All Comments on 'Dating Service Dilemma'

this story deserves a part II ...and III...and IV

would help if you provided some reason for your heroine to prefer the abuse to Mr. Perfect.

I understand what you were trying to do but for the comedy aspect to work you really needed some more interaction between the bad guy and the woman that was light hearted. The boring good guy didn't have enough personality to be liked or disliked he was just sort of a prop. But I think the main problem is you made the nasty guy TOO nasty in the way that his personal life was, to be a believable character. The thing about good fiction, is that it must imitate real life just enough to fool the reader into investing real emotions into the experience of reading it. I think most people who start to read this story stop and move on to another story after that dirty penis sucking part because it is too far of a stretch to get anyone to invest more effort to go further. You started the story very well with the set up of why she rang him but you needed to make him a little more likable and not as dirty in his personal grooming and so forth. We as a reader had to buy that the guy could exist as a character who would fill in a questionnaire looking for a partner.

I have only read the doctor Lesbian story of yours other than this and that was a pretty good porn story, it could have done with a little more character development but at least the characters could be believed to exist.

Anyway just thought maybe you might like some constructive criticism.

awesome story, thank you.