All Comments on 'Daughter Arranges First Night'

This is not with daughter but friend of daughter. It is no incest. .

So. . . Dad has his daughter, the his daughter gives dad to her friend who is both a Virginia and about to be married hmmm. Good idea that, perhaps, the daughter might have joined-in, post deflowering.

Good story that would be enhanced with an experienced Proof Reader and editor.

I appreciate that English may not be your first language but encourage your continued writing. With experience come improvement, mostly for style since your story line is A-OK.

Hancrd

Changing first first person to 3rd person in 2nd para threw me off.

Terrible story… Terribly written. Please don’t write anything more.

Sorry to add to the pile on, but yeah have to assume English is your second language with the way this is written, you could definitely use some one to go through and edit your work.

Conversations in script form are always very unnatural to read, also “My pussycat is sore” seriously? It was by this point I could see things were already well off the rails.

I think you have the story mapped out in your head but can’t execute it. I reckon you’re gonna need to work on your creative writing, do some reading to see how others format everything and then get yourself a proof reader before coming back.

Stopped reading by the second sentence, please proofread.

Write a story about fucking Jia in lingerie. Sheer bra, satin garterbelt, sheer stockings with frilly ankle sox and heels that she keeps on while fucking.

Jia needs a facial and needs to drink daddy's cum.

She should talk about what a slut for Daddy she is. How she craves fucking. Loves fucking Daddy.

Jia will become a perfect fuck slut for Daddy.

I loved this story very much