All Comments on 'Date, Interrupted (750 words)'

5 stars

Good kids. Dad was clearly the parent whose values made the strongest impression on them.

If it wasn't for the daughters she would have gone. So he is happy with the situation?

five stars for this line alone:

"Do you love me? Us?... If you do, show it."

Those girls are not to be messed with!

5

That's how it should be done. 750 words is just right.

Well done. Tough to tell a satisfyingly complete story in just 750, but I think you’ve done it. 5*

Having said that, a further challenge for you would be to write a similarly concise and satisfying 750 on the fallout of Datus Interruptus.

Difficult to get it covered in 750 words, but this is spot on.

a moment of stupidity

Doesn't solve the problem, though. Couldn't do that in 750. Nice story. D

Nice little vignette, it works well. Thank you for posting it.

"The Hell You WILL!" Just makes it last longer. But I'm not sure about taking her back. Good story. The Duke would have been proud.

" A man's got to do what a man's got to do." John Wayne

The BEAR

Good read. But the question has to be asked why was the wife going on a date with another man.

She was already planning to fuck some other dude, which in most cases would mean she already had, just not had an official date, but just a quickie in a hidden corner somewhere.

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A clue for other writers: first adultery usually isn’t planned, but just happens, mostly spur of the moment.. A planned assignation is the second fuck, not the first.

I don't like stories where the end result, as here, is that the monogamous main character stays married to a cheating spouse.

Pretty good try. I like his innovative solution and most of the story was complete all in 750 words. 4.1*

5 Big Blazing Stars for the Writing, Great Take on this Trope. Saving the Dating wife from cheating self. Tho that doesn't mean that she hasn't already or won't anyway Cheat, regardless. If I was the Husband, I woulld be feeling a lot less secure in our relationship. Thanks for the Effort. Good Effort. Thanks, Guster2U

He still wants her back after all that? Isn’t that just postponing the inevitable?

And to be fair if the best he can do is Olive Garden I’d leave him too,

Original and real confrontation

She will just be smarter about getting caught the next time.

Great daughters, but I would not trust her out of my sight. 5*****!

I grudgingly will give you a 5. You started off the story as a typical BTB stroker for the little boys who get off on that, and then you didn't give them what they came for

She will just be discrete next time. Cut her loose as soon as possible.

What a total loser of a husband. You are going to have to up your writing game to live in LW. Right now you are rocking 1 star stories.

I loved the fact that this is one of the 750 word stories that is also complete.

Once again,decent premise but rushed through for your "challenge" of a 750 word story. i gave you a bonus for plot, making it 3 stars.

well written and told no nitpicking here

Short and to the point. One of the most entertaining stories of this sub-genre!

This one gets a 6* and a Follow and Add Story.

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Missing is the youngest giving mom a single hard slap knocking the CHEATER psyche from her mom's head. As mom has NOW committed serious emotional CHEATING upon dad, crushing dad's resolve while his marriage love hangs by a thread.

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Another MISS is of a more serious intervention, i.e. the granddaughters calling grandma. So Grandma can smack her daughter into sanity trying to save her marriage from the inevitable divorce. Let female power justice prevail.

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6⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Hooyah, Salutes

It's too short to get 5-stars but I gave it 4 for the proper reaction and the straightforward way of handling the idea that any man would put up with this scenario of the little misses announcing she was going out on a date with someone other than her hubby. Never happen in my world. Not even for just dinner.

Coulda kept the lbd and the lingerie for dad,, $ is $

Scores 3/5, too trite

Seriously? We're to believe that all of a sudden she did a permanent about-face and will never ever think about cheating again? What she will do is simply find another fuck buddy and do it more discretely. The husband is stupid if he believes she's learned her lesson.

So he uses the kids as leverage for her to stay with him ….. seems somewhat pathetic in my opinion

Too late!

Well that seemed like a temporary fix to a MUCH larger problem. And a real waste of money.

OK? He stopped the physical for that night, but what about the emotional during the lead up to the event? Have they already been boinking at lunch and this is just them finally being open about it? Will she just start sneaking off now? Divorce is the only real solution in this story.

