All Comments on 'Date Night'

The Cuck story towards the end wrecked a very mediocre story.

Scores 1/5

It was very well written I do think author is quite a writer.

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The story started solo well and when Ben suggested the MC impregnate Betty, the story went downhill fast I stopped reading a paragraph later. Yeah I skipped the sex part.

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BUT this one was one big cuck story.

All characters except the lawyers, police and daughters etc. were so despicable. The MC the biggest of them all, can't share his but likes to have sex with other wife. Hypocrite.

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Wow that degraded quickly. Wemt from OK tp absurd in a jog. Impregnate my wife. Does not matter we just met.

"short but attractive" Short women aren't usually attractive?

Can we assume that there was a DNA test for Johnnie?

When you get in a menage like this, is there usually any blowback from your adult children?

One moment...

...May's parents are 3000 miles away, and then they were helping around the house the next day. Now that's a speedy flight.

But a good weird. I have to admit that I liked it.

Nonsense.

Wow.

That was one of the worst piles of garbage I have ever had the misfortune of reading on here.

The first half a page was absolute drivel.

Skipped to the end and surprise surprise still absolute drivel.

A thoroughly earned 1*

I didn't finish it. I read up until he said he was sleeping with her twice a week. If you're going to divorce your wife for having sex with other guys then you don't sleep with her while she's having sex with other guys, ring or no ring. It doesn't make sense. In fact, the whole thing was stupid.

I stopped reading when he threatened her.

First, you can initiate a divorce but you have no right to arbitrarily decide that she can never return.

As well, the fact you threatened her can be construed as a pattern of abuse. All she needs is to show the voice recording to the nice police officer and dear old hubby will be arrested and a restraining order put on him.

It will also be used against him in divorce court.

Loved it.

-26thNC Approved

Page one was great. Then it goes downhill on page two. It turns out to be another boring cuckold story.

MY NOTE IS THIS.

Any man or woman who has sex with someone else with or without permission are cuckold's.

why did u describe the first black person as African American. then described the next black person as black guy. probably would have been better off not describing them at all. the fact that u did and how u did it was dumb. not all black ppl are from Africa. oh and i know it little but if she internal and external stitches she wouldnt be taking a shower by herself. i wanted ti enjoy it but the above wouldnt let me

Crazy story, but well told. The epilogue was really a part two - it’s own story, because it came from such a radically different perspective. Interesting. Thanks

I don't know what I just read besides a bunch of Loving Wives tropes all jammed together.

I'll skip rating it as it's mostly bizarre and creepy.

It did come in handy to read during a bad headache though.

Another disgusting tripe from this disgusting faggot !

John got a good outcome, Roger got what he deserved, his wife , not so much. I enjoy stories where the karma was distributed evenly and fairly even if My got a little better deal than she deserved, even Karma can't always get it perfect!

Good story, well told, Thank You. 5*****

Went off the rails real quick! 1*

from the middle to the end you lost me. Not my kind of tale

Difficult to explain the whirlwind of thoughts, derived from the first reading of this work...

In my mind, May's deliberate attitude, her total insanity in attacking her husband, on account of the abused lover, and the aftermath of that, would be enough for a divorce and complete breakup of relations with his ex-wife.

John's behavior in sleeping with his ex-wife twice a week contrasts with the fact that he would not accept an openly married relationship.

When he accepts Betsy and Ben's proposal... then the train actually derails.

Forgive me the author, but the type of attitude that John starts to have is not coherent. You cannot switch from water to wine in such a short amount of time.

Moving forward… May's involvement in the cuckold twist of Ben and of getting Betsy pregnant was not logical, let alone believable.

John screwing May, without birth control or condoms, despite testing themselves frequently, was a harbinger of a new baby and bonds attached to his ex-wife.

The daughters, finding the growth of the "family" very good and fun and enjoying the brothers, tells me that they will be twisted in the future in their relationships.

3 stars. The writing effort must always be rewarded.

The story should have been finished by filing the papers. Life would follow. ahead, each in his own way.

