Darling Nikki Ch. 09

"Go get him, Chelsea. Take that cock and make it yours. He needs this, and so do you. I love you, girl." I gave her a deep kiss then pushed her toward your bed, swatting her on the ass. She giggled and moved silently to your bedside and just stared down at you for a minute. Her hand trembling, she reached out and pulled the sheet down, exposing you to our view. My God, Daddy. Your cock is so beautiful! Chelsea and I just looked at it for a minute. She turned back to me, her eyes wide and kind of panicked. I motioned furiously for her to get on with it.

"But it's so THICK!" she mouthed.

"I know! So what? Get up there!" I mouthed back. She nodded, nervous, then climbed atop you. She took your cock in her hand, leaned down and licked it. I saw it twitch, heard her moan, and had to bite the heel of my hand to keep from moaning out loud, too.

Momma said you had a magnificent cock. Boy, she wasn't kidding! I've seen longer ones. Hell, I've HAD longer ones! But yours is just so beautiful. And I've never seen or felt a thicker one. Damn. I had no idea what seeing your cock in person would do to me. When Chelsea pulled the sheet down and I saw it there, standing up proudly in all its glory, I got wet. Before she touched you. My pussy just started pouring out a river. When she wrapped her lips around the head I came. I still had teeth marks in my hand when I woke up later, I was biting down so hard to keep from screaming out.

I wish I hadn't seen you like that. Until that moment, I'd never really thought about what you starting to move past Momma's death would mean. To me. You're my father, the most important man in my life. The most important PERSON in my life. But...a man. A very handsome, sexy man. Until that moment, despite my closest friends all wanting to fuck you, you weren't sexy to me. The sight of your naked, erect penis though? It flipped a switch inside me, and suddenly, you were a MAN. Not just my dad, but a powerfully sensual man.

I wish I hadn't seen you like that, because I wanted to go push Chelsea out of the way and take you for myself. Or maybe I'd have been nice and let her stay and play. But I knew, in that instant, before Chelsea turned back around to me, that I wanted to possess you as a woman possesses a man, and have you possess me the way a man possesses a woman. I wanted to be YOUR woman. I still do.

You asked me recently about my not having a boyfriend and only playing with girls. The truth is that I don't want any other man but you. That might change someday, but I don't think so. What I DO know is that until I have you, or until I can get past my desire for you, no other man compares. I love my girls, and I love having sex with them, and with other girls, but the person I want most in the universe is you.

That's why I'm writing this letter. Because I want so desperately to tell you how much I crave you. Your scent as you wrap your arms around me is intoxicating. The feel of your lips when they touch mine makes my knees weak. I want to kiss and lick and touch and stroke every single inch of you. I want to feel you plunging inside of me, filling me up, making love to me, fucking me, making me yours. I want your tongue in my mouth, on my breasts, in my pussy. I'm sitting here writing this letter, my hand cramping up around my pen, and the fucking Amazon River is gushing between my legs. I want you so much, Daddy. But I can't tell you that. You're not ready to hear it. You'll probably never be ready to hear it. And I'm terrified that if I ever told you how I feel, it would destroy us.

I can't lose you. It would kill me to lose you. But it's killing me to not TRY and see if we can be a man and a woman together, as well as Daddy and Daughter. How do I do this? How do I tell you how much I want you? I know you've seen me, finally, as a woman. I know you've noticed that I'm not a little girl anymore. But how I do I let you know it's OK? That I WANT you to notice me like that. I WANT you to touch me as a woman, to hold me as a woman, to love me as a woman? This is so hard. Harder than watching you exist as an empty shell for these two years since Momma died.

I don't know if she ever told you, but when I was 6 or 7 I told Momma that I was gonna marry you some day. She asked me, "What about me, Nikki? If you marry Daddy, what happens to me?"

I told her that I'd marry her, too and we'd all live happily together forever.

If Momma were still here, I don't think I'd feel the way I do about you now. I mean, I wouldn't have led a naked Chelsea up to your bedroom while you slept, would I? So I wouldn't have seen you naked and seen your cock. Which apparently is a magic cock, since just the sight of it has nearly driven me out of my mind. Or at least woken up the Elektra portion of my brain and made me see you in a whole new light.