A sketch only. No real pathos and primary betrayal is left unaddressed.

3 stars

5 stars, but she's gonna cheat sometime in the future. She wasn't repentant.

Staying home? I thought they were going to Olive Garden.

$500, they could have returned t!he damn thing.

Uh uh.

No I mean no.

The stupid hubby wants to rug-sweep the massive disrespect. The stupid cheater will buy another dress and be more sneaky and discreet on the next date. I think marriage is over hubby can stay on for the kids as they declared that divorce will destroy them but it's over between spouse unless he turns to being SIMP.

/

3-star though I think the writer has good talent in organizing words but I didn't like the plot.

Next date will be behind his back. Dump the batch before she does it for him. Trust gone..

But was the intervention enough to stop her in her tracks or merely postpone the promised date until it could be arranged more discreetly? Would she just end up being more cautious? The intervention simply driving the desire underground awaiting a better opportunity. So many questions and no answers to be had.

About time the dad got the kids involved about time the kids had their fathers back, 5*

Just because you threw up a roadblock does not mean that you quelled that desire, now she'll just be sneaky.

I like the750 word format but this time it didn't work. Brianna's intervention scuppered Velma's plans for that night but didn't change her mother's original intention. Nor did it do anything to stop her from continuing to see her boyfriend in the future and just meant that next time she'd just go behind her husband's back. Sure, that would result in certain divorce but that shouldn't worry her if she's crazy enough to pull a stunt like that in the first place.

JR

I love a 750 worder and the premise but the ending was too abrupt. I would have liked to have seen Velma try and justify her date to her husband and children and what was so special about Wilson so I think it needed to be a bit longer. 3* for me.

Who says she has nit already had sex with him? If it got to the point that the wife dies mot care if the husband finds out the affair has been going on for quite a while.

For a 750, this earns a five star rating.

WELL DONE.

JPB

Too little and already too late.

A great start. A finish dealing with the debris would make it a story

Yes, I’m sure they are all good now. 👍

Sorry but already more then enough to end a marriage.

Gorcing her to stay wont work.

I'm in agreement with a few where the result pales in comparison to the averted future event and were the planned event is not the first transgression. That said, well written and increased my hypertension.

At least he wasn't one of the guys t hat refuses to tell family and friends what happened or why they separate etc.

Would be an interesting follow up to hear the conversation at Olive Garden and then towards the end of dinner having the girls calmly ask dad if they can live with him during and after the divorce.

I enjoyed the read… Sadly, by this stage, the emotional affair is already well underway. All this effort did was stop this particular date. It’s going to take a lot more effort to reach his wife in order for her to see that what she was doing was wrong. 4/5 BRB

She cheated soon as she bought all those things, she cheated when she agreed to the date.....stopped her today, she'll just hide it tomorrow

jflindersabout 2 hours ago

I don't like stories where the end result, as here, is that the monogamous main character stays married to a cheating spouse."""""" I agree!!. Let her go ( or make her go). She has already committed adultery and needs revenge to be smacked upon her.

@c;ark - he has kids to think of :( Now, chapter 2 could be him divorcing the bitch after 15 year old goes to college in 3 years. AFTER he had 3 years to get lower paying less stressful job, divert a ton of money to daughters' college education and more money layer-untraceable bitcoin, and 3 years to find wife #2.

@clark - oh, and any family destruction after that, the kids are on his side far more likely than now.

And yeah, you're clearly either an idiot who hasn't worked a day in their life living off daddy's trust, or an idiot who thinks taking the family to a fancy restaurant is more important than mortgage, kids' college etc... Oh or maybe just a whore at heart.

Divorce at once.

Next she'll find away to hide it. Stupid shit...

Husband doesn't have the balls to deal with this himself. He has his daughters do the dirty work. I can see why she wants to date other men.

Very good….but did Velma understand where she went wrong??

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4 ****

Nice quick story, tells it all….. Good idea making it a whole family event. Thanks for writing.

Start hiding assets

Not a bad story. But, I can see why it's taking a beating.

Best reaction and resolution to the “I’ve got a date” and “not with you” scene. 5+

I think it would have been better if he named the girls Shaggy and Scoob.

