Daydreaming on Deck

"Okay."

I was surprised, but extremely happy. I traded my moccasins for three-inch heels and put on darker lipstick. Now I was ready to serve drinks.

An hour later the deck was filled with people, we were eating and drinking. We had hotdogs and hamburgers, french fries and salad. I had to have someone drive me back to Linda's house to get more soda and wine, more vegetables, and more dip. It was a perfect Friday night, we laughed, we danced, I told everyone I was taking a job at a winery. We cheered, it was so nice. It was one of the happiest moments of my life, it was so spontaneous. I sent pictures to the kids. I sent them pictures of Merch and Logan and his deck lights, I sent them a picture of me and Angela and told them she was my best friend. I sent a group shot of everyone waving to the camera, even the dog.

I would have to leave my car in more parking lots.

***

I was in Logan's bedroom, it was very big, it had huge windows and floor-to-ceiling curtains. I imagined I was in a mansion, a castle, a hotel. I was wearing my short white, nightie. I had on nude thigh highs, white panties, and a pair of strappy white pumps. I had on my beige bra to hold my breast forms and I had my hair in a band, held high on the back of my head. I wanted to see my earrings, long gold below and little gold dots above. I had just taken a long shower, I was now putting on my lip color, I had taken forever to put on the little bit of makeup I had in my pocketbook. It was late and I was making believe I was on vacation. I was talking to the woman in my mirror. "Maybe we will go skiing tomorrow." She smiled at me, I was using one of my big powder brushes. "Or maybe not. I didn't bring my gloves." Squishing my face.

"Or skis," She said surprising me.

I giggled. Logan was playing with the dog, he told me to call him when I was ready. I was ready.

I was on the bed, checking my nails as he walked in. Shaking my ponytail. "Can I help you?"

He smiled, he moved next to me on the bed, he kissed my hand, my arm then my neck. He kissed my lips. "Oh hello," He said, "Will you be staying the night, would you like a wake-up call?"

"Mmm, yes, and yes."

I laid back and he started licking my neck, making his way down my body. He nuzzled my breasts, kissed my stomach, lifted my nighty. "Mmm, very sexy. All this for me?"

"Most of it." I giggled some more, he was tickling me with his rough face, his light beard. He had his mouth on my transparent panties, his nose and chin investigating. He took the front of my panties into his mouth, he sucked, I was completely tucked, I am sure I felt like a woman to him. I started to moan, I was liking whatever he was doing. His fingers were on my legs, my nylon, he started kissing down my body again. He lifted my leg and kissed my heels, my ankles. I moved up on my elbow to watch, to watch him enjoying himself, to watch him get more excited.

"I was talking to Ricardo this morning," He said as he kissed and played with my legs and heels. "He said you were very talented and intuitive, both he and Natasha plan on learning a lot from you."

"Really? That's nice, usually, no one remembers me the next day."

He stopped, he looked at me, "Starting now, I want you to stop that. You are a beautiful, exciting woman no matter what you think or whatever Linda says. She is just trying to get a rise out of you"

I didn't know what to say, I felt a little nervous. "Okay."

I lightly shook my head and then he stood up, he took off his robe, his shirt, his briefs. His cock was hard. I put out my fingers drawing him in closer. he teased me, he was too far away. I got all the way up and slid to the end of the bed. I looked up into his eyes as his cock snuck between my breasts. I rubbed and squeezed, I dipped my head and took him into my mouth. We moaned we sighed. I sucked him, his hardness making it into my mouth causing a friction through my lips. My red lips. I took hold of his bare ass and guided him in and out of my mouth. He played with my ponytail. I didn't want him to cum yet, I wanted to enjoy the feel of his dick inside me, but Logan had other ideas. He slipped out of my mouth, he kissed me and I moved back onto the bed.

"I had a fantastic time tonight. I always have fun when I'm with you." He smiled, he kissed me again. "I told everyone you were my girlfriend. And they were quite happy for me. One of the older women, Jane, said that I was the luckiest man in the world."

"Ha, really? she is so nice."

"She told me when we are ready we can have use of her house in Tahoe." We laughed and I made plans in my head.

"Will we need skiis?" I giggled.