The way you love Momma? I can see you loving me like that, too. The way your muscles slide under your glistening flesh when you do yardwork, the bronze cast to your skin, your strong jaw, developed chest, your really tight butt. I'd never have seen any of that if Momma were still here. But she's not with us anymore. Somehow, though, I don't think she minds the way I look at you now. She wants us to be happy. She made me promise her that we'd be happy. And I know I could make you happy, Daddy, and you could make me so deliriously happy back. And she'd rejoice with us about it. I don't care what the rest of the world thinks. I love my Daddy, and I want him to be my lover. What we do in private is no one's business but ours. And I feel I have Momma's blessing. Every single day I hear her say, "Don't let your Dad die with me, baby. Make him happy.

"Make him happy.

"Make him happy.

"Make him happy."

I just don't have the courage.

But I can't tell you any of this. So I'll just keep telling my story and maybe it'll help me figure out how to let you know how weak in the knees and wet in my pants just the thought of you makes me.

* * *

I had to stop writing for a while. Writing all that out last night got me really worked up. Not just sexually, either. I'm a complete wreck emotionally, finally admitting out loud, well, on paper, how I feel about you. I haven't even expressed all this in the privacy of my own head before now. Not fully and completely. Not like this. I had to sneak out to the shelter yesterday and hide this letter to make sure no one stumbled across it. And then sneak it back to my room just now so I could keep writing. I feel kind of ridiculous. I know you respect my privacy and so does Bryce. Neither of you would come snooping in my room. But this letter is so private and intimate, I just can't imagine NOT hiding it when I'm not actively working on it. Whatever.

So yeah, I watched Chelsea play with and suck your cock. Until you started waking up. I closed the door as quickly and quietly as I could. I didn't leave, though. I...hell, I couldn't bear to NOT listen. I wanted to make sure you actually let Chelsea fuck you. She wanted you so badly! And you needed it, too. But if I'm being honest, which is kinda the point of this whole thing, since I wished it was me in there with you (and that thought was still blowing my mind) and it COULDN'T be me in there with you, I at least wanted to listen. I wanted SOME kind of connection to you and sex. So yeah, I lied twice the next night during "I Never." Sue me. I made sure to take 2 extra big drinks to make up for it.

I was so happy when it sounded like you finally got over yourself and agreed to do Chelsea! And I'm so proud that she turned on the waterworks like that! You're a sucker for a crying girl. The whole damsel-in-distress thing goes right along with you being a knight in shining armor. hehe I honestly didn't think she could do that, though. Props to her!

Yes, we're manipulative bitches. But only when we have to be. And only when it's for your good.

I giggled so loud when she yelled at you to stop teasing her that I'm surprised you didn't hear me! And when you told her to ask you politely to make her cum? Oh, Daddy, I came again hearing that tone in your voice. I started playing with my pussy when I shut your door...and I didn't stop until I heard Chelsea saying she had to get back downstairs. I don't know how many times I came listening to you and Chels fuck, but I actually left a little puddle on the carpet outside your room.

I cleaned up the puddle later, after Chelsea and the other girls had gone to sleep. That took awhile. Everybody wanted to hear all the juicy details. Chelsea's a good storyteller! She told every single detail she could remember. How you felt in her mouth, how utterly rock-solid your cock was, how she felt as you slid inside her, the taste of your cum, everything! Most of us jilled ourselves off while she talked. God, that night was so fucking HOT! It was torture for me while she was talking because I didn't dare play with myself in front of the other girls. I couldn't let them know that hearing about you sexually was working me up.

Anyway, after they finally passed out I went upstairs and cleaned up the mess I'd left. I heard you crying. My heart broke as I listened to you sobbing. I cried a little, too, while I cleaned up my puddle listening to your misery. I couldn't take any more and opened your door right as you were finally settling down. I held you for a while but made myself get up and go back downstairs before I fell asleep with you. I didn't think you needed to wake up with me next to you. I figured you were going to have a hard enough morning without me adding to it.

Sorry for yelling at you so much later that morning, by the way. But you pissed me off. I'm glad you got WHY I was so pissed. I'm proud of how quickly you adjusted to the fact that you'd slept with Chelsea. I thought you'd indulge in a lot more bitching and moaning. And I certainly never expected you to act the way you did that afternoon and later.