Put Mom out on trash day, in the shards of her new dress, with a sign that says "Desperate and Dateless."

Yeah, I don't see her giving up after spending her husband's money to look good for the predator. His work is just starting.

She feels zero remorse and appears to think she is doing nothing wrong. No indications that this won't happen again.

But love seeking help from his daughters. But once trust is broken, as it was here, but is the stupid slut of a wife going to do to fix it. The sense of entitlement she projects indicates this is going to happen again. But maybe a lot more secretly. She does nothing to show that she isn't 'a traitorous bitch'

Very funny story. As for you, lc69hunter, Just go fuck yourself, you little wanker.

Ain’t over though, is it?

"Brianna, who'd not expressed any opinion, stepped forward, picked up the LBD and ripped it down the middle before anybody could do or say anything." - LOL, I'e often said in these "wife goes on a date" stories that the husband should rip the dress right off her.

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What's she doing spending $500 of family money like that?

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This still doesn't address her latent infidelity.

10 star! Stand your ground. Don't be a wuss.

I hired a friend of mine that used to be an investigator. He got proof and I divorced her according to the prenuptial agreement that her daddy insisted on. I got the house most of our investments and custody of our children. The money that came from her family I put into investments that were low risk for our children. I didn't marry her for her money. We eventually had counciling and stayed together. Of course we had another agreement signed.

While I love it when the MC immediately shows his children the truth, and daughters condemning their mother’s behavior is awesome, the outcome is beyond absurd. You don’t go to family dinner with a woman who intended to date someone else.

The mom didn’t go, only because her children destroyed her clothes, and confronted her openly. She hasn’t repented. She’s still just a slut in her heart. She’ll just learn to be a sneaky slut going forward.

The correct response is to explain the change in their mother’s fundamental beliefs to the girls, and proceed to divorce anyway. It doesn’t matter that she doesn’t go, what matters is that she WANTED to go!!!

The girls are old enough to choose to live with their father. As the custodial parent, he will keep the house, and receive child support payments from her.

ZK

Excellent, well paced, five star special. And as mainer42 said "no nitpicking" required - except by the obsessive pickers of nits.

Excellent, complete story. I can’t understand why some people will only accept a story in which the husband divorces his wife and totally destroys the wife and her paramour with no previous cheating when the assignation is thwarted as in this story. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

5 stars - I like this story.

The marriage is over,. Now they are on equal footing and all family members are aware. Now to plan the exit strategy. A 750-word short story that I cheered for the husband and kids.

Well written and lots of action! The reality of a situation like that, though, would end in immediate divorce. Intent is everything here. She planned to betray. She spent money to betray. She already betrayed. It’s over.

A bit too simplistic for me.

A rather good story line, poorly executed. Disappointing.

She was planning to get her feet in the air, no doubt about it. Time to start planning an exit.

Good one ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

At long last a working solution; excellent!

Another family matter resolved.

Well written and a good outline for a story but it only gets 1 star because it is 750 words. These are getting tired and boring unless it is part of a challenge.

Stop already. Give us complete stories.

On the plus side, it doesn't have a lot of mistakes, etc. It is well composed. It just isn't plausible (to me anyway). It is more like a fairy tale, or how you wish things would go.

It's not like we can't imagine the LW trope here. It was a great start to a story, but I have to admit I can't abide by the ending, it's much more complex than that - which is what 750 word limit does. I really don't have that big an issue if you can tell a story in 750, but in this case you can't.

Hard to write a good, interesting story, much less a 750 word count. You nailed it. 5 stars Bob

It would have been a di once for me.

Have to agree with anon,,, as I am also posting anon,,, cheering for the husband and kids also and as others have written exit strategy is warranted. Good short story with all the good points covered even the name of the bad guy.

I loved how he grab the girls to bring them into see their whore mother getting ready for date with her lover. 5 Stars

Still divorce the bitch

Nice happy ending and all...

But we all know this resolved ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, right?

Deja perra

Don’t let her off that easy. Take the, planning to cheat, bitch to Red Lobster instead. That’ll show her.