Logan's face explored my body again, he went down and took off my panties, I stayed tucked as he licked and sucked the line of hair that is usually hidden in my tight bikinis. A couple of times he looked up at me, I thought he was going to ask where my 'clit' was, had it been removed, or was I just great at tucking, if he even knew what that was. I was small, I was great at tucking. His finger went inside me and I moved, I started to get hard and I asked him to lay next to me. I didn't want him to view that part of me yet, but I wanted his fingers inside me. I took his manhood and played with him, my long fingernails tickling his cock and balls, his finger now inside me to the knuckle.

"Oh my god, Logan." I closed my eyes, I was loving this. He added another finger. "Oh my god," My head went back, my midsection went up, I let go of his hard cock. He took something from the side table and I felt the coolness inside of me. He kissed me again, I put my arms around his neck, I wanted to taste him all night. He gave me one more kiss and maneuvered his body in front of me, he was so hard, his cock was throbbing. He lifted my legs, took my nylon thighs in his hands as I covered my 'clit.' He put the head of his cock at my opening and slowly he pushed. He moved my legs to get a better grip and slipped in a little more. I watched him, he was so focused, he was enjoying this new relationship.

I got up on my elbows, he watched me. I took my hair out of the band. I smiled at him and shook my head. My hair swung around my face, my earrings jingled. I was trying to be sexy. He suddenly pushed his cock more into me, he was all in. I felt his body against me, my eyes got wide, I laid back down on the bed as he pushed into me, we started to fuck, it was wonderful. I started moving, matching his rhythm. After a while we changed positions, I was now on my side, a leg in his hand, it felt amazing, he was making me feel like a 'woman' like I have been doing this my whole life. I wasn't a novice I was a mature sexually active 'female.'

He spun me around once more, he was in front of me again. I watched his cock enter, the entire length of it push its way into my body, I screamed when he pushed in harder, I moaned, I was having an orgasm. "Oh, my god, Logan, don't stop." It wasn't even hard. I was covering myself and caught it all in my hand. He watched as he continued to fuck me, I could tell he was so happy he made me come. I started to lick my hand and Logan started to cum inside me. He screamed out my name. I felt his jism shoot, I felt his sperm make its way down my tunnel. I moved my bottom I wanted his cum to make its way through my body, I wanted him to be a part of me. I held him tight as he kept his cock hard and buried.

He laughed, he let down my legs, I was a little sore. he laid down next to me and we kissed. He stopped and looked at me, looked at my eyes, my lips. He played with my hair, lightly touched my face. "You are incredible. Everybody loves you. Natasha told me that we looked so comfortable together."

"Did she?"

"She did, she called this morning too. She apologized for bringing up your transition. I gave her your number she is probably going to call tomorrow."

"Okay. I really liked her, I wish I had friends like her my entire life. Sometimes I feel like I wasted my time, but talking to her yesterday I realized I just wasn't ready. Now I am. Do you know what I mean?"

"I think I do."

And we kissed again, he held my breasts, he rubbed his wet cock against me. We fell asleep holding each other. We fell asleep with his hardness against my thigh. Tomorrow morning he will find me on his pillow, in his bed, that should make him very happy.

***

I was awoken, I was looking at Logan, he was sound asleep, heard him lightly breathing. I felt someone looking at me, I felt a presence, I wasn't used to sleeping with someone in a strange bed. Especially not a large hairy man. I heard a sniff. Merch had his paws on the bed, he was standing tall above and behind me, I think he needed something. I got up, I was still wearing my heels, I followed him to the back door. I put on his leash and we walked in the woods. I was breaking the sticks on the forest floor with my five-inch pumps, it had to be three or four in the morning, it was so quiet. Usually, I was nervous out alone, especially in something as thin as my nightgown, but with the dog, I felt pretty indestructible. Being with Logan and Merch had given me so much more confidence. I decided I was going to call Linda tomorrow morning, though I'm sure the kids have already called her. I would explain. I would tell her I need to do this, need to move on just like ten years ago when I went to France. The only difference was that I wasn't ever going to come back, and I wasn't doing it alone.

Merch was quick, just a quick pee in the woods, we headed up the back stairs. I saw Logan watching through the window, his hand on the pane, a huge smile on his face. He was naked.

I took off my heels before I went into his bedroom, I was now five inches smaller.

He was smiling at me, as he walked over to me. "You seem to be becoming indispensable around here." He whispered.