I mean, damn, Daddy. Mowing the lawn with your shirt off, intentionally teasing us, your muscles all shiny from sweat and tight from effort? Mmmm You were SOOOOO yummy! And I NEVER expected you to shower downstairs and leave the door cracked! Me and Chels had a good giggle while the other girls took turns peeking on you.

When you told us you were throwing a party and went upstairs to change I never saw any of those bitches change clothes and put on makeup as fast as they did! Hell, most of them had bought new clothes while we were out shopping. I'd TOLD them you had promised to hang out with us that evening, so they made sure to get some sexy stuff to wear. But when you came downstairs in that tight t-shirt and those jeans? I could almost HEAR every pussy in the room start dripping. Mine included. You hadn't looked that good in a long time, and I swear my twat tightened up at the sight of you. I'm pretty sure I drooled a little, too.

Every single moment of that party is etched laser-sharp into my memory. Us playing in the pool and you sitting on the deck chair looking all sexy. Dancing with us. Oh, Daddy...the way you moved, and the way you LOOKED when the girls were grinding up against you! I'd never been so turned on. EVER! Not even listening to you fuck Chelsea the night before was as hot as watching the girls try and get a piece of you. I wanted to go grind on you, too. I wanted to feel your hardness pressed between my cheeks, your hands on my waist. I'm so glad I got my wish a few weeks later when we went to that club for your birthday! Best night of my life! So far.

I Never was fun, and funny, but not as much fun as Truth or Dare. I saw you watching me as I gave Chels a lap dance. I could see the confusion as you realized, finally, that I'm a woman. I could see you panic a little bit, but I don't know if it was because you were getting turned on and I was involved, or if it was simply that I was doing that dance. It was literally the most difficult thing I'd ever done in my life to NOT dance over to you and give you a lap dance of your very own. My body ached to feel yours against me, to feel your hardness grinding against me, slipping inside me...

Had to take a quick break to get myself off. I've been masturbating SO much these last couple of months. I swear, all I have to do is hear your footsteps and I get wet! You drive me crazy, Daddy.

I was so envious of Regina, Bryce, and Lana when they lined up to maybe be picked by you to get fucked right there by the pool. I wanted you to pick me. I think Chelsea might have noticed something off about me right then, but I don't think she picked up on exactly what I was thinking. Otherwise she would have talked to me about it. Me and the girls usually talk about everything, and don't hold anything back. But I hadn't brought these new feelings up with them. I didn't know if I would, or even SHOULD, but I figured I'd probably talk to at least one of them at some point. Either Chelsea or Bryce, probably. They're the 2 I'm closest to, and both would probably accept my new desires pretty easily without getting weirded out. I'm sure all of the girls would be ok with it, eventually, and none of us would ever say anything to anyone else, but with Chelsea being so open and understanding about everything I'm sure she'd take it in stride, and with Bryce...well, she's got some shit going on that she'd probably be ok with it just because it's YOU. You mean the world to her. And if she didn't accept it simply for that fact, she'd accept it because she's a kinky little fuck.

Anyways, after you tossed your underwear over your shoulder and turned back around to see Bryce holding it, everything stopped. The entire COSMOS stopped as I looked at you standing there in front of the back door, naked. Your physique wasn't quite as cut as only a couple of years ago, but for having lived the last two years doing very little, you were still pretty fucking buff! Still a very sexy, beautiful man. I like that you keep your pubes shaved. Your beautiful penis was just out there for all the world to see, fitting perfectly on your form, not quite reaching your belly button (but then again, it was standing OUT from your torso, too), your gloriously smooth skin, your beautiful hair, the twinkle in your eyes that I hadn't seen since I was fourteen and we didn't know Momma was sick.

You looked like a god right then in your Peter Pan pose. A mischievous, playful, drop-dead gorgeous god of sex. And I wanted to worship you. From head to toe and until the end of the universe, I wanted to fall on my knees at your feet and worship you with my body, my soul, and my love. My God, Daddy, I'll never get that sight of you and those feelings out of me. They'll be with me forever.

When I asked Lana if I could be her consolation prize, I didn't know you'd cum all over her tits. I started drooling as she walked over to me, and I kissed her harder than I've ever kissed anyone. Especially when I could taste the remnants of your cum on her tongue. As quickly as I could I moved her to where I could kiss her chest and lick up all your jizz from her. I think Chelsea was watching what I was doing, but she just smiled as she kept playing with her delicious pussy. Maybe I SHOULD talk to her about all this.

