by Midnightstories2015
Thanks for your comment. This was a short story. I tried to limit the narration of Mauro's sufferings.
Thanks for your message. mauro was an emotional man who went into severe depression. He was left with no choice
.
Speak much English? Might want to enlist the services of an editor who does.
So while his life was a complete waste, his death was worth something. Of course once Samantha realizes she has been gifted the HIV virus she will have only a few years, at most, to live in regret. Her daughter is totally fucked over, but neither Mauro nor Samantha give a fuck about their child.
What a dark ugly story, in any language.
Vote 1* for every story rated by πππ π ππ πππππ (that's what her clients call her) aka BONNIE/VASTIE aka ANON!
...thanks a lot for ending this infantile bullshit!
For your next story I recommend to learn at least some basics about writing. Or even better stop writing for ever!
This story would easily win the awards for worst characters and worst plot...1*
I just meant it would have been nice to see some of the fall out or instead of the suicide maybe some type of transformation. Just a little more tale, to make it a more complete tale. It almost felt like you just wanted to end it as quick as possible and move on, as the concept had possibilities and could have gone anywhere. Look forward to future postings
I am sorry for disappointing you all. I am also thankful to readers like jayreal who habe suggested real improvements in the story. Thanks for the feedback
Any suggestion ??? Considering Mauro's situation , I think i did justice to his chracter. Do you recommend any other realistic end?
If he was going to end his life, why wouldn't he go to the police? Why would she accept becoming a prostitute? If he was beaten that badly, why wasn't he in the hospital? This story has more holes than Swiss cheese.
Samantha's future is not concluded. I did not say that she agreed to become prostitute. Yes mauro could have gone to police, but there was nothing that the resort did wrong. They signed the contract and he was beaten because of nuisance. But all this would have further created more embarrassment to them. His decison of sucide was based on long depression that he was going through. Well he may had a bad marriage but watching his wife as slut was too much for him. Most importantly the kind of treatment Samantha gave to him , was too much for him. Again as i Said he was an emotional man and he just couldn't take all that.
Alright, this was a weird trip.
But I appreciate Midnightstories2015's inclination to write what he thinks is a great story.
The sex scenes were well executed, though, I would have loved to see them longer, and in more detail.
Keep on writing!