"I have?" He walked over to me and held me.

"I never realized you were so little." He kissed the top of my head and we got back into bed. We put the covers on, I heard the dog somewhere in the room.

Logan was facing me, our noses almost touching, it was nice I felt safe and relaxed. He touched my cheek, "It's nice having someone in bed, it's usually a very lonely place. If you want you could stay here. If you don't think you can go back."

"Maybe." I looked at him, he had been so nice to me but was it because of the promise of more sex, or did he really have feelings for me. I felt I was too old and mature for just sex, I think I needed more. I knew Linda was tired of me, my routines, my apologies, even my silence. I would keep my answer for a while. "Mmm maybe."

We started to kiss again it was nice. I put my hands on his chest, he put his in my hair and breast. "Natasha says you can live at the restaurant if you like too. You have a lot of options."

I smiled, it was such a crazy idea but I loved it. No one has ever invited me to do anything like this, no one has ever tried to take care of me. "Mmm."

We kissed some more and I leaned against him, my hair under his chin. I felt that I fit in this position so perfectly. I hated to compare him to Linda, I hated to compare the two situations. Linda and I haven't been intimate in years, maybe two years. I figured once the kids left the house we would have more time, more occasions to fool around in the big quiet house. I was wrong, she didn't like my perfume and she wanted to work more, she wanted to get away from the house. Her house, the one she was always working on.

I felt his cock, he was hard again. I played with him, imagining what his manhood looked like, it was dark, we were under the covers. He kissed me as he came into my hands, I licked them clean and told him, thank you for everything.

***

We got up early, picked up my car, and went in to visit Angela. We took the cases and boxes that I had at the house and put them in Logans' car. We went out on the deck, I called Linda.

"Sorry to bother you on your trip," I told her, I think she was surprised I was calling.

"Oh, yeah, that's alright, we're on a break."

"I'm sorry how things have turned out." I felt myself start to cry and Logan sat closer to me.

"Don't be sorry, I think it was inevitable. We have always been so different but I thought that's what made our marriage work."

"Mmm, me too."

I heard her talking to others, I heard her say she was almost done. I guessed she was done. "I find it crazy that you ended up with Logan."

"Really?"

"I thought for sure I would end up with him, with someone, he and I are very similar, I was always running into him at the Home Improvement stores. I figured he would take one look at you and I'd get all his sympathy."

"Oh? Funny how things happen."

"Yeah, funny, I invited him over to the house not realizing there would be a much prettier woman there for him to meet. We will be telling this story to our new friends you know."

"Mmm."

I said goodbye, I didn't tell her that Logan already told me some of that. I also didn't want to tell her she couldn't compare herself to me, I was always going to be the nicer one.

We picked up the dog. We drove south and I sat in the back, I watched Logan in the driver's seat. I was calm, my life was changing very rapidly, but I was quite calm. I had my hand on the Merch's neck, he didn't seem to be nervous at all. I held him and felt much better.

I went to the interview, they offered me the job, a couple of days a week. They were interested in my transition, interested in my ideas on helping their restaurant and services, interested in me. Natasha and Ricardo also hired me to set up their wine cellar, on their other floor. They promised me I would be quite busy.

That night we stayed in the little room in the basement, Merch, Logan and I. It was fun, we stayed another night. We made love in the little bed under the windows, listening to the workers set up the restaurant for the day. Smelling the sauces cook in the huge pots. I draped my arm around his neck, I was loving the silk of my slip, I felt his breath on my hair.

I asked him which of my outfits, out of all of them were his favorite. He looked down at me, I was wearing a pale blue slip, white stockings, and heels. My heels were scratching his legs.

"Well, is this a preview or is this what is happening right now?" He asked, and I moved up a little on the bed, I wanted to think about this. I wanted to pay attention, finally.

"Mmm," I put my finger to my lips, my long nails were suddenly the focus of his full attention. "This is what happening right now, right this very second."

He laughed, he shook his head, I must have had a serious look on my face. "Then this. This is my favorite outfit of yours. Whatever you are wearing at that moment it will be my favorite." His hand went on my breasts. He pulled me to him and we kissed, we listened to everyone else working.