I've never minded the taste of a guy's cum. I've never LIKED it, but it's never grossed me out or anything. But yours...fucking hell, Daddy, it's the tastiest thing I've ever had in my mouth! My emotions and my desire for you made it that way. Because I'm sure that, objectively speaking, your cum isn't really any better than any other guy's, but damn. It was fucking ambrosia! And I so badly want to get some straight from the source!

After cleaning up all your cum from Lana's tits I played with her and Regina, having a marvelous time pleasing my girls, and being pleased by them. Every chance I got, though, I watched you. I watched as you kissed Bryce, and I watched as you loved on her neck with your hands and mouth. I nearly came when she screamed out her orgasm, and I heard her demand you give attention to her tits. I DID come when I heard you start eating her delicious pussy. Did you notice how it tastes like strawberries? God, I love her pussy, Daddy. As much pussy as I've eaten, hers is my absolute favorite!

I got Regina off and had another orgasm in Lana's mouth. I got Regina off my face long enough to see you make out with Chelsea and to see her go and bring you guys some water, insert your beautiful cock into Bryce, and then go in the house. I maneuvered Regina and Lana around so I could watch the two of you. As I loved on Lana's tit with my mouth I watched you and Bryce fuck. I've never seen such a beautiful sight, Daddy. She's had such a hard life. I know how much it meant to her to have you treat her so well, and fuck her so good. She loves you, Daddy, almost as much as I do. Hell, she's IN love with you. Just like I am. But after what I heard and saw last night, I know you know she is. And I know you're in love with her, too. I won't EVER take that away from her. Or you. I just hope that someday you can love me that way, too.

I was watching when you came inside her. It was that instant when I knew, I KNEW, that I had to have you. I HAVE to make you understand, somehow, that I want you. That I will be your lover, your woman. Somehow, some way, I'll make you mine and you'll make me yours.

When you turned your head and looked over at me, I could feel the electricity, the heat, the desire in your gaze. I KNOW that look in your eyes wasn't just because Regina's mouth was plastered onto Lana's pussy and my mouth was on her tit. I know you were watching ME. And I crave you. I wanted so badly right that minute to go over and kiss you, a lover's kiss, to let you know that I want you, too. But I also knew that you probably didn't realize you were looking at me like that. And that if you realized it, it would mess you up. Because I could also see the conflict and confusion in your gaze.

But I was so fucking turned on that I couldn't help shoving two fingers into my wet, needy pussy and bringing myself to another orgasm. Looking into your eyes while I came is the single most erotic thing I've ever experienced. I don't know if I blinked or not, but I'm damned sure you didn't. Fuck.

I'm back. Had to get myself off again just thinking about that night. That moment.

I've never cum so hard as when you were watching me that night. My legs gave out and I laid there in my own juices; I'd never squirted before that, but having your eyes locked on mine while I jilled myself off just took me to the best, most intense orgasm EVER, and I sprayed out a gallon or two. Fuck.

I had to crawl back to the house. I knew if I looked at you one more time I'd have crawled over to you and stuck your dick in my mouth and sucked you till you filled my belly with your seed. God, I wanted to do that SO BAD! Someday.

Going to sleep on the couch with you the next night, after all the girls were gone, and I after I read you the riot act for not answering your phone and scaring me half to death that something had happened to you, was so amazing. I love feeling your arms around me as I fall asleep. I always have. That night, though, after the weekend we'd just had, when you held me close, it was all I could do not to kiss you the way I so desperately want to. The simple act of you holding me had me leaking like crazy. How did you not smell how aroused I was?

I woke up the next morning feeling your hand on my bare skin. I could feel you stroking your hand softly up and down me...and I could feel your hand brushing the bottom of my boob. It felt so amazing to have you touch me like that! Then you had to go and realize what you were doing, damn near rip my shirt off getting your hand out of it and off me, and dumping me on the floor! Stupid man.

I'd apologize for laughing when you called me freaking out about Dana figuring out you'd FINALLY gotten laid, but I'm not sorry. It was funny as shit! I still giggle about that occasionally. Chelsea nearly peed herself laughing when I told her!