Perhaps the later flourishes were a treat for readers who enjoy cucks and soak and RAACs on call.

But that, as I always write, is just my opinion.

Nice pace.

Good plot twists

5*

Dunno about that one, pretty weak I guess. And then there are Ben and May. May was kinda unsatisfied and also wanted variety. So why would she fuck Ben? From what I've read he is a very lousy lover. Atleast thats what Ive read between the lines and it was openly stated by Betsy, his wife.

This is a kitchen sink story. Throw everything in it! Still enjoyed it for what it was.

So the husband didn’t want to participate in swinging because he”isn’t that kind of guy” but was ok to sleep with his ex wife and two other women before he knocked up another woman? Plot holes man..plot holes

Really? The cucks and swingers and swappers will love this story.

"I feel stale. Now that the girls are gone, I'm going to have some fun." - Gonna be Captain Obvious here (wink), Have you mentioned feeling "stale" with your husband, worked with him to freshen things up? You can't have fun with your husband? Hey, maybe he should go have some fun with another woman, that's okay, right?

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"you're not divorcing me either." - That's not under her control. She can fight it, but she can't stop it.

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"I suppose I could have approached it better." - What "better" way is there to tell her husband she wanted to fuck another guy? How should he have approached her to say that he wanted to fuck another woman.

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"I thought it would wake you up." - Again, there's no indication that he needed "waking up," or that she had tried less extreme measures to wake him up.

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Was good until you brought the cuck in. Why couldn't Betsy have used AI? When they went out and found Ben with his cock out, why didn't she suck him off instead of John?

It got weird

Well that certainly was a waste of time.

FFS, it's "bated" breath, not "baited" breath, unless he is storing nightcrawlers in his mouth. Also, the story is ridiculous.

First part was great, second came off the rails. All in all it was hilarious.

Weird but a fun story to read. Isn't that the bottom line for stories? Thanks for your effort. 5*

One of the craziest reads ever on this site. Demander I salute you.

Nice fantasy

Beyond fiction, well written, too impossible to believe

gave it a 3, atleast he divorced her ass

I personally hate the concept of an open marriage and why would the bitch wife want someone so different and the idiot show up at there house, that alone should have ended the marriage why go after her husband for defending his home from a potential intruder. Dumb all the way around.

Not very believable, considering he was willing to end his marriage over infidelity, then to make another man a cuck, doesn't track well.

1. The dithering about divorce by the husband when it's clear May is an unrepentant slut creates yet another weak, needy, cuckish LW husband character even though he finally divorces her. This fails to approach anything close to credible behavior. -1

2. The ending is adolescent fantasy. -1

3. WTF are you thinking letting MAY skate on the law? Even though she is a woman, and therefore not treated as harshly by our corrupt legal system, she would be charged at a minimum with a. 2 counts of assault with a deadly weapon (aggravated in one instance by domestic violence and in the other by an assault on a cop), felony murder (a killing that occurs in the course of a felony is charged to the felon), and resisting arrest. Even with a female prosecutor nobody is going to do any sort of "deal" that doesn't involve serious prison time (especially if the "murder victim" is a member of a privileged race.) -2

4. The "jungle fever" trope is an over done LW cliche that is offensive on many levels. -1

Because you can't get a 0, 1 will have to do.

You have done, and can do, better than this.

What about Roger's death?

I'm guessing you're not a lawyer, but IRL May would've been charged with felony murder for Roger's death. That's considered 1st degree murder.

Doesn't matter who shot, it happened during the commission of another crime (May's assault on MC).

And plenty of precidents. Just recently in Penn, cops killed an 8 year old bystander and injured 3 more during a gunfight between two teenagers. The teens were charged for everything, and they only shot at each other.

The first half was interesting, but I confess you lost me with the cuckold behavior. If he couldn't accept it himself, what kind of man is he to do it to someone else even with permission?