I then asked in his ear if I could stay with him when we got back to Capistrano, at least until I was ready to settle in. It turned out we were never apart after that. It was nice being together, it was nice being a couple. It was especially nice being part of the conversation and not being hidden at the end of the table.

***

"I always look better in a mirror," I told her, she smiled, she was a listener like me. I was putting on my lip color, three steps like Angela taught me. Line, fill, then gloss. Almost red lips grew larger, happier.

I had my music low on my phone, so I heard a shuffling outside my bedroom threshold, the door was wide open showing me the morning light from the front window. "Are you talking to me?"

"Um, yes?" I didn't want my imagination to run away from me, the mind was a powerful tool. "I'm almost ready."

I finished brushing my hair, the curls were gone, it was now long and straight, parted on the side. Sometimes it covered my left eye, hiding my long eyelash, I could be quite sexy when I got in a mood. "I was thinking," I went back to our conversation in the mirror, I saw her head tilt, eyes squinting, paying attention. "I only SEE myself in a mirror, how then do I know it's better?"

I felt hands on my shoulders, I looked behind myself, behind my reflection. He kissed my cheek. "You are right, you do look better inside a mirror." Of course, the reflection smiled, she loved a compliment, even at my expense. "Are you ready? You promised to take me on your usual gallivanting run today, say goodbye to everyone."

I stood up, I was dressed so nice today, our last day. I had a flouncy white cotton top, short sleeves, and cold shoulders. I had on a short seafoam skirt, the same color as two of my princess dresses. I had on four-inch white sandals, with a natural chunky heel, I could reach his lips perfectly. We kissed in my new bedroom, our new bedroom. We would be saying goodbye to it soon, it was full of boxes, tubs, moving blankets, and bundles of Wine Enthusiast Magazines.

"Logan?"

"Mmm?"

"Are you going to miss this house?" I got close to him, my hair against his face.

"A little. This is where my kids grew up, I will always have memories of it. How about you?"

I thought, I put my head on his shoulder, my arms around his neck. "I'll miss it too."

"No baby, about your house, you know the one with the great porch and the huge deck."

"Oh, I will, but it made me sad seeing the empty bedrooms every day. I was missing the kids, the company."

Logan decided he was done working on the house, fixing drywall, replacing appliances, it was time to do something else, it was time to sell. We decided we wanted to go to restaurants, go to different towns, cities. Visit friends, family, museums, Madison Square Garden. We bought a house in Ramona, it was quieter and not too far from the Restaurants and Vineyard I would be working in, not too far from Natasha and Jeff. Maybe an acre away.

***

We first went to the mall, I introduced Logan to the women in the larger departments stores. I took him to Victoria's Secret, I wanted to show him off. We then went to Angela's, I didn't want to go in, I didn't want to say goodbye. I told him about the time Angela waited for me, and brought me in herself, holding my arm so I wouldn't run away.

He laughed. "They loved you right from the beginning."

We were outside the door, Angelas picture was right in the window welcoming the clients, I made him take a picture of me with it. Angela came out, of course she dragged me in. I hugged everyone, it was so hard, my eyes were a mess. She made me show her my new ring. My only ring. She made me show everyone. A couple of the girls were crying, I hugged them tightly. I told them that we were moving less than two hours away, but it felt so far, I didn't think my heart would be able to say goodbye to my favorite place, but I did. I gave everyone presents, I gave everyone smiles, Logan took notes as he watched from the big styling chair that I use to sit in. I invited everyone to come to visit, more parties, told them we had two extra rooms, three extra beds, and room for more. Told them we could have drinks in the lanai. Told them we didn't have to miss each other forever.

"Come on let's take one big group shot." Logan lined us up, he took over a dozen pictures, he even got in a couple of them. One day one of them will be on our wall in the living room. One day I will be serving wine from Bordeaux and eating clams or oysters or something no one loves yet, like Boulette d'Avesnes, surrounded by other pictures. New pictures we would take, of our new friends, our extended family.

We drove off, It was nice, it was sad, I was very happy. I sent some pictures to the kids.

We had two more stops to make before we left our little town, before we headed to our new life, to be with our new unpacked furniture.

We parked behind the moving vans. First, we picked up Merch, I sat in the back with him again. I had my book, he had his bone, it wouldn't be a long trip, we would listen to my favorite music. We pulled up, six minutes away. We parked behind another couple of moving vans.