player, I can't look at a dom and take him seriously, I just can't, you did that. Delerium at any hands but yours feels wrong, irresponsible, not a choice to be had. For you, I add two more hard no's - absolutely no nails and no needles for at least the first year-two of play. If we ever get there.

I also ask that you keep this account and this comment thread open. I know I've gone hella fucking crazy with all the shit I just posted online. But you did too and the people who recognize this as yours probably fucking read all of that about me and have probably heard more. This comment is the most honest, most real I have ever gotten about you. We are both secretive, please don't get mad that you posted shit about me and I responded by basically started a Reddit poll on your work.

Maybe I'm just an attention whore, but I feel like I need this. Validation in my "No, no, no, he is bad" or "Hey, no, you obviously love each other and are soul mates, you'd be crazy to give this up."

In any case, my need for attention hasn't outweighed our need for privacy. I'm anonymous, so are you. Let me see what strangers have to say. (Please don't get your army to chime at me.)

I love you, I always will. I don't think I could ever not. I just don't think I can accept you as my partner, not when you stand with racism.

To All Those Not Ash Who Read This Far: Please help, haha. I've been at my wit's end for years all alone with my thoughts about this man who somehow manages to ignore me and not leave me alone.

Do I?

1.) Fucking run. He's a white supremacist and that will probably never change. He's also a sexist and while cis-gendered, old-fashioned roles are an absolute turn-on for me, it's not just game-play for him.

2.) Wait for him to make a real fucking move. (I will not let this weird-ass Literotica comment count as an actually invite to meet up, either he waits for something more concrete than a public display of my confusion or he breaks whatever cosmic deal he has going on that empowers him when I ask him to meet me.)

3.) Honor my promise, and within the next few years, give him my number, let him know where I'm at and see if there is something he can say that forgives everything or if the gravity of my love for him makes me forget what I cannot forgive.

Seriously, please help. I feel like people stumbling across a comment on a bdsm story will have better empathy than like, the general public, and this isn't something I can go to with my friends. I once had a therapist I confided with, he equated this with getting swept up by the mafia at a young age, lol.

Wow, what a ride. This whole story was filled with harsh bdsm more than I’m interested in but it was beautifully written and compelling so I stuck with the story. The dungeon scenes and the denial was way too much for me but honestly I still enjoyed the overall story. Can’t wait for more.

To the very long commenter, if what you say is true regardless if it is related to this story or not please break off all means of contact and immediately get a good therapist because your story is sad and nobody should hinder their life for someone who doesn’t treat them well (let alone a racist/sexist human).

I cannot begin to fathom the scope of your situation even after reading it in its entirety, I've never actually experimented in BDSM, even though I find these stories pretty hot. That said, that dimension and culture is foreign to me and I can't relate to the way it can seep out of the bedroom into everyday life.

However, the way your feelings for this person IS very familiar to me. Briefly, in high school, I dated someone who was a very dark, strong, caring yet severe personality. We were young and I was very much infatuated. I ended up doing something VERY dumb and we broke up for it and I received death threats and a ton of drama. But I never forgot him. I still have dreams about him sometimes; I still want him. But he was also engaged in racist culture and many problematic things. Doesn't change the way I feel now, even though it's been 8 years since I've seen him.

Something feels like my soul is tied to him and I have no explanation for it. But I've moved on in my day-to-day life. I don't think you should wait any more. It sounds like this relationship has consumed so much and given you so very little. Salvage the rest, find someone else you're compatible with. It may never feel the same way about them and that may be a sadness you'll have to bear (I sure do). But you'll be able to live your life and not feel always anxious about the choice you have yet to make. Maybe you and him will have another chance in the next go-round, if you believe in that kind of thing.

I absolutely love your stories. There's such a variaty of different play styles - this one probably being one of the most extreme. Your writing style is so compelling and gives so much insight that one can appreciate it even if S/M isn't one's cup of tea.

Hope to read more of your work in the future!

Holy Jesus. I don't generally like pain stories all that much, but the way you weave it into a developing relationship makes it easy to relate to. I was wondering how you were going to find a fitting way to end it, but the engagement was perfect. You have one evil mind, but you're a really talented writer.

Wow. This series is amazing. A little too hardcore for me, but the story craft ... wow.

"She was never without the marks of my love on her."

Omg I love every single thing you write. Major writers crush. Fuck.

She's a bimbo. He's a dick.

why is this not in the BDSM category?

To anonymous asking for advice

If Tuesday is really you then this story is a love letter.

He’s asking you to come to him and say you love him, he asking you to marry him. Maybe it’s because somewhere deep down he knows he’s bad for you but can’t bring himself to cut you off entirely so he justifies it to himself by the waiting for you to make the first overt move.

Or maybe he’s just a narcissist and likes fucking with your head.

In either case, this story is his ‘move’. For whatever that is worth.

In my opinion, dude is a psycho, run screaming the other way.

If you’re waiting for some grand gesture anyway though, this is it, take it as such and run into his arms, and hope he doesn’t stab you.

P.S. not sure what to do about the racism bit. I guess figure out whether you love him more than you hate racism and go from there

To get to the end of this story and then see there’s a someone commenting that the author is actually a crazy grown man that I guess led on a 19 year old and is now posting her personal story between her and him on literotica of all places is absolutely insane lmao. I’ve never seen discourse like this in the comments on this site. However, for any future readers who make it to the end, doesn’t that comment seem as if it was written by the author? I mean, the writing style is super similar. The phrases used and punctuation is also very similar to what the author wrote in the “story”. I bet the admins or mods can check the IP or if the user is using a proxy because if it is, in fact, the author (as in, Payne_Hall), then maybe he or she should be banned for, you know, causing drama?

Anyway. This story was good besides the weird needle play. The info dumps were pretty annoying and some of the dialogue got a little…cringey after a while (“Oh, yeah, my Eminem tattoo is such a great conversation piece xD”). I also rolled my eyes at the name Ivory and his ~Russian~ ethnicity, particularly because it added nothing to the eroticism of the story. Like, after that one part, his Russian accent was never mentioned again, and it really didn’t seem sexy. Instead it felt like the author just randomly added it in for filler.

Whaooo. I love this. I already imagine myself in all of this. So desperate for my own master

I love it and I want it

Nope. Too much. I made it to Pt.3 page 4 and the nails. No more.

Wow so hardcore...I guess there's a pair for everyone out there...they fit together with their kind of love. I wa reading your submissions by date submitted, I'll take a break from you and continue next time...I need a breather after this one...woah so intense

Oh boy. I have just started a re-read of all fo your stuff because it is all so fucking hot. I have missed your writing for the past 2 years. I hope you will start to write again. I love the Sulfur Club and the world you created around it. I hope you will jump back in and give us some new stories about new characters with some glimpses into your previous characters' lives.

I loved so much of this, but the weird own gender hating bit at the end really pulled me out of it. Also, the bad tattoo haha. The sex and violence are great, I just hated so much of the dialogue and "romance." Women who hate women just don't do it for me. And female masochists don't require it.