All Comments on 'David's Day Off'

Please indicate when a story is a 'part 1'...

Not a bad start - but, definitely just an intro.

Really not enough to make me want to keep reading. The has to be a hook. I agree with the previous comment. Indicate in the title that it’s a multi-part story.

How is this an IR story? The writing shows how unaware you are concerning the human anatomy. It's like reading a 14 year olds ramblings. An 8" cock and the most foolish part. Balls the size of extra large eggs. Not only is it unnatural, do you have any idea how uncomfortable that would be? Trying to walk would be miserable. Then there's the insinuation that because they're "bigger" balls they'll have double or triple the amount of sperm. As I said previously, you write like a teenager. Ignorance has put you on the enormous pile of the next writer to ignore.

"To be continued..."

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No chapter # in the title to warn this wasn't a complete story BEFORE opening it always earns an automatic rating of 1.