At least try to do a little research. I suspect that the author of this piece is one of those folks that thinks the world works the way he wants it to. Newsflash: the world works the way it does, and we have to work within its parameters. No one files divorce papers over the phone. An attorney hearing a voice over the phone from another voice over the phone does not constitute evidence. There’s a lot more, but life’s short.

Many readers won’t enjoy reading your story while they are constantly saying to themselves, “that’s not true“, “no one does that”, “wait, that doesn’t make any sense!” I’m sure you’ll get high marks from readers that don’t spend much time thinking about reality, and maybe you’re happy with that.

1 star.

"Brennan was a big Irish looking guy with dark hair."

Trying ro visualize that, was it a really dark red?

Too weird. The thought that a standing adult could be shot and the bullet would have enough impetus to curve down and penetrate another adults heads without hitting something is just stupid. We never hear about what happened to the police officer (stupid, racist idea making him black) and we never hear about their divorce. And then the cuckold baby shit at the end put a dagger to the story. Bad idea, lousy ending.

Wow, the perfect politically correct story for this fucked up age we live in. It had it all except rainbows ( Ben never sucked off " the stud "), unicorns, and Nancy Pelosi. It did have interracial lover's,a black cop crying for killing a black man but to hell with the white woman he shot with a bullet instead of a teaser. We had cucks, wimps, and woke daughter's ( they only criticized Dad for being " cruel " ), oh well, as long as the college money keeps coming. Let's see, oh communal living, short lived guilt, old age babies,etc. Maybe the twins will find black lover's also and a real commune could begin. Kamala could be invited to the wedding, oops, sorry, what am I thinking, woke people don't do weddings, just baby daddies.

Well that was different! Enjoyed it.

The whole 2nd half of the story with Ben and Betsy was too weird. His relationship with May, especially after the disrespect, betrayal and physical attack on him was, IMO absurd. She really went off the rails.

And if May is seeing other men, how does he know it's his baby?

With a cliched title of "Date Night" this sadly lived up to expectations. This is just a godawful mess.

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You start with the empty nest wife informing the husband she has a date. Of course, the guy has to be African-American -- can't avoid that cliche. Then, with the assault and death, it went off the rails. That was bad enough, but the epilogue suddenly transformed him into a stud with his own mini-harem. The reads more like a satire of a LW story.

What a fun story. Thank you

I am giving you one, zero is not an option

What a stupid story.

That was strange tale.

This one needs some serious editing, though.

About the felony murder. Clearly, in many states, May could have been charged with it. The lawyer knew that at the hospital, but didn't say it to May. She thought it was unlikely and would scare the shit out of May. She was correct. Whether to charge - that's a prosecutor's decision. Not a bad one here. She got shot, she lost someone that she liked.

As for the one shot. Deflection. Stuff happens.

Our main man was NOT MARRIED anymore when he started with Becky - with permission. And, he was NOT MARRIED TO MAY anymore when he started back with her. Big difference. He divorced her because she wouldn't promise not to screw around. I imagine that if she had convincingly made that promise, he would have tried to stick with her. Just sayin' D

That took a turn.

now that was FUNNY thanks poor roger well NO fuck him OH that is right he is dead. soooo FUNNY

5 ⭐️, innovative, fun, different!

Confusing mix of two stories cobbled together.

WTH? You're usually a solid author, but the rails came off the literary train early and often in this story. Just one person's opinion, but there were two stories wrapped around the story arc and they should have stayed separate. In the end, none of the characters made any sense to me in their totality and it was one of the more convoluted plot lines I've seen in a while. That said, you delivered the pile of shit with style and grace. 3*

I’m not sure we’re you’re trying to go with your most recent stories. This is bottom tier bad, you even had to find the wife a stereotypical “Jamal” to cheat with. Crying black cop is upset , not at shooting a middle aged white woman with a rolling pin, but at hitting the poor innocent black guy with a stray bullet. Sounds like Minneapolis where a black cop gets four years for killing an innocent white woman, and a white cop gets life for killing a resisting, drugged up black habitual felon. That was the good part of your story, as it went completely off the rails after that.

"May. I'm going to divorce you for saying just what you said, whether you mean it or not. We're toast. I repeat, DO NOT RETURN HERE! It would be very dangerous. I can say this. If you stop this now, we can maybe do counselling and avoid a permanent split. But if you walk out the door, you can't come back."

"It's my house as well as yours. I can come back if I want. I will come back some time tomorrow. And, you're not divorcing me either."

I picked up my phone and dialed the home number of our attorney. He answered."

I mean, she IS right: it IS her house as much as his. And the threats of violence, NOT COOL. NOT LEGAL. FUCKED UP!! If someone would say this to me, I'd be like, "I'll be back with the law...and YOU'LL be out of this house..." which is more likely how it could happen.

I'm not into the notion of using a physical threat to 'handle' a problem. That's middle school bullying and is only supported in Red States, where science and reason seem trumped by 'politics' and 'freedom'. Ah, and then the federal government money bails them out and their corruption. Why are we wasting time with these states that don't want to be good enough people to be in The States? Let them fend for themselves. Secede, please Florida, Texas and any other state that really just wants to be a white supremist state. I'm cool with it. Just don't come begging.

btw, I didn't even get past..

"". I'm going to divorce you for saying just what you said, whether you mean it or not. We're toast. I repeat, DO NOT RETURN HERE! It would be very dangerous. I can say this. If you stop this now, we can maybe do counselling and avoid a permanent split. But if you walk out the door, you can't come back."

"It's my house as well as yours. I can come back if I want. I will come back some time tomorrow. And, you're not divorcing me either."

I picked up my phone and dialed the home number of our attorney. He answered."

He answered. Really? Good to know. It established the MC's standing as a total douche bag. I mean, the threats of physical violence and willingness to nuke the marriage at the mere thought of his possible inadequacy makes him a real prize in maybe, IDK, somewhere where there are no men?

I didn't get past this snippet because, let's face it, it don't get no better than this.

Yikes. This was all kinds of shitty.

Two stars. The divorce arrangement and thing with Betsy and Ben ran the story off way the rails.

Utter rubbish .

Give it up and find another hobby .

Not no but hell no

So of the worst crap I have seen on this site. The dithering about Divorce or not, the bullshit line with the other faggot and his slut and then the semi-reconcilliation with the woman who tried to kill him in an effort to have sex with another man while married to him. Just a fucking bag of flaming poop on the doorstep.

This is about the 20th story I have read where someone "makes" a lasagna almost instantly.

Unless they are baking a frozen lasagna from the store, this just isn't possible. I followed the recipe from The Joy of Cooking to make a lasagna. One of the instructions was to simmer the sauce for THREE HOURS. It turned into a two day event. Sauce the first day and construction and baking on the second day.

I planned the second one much better, used ready-made sauce, and managed to do the whole process in about four hours, but it was still in the oven for 90 minutes.

One does not simply "make a lasagna".

Thught we might get something decent. I was wrong, completely.

Though i think its fairly clear that, yes, you ARE a racist. The fact that you called out her date as a black man...well that was a start, and the fact you HAD to mention the cops were white and black and the black cop just had to shoot what was essentially an unarmed woman.

Guessing you masturbate to those homo erotic Trump paintings that that clearly closeted artist keep pumping out.

I can factually state you're a much trash as your stories, Gomer.

Wow.... If Hunter S. Thompson wrote erotica.... Just, wow! It's so far beyond gonzo, it's good. It's like modern art, with words! Of course, The Usual Suspects will hate it, because it doesn't fit into their ironclad, black and white mold of a 'proper LW story'.

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Entertaining, sexy and original.... 5/5!!!!

Weird. The police shot a woman armed with a rolling pin? Really? This author’s stories are getting weirder and more extreme. I think I’m done.

Well that went from awesome to jumping the shark rather suddenly.

Magic bullet. I'm thinking poor Roger was shot from the grassy knoll.

Had me laughing from "I have a date" to "baited [sic] breath", including the obligatory STD testing every month. Ridiculous story. What was the plot? Shoulda been posted on Reddit. One star. Oh -- not erotic.

This read like two different stories. First was the "date" type story and then all of a sudden we have a stud that is screwing not only his ex but other women as well. And what was she even doing being around at the end and why would she want sex with the salt dick wonder when she is getting her ex who is now a stud twice a week plus other better lovers?

HA! *****

Pro tip: never publish a story written while on meth and fentanyl.

Ick.

Couldn't finish it.

It was an interesting experiment. You understand most experiments fail? That's why they are called experimental, like some vaccines. This started out awkward and devolved into a crass cartoon. Four people living together essentially for the sex. Kind of polyamory, but more poly-lust, or just plain old promiscuity, which is what the wife originally proposed with the Open Marriage.

I hope it was fun to write. It was kind of ridiculous to read. But thanks for the effort.

Twisted off the rails stuff. Thanks for writing! *****

Everything from the first “one year later” to the end is dumb and ruined everything up to that point.

Weird!

Stupid ending

D Man, I have liked most of your stories, this one - not so much. It started off like most of the DATE stories, then quickly went sideways. The ending was a little goofy. I look forward to your next offering.

How does a bullet go straight through the chest and hit someone who is crawling on the ground?

The only believable thing in this story is the cops showing up and shooting someone.

DEMANDER HAS REAL SKILL .... fucking up a decent story. Not only was the story filled with racist stereotypes but the reasoning display by the husband in the 2nd half of the story is irrational to the nth degree. Even after the wife's date results in the death of somebody else ... her being shot in her possibly being charged with a serious crime for her to insist that she still wants to go out and screw other men and STILL thinks that it does not have to end the marriage..... is simply a sign of deranged mental instability.

..

Why would anybody man or woman want to be around somebody that mentally unstable regardless of how good the sex i

KIREI8.... INancy Pelosi ?....kamala Harris? I realize that as a member of the stupid dumb fuck trump mental retard brigade you have to make this political but nobody else does

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And one of the point you stupid fucking redneck turd... You could have picked other liberal politicians to mention. But in fact you only picked on women. Why is that fuck face?

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Are you a rapist like Donald Trump?

she love you john not from what i read , john your wife may a nasty whore you are a lame ass wimp.

The thing about erotic fiction is that to be somewhat arousing there has also got to be some level of realism. This story was so far off the rails that is was somewhere off in never never land. There were so many retarded, yes retarded left turns that it was not just annoying, it was stupid. About the only positive thing about this story was you had good grammar and punctuation.

On a story this lame we should be allowed to deduct points from your average.

****From a good BTB storyline to a screwy Louie cuckold f--k fest!!! Very different but still a good read. Thanks for sharing.

What a Schmuck!

Liked the beginning then it all went pear shaped and the latter half was like any other cuck story that had been tagged on to a promising start. Sorry a bit of a let down.

Ending ruined a decent start. Lousy.

Real fantasy, Slightly confusing and as commented by Anon, quote "If she was off the pill -- and since he was incapable, I assumed she was -- then she was pregnant by now."

Still 5* though for originality and 'good grammar and punctuation' re Anon.

You write very well but you have to get control of your imagination. In this story you move from a plausible plot to an improbable plot to a fantasy plot.... and, honestly, it doesn't work.

Interesting story, unusual in its way. 5* from me.

This story was all over the map. An open un-marriage, if you will, glued to an open marriage.

Can it get any weirder?

Probably.

Legio has got that little man syndrome. He has to always be putting other people down to over come his inferiority complex.

I'll keep my comments strictly technical. Was it doctor Phil Bevins or Blevins? You also write some stilted sentences occasionally, such as, "I'm getting some red." This was Betsy. "You, Ben?" It's like you start writing the dialog and then think, "I better let the reader know who's talking", by saying "This was Betsy". Try something like, "I'm getting some red", asked Betsy. "You Ben?" There was more, but I think I've made the point that you need an editor.

That was three stories.

So I gave it three stars.

Seemed about right.

A little racist...pass